by Sam Bailey
I could see someone running towards me from the corner of my eye and when I turned around it was Brooke with a massive smile on her face. Tommy was sound asleep in Craig’s arms, and my mother-in-law ran on without her wheelchair. It was like she was magically cured! We did take the mickey out of her something terrible afterwards. She has good days and bad days and she can’t stand for long, but somehow she managed to leg it on stage and give me a hug that day!
I was absolutely buzzing when I got off stage and I went straight off to do some interviews. It was after I’d finished them that I discovered the power of Twitter. I already had a Twitter account under the name Sammy Soprano, but I only had about 60 followers. I searched my name and so many comments came up saying things like ‘look out for her, she’s going to be the winner’. It freaked me out a bit to see the public talking about me. I was officially a little bit ‘known’.
I changed my name to Sam Bailey on Twitter and I got more followers that day as a result. I’ve now got over 350,000 followers, so I’m much more careful about what I say. I had to deactivate my Facebook account because people started taking private photos off it, and when that happened it was a whole new world. My life changed so quickly.
I was so chuffed that I’d gone through to Bootcamp, but there was one little problem. Every year on 2nd January I book a holiday for the family to go away, and I’d arranged for us all to go to Haven at Devon Cliffs with my mum. I’d paid for it all upfront and we were due to go in early August for a week. On the way home I turned to Craig and said, ‘Shit! Holiday! Bootcamp is the same week.’ I didn’t want to cancel it because the kids were really looking forward to it, so I told Craig that he’d have to go with my mum. You can imagine how well that went down.
Even though things were being leaked on the Internet, we had to keep the fact I’d got through to Bootcamp as quiet as possible, which meant the kids couldn’t even tell their friends. That was hard for them because they were so excited. And I won’t lie; it was quite hard for me too. I wanted to tell the world.
The other issue was work, because of course I had to tell my bosses I was through to Bootcamp. I had booked the week off because of the holiday anyway, but we had to talk about the ‘what ifs’. ‘What if’ I got through Bootcamp and had to go to Judges’ Houses? ‘What if’ I got into the live finals? The governor of the prison was really supportive and sweet about it all. I didn’t think he was going to turn around and say my job was on the line if I carried on in the show because he’s a really nice guy, but there was always a slight risk he would say that me being in the show was too disruptive when it came to the prison. He would have had every right to feel that way.
Bootcamp was looming and I had a lot of my mind. Once again, one of the main things being ‘What the hell am I going to wear?’ I still didn’t own many clothes and we were going to be there for six days. I borrowed some money from my friend Jo so I could go shopping and I took my sister-in-law Laura along with me so she could give me fashion advice. I really needed something decent to wear on stage. I knew that everyone would be upping their game. I bought some Ted Baker sandals, some linen trousers and a load of tops. River Island proved to be a bit of a goldmine for bits and I spoilt myself with a couple of tops from All Saints as well.
Bootcamp was held at Wembley Arena and we were all booked in to stay at the Premier Inn in Wembley Park. We pretty much took the hotel over. I went down to London a day early with a girl called Katy and a guy called Lee that I knew from the gigging circuit. They’d got through to Bootcamp too, and we went around London for a day of fun and then shared a hotel room that night. The rest of the contestants turned up the next day with their suitcases and the show filmed us walking down the concourse to the arena. There were hundreds of us and we had to walk up and down loads of times to get the best shot. It was knackering!
Just after we got back to the hotel I got a phone call from my Auntie Jo who told me that my nan didn’t have long to live. She had lung cancer, which I was very aware of, but she deteriorated really quickly. Jo told me she probably only had days left. I was very upset but I made the decision not to tell anyone else who was at Bootcamp. I didn’t want it to become a ‘story’. I didn’t want to be ‘Sam, who’s doing it for her nan’. It was a private situation.
