Cheeky Royal

by Nana Malone

  12

  Penny …

  I wiped my hands on my jeans as I paced Ariel's apartment. "Okay. So, what do I do?"

  Ariel just stared at me and blinked. "You mean about Prince Hot-as-Fuck sniffing your neck?" A giggle escaped her lips.

  "Would you stop laughing?"

  Ariel threw up her hands. "I don’t have the playbook for this. I mean, he didn't sniff my neck."

  "And if he had?"

  Ariel flushed. “Let’s not talk about what I would do. Let’s talk about what you did. Looks like my plan worked."

  I gave up and just flopped back on the bed. "I need to figure out how to play this. I know the directive was get close to him. But I mean, how am I supposed to do that?"

  Ariel grimaced. "Well, there's the obvious way. It’s all dependent on how far you're willing to go for the job. The shower thing got you into his place."

  I raised a brow. "What exactly do you mean by how far I am willing to go for this job?"

  My friend shrugged. "Well, I'm just saying. We know that Sebastian is kind of a player. You're cute, live next door, and you plan on being in his space twenty-four seven. Not to mention, I could feel the chemistry crackle the first time you met. Use it."

  I blinked rapidly. "I'm not going to sleep with him. That's … " I couldn't even come up with the right word. "Unprofessional," I finally settled on.

  Ariel chuckled. "That it is."

  I threw a pillow at her head. "I am not doing that."

  Ariel gave me one of those glances that said, ‘oh, sure you're not.’ "Seriously though. No one is saying you have to sleep with the guy, but you can flirt and throw on a little feminine charm. You said it yourself: King Cassius says he’s in danger. So the sooner we can get him home the better."

  I sat up on the bed and pointed my thumbs towards myself. "Have you met this girl? I have zero charm. The Duke of Essex will attest to that."

  Ariel chuckled. "Yes, but even your craftiness and your general Calamity Janeness are kind of charming in a way. All you have to do is be you. Relax."

  I frowned. "I’m going to need more than that. This is the prince.”

  "I mean obviously you’re smoking hot. But the moment you get around him, you get all tongue-tied and bumbling. It's not like I didn't hear the audio from your first meeting."

  That made me bristle. "Well, I was trying to play the part. And my shit was trying to run away from me."

  "Okay look, maybe try and play the part. I'm not saying do anything unprofessional. But your job is to get close to him. You are technically here on behalf of the king. Almost spy-like. Embrace it. You’re the hot new Moneypenny."

  “You realize Moneypenny and Bond never actually slept together, right?"

  Ariel rolled her eyes. "But you get the idea. You turn on the charm. The flirtation alone will make him want to spend time with you. It will make it easier to keep an eye on him and keep him safe. How's that?"

  “Well, right about now, anything is worth a try. Because so far what I'm doing is not working. At least not how I want it to."

  * * *

  Sebastian …

  It was four in the morning and I was knackered. Not so much drunk because I’d stopped after four. I mostly had just been keeping Lucas company, and he had been on a tear. The good news was my brother was a happy drunk and he liked his women. Yeah, been there done that.

  I just hoped he’d be able to keep it together when he had the crown. Maybe he shouldn’t have the crown after all.

  No, I wasn’t even going to entertain that thought. I’d worked too hard to get here to find him and figure a way out. He had to be what I needed. Still, as I flopped back onto my couch, I just kept wondering if he would love the people like I did. Which was bullshit because for the last three or so years, all I’d wanted was my freedom, but I couldn’t seem to pull the trigger on what I knew I needed to do.

  I wasn’t sure what made me look out to the balcony that wrapped around and connected to Len’s, but I saw the light on. Why was she still up? Maybe because some weird neighbor sniffed her neck like she was a drug?

  God, why the fuck had I done that? She’d skittered away from me in the club. As well she should have.

  But had she felt that tingle? This was crazy, and I knew it. I didn’t need or want my body to feel the gravitational pull toward her. Why her? Why now? For months I hadn’t missed the random sleeping around.

