Nerdy Little Secret

by M. J. O'Shea

  “You know, it’s kind of impossible not to fall for you, Blair Fletcher,” he whispered.

  Blair grinned. “It’s pretty impossible not to fall for you too. This you. The real you.”

  It was important for him to say that, to make sure Sander knew he wasn’t getting in bed with the memory of the most popular boy in school. It wasn’t like that. Not really, not anymore. Blair reveled in Sander’s touch, in the gentle way he slicked up his fingers and got Blair ready for his body, the way they kept kissing through it, whispering to each other, moaning into each other’s mouths.

  “I’m good,” Blair finally muttered, an age of pleasure later. He’d nearly exploded from Sander’s fingers. He wanted more. “I need you.”

  Sander shook a little when he was putting the condom on. Blair didn’t know if it was nerves or lust. He liked to think it was a little bit of both. He was spinning himself, his body on edge, dying to be touched more.

  “Come here,” he said quietly, and parted his thighs for Sander’s hips.

  Sander lined up and pushed gently, just a bit at a time until he was all the way in. It had been a while—Blair felt the stretch—but it felt good. He raised his thighs to cup Sander’s hips. “You feel amazing. More.”

  Sander started to move then, slow strokes, long and languid, punctuated with more touches and kisses and whispers. It wasn’t hard or fast or rough. It was a gentle unravelling pleasure that felt like it could last for hours. Last for days.

  Blair ran his hands up and down Sander’s damp spine, concentrated on the thick weight of Sander inside him, how he rubbed against his prostate and the head of Blair’s cock with his slick belly. It really was perfect. Passion and lust and awe combined.

  His orgasm took him by surprise, boiling over quickly after ages of buildup. Blair shouted out and arched, letting the pleasure wash over him. He heard Sander’s shout as well, felt his arms tighten. For a minute, he nearly blacked out, but then his vision cleared and he was left spinning, Sander a deadweight over him.

  “WELL, THAT escalated quickly.” Blair flopped into a sated, happy pile on Sander’s bed. He groaned and stretched out so his palms were pushed against Sander’s headboard. They’d cleaned off briefly in the shower, but it was such an unseasonably warm night that his skin hadn’t quite dried.

  “Who exactly do you think started it?”

  “You, Mr. Naked Massage.”

  Sander grinned. “I don’t regret it. I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks. It took me so long to get up the nerve to kiss you.”

  “Weeks? Try since tenth grade. Oh, Jesus. I didn’t just admit that.”

  Sander leaned over and pressed a sweaty kiss onto Blair’s mouth. “If it makes you feel better, I probably would’ve thought about it back in school more if I’d have let myself. I knew I was into guys, into you. I just also knew I wasn’t gonna let myself do anything about it.”

  “We’ll just have to make up for lost time.”

  “You’re such a dork. Why do I kiss you?”

  “Because I’m a TV star?”

  “Nah. That’s got nothing to do with it.”

  “MORNING,” BLAIR murmured into Sander’s warm chest. He still couldn’t believe where he was. Who he was with.

  “It’s not morning. This is some sort of evil sorcery. It’s still dark out.” Sander rubbed a sleepy kiss into the crown of Blair’s head. Blair felt like floating.

  “I have to go to set soon. You’re off today, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah.”

  Blair sighed. “It sucks that our schedules don’t work out so we’re off together.”

  “I know. And it’s your big solo scene with Howie today too.”

  Blair snorted. “You make it sound like we’re filming porn together. God. Sex with Howie. Not the brain picture I wanted to wake up to.”

  “How ’bout sex with me?”

  Blair wriggled around until he was draped all the way over Sander. Sander had his louvered windows open, and the clean early-morning air washed over their bare skin. Blair hadn’t ever been so content. Or turned-on. He hadn’t quite gotten over the night before. He was sore and bruised in all sorts of delightful places, but all he wanted to do was go again. And again.

  “I think sex with you would be an amazing thing to wake up to.”

  Sander arched his hips and ground his cock against Blair’s hip. “How long until you have to leave?”

