Phantasmal Party

by Trey Myr

  Ed dismissed the goblin with a wave of his hand, regaining the mana used to summon it, picked up his gear, and left the motel, heading towards the Labyrinth.

  ◆◆◆

  There are many famous and imposing structures in the Labyrinth.

  The Spire of Wisdom, home to the Brotherhood of Hermes. The Castle Eden, where the House of Adam lived, isolated from all who have abandoned their humanity. The Arctology, where the Bjørnsons lived, perhaps lamenting their founder's sense of humor. The Labyrinth Exchange, where credits were coined and high powered Shards were sold to the highest bidder. Other, stranger structures hid away in the depths of the Labyrinth, populated by tribes of monsters, delvers who chose to never rise to the surface, and other, more mysterious, entities.

  Not nearly as imposing, but perhaps no less famous, there was the Drunken Pug. Looking like the bastard child of a medieval public house and a military basic training facility, the Pug was part long term dwelling for unaffiliated delvers, part training ground/gym, two parts rowdy pub, and one part clubhouse, and most importantly, the place you went when you were looking for group.

  Need to find newcomers to brave the second floor with? Sveta at the bar will hook you up.

  Need a tank to top up your party for a raid on the Dreadlords in the Unnumbered Halls? Put up a notice and someone will come up.

  Looking to scope up likely marks for some PvP action? Better get out fast. Mustafa, the bouncer, has a telepathy Shard, a scimitar longer than you, and a really nasty disposition towards murderers.

  The first thing Ed saw when he approached the Pug was the large neon sign, depicting a particularly ugly dog with a mug of beer in its paw. The second was Mustafa. Three and a half meters tall, (four if you count the topknot), skin as bronze as a Bjørnson's armored exoskeleton, and a mustache you could tug of war a main battle tank with, the legendary bouncer of the Drunken Pug made sure anyone who entered knew that he was there.

  Nodding politely (very politely) to the bouncer, Ed entered the Pug, heading straight towards the bar. Sveta, the bartender, was standing behind the bar cleaning a ceramic mug with a hand towel and watching the moderately full common room. Not that she actually needed to clean it. She had a modern dishwashing machine in the back, and more than enough employees to man it, thank you very much. But a proper public house has an image to maintain, and a bartender endlessly cleaning a mug was as important a part of said image as the mysterious cloaked stranger in the corner.

  "Grog, grub or group?" asked Sveta as soon as Ed stopped in front of the bar.

  "Ergh…" said Ed, bereft of all coherent thought.

  He knew what to expect, of course. Sveta was famous among anyone with even the slightest interest in the Labyrinth. As famous, perhaps, as the Founding Five themselves. There was a difference, however, between knowing someone has a tier 6 Celestial Choir Shard and actually hearing them speak.

  Used to the effect her voice has on people, Sveta went back to cleaning her mug, waiting patiently for the passive stun effect to pass.

  "Group" Ed managed to say after a couple of minutes.

  "Right." Said Sveta. "I don't remember seeing you before. You new here?"

  "Yeah. Just finished my solo yesterday."

  "OK then." Sveta reached beneath the bar, taking out a short, printed form and a pen. "I need to register you, and then we'll see if you fit any waiting group. Name?"

  "Eduard Fergusson."

  "Preferred role?"

  "Melee. Trained in HEMA, specializing in quarterstaff."

  "Nice. Always a demand for decent front liners. Any useful Shards?" She asked, already starting to mark "none" before even hearing his answer."

  "Wait up. I've got a Skill. Summons a goblin with basic spear skills."

  "You've got a what?" For the first time since the conversation started, Sveta turned her full attention on Ed.

  "I've got a Skillshard. Summons a goblin with a spear. It's fairly weak, but it can still fight."

  "Where'd a newbie like you get something like that?"

  "Lucky drop in the first floor."

  "Seriously lucky drop. Shards rarely drop below the third. OK. I've got a group for you. They've got a bit more experience than you, but if you aren't lying about your training and Shards, you should be a good match. Go up the stairs to the second level, seventh room on the left, look for a Ram-kin named Kevin, he leads your new group. Tell him I sent you, and good luck."