  With her it wouldn’t be random.

  No, it wouldn’t be. I would see her every day. There would be no avoiding her in the end. I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with that. And as soon as I got Lucas to agree, I’d be on a plane. But I wanted to go out there. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to watch those dimples play in her cheeks again.

  You have a problem.

  I was not going out there. As tempting as she was, there were a million reasons why that was a bad idea. A million reasons why that wasn’t going to work. So instead, I did something else I’d been avoiding doing. I picked up the phone not even knowing what time it was. I called the still-familiar number.

  “Hello?”

  I swallowed hard. “Hi, Dad.”

  “Sebastian, Jesus Christ! Are you okay?”

  My heart pinched. Considering I’d been away for so long, I knew I’d probably put my parents through a fuck ton of worry. And Roone. Don't forget Roone. But my father’s first question was still, ‘Are you okay?’

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I just—honestly, I’m not sure why I’m calling.”

  “Do you need a reason?”

  I swallowed hard. “I don’t know. I guess maybe I thought I did need a reason after the way I left.”

  “I wish you hadn’t. We could have talked.”

  I shook my head even though my father couldn’t see me. ”I wasn’t really up for talking then. And honestly, I’m pretty sure none of it would have sunk in.”

  “And that’s fair. You had a right to take some time to process it.”

  What was I supposed to say this? There was no script really, so I just said it. “I found him, Dad. Lucas. I found him.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah. He’s, he’s cool, kind of a troublemaker. A handful, but I can see you when I look at him.”

  More silence. “Did you … did you tell him?“

  “No, not yet. I’m just trying to get to know him. I want to find out who he is before I lay all this other shit on top of him.”

  “Maybe I could meet him.”

  No. “No. I’m sure there’s time for that. I just—I wanted you to know that I found him.”

  “Thank you for letting me know. I’m just glad to hear from you, to hear that you’re safe. I’m sorry all of this turned out this way.”

  “You felt you were doing what you had to do. And I felt the same. So here we are.”

  “Are you coming home soon?”

  “Yeah, Dad. I promise I’ll be home soon.” My inability to tell my father why I’d be home stuck on the roof of my mouth.

  “Sebastian, I’m glad you called.”

  “Me too. I’ll call again soon.” When I hung up, I felt oddly lighter but somehow heavier. Even as angry as I was with my parents, I didn’t want to break their hearts. I heard movement around the balcony and frowned. Seriously, what was she still doing up?

  I opened the door to my balcony and peeked out. And sure enough, there was Penny on her balcony, mixing paint and testing the colors on a small piece of canvas. “Shouldn’t you be asleep by now?”

  She jumped and turned. “Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me … again, I might add.”

  “These are wrought iron balconies. It’s not like I could be quiet.”

  “I know. I just—I get a little lost when I start painting.”

  “You realize it’s four in the morning, right?”

  She licked her lips, and my gaze pinned to the peek of pink. “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep so I figured maybe I’d mix paint colors. I don’t know. There’s this image I have in m
y head, and the color has to be just right. I don’t want to start painting it without knowing, you know?”

  I nodded. “I get that way about some photos too. Like, I have seen a hint of something before and I really want to replicate it. And if I can’t, it drives me batshit.”

  “Yes, exactly. So I figured if I couldn’t sleep, I’d at least get the color right and do a little test. Then I can start in the morning, or in this case, a couple of hours.” She smiled at me and gave me a hint of dimple. “So what’s your story? Why are you still awake?”

  “Lucas wanted to stay at the club a little longer, so I just got home not too long ago.” I ran a hand through my hair and cleared my throat. “I—uh—also, I feel like I should apologize for earlier.” I shoved my hands in my pockets. “The sniffing thing. Not sure what came over me.”

  It was dark, but I was almost certain I saw her flush. Was she thinking about it? The intimate contact between us, the way I’d run my nose and lips up the column of her neck?

  Dude, you’re only torturing yourself. I was, but it was kind of fun.