  Blair looked at the clock again. “I think I can be a few minutes late.”

  “A few minutes…,” Sander muttered, feigning offense, and then he rolled them over and tickled Blair until he was a giggling mess, squirming beneath him. “I think I can do better than a few minutes.”

  Chapter Nine

  “HEY, RYDER.”

  Kelly was sitting on the big deck that hung off the back of his parents’ place, practically right on the water. The sunset was gorgeous, the kind that only seemed to happen in the Keys. Ryder felt awkward. He hadn’t really talked to Kelly in weeks, and their last few conversations had been tense at best. He liked to act like he didn’t care. But he did. Kelly had to know it too. They’d been friends way too long to play dumb games forever.

  “Hey, Kells. You look relaxed.” He looked pretty, with the sun glinting off his blond hair, pink and blue with the sunset. Ryder could easily see what Mack saw in him. “How are things?”

  “Good. Weird. I don’t like not talking to you.”

  Ryder didn’t expect that. He thought he’d get a chilly reception. He deserved it after all the games he’d been playing since the start of the school year.

  “I don’t like not talking to you either. Can I sit?”

  Kelly gestured to one of the cushiony chairs next to him. Ryder dragged a bottle of nail polish out of his handbag. He’d never been good with keeping his hands still, especially when he was nervous. Kelly was making him nervous.

  “How’s, um, everything with Mack?” Ryder asked. He unscrewed the top of the bottle and concentrated on slicking bright blue polish down his pointer finger.

  “Mack’s good. But I don’t think you and I should be talking about him. That’s probably not the best way for our problems to end.”

  Ryder sighed. Truth time. “It wasn’t ever about Mack, Kells. You know that.”

  “I do?”

  He stopped painting and looked up at his oldest friend in the world. The only one who got to see this side of him, the side that cared about anything other than stirring up trouble. “Of course you do. I was losing you. To a guy. I didn’t like it.”

  “Are you serious?” Kelly stared, like that had been the last thing he expected to hear.

  “Yeah. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let myself get jealous. I just didn’t want us to drift apart because you were always with him, and….” Saying it out loud made it sound even dumber than it had in his head.

  “You didn’t want us to drift apart, so you started a war? You tried to steal Mack from me, Ryder. It didn’t work, but you tried.”

  “I don’t want Mack. I want my best friend back.”

  “Jesus. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Yes? Yes would work for me.”

  Kelly was quiet for a long time. “I like that nail polish color,” he finally said softly.

  “It’s called Electric Blue. It’s Dior.”

  “Of course it is.” Kelly chuckled. “You know, it’s nice to know that some things don’t change.”

  “It is nice when things don’t change. I really am sorry. I’m not going to cause any more problems.”

  Kelly actually laughed. His laugh was soft but genuine. “Let’s not go that far. I still want my best friend to be Ryder.”

  “Okay, I won’t cause any more problems for you. Does that sound better?”

  “Yeah. That’s more like it.”

  The two sat quietly on the deck watching the water for hours after that. They talked easily until it was so dark that without the usual porch lights it felt like they were floating into noth
ingness. Finally Ryder stood and gathered his things. He gave Kelly a tentative hug.

  “See you in school on Monday?”

  “Yeah. See you in school.”

  “I DON’T get it,” Howie sneered.

  This again. Yay. “Don’t get what?”

  “You.”

  Blair didn’t have the energy for more of Howie’s crap. It was Friday, and they’d had such a long week. Xara was considering pulling some of them in on Saturday to film a few scenes that hadn’t quite “gelled” according to her. She liked using that word. When she did, it usually meant more work. Blair really hoped he wouldn’t get that early-morning call.

  “Well, I’m sorry you don’t get me, but I didn’t really ask if you did, Howie. So if you don’t mind, I’d really like to get out of this costume and go home.”

  “I don’t get why you’re here.”

  Blair turned to walk away. To literally remove himself from Howie’s presence so he didn’t do what his tired brain wanted to do, which was clock Howie really hard. Really hard. Of course he probably couldn’t hit that hard. He’d never been the athletic type, and Howie most likely would bury him alive. But it was a thought.