We were given the information about who we were sharing rooms with and the same day found out who our mentors would be. We all had to stand outside and wait for the limos with the judges inside to pull up. I was praying I’d get Sharon, because I loved her from the minute I met her, or Gary, because he’s a real singers’ singer. The Girls’ category mentor was revealed first and we just saw this incredible leg emerge from the back of a car followed by Nicole. It was the Overs turn next, my group, and when I saw Sharon’s amazing heel step out of the car I burst into tears and went running towards her. You can see me sobbing on the footage. I hadn’t had a proper chance to meet her yet and I had so much respect for her. I was laughing and crying at the same time.
Next we were sent off to learn our group songs. I was put into a group with two women called Katie and Shelley, who appeared on the live finals. Shelley is this big bubble of loveliness that you can’t help but laugh at. She was full-on, but I thought she was great. We had a choice of three songs and we had to decide which one we liked most. We decided on ‘I’m Every Woman’ by Chaka Khan and I felt slightly sorry for Katie because she had a real Rod Stewart husk to her voice and so it wasn’t an easy one for her. I was worried we’d made the wrong choice on the song and I wanted Katie to feel comfortable, but she insisted we went ahead. We worked really hard and it helped to take my mind off my nan. The thought that she could potentially pass away that day was horrifying.
It was a really long day and we were all exhausted and ready for bed. The hotel bar was full of people partying, and all of the corridors were packed with others rehearsing. I just wanted to go to sleep but when we got into bed we discovered that our sheets were damp. My pyjamas were getting wet and it was really uncomfortable. We called reception and asked them to change them but, awfully, one of the other contestants had collapsed and an ambulance had been called so they were understandably manic. As a result it, took an hour and a half for someone to come and change our sheets, by which time I was practically falling asleep standing up. I was cold, damp and exhausted. By the time we finally climbed into bed I was so overtired I couldn’t sleep.
The following day I was beyond tired, but I had to pull myself together because we had a full-on day ahead. I had breakfast with Shelley; she’d been sharing with a slightly bonkers woman who had kept her awake until 3am, so she was feeling pretty rubbish too. Just before we performed Shelley started crying. She was worried that her voice wasn’t up to scratch because she was so shattered. When we got onto the stage Shelley told the judges that she hadn’t had any sleep. I kept quiet because I’ve never been to a concert where someone said they’re tired or their voice wasn’t feeling great. You just have to get on with it. I don’t think the people who were coming out with excuses did themselves any favours. I could easily have told the judges that we’d had a late night because of the bed sheets but I didn’t want to try and go for the sympathy vote. What I didn’t know was that one of my roommates had done exactly that earlier in the day. She’d told the judges that she was tired and that she’d been sharing with me, and it had been noted that I didn’t try and use our bed nightmare as an excuse.
We all really went for it but I thought I’d totally buggered things up. Sharon gave Katie and I a bit of a pep talk and said that the competition was dog eat dog and we were up against each other. I learnt a valid lesson that day. It may seem selfish but at the end of the day you’re there for you, so you have to concentrate on that.
Thankfully we did all get ‘yeses’, so we were through to the next round. What a relief. There were 12 of us in the Over-25s category, but there were only six seats on the stage. If you performed well you got to take a seat, but if there were more than six of you that h
ad nailed it the judges would start swapping people around and you could lose your place to go forward into the Judges’ Houses round.
I was going to sing ‘Take Another Little Piece of My Heart’ by Janis Joplin, but I changed it at the last minute and I sang ‘Clown’ by Emeli Sandé instead. It felt like a pertinent song to sing. All that was going through my head at Bootcamp was the fact that I had to tell my kids about my nan. I was happy because I’d taken them to see her pretty recently and she’d done an early Christmas for them because she knew her time was coming. But I felt like I was hiding behind a mask and putting a brave face on things.
The first couple of contestants who went out were told ‘no’, and then it was my turn. I could see the shiny, new white seats on the side of the stage and I really wanted to be sat on one. I started to sing but it was really tough because there were several times when I felt like I might break down. I was feeling wobbly and my bottom lip was going. I kept thinking about nan and the fact my family were away on holiday without me.
