“Yeah, I understand,” I murmured.
She put her focus on me again. “You’ll be here for a while, sweetie. I want you to focus on that, okay? Focus on yourself. Have fun. Make new friends. Live your life and forget about what happened. By the time we see you again, I’m sure things will be better.” She cupped my cheek. “You’ve worked hard to get here, baby. Don’t let a little setback keep you from doing great things, all right? We’re the Jennings. We don’t let anything weigh us down for long.”
I struggled to smile, but put one on to satisfy her. “Okay,” I whispered.
“Okay.” She wiped her face again. “Good.” She wiped off her lap, even though nothing was there, and stood up with my hands still in hers. “Let’s finish getting you settled in and then I’ll be heading to the hotel. I could really use a shower and a nap. You sure you ate enough?”
“I’ll be good ‘til morning, but if I do get hungry, I’ll ask Henley what time the restaurants around campus close.”
There wasn’t much else for us to do when we got back to the room. Mom really wanted to meet my roommate, but she was nowhere to be found. I was eager to meet her too, only to see if we would get along.
I didn’t want a roommate like Frankie’s. Hers was a total bitch and a snitch, and since Frankie loved to have fun, I knew she was going to have a miserable first year. Thinking of Frankie made me leave a mental note to call her tomorrow and fill her in on my first day.
We couldn’t wait all night to meet one person, so eventually I was walking Mom to the parking lot.
“I’m going to get out of here, but call me if you need anything,” she said, opening the car door. “I’ll be back in the morning before I take the rental car to the airport. I’d really like to meet your roommate before I go.”
“Okay, Mom. Text me when you get checked in.”
She nodded and pressed her lips into a smile. “Make sure you call your dad, let him know you’re settled in.”
“Okay.” My heart ached a little from the mention of Dad.
I had a feeling she wanted to say more, but she didn’t want to ruin this moment—the first day jitters, anticipation, and excitement and all that. She constantly talked about how I needed to experience every single feeling and learn from it. She refused to take away from that with trivial matters.
“Love you, sweetie,” she sighed while hugging me. She released me and climbed behind the wheel, started the car up, and tossed me a wave goodbye.
Watching her leave was…strange. I wanted to cry, but I also felt this zing of liberation rush through me.
She was right before. This was my chance to start over and find myself. This was my chance to become unstoppable and to live my life, and I was going to do just that—right after giving my father a call.
Ten
KANDY
When I made it back to my room, I took my cellphone off the charger and called Dad. My heart drummed harder and faster with every ring.
I’d never been this nervous to call my Dad. Ever. My life had really, really shifted.
“Hello?” His voice was gruff.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Hey, Kandy.” I don’t know if it was just me, but he sounded relieved, like he was glad to hear from me. Did he think I wouldn’t call him? “How’s the dorm life treating you so far?”
I laughed. “Good, I guess. My RA is really nice and helpful and the pizza here is extra cheesy with not too much sauce.”
“Oh, man. Pizza? Be careful or you might get caught up in the freshman fifteen!”
I smiled. “I doubt it. We’ll be training and conditioning. I’ll have no choice but to burn it all off, but thanks for the heads up.”
He chuckled lowly. We were quiet a moment. The silence was deafening. I hated it. “Your mom left already?”
“Yeah. She’s on her way to the hotel now. She was trying to stick around to meet my roommate, but I’m sure she’s exhausted after the drive. I haven’t met my roommate yet either.”
“No? Is she around?”
“I don’t know. Her bed is all made up but I haven’t seen her since we started moving stuff in.”
“Oh. Well, I’m sure she’ll show up soon.” He cleared his throat. He only did that when he had something important to say, but was finding the right time to squeeze it into the conversation.
“What is it, Dad?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, as if he were truly clueless, but I knew something was up.
“You only do that throat-clearing thing when you have something to say. What is it?”
I hated asking. To be honest, I didn’t want to know what he had to say. I was afraid he would blast me, tell me he’d never be able to accept what had happened and move on from it.
But that wasn’t it at all. “Um…Cane didn’t go through with the assault charges. He also told my boss what really happened…that I got angry because of what he’d done with you. I’ll be back to work next week.”
“Oh…uh…wow. That’s good!” I couldn’t believe it. “That was nice of him.” Really nice of him, in fact.
“I guess.”
“You guess? Dad, if he hadn’t dropped the charges and told them the truth, you might’ve lost your job.”
“I know that, Kandy. I’m glad he did it, but I’m not going to go around thanking the man for something he shouldn’t have done in the first place.”
I bit back all words. His anger was creeping in again. Not only that, but he was still hurt about this. Deep down, I knew Dad wanted to thank Cane, but his anger was fiercer than any sympathy he could give.
“I—I know. I’m sorry,” I murmured.
He let out a long, weary exhale. “Don’t be sorry. I’m not angry with you, Kandy. I’m angry about the situation, you know? I mean…I just. I don’t know. Maybe I’m mad at myself for not seeing it before having it shoved in my face like that. Now that I think about it, there were signs and I ignored them all. He was always…different with you. Always very careful and attentive to your needs.”
I didn't know what to say to that, and was glad he kept talking to spare me from filling in.
