Indelible You (Imagine Ink)

by Verlene Landon

  “Besides, we won’t be in tents and bathing in a lake for crying out loud. His family has a handful of hunting lodges in the middle of nowhere. No phones or Internet, but he says the cabin is powered by a generator, so it’s not like I’ll be roughing it that much. I won’t have cell service out there, but there is allegedly spotty service within a 20 mile ATV ride. I’ll be out of communication, so if you need to ditch Sixx and Mars, then call Melanie, she said she can sneak them past her landlord if she has to.”

  “Sneak them past the landlord? You couldn’t sneak those massive beasts past a blind, deaf man even if he lost his sense of smell. I’m sure Melanie will love it the first time Sixx hops onto her white leather sofa and leaves five gallons of slobber before humping her leg incessantly. Factor in Mars’ taste for designer shoes and bags, and she’ll call the pound before you even reach the cabin. No worries sis, I can have Gus watch them if something comes up. She loves big dumb things. She must, she loves me enough to set me straight over and over again.”

  “Thanks Walker. I’m thrilled to have my little brother back.”

  “You’re welcome, and thanks for not giving up on me and for bringing Erika into my life.”

  “Well, enough touchy feely crap, I’ve got to head out. Lots of stuff to do to get ready for my big trip. I’ll drop my boys off soon.” Kissing him on the cheek, Tori turned to leave.

  At the door she added, “It was meant to be you know? You and Erika, I mean shit, you got it bad. Just look at your chest. She’ll forgive you, I’m sure she already has, she’s just waiting for you to come to your senses. Now that you have, you better bring our girl home soon. All that cold north air can’t be good for her skin.” Tori giggled and left.

  ***

  WALKER

  Walker wasn’t happy about Tori and The Dick, oops, Richard, but he now had a more liberal view of things he used to be rigid about, some things anyway. He seriously doubted Richard’s marriage was anything like Erika’s, but he was done trying to baby his big sister. He headed back to his bedroom and removed his jeans. Walker liked the idea of being nude while reading the folder Erika left for him now, knowing her delicate hands touched the papers, guided the pen that made the feminine flourishes in ink.

  Before reaching his bed and the papers, he was rock hard. He needed his woman in a bad way. Standing at the foot, he stared at the painting above the headboard, the one of Erika in the throes of passion, underneath him and writhing in pleasure, hot and sweaty and sweet as honey. Before he realized what was he was doing, he had his erection in hand and was pumping furiously. Erika’s moaned name echoing through the house over and over.

  Reaching his other hand under to cup his balls, he gave a gentle squeeze, and that was all it took. Walker pumped hard, thrusting his hips forward and shouting her name, as he came all over the foot of his bed.

  Several minutes passed before he took his hand off his softening cock or his eyes off the painting. Panic seized him then, the thought of this being his life was terrifying. If she couldn’t forgive him, he knew it would be.

  Sure, he could eventually find someone that made him moderately happy and could start a family, but how long would that last once he refused to take down the painting? Or when she caught him jacking it and calling another woman’s name. Shit, he wasn’t sure he could even make a family with anyone else, much less raise one.

  No matter what he told Tori, the truth was, yes, he could move on with his life without Erika, he just couldn’t move on with another woman. He would forever be alone, no kids, no anniversary, just loneliness. This was a secret he would take to his grave, however. No way in hell would he let anyone know that without Erika, he would be a shell of himself, and celibate. If anyone even thought it, someone would tell her and she would come to him out of guilt.

  Over the last several months, there were many selfish moments when he wished someone had told Erika how low he’d sank. To hurt her, maybe to bring her crawling back, maybe both. Clearer heads prevailed and he was grateful now it hadn’t happened. Having her out of some twisted sense of obligation or guilt would be almost as bad as living his live without her.

  No, he would have Erika back, but because he made her want to be with him, no other way. Walker would rather take his own life than ruin hers. Time to devise a sure-fire plan to win her back.

  First things first, he needed to check out everything in the folder, then enlist Andy as his wingman.

  After cleaning up his solo session, he returned to the bed and went through the rest of the papers. Andy and Erika’s marriage certificate didn’t cause the pain he expected. Maybe because of the fact Andy was the family she never had, and that piece of paper proved it. According to his letter, Andy felt guilty for marrying Erika, thought he did it for all the wrong reasons. Walker saw it different. Sure, there were selfish aspects, but shit, we’re all human. There are selfish aspects to everything everyone does, and anyone who says otherwise is a fucking delusional liar.

  It was crystal clear Andy and Erika loved each other on a level most people would give their left nut to experience. Walker would see to it Erika understood he was more than okay with Andy as a major part of their lives, Marco too. However, the signed divorce papers, which he held a copy of, would need to be filed immediately. The title and honor of husband would belong to him.

  The rest of the papers were legal documents and agreements. The two things that mattered most were the two handwritten letters, one from Andy to Erika and one from Erika to him. Walker must’ve reread those 20 times each. On the last pass though, he stumbled on Andy’s words. He had kissed Erika’s more than once, and held the letter to his chest. It was her handwriting on that page which was the final push to self-acceptance.

