Fix Me

by A. Aubry

  “Shit…Finn…” I bit down on my bottom lip, trying not to scream.

  “That’s right, Julianna. Say my name.”

  Oh fuck. This orgasm was gonna be coming quick. It had been waiting to release for days, it had been begging for Finn’s expert touch. My hands pressed hard against his back, feeling every muscle underneath my palms. Just as a small wave from the water around us ran past, the large wave of pleasure soared through my body and I cried out his name into his chest. As I rode out my orgasm, my nails digging into Finn’s back, he continued to circle my clit until my orgasm finally released me.

  I could feel his cock hard against me, begging to be released from his swim trunks. Now his body wanted to come out and play. My hand lazily fell into the water, coming to the front as I rubbed his hard cock through his swim trunks.

  “I think it’s someone else’s turn to have a release,” I panted, looking up at Finn who straightened up as soon as my hand made contact.

  “Fuck…why does it feel like I haven’t felt your hand around me in weeks?” He stared down at me in wonder.

  “Three days can feel like a long time when you are used to having sex at least once a day. I would know, you just made me come just by teasing me.”

  Finn lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist as he moved deeper into the water.

  “What are you doing, Finn? You know I can’t touch the ground enough where we were…”

  He squeezed my ass as he carried me, the water slowly rising up to his chest, “I know, that’s why I’m holding you up. I don’t want to come into my swim trunks, I want to come in you.”

  Finn and I had been starting the discussion of when I should stop taking my birth control. He recommended right away, but while he was sleeping the first night of our trip after we talked about it, Google searches scared the shit out of me to just stop taking it. When I called my doctor the next day, he said it was okay to stop taking it whenever I chose to but just to be aware of some side effects like bleeding and other things you may expect.

  When I woke up this morning to get my daily vitamins from my bag, I had realized that the last two nights I had ended up falling asleep from exhaustion and had forgotten to take my pills. Oh well, I told myself, guess I’ll just stop taking them now. I hadn’t exactly told Finn about my forgetfulness yet. No time like the present, right?

  “I should probably tell you this now then. I forgot to take my pill the last few nights because we fell asleep watching TV,” I chewed on my lip as I waited for his reaction. Why was I so nervous about this?

  Finn’s smile widened, “Then let’s make a baby.”

  My mouth fell open as he pushed the bottom of my bikini to the side and untied his swim trunks with one hand. I wrapped my arms instinctively around his neck as he pulled out his cock and pushed it into me.

  “God, yes,” I groaned at the fullness that I had missed so much over the last few days.

  “Damn, I have missed this,” Finn admitted as he thrust into me.

  My chest pressed against his as he discreetly thrusted his hips into me over and over. I wasn’t sure why the idea of making a baby with Finn was such a turn on. It wasn’t like I couldn’t have gotten pregnant any other time we had sex, the pill wasn’t totally effective sometimes after all. But just to hear the words come out of his mouth kicked my sex drive into high gear.

  “Harder, Finn,” I demanded as I kissed his lips to hide my moans.

  “With pleasure,” he responded, slamming into me over and over.

  I could feel my eyes roll back into my head even with them being shut. Every time with Finn was more perfect than the last. Hearing his groans against my lips was what pushed me to jump into my orgasm, his following close behind with a few hard thrusts. My body went limp in his arms as bliss washed over me from head to toe. The smile on my man’s face made me grin, he looked so happy and sated. As though he had been craving this intimacy for days and just realized it.

  “I love you,” I smiled as I ran a hand through his hair.

  “I love you more,” he grinned as he brushed his lips against mine.

  That had been the most recent thing of mine and Finn’s do to. Always end with I love you more. Sometimes it would lead to a playful argument of ‘no, I love you more’. You know, those ones that make everyone around you roll their eyes in disgust because you two were just so sickeningly cute. I was choosing to let him win today, he deserved it after all the work I made him do in the ocean.