“As a kid, I understood his protectiveness over you. You grew on him, stuck to him like a little leech, and it was impossible to say no to you. But last year…I noticed there were changes. I noticed it but thought it was just my paranoia and cop instincts kicking in. I should have listened to what my gut was telling me. He was such a good guy that I thought, ‘No, not Cane. He wouldn’t do that to me. He’s my best friend. I’d take a bullet for him and I’m sure he’d do the same for me.’” He sighed. “There’s a reason I don’t have many friends. I don’t trust a lot of people.”
“Cane didn’t come onto me, Dad,” I said. “I just want you to know that. He never did anything to me that I didn’t want.”
“Kandy—“
“No, Dad, listen. I’m serious. I know you want to place all the blame on him but I knew what I was doing with him. He didn’t force it or make me do anything I didn’t want to do. As a matter of fact, he told me no repeatedly from the start but…I didn’t like it, and like you just said, it was always impossible for him to say no to me. Eventually, he caved and gave me what I wanted.”
He grumbled something, but I couldn't comprehend it. “I just don’t get it,” he muttered. “Why him? Why the only real friend I had?”
I stared down at the zigzags on the blue carpet then plucked at a string on my comforter. “I…I don’t know. I really don’t.” A tear escaped me as I thought of all the people I could have chosen to do something with instead of Cane. How all of this could have been prevented if I hadn’t been so selfish and needy several week sago. “Ever since I met him, I’ve liked him. A lot. I’ve always wanted him…and I’m sorry it was him, Dad. I tried to ignore the way I felt so many times but…I couldn’t fight it. I really love him.”
He scoffed. “Love him? Really, Kandy? Listen to yourself! What did he tell you that has you so damn brainwashed?!”
&nb
sp; “He didn’t tell me anything and I’m not brainwashed! I don’t know why you and Mom think that! I’m old enough to know better and old enough to understand.” I huffed. “Doesn’t matter. I’m sure I’ll never see him again anyway.”
“Damn right you won’t. You’re in school and you’re starting over. You’re better off there, you hear me?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Good.” He was quiet a beat. “This changes nothing between us and I want you to know that.” His voice was softer, so sincere that my heart ached and my throat thickened. “You’re still my baby girl and I love you to death. There is nothing you can do that will ever change that.”
Another tear came rushing down, hot and swift. “I love you too.”
“Okay.” He grunted. “Stay safe and keep in touch. Get some rest too. I’m going to call your mother, check on her.”
“Okay.”
We said good night and I stared down at my phone screen. I had this sudden urge to cry—to just break down right then and there, sob into my pillow, and collect myself later…but I didn’t get the chance and truly, I was glad.
The door swung open and a husky girl with broad shoulders, thick arms and legs, and a slightly round mid-section walked through the door.
Her dirty-blond hair was tied up in a ponytail, her skin tan and sun kissed, and her eyes as blue as sapphires. She wore softball gear, her socks stained with grass and red dirt. She was almost intimidating in size. She had to be nearly four feet taller than me, and she had a strong build.
“Oh—shit!” She clutched the heart of her shirt when she spotted me. “Jesus, you scared me! I didn’t think anyone would be in here when I got back!”
I stood up, fidgeting with my phone. “Sorry—yeah, I got here about four hours ago.” I pointed at her bat and glove when she dropped the gear on the floor. “You were practicing?”
“Oh—yeah! I wanted to try out the new field, see if it felt as good as the rumors said.” She smirked, snatching the hairband out of her hair, her curly strands swimming around her heart-shaped face. “We weren’t supposed to, but oh well. Was totally worth it. No rocks or pebbles. Nice red dirt. The perfect playing field.” She stepped to her side of the room, pressing a palm to the nightstand and pulling off her cleats.
So, she was my roommate. I had to admit, she wasn’t who I was expecting after seeing all the purple and pink.
“Shit—I’m sorry. I’m Morgan. Morgan Page. Best outfielder you’ll ever fucking meet.”
I smiled as she extended an arm and offered her hand. She had a potty mouth too, just like Frankie. I loved it. “I’m Kandy,” I said, grabbing her hand to shake it. “Kandy Jennings.”
“Oh my gosh—wait. WHAT?” She dropped her arm, her eyes so wide I thought they’d pop out of her head. “Okay, I am legit having a fan-girl moment! I have been dying to meet you! If I’d known you were going to be my roommate I would have showered first! Henley didn’t tell me anything about you being my roommate! Gah—you look much different from when I saw you two years ago!”
“You saw me two years ago?” I laughed. “Where?”
“Okay, so funny story. I’m from North Carolina. I played for Providence High School in Charlotte. You may not remember this, but during playoffs our junior year, we played each other in South Carolina!”
“Oh wow—I do remember playing Providence! You guys were really good!”
“Yeah—I totally remember because you gave one of our best batters these really tough pitches. She couldn’t hit any of them—well I mean the ones she did hit sucked and didn’t get far. Everyone was so shocked. The crowd was cheering your name—Kandy! Kandy! Kandy! It was fucking awesome, not gonna lie. Don’t get me wrong, I was pissed that we lost, but I also give credit where it is due and you, ma’am, are one of the best pitchers I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting! I can’t believe I’m sharing a room with you!”