That performance felt like such a blur but I remember people going crazy and Sharon got very emotional and said that she’d dreamt of having a contestant like me. She pointed to the chairs and said to me, ‘Get your bottom over there missus!’ The Overs were the first category to try and win their places, which meant I was the first person ever in the history of The X Factor to sit in one of those seats; it felt pretty amazing. I had my hands over my face and people were shouting my name but I knew I wasn’t safe. There were still a lot more people who were going to perform and there certainly weren’t enough seats for everyone. As much as you want your fellow contestants to do well because you’ve bonded with them, the last thing you want is to lose your place to one of them.
We all had to fight our corners by telling the audience why we should be saved. I remember another girl called Katie Markham getting a seat, but because we’d both sung ‘Clown’ we kind of knew that one of us would be leaving because we were being compared a lot. When she was told she was going home she was sobbing her heart out and I felt awful. She was a lovely girl.
Eventually there ended up being just six of us on the seats and when I realised I was one of Sharon’s final line-up I couldn’t believe it. She came running onto the stage – we were through to Judges’ Houses! It was absolutely brilliant. The first thing I thought was ‘Where does Sharon live?’ and it hit me that we might be going to LA!
When I got back to my hotel room and charged up my phone there was a message from Craig telling me that my nan had passed away the day before. No one had wanted to tell me until after I’d finished my audition. I was expecting it but I was devastated. She was like the unofficial head of our family and I knew she would be very much missed. I totally understand the family’s decision not to tell me, especially in light of the fact that no one else involved in the competition knew about it. They had to do what they thought was right. My mum’s mum Rita is the only grandparent I’ve got left. She’s 83 and she’s in a home now but she’s still got all her faculties.
Now we were through to Judges’ Houses things started to get more serious. We were assigned solicitors and given contracts to read through. And I had to speak to my work about taking more time off. I couldn’t keep asking for weeks off here and there, so I went to see my boss and we decided a three-month career break would be best. It meant that I wasn’t being paid for that time, so it was a massive risk.
I was totally skint but I needed clothes for LA if that’s where we were going, because I had nothing suitable for somewhere so hot. All of the other contestants were looking more and more glamorous and I felt pretty out of my depth. Was I really capable of making it to the live shows?
CHAPTER 10
WHEN YOU BELIEVE
Craig and I had so much to sort out before I went away. We only had a couple of weeks to get organised and get visas for me, and it was still the kids’ summer holidays. Our family and friends were amazing and they really helped us out, but I was panicking about missing Craig, Brooke and Tommy.
It was supposed to be top secret where we were flying out to but we’d all kind of worked it out. Plus there were loads of websites reporting that we were going to LA, so I had a pretty good idea that my initial instincts had been right. We all met up at the airport – Lorna, Shelley, Joe, Zoe, Andrea and myself – and we got handed a gold envelope which had the name of the place we were flying to inside. When we opened it up it said ‘Los Angeles’. What a brilliant feeling.
The flight seemed to take forever but when we finally touched own in LA it was amazing. We were put up in a hotel on the Sunset Strip and got to work pretty much straight away rehearsing our song choices. We did some filming driving around Venice Beach in some open-top cars, and even though I was tired because we were so busy I was also completely hyperactive. I think the adrenalin kept me going. I remember not eating very much because I was filling myself up on milkshakes instead. I think the sugar probably helped to keep me buzzing.
