Friendship of Desire
~~ Painful Deliverance: Book Three ~~
ANN M PRATLEY
Copyright © 2016 Ann M Pratley
All rights reserved
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1 ~ THE FORMATION OF A FRIENDSHIP
2 ~ THE CLUB
3 ~ THE INDUCTION OF A FRIEND
4 ~ THE BREAK-UP
5 ~ THE NEW PLAY PARTNERS
6 ~ THE TEST OF A FRIENDSHIP
7 ~ THE GROWTH OF TWO SOULS
8 ~ THE WEDDING
9 ~ THE DECLARATION
10 ~ THE FINAL CHAPTER
THANK YOU!
NEW RELEASE: THE GOLDEN DESIRES
BONUS EXTRACT: TOTAL FREEDOM
UPCOMING RELEASE: TOTAL NEW BEGINNINGS
INTRODUCING: ALESSANDRA
INTRODUCING: CRUISING THROUGH TO FULFILMENT
BONUS EXTRACT: DRAB TO SEX GODDESS IN 365 DAYS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
1 ~ THE FORMATION OF A FRIENDSHIP
A Fairly Long Time Ago
Tom and Samantha. In their kindergarten years they had been the two kids in their neighbourhood who seemed to repel off each other the same way magnets do when their polarity is not the right way around. In the kindergarten classroom they would hit each other. They would yell at each other. And when one of them had that particular toy, the other suddenly had to have it. Adults - parents and teachers - looked at these two in wonder that they so constantly kept drawing toward each other, when it so obviously seemed that they should keep away - very far away - from one another.
But despite the repelling when they were in close vicinity, they did keep pulling toward each other in terms of company they each kept. Through the kindergarten years, and on through the early years of schooling, still they could rile each other up so well that no-one who viewed them could make any sense of it at all. But always when there was a birthday party, the other had to be invited. When the school holidays occurred, one ensured the other had to come for a visit. But always, their constant was the fighting. Sometimes physical - on more than one occasion either or both of them would end up crying to an adult about the other hitting them - but mostly it comprised a fairly constant flow of verbal attacks. It was like they thrived on it. As if their friendship survived on it.
Until high school.
~~~~~
Being the same age but maturing at different rates, Samantha was the first to ease off from the close-but-frayed friendship the two of them had shared for most of their lives to date.
"Samantha!" Tom would yell out to her from across the high school yard, eager to gain her attention and simply be able to talk to her … only to receive a look from her that to many would not even be considered polite.
Samantha heard the voice and knew who it was, but now being 16, things were changing inside of her. And she did not know how to deal with the new thoughts inside her head, and the way she had always felt about Tom.
"He is following you again," her friend Tanya said to her one day when the two of them were sitting in the outdoor lunch area of the school grounds. "When are you going to talk to him and simply put him out of his misery?"
Samantha let her eyes drift over to her lifelong friend, who seemed to always patiently be sitting within close-but-not-too-close vicinity at this time of day.
"Stop it!" she teased Tanya back, a soft laugh in her voice. "He and I aren't like that. I don't think he even looks at girls yet, so stop trying to cause trouble."
Tanya laughed at her.
"You are so oblivious," she replied but let it go. The two girls had the same conversation almost every day, although occasionally Tanya let it go and kept quiet for a day now and then. "He is gorgeous. Why can't you see that?"
Samantha heard these words so often that she now just sighed in reply. There was no point in trying to prevent her friend from always getting back to this same conversation.
But Samantha did take a moment to look at Tom from the distance they were at. She knew him so well that it was difficult to carry out any kind of 'gorgeous assessment'. All she could see was the same face that she had grown up with. It might have changed slightly over the years but it was still the same face.
~~~~~
Despite his efforts to still talk to her, Tom felt confused by the sudden intensity with which his lifelong buddy was rejecting him. Yes, they fought often - they always had. But why did she now so easily just ignore him? He didn't know what had happened. It seemed like one minute they were their usual selves, driving each other nuts with infuriation due to one thing or another, and then next minute she seemed to just turn her back on him and not want to have anything more to do with him.
"Hi Tom," he heard a voice say to him as it passed by, and he looked up to see a girl from his English class smiling at him.
"Oh, hi Kelly," he said mindlessly but with a slightly automated smile on his face.
"Oh my God, did Kelly Keri just say hello to you?" he then heard his friend John asking him in amazement as he took a seat beside Tom.
"Yeah, I think so," Tom replied, still thinking about the ongoing sadness that he felt about his seemingly lost friendship with Samantha.
John laughed at him.
"You think so?" he asked, disbelieving that Tom could be so blind. "Tom, that girl is hot. And she is into you. Aren't you at least a bit excited about that?"
John watched as he saw Tom give him a look that said he did not comprehend what had just been said, and John continued to laugh. They had been friends only since the beginning of high school, but had a sound, easy going and fun friendship - something Tom hadn't had prior to meeting John, since his friendship with Samantha had always been anything but.