I giggled. “Well, it’s nice to formally meet you. Sorry we whipped your butts that year.”
She broke out in a hoarse laugh. “Well, we’re on the same team now, so it’s all good. Just so you know, you won’t get any trouble from me. We’re in the same boat. We’re the only freshmen on the team, can you believe that?”
“Yeah, Coach Carmen was telling me that in an email. It’s going to be weird. Have you met any of the other girls yet?”
“I’ve met Gina, she’s a sophomore and really cool. I saw a few of the seniors and Gina tried to introduce me to them but they pretended like they were too busy.” She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “It’s whatever. I don’t have time for these fake bitches. There’s a girl here, Sophie. She’s a pitcher too, but you know she got injured over the summer and can’t play too well. I saw her and she frowned at Gina and me. I think she’s pissed because she knows someone good is here to replace her.”
“Oh, wow. I’ve heard about Sophie.” Lots of things about Sophie Banks, actually. She’d taken the Notre Dame team to sectionals twice with her quick arm. Not only that, but she’d entered a beauty pageant for her county last summer and won. She was all Coach Carmen could talk about.
“Well, I’ll tell you now, you’re ten times better than she is. Only reason she’s still on the team is because Coach Carmen wants her to finish her scholarship. She’s also an ass-kisser, which Carmen loves. I have no doubt that Coach Carmen is a pussy-muncher through and through. She loves to have her ass kissed and to be adored by her players.” Morgan threw her hands in the air carelessly. “Whatever floats your boat, you know, but I’m not an ass-kisser. I’m just here to play and hopefully lose a few pounds with conditioning.”
“Yep,” I sighed. “It’s a new start. Just want to learn and play and have fun doing it.”
“Eh, I don’t know about the learning part,” she teased. “Really though, I’m super laid back. As long as you don’t touch or eat my shit, we’re cool.”
“Cool,” I laughed.
“Wanna catch dinner? Maybe Gina will be out and I can introduce you guys. Have her show us around a little?”
“Sure. That sounds good.”
“Okay, cool. Let me hit the shower then I’ll be ready to go.”
She left the room with her shower caddy in seconds. I sat on the sofa and smiled.
My roommate was awesome, and my call with Dad didn’t end with lashing out and bad words. I was having a surprisingly good day, despite the guilt that lingered, and I should have been grateful for that, but the longer I sat there alone, the more I realized something was missing.
I wanted to hear Cane’s voice—tell him how things were going. I wanted to fill him in on every single detail but this was my reality now.
This was life. It was unfair and sometimes cruel. Life could throw a bucket of ice water in your face and you’d have no choice but to dry yourself off, warm back up, and keep it moving.
As I sat in my new room and took a look round, that’s what I promised myself I would do.
Keep moving. Find myself. Forget about the past.
Even if forgetting meant hurting every day.
Eleven
CANE
As soon as I was told I could check out from the hospital, I called a driver and had him pick me up first thing.
Of course, Kelly was still around. I was so fucking sick of her and she had no idea just what kind of shit I could pull out of my sleeve. She thought she had me backed into a corner but she was sadly mistaken.
My driver, Neo, pulled up to the hospital in no time. When he opened the door for me, Kelly asked, “Do you want me to meet you at your place?”
I grimaced over my shoulder. “Why the fuck would I want that?” I growled.
“I’ll be over later,” she declared, ignoring my remark.
“Don’t bother. I have a few stops to make first, then I’m going by the office. I won’t be home.” I got into the car and Neo shut the door. He got behind the wheel, but of course Kelly knocked on my window. I let out an agitated sigh, cracking it slightly.
“Call me when you’re home. We have a lot to talk about, Cane.” Her eyes were narrowed but serious, her lips pursing after her sentence.
I glared at her through the crack, while a smile spread across her lips like she had no fucking care in the world. “Don’t you have some work to do somewhere? Or did you lie about that too?”
She smirked. “I took a week off to take care of you, Quinton.” She stood up straight. “I’ll see you tonight.”
I rolled the window up and looked away, telling Neo to go. I needed to distance myself from her immediately, before I did something I regretted.
“Where to, sir?” Neo inquired.
“I’ll text you the address.”
When I sent it to him, I rested the back of my head on the headrest, which gave me a clear reminder that maybe I shouldn’t have been going to the place I had in mind. I had to make things right, though, even if it felt like it was too soon.
As soon as Neo pulled into the driveway of Derek’s home, I felt my stomach clench. I’d forgotten what it was like to be nervous about an outcome. I was so confident with my job and my life lately, that feeling anxious had never fazed me.
Maybe this was why all of this had happened. It’d knocked me down a notch, shortened my ego. Right now, I was in a sticky bind, not only with my best friend, but with my company too. It was on the line, thanks to Kelly and her bullshit.
I’d lost a big deal and Zheng refused to speak to me again after witnessing the horrors of that night. If I couldn’t make my work life better, I at least had to try with my personal life.
The Cane Series: Complete 4-Book Box Set Page 32