  “Forget it happened. Hope you guys had fun. “

  “Listen, do you want to grab a bite to eat or something? I know this great Thai place around the corner.”

  Her gaze skittered over to me. “You mean like a date?”

  Yes. “No.” Fuck. Why was this hard? I’d never had a single problem with women. “You’re new to the city, so I figured you could use someone to show you around.”

  What the fuck are you doing?

  I had no fucking clue. All I knew was that I wanted to see that pretty pink flush again. I wanted to watch her tongue twitch over her lip. And I wanted to sniff her again, which just sounded creepy. I was losing my shit around her and it was going to be a problem soon.

  “Come on, I don’t bite. Unless you ask nicely.”

  “Sebastian … ” She shook her head and cast her glance back to her canvas. “You seem really cool. I feel like I should disclose that I have a boyfriend.”

  Why did that make a knot form in my gut? So what if she had a boyfriend? Did she have no fucking clue who I was? Nope, she had no clue, and she just turned me down.

  Okay, retreat, reassess. “Okay, I can respect that.” Like hell I would. Okay, I would, but she had to have felt the pull between us. “You still have to eat. And I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to have some friends. You said it yourself: you’re new here.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, I am new here, and I do like to eat. Thai is a particular favorite. But just friends, right?”

  “I promise to be the epitome of a gentleman.”

  She laughed boldly. “Yeah, somehow I’m not sure you know what gentleman means, but don’t worry, I can teach you.”

  “If you think I’m bad, you should have seen Lucas tonight. Even I was like, ‘man, give it a rest.’”

  “How do you guys know each other?”

  How did I go about answering that? “Uh, it’s complicated.” Fuck, I needed to talk to someone. And she was so easy to talk to. She’d already tried to forcibly shove me into the friend zone, right? I could talk to her. “I found out something about him, and I’m not exactly sure if I should let him know.”

  “Yeah, you are.” She said it with such finality.

  I frowned. “How’s that?”

  She shrugged. “You said you’re not sure, but you are. You’re asking me because you’re looking for permission to tell him the hard thing. But you already want to tell him the hard thing. You clearly don’t want to take the easy way out; otherwise, it wouldn’t be bothering you enough to ask me, a relative stranger.”

  Shit, she had me pegged. “I guess you have a point there.”

  She shrugged. “Just tell him. Whatever it is. Rip off the Band-Aid. Clean rip, otherwise it’ll pull out all the tiny little hairs, and there’s nothing that hurts worse than having your hairs ripped out by the roots. So don’t do it slowly. And then whatever it is that’s bothering you, you’ll have told him. It’s information you think he needs to have, so give it to him. And then stand back and wait. Give him a chance to not be so keen on hearing whatever it is you have to tell him.”

  I puffed out a breath. “It’ll be hard to hear.”

  “The truth usually is.”

  I knew she was giving me great advice, but right now all my brain could focus on was the stretch of skin on display under her T-shirt. I had a problem. Her name was Len Cantor. And yes, I’d looked up her last name on the lease agreement like the creeper I was.

  If she wanted to be friends, we could be friends. I’d never had a female friend before, really. At least not one that didn’t want to jump my bones. This would be a new experience. Besides, it seemed that Len gave great advice.

  It also seemed she saw too much. Being around her unsettled the shit out of me, and I needed to be careful.

  Or even better, I could stay the fuck away. The last thing I needed was this little obsession of mine growing. I needed to be singularly focused on Lucas.

  Len was a distraction I didn’t need.

  13

  Penny …

  There was a plan.

  I knew the plan.

  But knowing the plan and executing the plan were two totally different things. I had Ariel on FaceTime as I looked into the little cage of her little mouse friend. “Ariel, I’m not sure about this. I mean, a lot of things could go wrong. First of all, I’m letting a mouse into my apartment. Second of all, I’m relying on the kindness of a virtual stranger. Third, I’m not sure about letting a mouse loose in my apartment.”