"Ugh," Tom said, shaking his head and smiling at his friend. "You think everyone likes me," he said, starting to laugh in return. "Well guess what? They don't!"
"Oh, man, I swear you choose to not see the girls making a play for you," John responded and the two of them laughed together.
Tom looked over at Samantha once more and saw her give him a slight glimpse before she turned and left the area, with her friend following behind her.
There was just no denying it inside of him - he missed her. He knew they had always been rocky in their treatment of each other, but he missed her fast quips at him … her sarcasm … even her odd punches on the sensitive part of his arm, which had suffered immensely over the years they had known each other. He didn't know why, but quite simply … he missed her.
~~~~~
Tom sat in English class and indulged in listening to the teacher at the front of the class. He didn't want to be a nobody when he finished high school. He wanted to go on and do great things - what great things, he just had no idea as yet. But sitting around - standing around - doing a mundane job was something he didn't want to do. He knew it was a snobby way to think, given where he came from, but he didn't care. He just wanted more from his life, and if he had to ignore every other student in order to concentrate on the teachers and learn everything he had to, to pass every exam and get out of this place with the best academic record, he was going to do it.
As he listened to the teacher talking about that night's reading assignment, he felt a nudge on his arm and turned to see his classroom neighbour pass a note to him. Opening it he let out a sigh.
'Going to Bobby's party tonight? I'll go with you … if you ask me. Kelly."
It didn't occur to Tom at all that the note was from who it was signed by. It was something that John would do, just to try and get a bite from him. He silently tucked the note into his jeans pocket and resumed watching and listening to the teacher.
~~~~~
"Ha ha, you are so funny," he said to John when he next saw him, at the beginning of last period.
John looked up at Tom in surprise, not knowing what he was talking about.
"What? What have I done now?"
He saw Tom sit down beside him and give him an 'as if you don't know' look that he knew so well. Certainly in the relatively short time since the two of them had met, John had subjected Tom to a fair amount of pranks - enough for it now to be more than a little expected whenever something happened.
"You know," Tom said, shaking his head but smiling at his mischievous friend.
"No, I don't! I swear! What are you looking at me so suspiciously for?"
Tom removed the note from his pocket and threw it at John, who picked it up and read it before turning his head and looking at Tom with wide eyes.
"I didn't write this - I swear!"
"Oh John, who else would have written it?!"
John laughed at this quirky friend who had so recently come into his life.
"Um … perhaps Kelly?"
Tom laughed it off. It simply did not occur to him to believe it.
~~~~~
"Come on!" John yelled at Tom, frustrated at having to wait for his friend to be ready before they could head off to the party. "I still think you should have talked to Kelly," he said to him, watching Tom finally start to leave his house with him. "She is going to be pissed that you didn't take her."
Tom didn't know if John was being honest or indulging in another prank. Earlier he had been sure it was a case of the latter, but now he was not so sure.
The two of them walked into the house and already a crowd was amassing. Tom's first instinct was to look for Samantha, and in doing so, his eyes glazed right over Kelly passing in front of him. To her it was like he simply looked right through her.
He suddenly felt an almost painful nudge in his side.
"Dude!" he heard John saying out loud with the sound of incredulity in his voice. "Seriously?"
"What?" Tom asked, completely oblivious to what his friend was talking about now.
"Kelly just smiled and waved at you … and you looked right through her!"
"Oh," Tom said and immediately changed his focus to try and seek her out. He wasn't at all interested in her - as yet he really wasn't particularly interested in dating, if he was honest with himself. He just wanted his friend back…
"She is over there," John said as he pointed the way. "Will you please go and talk to her. Man, you are making that girl suffer!"
"Okay, okay," Tom said, not understanding why it was really so important, but willing to believe his friend for once.
He spotted Kelly and walked toward her, seeing her eyes contact with his and a smile form on her face as they did. Tom knew she was a girl in the school who was seen as 'hot' and 'fine' - he had heard many such descriptions about her in recent times - but none of these descriptions really meant anything to him. To him girls were still just other people and could as easily be friends as guys could.
"Tom. I thought you must have had a really good reason to ignore me since I didn't hear anything from you about my note today," she said and he cringed inside.
"Ugh … sorry, I … I thought that was a joke from John. Sorry!" he said, feeling like the biggest idiot around.
Kelly watched his face and laughed out loud.
"Ahh, that makes sense! I know what a trickster John is so I can totally see why you might assume he was setting you up or something," she said, smiling at him with amusement. "But rest assured, in this instance it was indeed me who sent that note."
Tom felt stupid all of a sudden, and she could see his embarrassment on his face. She didn't often look at the boys in her school - she wasn't oblivious to the attention they sometimes gave her, so she tried to keep her head down and not look at any one of them in case they expected something from her all of a sudden.
But she liked the quiet strength that came off Tom. Like he was unaware of how good looking he was. Like it did not occur to him that someone might like him. It was different … and it made him different from the other boys in their year.
