by Francis CoCo
We have gone back. We have gone back in time. That was the point- that was the reason for Max to go to Hualapai Mountain, so that we would time travel back to this encounter with the Light. Did we time travel? Or have we always been here? And our minds went somewhere else? Have we been here all along? Were the last nine months only a dream? Did they never even happen? Is this happening?
The three of us stand on the road. The Light is nowhere to be seen but, I can feel it. I feel it. I feel it. Above us, the sky is bright- lit up with a million tiny white stars. Suddenly, I see a shooting star- it streaks across the sky- shooting down- down in a straight line, quickly- and it’s gone. I think of what Max said, I remember him saying that we were like lightbulbs that kept the power on. He said that the Galaxy needs us- that when stars burn out or when you see a shooting star, that is because they need us, that without us, they burn out and die.
Angela grabs me, “Paige, Paige...” she says, her eyes wide, holding me by the shoulders. That’s all she says, my name over and over. Really, there’s no need to say anything more. I get it. It’s unspeakable. How strange, I think, to be looking at her today with long blonde hair when yesterday she was bald. Her arms are free of the tattoos that were there just yesterday. Her arms are as white as snow.
I start to cry. Really cry. Tears dripping from my chin. I can’t breathe.
“How can this be?” Max is saying to the sky above.
“Hey,” I say and laugh, “guess what? If it’s October 27th, then, Max, your mother is okay! The last nine months didn’t happen...”
Angela laughs, “Oh my God, I can’t… I can’t...” she grabs a strand of her hair and looks at it. She starts to laugh really loud. She laughs and holds onto her hair and looks up at the sky.
Max screams down the lone road, at the top of his lungs, “Thank you, Universe!” My mother isn’t dead! She’s at home! At her house! I can go see her! My cat’s not dead! We can start over! We can start over!”
We stand in the middle of the road and suddenly become quiet. We stand together on the road, in front of the car, in the same spot where the Light stood- nine months ago- or a few minutes ago- or an hour ago, or, maybe it never came at all. The Moon hangs above us- full and bright and close. The Moon is close. The Sun is close. The Earth is flat. We are the center of the Universe. There is a Creator and he created us. He created the light and he created the darkness. He made good and he made evil. And somehow, now, this makes sense to me.
We stand together in the middle of the road. In the place where our lives changed forever, nine months ago, which, now is not nine months ago, but is now. We stand, holding hands, looking down the empty road- looking up at the Moon, the sky.
Tears flowing.
Tears flowing.
I do not know what has happened. I do not know if the last nine months happened at all or if it was a place we went in our minds and we’ve, in fact, been here, in this exact spot, all along. But I know what I’m supposed to know. We know what we’re supposed to know.
I am not random. You are not random. All of this matters. Your life matters. There is for a reason for everything. You have a path in life. You did not happen by accident. We are all energy and when we burn out our energy we return to the Cosmos, to help the masses stay together. We matter to the Universe. We are a part of all of it- we help to keep it all going. That’s where we came from and that’s where we’ll return. But until then, until we get to that point, while we are still in our skin, we must live. We must live in the now because the now is all there is.
“Come on,” says Max turning and walking towards the car.
“Where are we going?” Angela says, smiling and turning to follow him as he makes his way to the drivers side door and opens it.
We get back in the car. Back to our respective places - Max and I in the front, Angela in the back. Max starts the car up- starts up the Contour, (the red Contour!) looks over at me, back at Angela and says, “I’m going to see my mother- I’m going to take away her car keys, never let her drive again...or, at least, make sure she doesn’t drive on April 21st of this year, I’m going to tell her I love her, I’m going to spend more time with her, with my brothers, with everyone.”
“Yes...” I say, looking over at him and smiling.
“Oh my God,” Angela says, “yes...”
“And Hef,” he says, “I love that cat- I’m going to give him the biggest hug.”
Max reaches over and takes my hand. Angela leans forward and puts her hand on ours. Normally, I would find this corny but it isn’t. Not today. Max slowly drives down Inferno Way. He gives a little laugh and then we all do. It’s not because anything is funny, more, it’s like a laugh of relief.
“And then?” I say, as we drive down Inferno Way for the last time (maybe even the first time).
“And then, in the morning, we’ll go to Dagwood’s and have breakfast.”
“Dagwood’s,” Angela says thoughtfully.
Dagwood’s. The restaurant that burned to the ground in May. But it is not May. It is October 27th and Dagwood’s exists.
We start to drive down the lone, dark road. Strangely, I feel normal. All of this feels normal. I look out over the cornfields as we make our way to the end of the road- to the small green sign that reads Inferno Way - to the place where our lives changed forever.
Max looks over at me and smiles.
He is about to pull out onto the main road. This is the end of our journey. This is the big finale. And what a finale it is.
“Time is a trick,” I say. And they both, in unison, agree with me, that it is.
There is no time.
There is only now.
The End.