  Having finished her directions, Sveta went back to cleaning her spotless mug, ignoring Ed's continued presence with practiced ease.

  Sveta's directions brought Ed to an unremarkable looking door in the second floor of the Drunken Pug. A knock on the door was quickly answered by a deep, bleating "come in!"

  The room looked little different from Ed's motel room outside of the Labyrinth. A simple bed set against the far wall, below a window that couldn't possibly have opened to the outside, and yet somehow still showed a beautiful mountainous vista. A plain closet stood on the left side, and a desk on the right.

  There were four young looking people in the room, and all four where staring at Ed as soon as he opened the door.

  Leaning against the closet was a large man covered in shaggy white hair, his lean and muscular form visible under a motorcycle jacket and plain jeans. Curled ram horns framed his long snouted, gentle looking face, and his feet ended in sharp looking cloven hooves. A short bow and quiver of arrows stood on the ground next to the person who had to be Kevin.

  Seated on the bed were two human women. The one on the left was heavily muscled and wearing actual leather armor. Her short platinum hair was clearly cut with little regard to fashion, leaving her piercing blue eyes, uncovered by any stray wisp, to dominate a face that was striking, if not quite beautiful. A small shield was leaning against her legs, and a short cudgel sat on the bed beside her. Even sitting down, it was obvious that she was at least a hundred and eighty centimeters tall.

  Sitting next to her was her polar opposite. A head shorter than her companion, her black hair caught in a braid that must reach at least the middle of her calves when she was standing up. Black eyes looked at Ed from a gorgeous, dark skinned face with an almost physical intensity. Her short, curvy frame was covered by what appeared to be a home-made wizard's robe, and a quarterstaff laying at her feet revealed her supposed role in the delve.

  The fourth member of the group sat on a chair next to the desk. Blonde haired and green eyed, Ed wouldn't have been the least bit surprised to see him on stage, belting out pop lyrics as part of a boy band. He was dressed in a button down shirt and slacks, long knife sheathed at his belt.

  "Ehh, hi. I'm Ed. Sveta said you guys needed a melee?"

  "About bloody time!" sneered the guy sitting at the desk. "It's been three days since Chad got eaten, and we've been sitting on our arses waiting for a replacement. Not that you melee types are good for much except as meat shields."

  "Watch it James, or us 'melee types' might just accidently sit on you." Answered the blonde sitting on the bed.

  "Don't bother, Ing," snickered the mage. "It's James. He'll just enjoy it."

  "OK, enough you guys! If we scare this guy off, it'll take Sveta ages to find another one." And walking towards Ed, he offered his large hand for Ed to shake. "I’m Kevin, group leader and ranged combat. The ladies on the bed are Ingrid, who is your fellow melee fighter and our main tank, and Lucy, our primary magic damage dealer. And over there is James, our healer. They might fight like children, but they can work together in a delve."

  "Good to meet you all. Err, did you say your previous melee got eaten?"

  "I'm afraid so. We got cocky in the second floor, and entered the third before we were ready. Ran into a colony of slimes, and with Lucy the only one who can deal magic damage… Let's just say that Chad managed to buy us enough time to get back to the door up."

  "Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that. He sounds like he was a good guy to delve with."

  "He was," answered Ingrid. "Might
have been a bit too much of a Chad for Luce and mine's comfort, but we could always depend on him in a fight."

  "Can we cut out the chit chat and get to delving already?" interrupted James. "I've got subscribers frothing at the mouth for a good delve, and we can't all rely on granddaddy's money."

  "For the gods' sake James, will you stop bringing up my grandfather? You know I haven't taken a single credit from my family since I started my reise. None of my fam…"

  "Will you two just knock. It. Off. Already?" shouted Kevin, moving to stand between the two blondes. "We won't be going anywhere if you two can't at least stay civil. Let's go over our specific Shards so we all know what we can do, and get ourselves to the Labyrinth. We'll all be less aggressive towards each other after a good delve. I'll start, and I've obviously got a Ram-kin Raceshard. I've also got my Impediment, which is Peacock's Pride, and a Sealed Lesser Pierce, which increases damage from my arrows and lets them ignore part of the target's armor. Lucy?"