  But, Andy’s words eventually penetrated a part of his brain that they hadn’t previously invaded. Erika had loved him from the start. Not just in her heart, not just her telling Walker after the fact, but openly she admitted to her love of him to another. That’s a hell of a lot more than he’d done. She fucking loved him and told Andy about it. Her letter said as much, about loving him from the start, but there was still a microscopic part of him afraid she was just trying to make him feel better about what happened so he wouldn’t crash and burn. This, this was different, unless Andy was in on it and lied in a personal letter, Erika fucking loved him from day one.

  That knowledge was drugging. He knew the perfect approach was needed to win back…his life, and she was his life. After going through every document in the folder, he placed them in the bedside table and grabbed his phone.

  WALKER: I want her back - I love the shit out of her & I want her back - not sure how to do it - but I’m hoping you’ll help me ;-)

  He didn’t get an immediate reply, so he continued.

  WALKER: I need time - the right approach - get things in order here - was thinking w/your help I can come to ND in a month or so and win her heart

  Still no response.

  WALKER: I haven’t thanked you yet so thanks - I know you love each other very much - I would never try to change that or keep you apart - but I want to marry her and start a family of our own someday - so I ask this in the nicest possible way - will you file those papers ASAP?

  Walker realized, the longer Andy took to respond, the more of a rambling text idiot he became. Pretty soon he was going to start bromancing on Andy. He placed the phone on the nightstand and folded his arms over his chest, refusing to touch it again until he heard Dio.

  Finally.

  Snatching the phone up like an addict, he swiped the screen.

  ***

  ANDY

  Andy was reading the first text from Walker when the second came. He was glad he hadn’t responded right away, because the second threw him for a loop.

  A month or so? Did he not realize just how pregnant she was?

  Andy was still chewing on that when the third text came.

  SOMEDAY? What the fuck?

  Erika said she put her ultrasound picture in his
folder. Andy had been fascinated with it himself and studied it intensely for hours. Hell, there was a framed enlarged copy in the living room. It had name, date, and gestation clearly printed at the top. Something wasn’t right, or Walker was a clueless dick and Andy didn’t believe that.

  Andy waited ten minutes after the last text to see if any more were on the way. Once he was convinced that was it, he replied in the best way he could. If Walker wasn’t ready to acknowledge the baby, he wasn’t about to throw it in his face, and if Erika changed her mind, it wasn’t his place to tell him, but something was up.

  ANDY: Did you read the folder?

  WALKER: Yes???

  ANDY: All of it?

  WALKER: Every last word – more than once & I have to thank you - your letter to Erika means more to me than I can express - I’m not one for words - but know that I understand

  Ooookaaaay, Andy thought. So Walker isn’t a clueless dick, Andy knew what he “understood” and it was something that had been troubling him, so there was relief there. However, the tension was still making Andy uneasy.

  Why was he not mentioning the baby or asking how Erika was doing? It was very strange.

  He knew the answer, Erika showed it all to him prior and told him about the picture when she returned, but he asked the question all the same.

  ANDY: Just out of curiosity, what exactly was in the folder?

  WALKER: Your letter - A letter Erika wrote to me - marriage cert – legal crap & divorce papers - which you will file soon right?????

  ANDY: I will do you one better, I have annulment papers ready to go, but I still plan on leaving Erika’s name on our property and finances. Is that okay with you?

  WALKER: I appreciate it man - but I can take care of her

  ANDY: It’s not about taking care of her, I know you got it covered, hell, she has it covered, but it’s about not erasing our connection, you understand? She may not need it as much as she once did, but I do.

  WALKER: Say no more-got it-yes-I’m ok with that

  Overwhelming relief engulfed Andy’s entire being. That was the initial reason he went with divorce. Knowing it would forever be that they were once married, family. Prudence won out though, and he retrieved the annulment papers they signed when they got married, part of the original arrangement.

  He wanted Erika to start with a clean slate with Walker. He could give her that by erasing their marriage, so this could be like her first, since it would be her first real marriage, but Andy couldn’t bring himself to erase everything. He wanted, needed, a connection to remain. Erika never took his name, so they listed her separately on all joint properties and monies, which would still be hers even with an annulment.

  Connected.

  ANDY: So, nothing else in the folder, just those things?

  WALKER: ???

  Yes - what else would there be?

  ANDY: IDK, I thought Erika mentioned putting in a picture or something else the day she dropped it off.

  WALKER: Nope nothing - besides I don’t need anything else as long as I have her

  Hmmm, so either the picture was removed, by accident or design, before Walker got the folder or…

  Did Erika chicken out?

  If that’s the case, did she not want Walker to know about the baby at all? That’s a slippery slope. Only one way to find out. Good thing he had the source right down the hall.

  ANDY: Never mind. I must have misunderstood. Are you going to call her?

  WALKER: Yes - when my emotions calm & I have the words – I’m also kinda scared – but I’ll get it worked out - thanks man - for pushing me to read & for being there for Erika through everything

  There were four words in that text that grabbed Andy by the heart. I’m also kinda scared. Walker wasn’t the type to expose a weak vulnerable moment like that to just anybody. Andy took it for the compliment and affirmation it was.