The following day we all had afternoon tea in Sharon’s dining room at her incredible house. Caroline Flack and Matt Richardson were filming Xtra Factor and I got the chance to lie in the Osbourne’s garden and sunbathe. I’d taken Sharon’s autobiography for the journey and it was quite surreal reading it in her actual house. There was loads of chatter about who was going to be the guest mentor helping Sharon to decide on her final three. The crew rounded us up and Sharon walked over to us – we knew we were about to find out. ‘This is the most incredible performer and writer and you’ve got to deliver the best performance of your life. Are you ready?’ Sharon said. We all shouted ‘yes’ and then she told us to turn around on the count of three. I couldn’t wait to see who it was, and when I swung round and saw Robbie Williams you could have knocked me down with a feather. I’d always had a massive crush on him and now here he was standing in front of me. Only this time I hadn’t just collapsed at one of his concerts and been given a toy dummy – he was going to be judging my voice and, to a certain extent, determining my future. It was like I’d come full circle from being that star-struck teenager. Now I was a star-struck 36-year-old!
Robbie asked if we were ready to perform for him, and then he walked down and said hello and gave us all a hug. He was so nice and down to earth. He told us that if we didn’t ‘bring the goods’ he was going to chuck us in the swimming pool. I was so hot and bothered it probably would have done me some good.
Soon enough I found myself standing in front of Robbie and Mrs O and was about to start singing. I was really nervous because I wasn’t sure about my song choice, ‘I Have Nothing’ by Whitney Houston; I was worried it might seem a bit old-fashioned. I was thinking about Craig while I was singing it, but as I walked away I started crying because I really thought I’d really messed it up. As I found out later, Robbie kind of thought the same. He said to Sharon that he wasn’t sure where I’d fit in. Thank god I didn’t know that at the time. I would have been in such a state.
The next day, after one of the worst night’s sleep of my life, we all went back to Mrs O’s to hear the verdict. We had to wait in her dining room and then when it was our turn to go and see Sharon we had to walk to the top of the house to this veranda that had a little waterfall on it. Finally it was my turn to go and find out if I’d made it through to the live finals. I wanted to do it for my family so badly. I couldn’t bear the thought of having to go back and tell them I hadn’t made it.
Sharon asked how I thought I’d done the previous day and I was honest and said that I didn’t think it had gone brilliantly. She agreed and said that instead of moving forwards in a natural progression I’d gone backwards and she hadn’t seen my usual feistiness. I burst into tears. I was certain it was all over for me and I couldn’t stop crying. I was waiting for her to tell me I was going to home but then she said, ‘You’re going to stick with me and if you don’t win this contest I’m going to kick your arse!’ Oh my god!
We had a massive hug and then I ran off to see Dermot. I ju
st remember saying, ‘I want to celebrate with a cup of tea!’ and that’s exactly what I did. I had a nice brew and I relaxed and took it all in. Lorna came and sat with me in the garden and told me she’d got through, and I really was expecting Joe to be the third person to get onto the live shows. He was a real heartthrob and had a great voice, and he was singing for his little boy. When Shelley walked round the corner I was genuinely shocked. Not because I didn’t think she was good, because I really did, but because we’ve got quite similar singing styles. In fact, Lorna, Shelley and I were all quite similar. It was going to be an interesting time.
We didn’t get to see the contestants who didn’t make it through – Zoe, Joe or Andrea – that day because they’d been taken straight down to the beach to do some filming. I was desperate to give them all a hug. Lorna and Shelley wanted to go out and celebrate but I just wanted to go back to my hotel room and have some quiet time. It had been an incredible but stressful day. Needless to say, all I wanted to do was phone my family and tell them I was through to the Lives, but it all had to be kept top secret until we got back home. The researchers stayed in touch with all of our families and let them know we were okay, but we had to save the news for the ‘big reveal’.
It was soon time to head back to the UK and once we landed I was driven home where I knew everyone was waiting for me, desperate to hear the outcome. My living room was packed with about 25 of my friends and family (and, of course, a film crew). When I walked in everyone was staring at me expectantly and I couldn’t even smile in case I gave the game away. My kids wanted to give me a cuddle, but they had to be really good and sit patiently until I’d broken the news. I started off by telling them what Robbie had said and admitted I thought I’d ballsed it up. Then I paused and said, ‘But I’m through to the live shows!’ The whole place erupted. Everyone went absolutely crazy.