  "I've got Flamedart, which should be self-explanatory, and my Impediment, which is Chromatic Sorcery."

  "Yeah, she shoots pink Firebolts at monsters. It's an embarrassment to good taste everywhere," interjected James. "I've got Cure Lesser Wounds, which I can use a lot more often than Pinky over there can shoot Firebolts, since I've got a Sorcerer Classshard instead of an Impediment like you lot."

  "Your face is enough of an Impediment anyway," Ingrid continued. "I've got a shieldbearer Classshard, and a shield bash Skill."

  "And that leaves you, Ed. What've you got for us?" asked Kevin.

  "Not much, I'm afraid. Got my Impediment, Phantasmal Worker, and I can summon a goblin with a spear. Haven't had a chance to test it in the Labyrinth yet, but it has decent stats."

  "Melee fighter with a summon, huh?" asked Lucy. "Interesting choice. Can't decide which way to go yet?"

  "I actually had my build planned in advance. Was going to get a Crushing Blow Skillshard, then after it Sealed I was going for a monk or peasant warrior type class. Spare me at least some cash on armor. Then I got the summon in my first delve, and you don't refuse a free Shard, you know?"

  "Can say that again. And summons are definitely good Shards to have early on."

  "Are we done here?" asked James. "Day's a-wasting."

  "Yeah, let's go before he turns into a pumpkin," added Ingrid.

  Picking up their weapons, the newly complete group left the room and went downstairs into the common room on their way out.

  "You lot good?" yelled Sveta from behind the bar.

  "We're good," answered Ingrid. "Thanks for the help."

  "All in a day's work girl. Say hi to Mad-Ved for me."

  "I'm not sure when I'll see him, but sure thing."

  And waving goodbye to the bartender, the group left the Drunken Pug.

  "Mad-Ved?" asked Ed in confusion.

  "Granddad has a thing for bad bear puns, and even more for bilingual bad bear puns. His name's Daved, and when Sveta first made that stupid joke, he said that he'd finally found his perfect name."

  "Hold it, your granddad is Daved Bjørnson?"

  "Yeah, Ingrid here is an honest-to-God princess," said James. "Don't you feel honored now?"

  "Shut up, James."

  ◆◆◆

  "Gooood morning, my lovely subscribers. Your wait has been agonizing and interminable, but you have reason to rejoice, for I, James Ozymandias Baker am B. A. C. K. back to show you the wonders and the terrors of the Labyrinth!

  As you no doubt remember from my previous stream, a rush and poorly planned decision by our fearless leader has lead our party to the third floor of the dungeon, where we lost one of our trusty meatshields. It has taken days to secure a replacement meatshield, and now our leader, true to his ovine nature, would timidly take us to the second floor. But fear not! Though once more in the slog that is the second floor, I shall nonetheless endeavor to enlighten your grey, boring lives with witty and insightful commentary into the workings of the delvers of the Labyrinth!"

  The group was making its way through the bazaar towards the stairway, with James ceaselessly talking into a wireless madonna connected to pair of cameras providing three dimensional video of everything he was looking at. Every now and then, he'd hold a mirror in front of the cameras, so everyone viewing his stream could see his boy-band perfect face.

  "Is he going to be like that all the time?" asked Ed after listening to minutes of James insulting his team mates and describing the bazaar.

  "He'll shut up in the Labyrinth when we need to worry about monsters hearing us, but other than that, yeah. All the damn time," answered Ingrid, who was walking next to Ed and trying unsuccessfully to talk about coordinating herself, Ed, and Ed's goblin into not getting in each other's way in melee combat. Unfortunately, between James's endless spiel and the noise in the bazaar itself, any in depth discussion was impossible. "And yeah, he's going to continue to belittle and insult the rest of us all through the delve. You and me especially. He's really contemptuous towards anyone in a melee position. And before you ask, we tolerate him because finding a decent healer is next to impossible at our levels. Just tune him out. We all do."

  Resigned to the endless chatter of their personal sports announcer, Ed followed Ingrid into the stairway to the Labyrinth.