  ANDY: YW for the push, and I would do anything for Erika…and you. Text/call anytime if you need anything. Later.

  WALKER: Will do - later

  ***

  WALKER

  Walker got the feeling he was missing something, but he was damned if he had a clue what it could be.

  Could Erika not want anything to do with him? Andy would definitely be privy to that bit of info.

  No, no, Andy wouldn’t encourage him if that were the case. Doubt was nipping at his heels, but he quickly kicked it away. Andy was honestly a decent guy, for a suit, no way would he set him up like that.

  Besides, he could feel it in his bones, feel her. She was hurting, yes, but she loved him. That beautiful night in her truck would’ve never happened if she didn’t. That was all the “proof” he needed. Erika’s heart was his, she gave it to him that night, hell, long before that. She’d just lost trust in his ability to keep it safe, and whole, and rightfully so. But, he wanted the job back, caretaker of her heart. Erika would be his again, and forever, she would entrust her heart into his keeping permanently, and without doubt, and Walker would take the best damn care of it a man could.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  ANDY

  Stopping in front of Erika’s door, Andy drew a steadying breath and knocked. After his text conversation with Walker, he realized it was time. Erika was the strongest woman he knew, but after that night, she had lost something essential to her strength. Misplaced really, not lost.

  The kickass hellion that burst into the woods that day and saved his ass all those years ago was still there somewhere, she just needed the proper motivation to connect with her.

  With Marco’s help, Andy realized she was using him as a crutch. Now, he had to do something she would hate him for, temporarily anyway. The ends justify the means, he kept chanting in his head.

  “Come in,” Erika’s disembodied voice floated through the air. The scent of sandalwood and leather met his nose as he opened the door just as he knew it would. Every day at the same time, she took a bath, a Walker-scented bath. She’d told him she wanted her daughter to know at least that of her father. Erika was convinced there would never be a Walker and her, convinced he’d either walk away from his own kid, or take her to court and fight.

  Andy believed, somewhere deep down in her heart she knew better. Walker wasn’t like that, he couldn’t be or Erika would have never wasted her love on him. However, heartbreak and hormones can do crazy things to a person, as evidenced by the blubbering stew he found as he entered the bathroom.

  Erika reclined in the tub with just the top of her belly and head sticking above the pristine bubbles.

  He planned it perfectly, captive audience in a vulnerable position. He could be an asshole when he needed to be and he knew the best time to press the advantage. He had to push the baby bird from the nest, so to speak. Andy needed to take all options away from Erika, except relying on herself or Walker. Erika would either pull herself out of the funk, or she’d allow Walker to help her. Andy was about to effectively close off all other avenues.

  Marco begrudgingly agreed to the “underhanded tactics” as he called them, but was on board whole heartedly with the goal and the means to achieve it. Regardless of their feelings, it was the right thing to do, but that didn’t make it easier. Andy’s gaze swept her bulging belly just as a pointy baby part made itself known. That sight never failed to put a lump in his throat and make his heart stutter. He couldn’t wait until he and Marco would finally be parents, that is, if Erika forgave them enough and Walker allowed it.

  Meeting her eyes, Andy simply stared into them for what seemed like forever. Remnants of the tears she’d obviously been shedding, yet again, red ringed the amber flecked green that made up her unique hazel color. As much as the evidence of her hurt made him not want to add to her pain, it also spurred him on, ensuring him this was the right course of action, no matter how wrong it felt. First, he needed to plant some seeds and sow some information.

  “Erika honey, how are you feeling?”

  “How do you think I’m feeling? I have a beautiful child
growing inside me who is apparently the size of a teenager judging by my whale-like appearance. That adolescent-sized baby will soon want to rip her way out of my body.” Erika started rubbing her belly in circles, spreading bubbles over the top. “Not to mention she craves the strangest things. Oh, and she has a father who she may never know because I made him hate me too much to even be in my presence.”

  Andy noticed she said the last at a mere whisper so the baby wouldn’t hear. He schooled his features so as not to smirk. It would piss her off to no end if he reacted to the way she never let the baby hear anything negative about Walker.

  Hell, even when Erika cried, she would babble random reasons to her belly for her tears. None of which involved Walker. Erika was going to be an amazing mother, she just needed to pull herself up by her boot straps and go after what she wanted, and Andy had just the tool to make that happen.

  “Now, now Cinderika, she will not rip her way out of your body for crying out loud. And you are not whale-like,” not able to resist a tease, Andy added, “dolphin-like maybe, but not whale.” When Erika snorted and laughed so did he. Laugh not snort. It was the first laugh they shared in, he couldn’t remember how long, but it felt wonderful.

  “Oh my God, you’re such as ass,” Erika said with a lightness.

  Dropping to the floor next to the tub, Andy placed his burden on the bathmat and brought his hand to her belly. Leaning his chin on his arm folded on the edge of the tub, he used his free hand to lovingly rub the island of baby. His words were meant for Erika even though he addressed them to her stomach.