  Finn adjusted himself back into his swim trunks as I replaced my bottoms into their normal state. He carried me until I could touch the ground and we walked back to where our friends sat. It was about time to get ready to head out on the town separately, but I didn’t want to leave him after that.

  Bo teasingly clapped after we rejoined them at our four loungers and wrapped ourselves in towels. Angie smacked him with the book she was reading.

  “Great show guys, I was thinking we were gonna get an encore,” Bo laughed as he dodged another whack from Angie.

  Finn wrapped an arm around me, “I can’t help it that my wife wants me all the time.”

  I playfully hit his chest, “Finn Walker, what have I told you about thinking before you speak?”

  “Oh, he definitely thought that one through,” Bo chuckled, standing up from his lounger and offering his hand to Angie who happily took it.

  “Let’s get ready to hit the town, Jules,” Angie said, letting go of Bo’s hand and linking her arm with mine.

  I stepped out of Finn’s hold and flipped my hair over my shoulder, “Yes, let’s. Who needs men anyways?”

  “Hey!” Finn whined, smacking my ass as I walked away.

  I looked back at Finn and winked. He knew I needed him, but tonight was a girls night. No men allowed.

  The bass thumped loudly in the bar that Angie and I had finally ended up at after trying out a few others. Unfortunately, it wasn’t ladies night at the bar that we had chosen, one called Purdy Lounge, but the vibe was better along with the music. I took a sip of my second daquiri that I had ordered as Angie and I gossiped about work and she talked to me about Bo. My phone vibrated on the table. Finn and Bo were out, checking out some other bars that were around. They needed to have some guy time, just like Angie and I needed this girl time. I picked up my phone and smiled at the most recent text from Finn.

  Finn: I hope you aren’t forgetting how beautiful you look tonight.

  Me: How can I forget when I have a wonderful man like you to remind me?

  Finn: I love to remind you. Almost as much as I love you.

  Me: I love you more, sweetheart. Wish you were here.

  Finn: Me too. But remember, I’m never far away.

  I blushed at his words. It was true that the bars he was looking at with Bo were only about fifteen minutes away, but that felt like an eternity at that moment. My gaze fell down to the spaghetti strap corseted lace dress that I had bought on a whim while we were shopping on Monday. The red against my tan skin looked like it was the most natural color for me to wear. My eyes closed, and I could feel Finn’s hands run over the fabric all over again.

  The music playlist on my cellphone softly played as I stood in front of the mirror in our room, gazing at my reflection. My dark brown hair fell over my shoulders in long waves, the sides braided like a crowd around my head, tied together in the back with a rubber band. The red of my lips matched my dress, my other makeup kept as natural as I could manage with my newfound tan.

  The door to the bathroom opened and Finn strode out, stopping in his tracks as he took in my appearance. His khaki pants helped his white button up shirt laid back.

  “Does this look okay?” I asked, holding out the skirt of my dress with a hand a little.

  “Baby, you look gorgeous,” he grinned as he continued walking towards me.

  I turned back to the mirror, “Are you sure the makeup isn’t too much?”

  Finn came up behind me, his arms coming around my sides as his hands splay
ed out over the torso of my dress and looked at our reflection, “I think it looks perfect.”

  As if on cue, our song by Ed Sheeran, Perfect, began to play on my phone. I smiled at the irony of the song choosing now to play. The chorus drifted around us as I watched my husband look at me in the mirror. That was when I realized he was humming along to the chorus before he quietly sang the final line of the chorus.

  “Darling, you look perfect tonight.”

  I had only heard Finn sing a few times in our two-month long relationship, but he could actually sing pretty well. It shouldn’t surprise me, his high school required that he take a music or art class for at least one year. Finn, just like myself, was terrible at art. So he had been in choir, same as me.

  His hand took mine and spun me around as the second verse picked up and he guided me to dance around the small space in our room. The skirt of my dress twirled perfectly as he spun me to the song, dipping me occasionally. Every time the chorus would play, he would sing along for me.