"Yes," he said to her, blushing slightly now. "Sorry."
She laughed at him again.
"It's all good - no worries at all. We are both here now. How are you?" he heard her ask and he had to think about that question before he answered.
"I'm doing okay I guess," he started to say and saw her laughing softly at him again. He felt himself feel sheepish all of a sudden. "Nothing much happens in my life."
Just then he lifted his head and turned it, and out of the corner of his eye he noticed Samantha had arrived. He watched her - she had arrived with her friend, Tanya - as they made their way through the living area where he stood, and into the kitchen.
Kelly watched the line of sight from his eyes and recognised that he was looking at another girl. And she didn't like that.
"Tom, do you want to come outside with me?" she asked and he turned back to her. "Just for a few minutes?"
He looked at her, his mind suddenly torn between the person who seemed to want his attention, and the one who seemed to not.
"Umm," he mumbled, looking back toward the kitchen one more time. "Yeah, sure."
She smiled at him, not liking at all that he would be looking at someone other than her. She always drew attention. She did not like not being able to hold the attention of someone she wanted to like her.
The two of them walked out the front door and around the side of the house where Tom found himself suddenly pushed up against an exterior brick wall.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, not sure what was happening.
Kelly leaned into him and placed her lips on his. Even though only 16, she had kissed many boys. He, at 16, had so far kissed no-one. He had so far not wanted to kiss anyone.
For a few minutes he remained still, wondering what he should be feeling in this, his first kiss. Being intellectual he found himself considering how the two sets of lips felt as they sat against each other, but there was no real feeling in it - not for him anyway.
After a few minutes Kelly pulled away, looking at him with a surprised look on her face. He hadn't kissed her back. Was that because he didn't know how to kiss? Or because he just didn't want to kiss her?
"What gives?" she asked him, surprising him in return.
"What…" he stammered, rubbing his lips with the back of his hand. "What do you mean?"
She saw the movement - it was like he was erasing her kiss - and suddenly felt disgusted with herself. She never pushed herself on guys - she never had to.
"I like you, Tom. Don't you like me?" she asked and he actually felt a little sorry for her. He didn't want to kiss her … but he equally didn't want her to feel bad!
"Kelly, I'm …" he started, before taking a deep breath. "Ugh, I'm sorry. I am just not ready for this kissing stuff. It isn't you…" he began to explain but she stormed off, leaving him there alone.
He stood up against the wall, hating that he might have just upset her - that he might have just upset anyone. This was so difficult, going through this period of time where his friends all wanted to be doing kissing and stuff, and he still hadn't found any desire for it. He knew full well that he should want it … but that didn't change the fact that he didn't.
He stood where he was, leaning up against the wall, closed his eyes and just listened to the music coming from within the house, while taking deep breaths to try and just keep calm inside of him.
"Oh!" he heard a familiar voice say, and quickly opened his eyes to turn in that direction.
"Samantha, please stop!" he called out as he saw her starting to edge herself away. "Please don't go."
Samantha heard the pleading in his voice and slowly and quietly walked forward toward him.
"I don't understand what has happened between us," he said to her, not making any move to get closer to her. "Please tell me what I've done…"
"You haven't done anyth
ing, Tom."
"Then why…?"
"I'm just not interested in you," Samantha said, feeling like the biggest idiot for even saying such a thing.
"You're not … interested … in me? What does that even mean? We've been friends since … forever. You seem to have just decided all of a sudden that I am not good enough to be your friend anymore. Why?"
Samantha looked at his face closely. She was changing. She wanted a boyfriend. She wanted to find love. She just didn't want it with him.
"Tom, I am never going to want you to be my boyfriend…"
"Boyfriend?! What are you talking about? When have I ever insinuated that I want to be your boyfriend?" he asked, although suddenly starting to finally understand where her thinking was coming from. "I just want us to be friends, like we've always been! Why do you act like that has to change?"
"Because it does!" she shouted at him, surprising him before she toned down her voice again. "Because we are changing, and it is time for us to be different. I want a boyfriend. You want a girlfriend…"
"No! I do not! Don't throw that at me. I am not anywhere near wanting that! I just want friends - I want you back as my friend. You can put whatever conditions you want on that - I will only talk to you when we are alone, or I will not talk to you when we are alone - however you want it, I don't care! Why does you wanting a boyfriend affect us?! I don't get it … I don't get it at all."
"I…" he saw her stammer with a look of confusion on her face. "I don't know! It just does!"
Tom suddenly felt angry at her. She was trying to give him reasons for her recent distance but they didn't make any sense to him, and all he could see was that his friendship must be worth so little to her, for her to throw him away so easily after all of their years of being so entwined in each others' lives.
He knew he had reached a breaking point. He had watched her and tried to coax her to talk to him but talking to her now - hearing her weak justification for such action as throwing their friendship away - he had to accept that he was just wasting his time trying to cling to a friendship that most definitely must be past its expiry date.
Friendship of Desire (Painful Deliverance Book 3) Page 1