  “I’m going to leave. I’ll see you Monday.” Blair walked a few steps before he noticed fucking Howie was still right next to him.

  “I’m serious. There are hotter guys out there, obviously, and they’d have been better for the role too. What did Xara want with you?”

  “I don’t know. But I honestly don’t want to talk to you about it. Especially not right now.”

  “I should’ve gotten your role.”

  “Did you want it?” That was the first Blair had heard of that. As far as he knew, Howie had been handpicked for the role of Kelly from the start. Kelly had been meant to be the center of the show. Blair sometimes felt like it was Howie’s own fault the focus had shifted more away from him by the week.

  “Who wouldn’t? Kelly is so boring. He kisses Mack and acts like the world’s biggest Pollyanna all the damn time. You get the good lines, and you can’t even deliver them the right way.”

  What an asshole. Blair had been doing a lot better with Ryder lately too, and the scene he and Howie had just finished had gone really well. “Listen, I didn’t know you wanted my part, but you didn’t get it, and nothing you do now is going to change that. Don’t you think it’s time to drop the attitude problem? Everyone’s sick of it.”

  “Actually, everyone’s sick of waiting around for you to get your scenes right.”

  That got Blair, right in his squishy insecure center. Maybe Howie was right, maybe he was slowing the whole thing down. But then why did Xara have Dakota and his team give him more scenes lately? Why weren’t they writing him out if he sucked so bad?

  “Possibly. But they’re also tired of cringing when they see you walk by. Tired of waiting for the nasty barb that’s probably coming their way.”

  “Like I’m lying….” Howie rolled his eyes.

  “You make the set uncomfortable. Maybe you should follow my Nana’s advice. Sometimes it’s better to be seen and not heard.”

  “Sometimes it’s better not to be a talentless hack, too.”

  “You know what? Fuck off. I’m tired of listening to you. If you have a problem with me, take it to the producers or to Xara. Leave me the hell alone.”

  Blair stopped suddenly and turned, got right into Howie’s face. Howie skidded to a stop right before he would’ve run into Blair.

  “What’s your problem?” Howie muttered. He looked pissed but a little less sure of himself.

  “If you have to ask that….” Blair had been about to let out a Ryder-style smackdown, but he thought better of it. “You know what? I’m not even wasting my time getting into it with you. Leave me alone. I only want to hear your voice when the camera is rolling.”

  Blair did walk away then, as quickly as he could without looking like he was running away. He was so tired of Howie’s shit that if Howie got closer again, he might do or say something really unprofessional. And that wasn’t him. It hadn’t ever been him, and he wasn’t going to let a dick like Howie goad him into being someone else.

  “That was awesome,” Sander whispered when Blair got to the door of the costume room that Sander had been repairing. “I wanted to come get in the middle of it, but I didn’t know what to say. Turns out you didn’t need my help.”

  “Thanks, babe.” Blair leaned over and gave Sander a soft kiss on the cheek.

  “You were great,” Jenna added on. She’d changed from her typical jeans and T-shirt into a floral dress and towering platforms. “I’ve thought a lot of those things over the past few months. I’m a little jealous, actually.”

  “I’m sure you are,” he said with a laugh.

  Then Blair thought of something. He worked with Jenna all the time. Brooke and Ryder were on screen together more than just about any other pairing of his. “Am I really that annoying to work with?”

  Jenna made a face. “No.” She put her arm around his shoulders. “It took you a while to get into Ryder. You know that, we all know that, but you’ve been doing so well with him lately that most of us forgot that you ever had a hard time.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Really. You’re adorable, and a really good actor. Xara wouldn’t have hired you if she didn’t think you had it.”

  “Thank you again. I think I needed to hear that.”