  The song slowly came to an end, Finn’s voice carrying the final line ‘You look perfect tonight’ into my ear as he held me close against him, my arms around his neck.

  “You are perfect, Finn,” I whispered, finally looking at him and gazing into his eyes.

  “What happened to my sassy comeback girl?” He quietly teased as he dragged the backs of his fingers against my cheek.

  “She’s always close by, but right now…she’s letting me have this moment.”

  “Good, but you deserve these moments all the time.”

  “And I do have them all the time, because I have you.”

  He smiled, my favorite boyish grin, before he brought his lips to mine. Damn, was I a lucky girl or what?

  “You two aren’t having another ‘I love you’ fight, are you?” Angie rolled her eyes as she took a sip of her drink.

  “Nope, not this time. Just thinking about him though, he makes me so happy,” I smiled at my best friend.

  “I can see that. You will still owe me because you got married when you said I could be your maid of honor,” she playfully scowled at me.

  Giggling, I ordered another daiquiri, “Don’t worry. I’ll make it up to you.”

  The sound of what I believed was a car crash happened outside the bar. The music stopped as everyone looked towards the door.

  “Call 9-1-1! There’s been an accident!” Someone pushed through the door of the bar in a panic and screamed.

  Angie and I looked at each other. We quickly put cash down on the bar and grabbed our bags as the bartender picked up the phone and started calling for help. It was the journalist in us that pushed us to go see what was happening. A crowd was forming rapidly but all I could see was a single car stopped in the middle of the road, did the other car drive off?

  “He’s not conscious!” Someone screamed.

  I elbowed my way through the crowd with Angie close behind me. When I made it on the street, my heart leapt into my throat. There was my husband, lying on the ground. His eyes were closed, he was already bruising, and blood was coming from his body.

  “Finn?” I asked loudly…maybe if I said it loud enough, he would wake up. Maybe this was just one of his terrible pranks that he liked to play.

  Bo looked up from beside him, “Julianna! Angie!”

  Angie pushed past me to join Bo on the ground, asking what happened as she checked for a pulse. I just stood there, unable to believe that this was really happening. He couldn’t have been taken from me like this. We just fucking got married. We were going to start a family.

  “He’s got a pulse!” Angie called back to me as the sirens of the ambulance started from down the street.

  Somehow, my feet carried me to Finn. I came around to his head and dropped to the ground, bringing his head up onto my lap as I cradled it, wiping away the blood that came from his head as best I could.

  “It’s going to be okay baby, I’m here. I’ll always be here,” I whispered, kissing his clean skin.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I lifted my head off the side of the hospital bed, I must have fallen asleep. The steady beeping of the machine next to Finn’s bed told me that he was alive, but not awake. It had been nearly a week since he was hit by the car as he was crossing the street with Bo to come surprise us. The driver of the car was drunk and ran a red light as Finn was in the crosswalk. He suffered a broken leg in two places that required him to be wheeled into surgery yesterday, a few cracked ribs, bruises and scratches where his beautiful face hit the ground, and a concussion from hitting his head.

  Bo and Angie had to leave on Sunday, just like we had all planned to do together. But now here I was, watching my husband cling to life. Cooper, Ashton, and Finn’s mother Carol had all flown in the second I called them on Saturday morning. It was comforting to have them there, but also heartbreaking. Carol would quietly cry from the couch in the room most of the day and it made me feel like she had already given him a death sentence.

  All three of them tried to push me to go back to the hotel to take a shower or eat, something to get me out of the chair that I had planted next to Finn’s bed the second I was allowed to. The only reason I had changed out of my dress was because Angie had brought me back a change of clothes before her and Bo left for the airport. Otherwise, I would have stayed in my blood-stained dress from Friday night.

