2 The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing
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True Hollywood Lies
[Diversion Books]
“The writing is laced with venomous humor...”–The Wall Street Journal
“Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomaniac...[A] well-paced, entertaining story.” –Publishers Weekly
“A fine piece of literary work.” –New York Post, Page Six
“Josie Brown does an outstanding job capturing the glitz and glamour of Hollywood living yet illuminating the stark loneliness present beneath the façade. Filled with good-natured humor and witty repartee...” –Romance Reader’s Connection
“Before you check out the stars walking the red carpet at next Sunday’s Oscars, spend time with True Hollywood Lies. Josie Brown’s new satirical novel is about an irritating actor nominated for an Academy Award, his harried personal assistant and all the angst endured from the moment the nominations are announced until the winning name is read out loud. Brown, a journalist with her share of celeb interviews, drops names a-plenty.” –Lowell (MA) Press
“With tongue-in-cheek dialogue, True Hollywood Lies provides a fascinating look at the jet set lifestyle of the rich and for-the-moment famous.... You will laugh, cry, and wonder if it’s worth it to be rich and famous.” –Romance Reviews Today
Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
[Simon & Schuster]
“If you like Desperate Housewives, then you’ll fly through this gossipy novel full of Wisteria Lane-esque characters living in a suburban jungle. Lyssa Harper, a stay-at-home-mom living in California’s posh Paradise Heights community, befriends the neighborhood DILF (Dad I’d like to...) after his wife leaves him. Suddenly their friendship has Lyssa’s catty “momtourage” talking, her place on the women’s league board in jeopardy and her own marriage seriously in question. Brown entertains up to the satisfying ending in this lively novel. – Examiner.com
“Just in time for summer, Brown’s novel offers an enjoyable take on suburban California family life, complete with mommy cliques, rebel teenagers, and, of course lots of adultery....The momentum of Brown’s writing and plot keeps the pages turning.” – Booklist
“Already touted as the perfect summer beach read, this character driven (sometimes steamy) book can best be described as the offspring of an affair between Desperate Housewives and a Jennifer Weiner novel....A quick look into the sometimes catty world of wealth where priorities get shifted, friendships get broken and marriages, like their mansions, get rearranged. It was light and fluffy (with some excellent dialogue.)...This coven spread gossip like wild fire, fight like verbal wrestlers and plot like army generals to put together the very confused puzzle of Harry’s love life.” –GoodHousekeeping.com
Impossibly Tongue-Tied
[HarperCollins / Signal Press]
“Brad, Angelina, Britney and Kevin may want to check out Josie Brown’s new novel, Impossibly Tongue-Tied, for its ripped-from-the-headlines plot that mixes their scandals together...”
– PAGE SIX, New York Post
“Josie Brown gives us another page-turning guilty pleasure.” – Marin Magazine
Here’s What Other Authors Say about Josie Brown…
“Josie Brown writes with all the secrets, sex and scandal of a tabloid magazine. Truly entertaining reading! – Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives
“Hollywood’s got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue makes for truly entertaining reading.” —Jackie Collins, bestselling author of Hollywood Wives and Poor Little Bitch Girl
“Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heart wrenching pathos. I’m recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!”—Lisa Rinna, actress, and author of the novel, Starlit
“Brown proves that a story with suburban bodies can be just as suspenseful as one with dead bodies! Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives is a probing, entertaining fishbowl of married life in a well-heeled, wayward neighborhood. Loved it!” –Stephanie Bond, author of Body Movers series
“The Baby Planner is as a delight. I wondered, as I was reading it, how I every managed without a baby planner, and by the end I wondered how I ever managed without its author, Josie Brown.” —Eileen Goudge, New York Times bestselling author of Once in a Blue Moon
“Josie Brown’s writing is whip-smart as well as wickedly funny, and just as you are enjoying the ride she takes you on, she shatters your heart with her insight into modern lives.”
—Tatjana Soli, New York Times bestselling author of The Lotus Eaters and The Forgetting Tree
“I loved this juicy-as-it-it-is-heartfelt novel about love, marriage, friendship and sharp, manicured claws. Could not put it down!”—Melissa Senate, author, The Secret of Joy
“Poignant and funny! Josie Brown’s protagonist is strong, resilient, and unflinchingly honest: she has all the skills she needs to navigate the ‘mean streets’ of the gated community of Paradise Heights. A great read!” —Wendy Wax, author, Magnolia Wednesdays
Table of Contents
The Housewife Assassin’s Guide to Gracious KillingA Novel byJosie Brown
Chapter 1 Breaking Bad Hostessing Habits
Chapter 2 The Art of Gracious Lying
Chapter 3 Welcoming New Neighbors
Chapter 4 How to Choose a Party Dress
Chapter 5 Such Gracious Condescension
Chapter 6 How to Make a Formal Introduction
Chapter 7 Dealing with Awkward Moments
Chapter 8 How to Keep a Sleepover from Being a Yawn
Chapter 9 Dealing with a Party Crasher
Chapter 10 How to be the Perfect Guest
Chapter 11 When the Party’s Over
Chapter 12 How to Treat Your Guest of Honor
Chapter 13 Tea for Two
Chapter 14 Going Back for Seconds
Chapter 15 Seating Arrangements
Chapter 16 When the Wrong Partners Fill Your Dance Card
Chapter 17 Cocktails before Dinner
Chapter 18 Killing the Life of any Party
Chapter 19 Just Desserts
Chapter 20 Cleaning Your Silver
Chapter 21 Airplane Etiquette
Chapter 22 Saying Good-bye to Your Hostess
Chapter 23 How to Have a Beach’ing Par-TAY!
Chapter 24 Funeral Attire
Next up:
Other Novels by Josie Brown
Here’s What Other Authors Say about Josie Brown…