  Ariel laughed. “Turn the phone so I can see him and say hi.”

  I stared at her. “Stop being insane. I need your help and you’re mocking me.”

  “Oh relax. It’s just a mouse. Besides, that little cage you have there is state of the art. And that little guy there has been trained. All you have to do is let him out. Let him run around the apartment. When Sebastian is gone, bring out the cage again, press the little button on the side, and he’ll hear the sound and come galloping for the peanut butter right into his cage. It’s foolproof.”

  “See, first of all, I thought mice liked cheese.”

  “It’s a common misconception. They love peanut butter.”

  I glanced down at Ariel’s furry friend. “And what if Sebastian happens to catch him? What if he kills him?” He was kind of cute with his little whiskers and his little pink nose. Not that I wanted to touch him mind you, but he was kind of cute.

  “Sebastian isn’t going to catch him. These little guys are fast. He’s going to call an exterminator. And that will be that. Just make sure you cause enough of a ruckus that he’ll take you out of the apartment. Then I’ll come back and collect your little friend before an exterminator can come over and set little mouse traps. Easy peasy.”

  “Seems like an awful lot of work just to catch and keep the prince’s eye.”

  “Yes, of course. But worthwhile work because as macho or hot as he may seem, most people don’t like rodents. Still, he’ll feel inclined to take care of you being the chivalrous prince that he was raised to be, which gets you that much closer. And of course, then he’ll remember you naked. So that helps.”

  “Diabolical.”

  “You better believe it. Now, get to screaming.”

  I hung up with Ariel and stared at the little mouse. “Okay, you and me, let’s make a deal. You don’t die today, and you don’t force me to kill you today, okay?”

  The little guy just wiggled his nose at me.

  “I see you’re mocking me too, aren’t you? Fair enough, but if Sebastian catches you, that’s not on me. That’s on you.”

  For starters, I opened the French door to the balcony, knowing full well he kept his doors open. It hadn’t gotten too cold yet; Indian summer was just crawling in. So it made perfect sense that we both had our doors open. The next step was releasing my furry friend. I deliberately released him deep inside the apartment away from the doors. I didn’t want hi
m escaping and actually crawling into someone else’s apartment to terrorize them. Besides, if he was trained, met another mouse and reproduced, we’d have a whole epidemic of brilliant mice running around New York City, like the Rats of NIMH. Seriously, the rats were enough. I climbed up on the couch after tucking Mickey’s cage in the closet, and I screamed.

  “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!” Then I waited. Nothing happened. I knew for a fact that I didn’t have a neighbor on the other side of me. And honestly, I didn’t wanna screech. Maybe that’s what it took to get Sebastian to come over. We knew from the bugs we’d planted that he was inside the apartment. So I just needed to be compelling enough. I swallowed my dignity and screamed at the top of my lungs.

  That did it. It didn’t take much before Sebastian was running over the joint balcony and in through my French doors.

  “Len? What’s wrong? I heard you screaming.”

  Showtime. I had better win an Academy Award for this. “Oh my God! Oh my God! He’s over there. He’s over there. He’s over there.” I hoped Mickey would play his part. Otherwise, it would make me look insane.

  Sebastian whirled around. “Who? What? What are you talking about?”

  “It’s a mouse. It’s a mouse. Over there. I saw him crawling. Oh my God! Please! Please! Please.”

  Sebastian groaned. “Fuck. This building was just fumigated. How did the little fucker get in here?”

  * * *

  Sebastian …

  Shit. She was really freaked out. Here’s the thing: I hate mice. I’d insisted on living like a normal person when I first moved to New York for uni. The flat I’d gotten was practically infested. I couldn’t stand the little creatures. It didn’t matter that they looked real cute. They were disgusting. But I knew I had to man up in front of this girl, my neighbor.

  She’s not a girl. Well, she’s a girl, but we’re not looking at her like that. Whatever.

  “Okay, look, you stay there. Where was the last place you saw him?”

  She squeaked again and pointed in the general vicinity of the kitchen.