  The nurses were nice enough to let me use a shower that was available to use when I wanted to. I had a toothbrush on the vanity in the bathroom attached to Finn’s room, so I wouldn’t have to be far from him if he chose to wake up. Now I knew how he felt when he was waiting for me to wake up for him. But he was just showing off at this point, forcing me to wait. I had only been unconscious for three days, he was coming up on day six.

  I looked at the clock in the room, 6am and the sun was already rising. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I sat up in my chair and stretched. My back was starting to ache from being hunched over the bed as I slept every night. God damn it, Finn why couldn’t you just wake up?

  “Finn, sweetheart. It’s morning, time to wake up,” I quietly encouraged, the same way I did every morning.

  I laced my fingers through his and kissed the back of his hand, his silver wedding band shining up at me.

  “And you call me stubborn, Finn McAllister. At least I only made you wait three days before I woke up,” I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what he would say to me if he were awake.

  I just have to make you see how I felt when you made me wait.

  “Why couldn’t you just text me that you were coming to me, Finn? I know you love surprising me but hell, if this was the outcome…was it really worth it?” I asked him aloud.

  Baby, any surprise I can give you is worth it.

  “You aren’t supposed to leave me. You just married me for crying out loud. We are supposed to have forever…you promised me that. You promised me a family, Finn. You promised to love me every single day. Nobody will love me the way that you do,” tears ran down my face.

  You know I don’t break my promises, baby.

  “You’re breaking your promise to me right now. You aren’t waking up, you aren’t telling me you love me, you aren’t telling me I’m beautiful.”

  You know that I will always love you. Don’t ever forget that you are beautiful.

  “God damn it, you know I need to hear you say it.”

  “Julianna, who are you talking to?” Cooper asked, pushing the privacy curtain to the side, holding two paper cups in his hands from the gas station down the street.

  That was when I realized, I was answering the Finn that was in my head. He wasn’t really awake and telling me these things, I was talking to my unconscious husband as though he was talking back.

  I wiped the tears from my face, “Nobody, Coop. Sorry.”

  “You were yelling at him again, weren’t you?” He said handing me my hot chocolate.

  Nodding I looked down at mine and Finn’s hands, “The first few days, I told him how much I lov
ed him. I begged him to wake up. I told him I needed him and that I was waiting for him. I said everything that I could think to say. Now I just feel angry at him, Coop. Why won’t he wake up for me like I fought to wake up for him?”

  “If I know Finn, and I’ve known him the last twenty-six years, I know he is fighting like hell to get back to you, Jules. He fucking loves you. God, the way he talked about you after you two met? I knew that he loved you before he even took you on your first date.” He sat down on the chair next to me.

  “What are you talking about?” I looked over at him after taking a small sip of my drink.

  “The morning after you met, I had called Finn. We had just found out that we were going to have a little boy and I was ecstatic to share the news with him. After our father left, I practically raised Ashton and Finn when my mother had to work. I was only seven, but I took Finn under my wing and promised to protect him, to help raise him right. Him and I are so outrageously close because I was the father figure for him…he had no memory of our father after he left because he was so young. That’s why he’s the godfather to Sofie,” he stopped to take a drink of his coffee before he cleared his throat.

  I hadn’t even known that Finn was Sofie’s godfather. I knew that him and Cooper were close, but I just figured that they bonded as brothers. Apparently, I was wrong about just how close they really were.

  “After I told him my news, he said he had news of his own. I still remember exactly what he said about you. He said ‘Coop. This girl, Julianna. She’s different man. After I saved her from falling flat on her face, I felt something as I had my arm wrapped around her and looked into her eyes. She had all these quick comebacks to the things I said, damn was she sassy.’

  “‘I did something I never do and went on a walk with her to get her alone, to see if what I felt between us was really there without the energy of everyone around us. Fuck, Coop. It was there alright. I fucking poured my heart out to this girl and I had just met her. I think she felt the same because she openly talked to me about some deep shit as well. When we kissed, it was nothing I had ever felt before. I’m taking her out tonight and I am so nervous, but I am so excited. Is that normal?’”