  BLAIR’S HANDS shook while he removed his costume for the day and put his street clothes back on. He’d never been good at confrontations, and while for most people that would’ve seemed like nothing, a huge part of him had been afraid of Howie since the day he walked onto the set. Apparently word got around quickly—hell he knew it did, shit flew through the set at lightning speed on a daily basis—and after he’d changed and was on his way out, he got quite a few empathetic looks, hands on his shoulder, sly grins. Blair had just done what pretty much every single person—actor, director, and everyone else—on the set of Coconut Cove had wanted to do for months. He wondered if it was the last time. A dick like Howie wasn’t likely to change his stripes because one person snapped at him. Blair could only hope.

  THE NEXT day when he rolled in, things felt… different. Blair typically wound his way around the sets quietly, below notice, unlike his counterpart Ryder, but people were looking at him. People who usually only gave him a polite professional smile grinned outright, from Lorelei, who whispered, “You were fantastic, sweetie,” all the way to Amy, the production assistant. Blair only hoped it wouldn’t bite him in the ass.

  “Morning, Bro.” Tony yawned around a huge breakfast sandwich.

  “Morning. You alive there?”

  “You missed a killer barbecue last night. I brought you breakfast.”

  He handed Blair a bag with a huge, greasy, beautiful breakfast sandwich and a latte.

  “Wow, thank you, man. This looks amazing.”

  “No problem, just don’t let Whitney see you with it.”

  “I won’t.”

  “What were the lovebirds up to last night that you had to miss the barbecue?”

  Blair blushed. It was so unnecessary, but his body didn’t seem to get that. “Um, we had stuff to do.”

  Tony elbowed him. “Right. Stuff.”

  “Nothing like… well, yeah. Just stuff.”

  Tony snorted his coffee. Blair had to get the attention off himself.

  “When are you going to tell me who this dude is that you’ve been lusting after?” Blair asked. He took a long, appreciative sip of his coffee. It was awesome when his friends were hungover and decided to share the wealth of coffee and covert egg sandwiches.

  “Uh, never. He flat-out turned me down. More than once. I’m tired of dealing with it, so there’s no more guy.”

  “It doesn’t exactly work that way.” Blair ruffled Tony’s hair.

  “What the fuck, dude? Quit ruffling my hair. I’m older than you.”

  Blair rolled his eyes. “You’ve gotten
awfully defensive all of a sudden. What’s up? Are you really not going to tell me about the guy you want? Does he work at the Booty?”

  Tony grinned. “If I tell you yes, will you leave me alone?”

  “No. ’Cause you’re lying. I’ve known you long enough to know that.”

  “How? I’m an actor.”

  “You know what?” Blair grinned. “I’ll drop it. For now. But don’t think this discussion is over.”

  “It’s over. Besides, I have to get to hair. They’ve gotta do my hair before I get it wet in the ocean.” Tony rolled his eyes.

  “Surfing day?”

  “Yeah. Good thing I still have the metabolism of a sixteen-year-old on crack.” Tony took another huge bite out of his breakfast sandwich before he tossed the last chunk in the garbage.

  “I hate you sometimes.”

  “No, you don’t. I brought you contraband.”

  Blair grinned as he headed off to wardrobe for his first change of the day.

  Chapter Ten

  HEY OUTTEEN-ERS! I’m Caroline Knight. We’re here at the fan meet and greet in Miami talking with the actors from our new favorite TV show. It’s been really busy here. We should’ve seen it coming, but we can’t believe the lines. It’s crazy! I bet all of you readers out there have been glued to your screens once a week like we have. It’s been nothing but drama, drama, drama. We’re halfway through the season, and we just wanted to catch up and see how our cast is doing. I don’t know about you, but the OutTeen magazine staffers are already starting to get early withdrawal! What will we do all summer omg?!?!?

  We have Ryder, Mack, Kelly, Joey, Robbie, Hudson, Brooke, and Charlotte here with us! Or, er, their real-life counterparts. I’m excited to hear what they have to say.

  Caroline: Any thoughts to begin with? You’ve just aired your eleventh episode. Halfway through season one, everyone!

  Blair Fletcher (Ryder): I can’t believe how much we’ve all been through together. Sometimes it feels like we just got started. It’s been so great getting to know the whole cast.