  "Here we are dear subscribers, at the stairway to the Labyrinth! We'll wait here a little while our new meatshield summons a mini-meatshield to soak up even more of my precious mana. For those of you not in the know, summoning Shards are the most useless Shards in existence, ranking right there with the Impediments. But our newest meatshield, who by the way aspires to become a peasant warrior, of all things, wants to show us all that he can do more than just hit things with a stick. I have to say folks; this guy has at least the peasant part of his goal down pat!

  "And there you have it! One meatshield with a stick summons another meatshield, this one with, wait for it, a pointed stick! I feel more secure already!"

  Trying his best to ignore James’s endless chatter, Ed followed Ingrid up the stairs. The party ignored the door on the first landing they reached, which would lead to the first floor of the Labyrinth, and took a second flight of stairs, this one perpendicular to the first. The second landing only had one flight of stairs attached to it, marking it as the highest floor available to the party. The way up would only appear once everyone in the party had cleared the second floor at least once.

  True to his word, James stopped talking as soon as the party passed through the door into the second floor of the Labyrinth, finding themselves in a large cave.

  Glowing moss grew sporadically on the walls of the cave, providing enough light to see by. The cave was at least three meters high, and twenty meters wide. The door back up was set in the back wall of the cave, framed by more glowing moss, and the cave went for a hundred meters before suddenly narrowing down to a passage barely wide enough for one person. The entrance cave was empty, but distorted voices could be heard from the passageway.

  Kevin gave a hand signal to start moving forward, and Ingrid took the lead, shield ready and cudgel raised. Ed flanked her on her left, his phantasmal goblin taking the right side. Kevin and Lucy came next, Kevin with an arrow ready on his bow. James took the rear, catching everything on camera and ready to heal whoever needed it.

  When they got to the passageway, the group switched to moving single file, the summoned goblin in the lead, followed by Ingrid, Ed, Lucy, Kevin and James once again last.

  There were two goblins in the next room, apparently betting on a race between a pair of snails.

  As soon as Ed’s goblin cleared the way in, Ingrid rushed towards the left goblin, smashing its face with her shield and triggering Shield Bash to stun it. Leaving the stunned enemy behind, she moved towards the second goblin while Ed sent his goblin to attack from behind Ingrid’s back, and went himself to deal with the stunned monster.

  Ingrid had very little difficulty blocking her enemy’s attacks, and Ed’s goblin, taking adva
ntage of the reach afforded by his spear, struck between her legs and pierced the monster’s stomache.

  Ed, meanwhile, was doing a good job blocking his own enemy’s attacks, but the goblin was a lot more skilled than the ones he fought in the first floor, and kept him too busy to counterattack, but a few seconds after the exchange started, a small ball made of bright pink fire wooshed past his head, striking the goblin and killing it.

  After looting the two goblins, the party continued into the cave. There were two exits from the room where they fought the goblins, and Kevin decided to rearrange their order to protect them from surprise attacks from behind. Ingrid was still first in line, followed by Ed’s goblin, Lucy, Kevin and James, with Ed now guarding the rear. Lacking in any mapping skills, Kevin used the age old method of always taking the right turn to avoid getting lost.

  Single goblins roamed the passageways of the cave system, and whenever the passageway opened up into a larger room, a group of two or three goblins was waiting, often engaged in games of dice, cards or slug races.

  These goblins were stronger than the two Ed fought on the first floor of the Labyrinth. While most of them still carried simple wooden clubs, the party would occasionally face a goblin carrying a rusted dirk or spear, and they were clearly trained in using them.

  The single patrolling goblins were very easy for the party to take out. Ingrid could easily block attacks with her shield, leaving Ed’s goblin free to attack from behind her. Ingrid was large enough to prevent the ranged members of the party from attacking in the narrow passageways, but as long as the enemy couldn’t get past her, they would die before managing more than one or two glancing blows.

  When fighting pairs of goblins, Ingrid would tank one of them, and Ed’s goblin would take the other. Lucy and Kevin concentrated fire on the goblin attacking the summon, while Ingrid fought defensively, and after the first goblin was felled, Ed’s summon moved to attack the second goblin, which would fall soon after. Ed’s goblin always took some damage during those fights, but never more than James could heal with a single spell.