Shadowy Truth

by Deanna James

  I simply nodded and felt Raphael pulling me back against his chest.

  “Alright, then let me enlighten you on the subject.” I watched as he pointed toward my computer chair and it came flying across the floor to him. He sat down and leisurely crossed his legs. “The devil is trying to persuade some people who have the possibilities for evil inside them to convert. You my dear have so much darkness in your soul just waiting to burst out.” He smiled. “But God has sent someone to intervene with the devil’s game. He has sent out his soldiers of good. See, something no mortal knows is that each and every one of you has a guardian angel that is assigned only to you and you alone.” My eyes followed his as he looked at Raphael.

  Raphael looked down at me and smiled. I could tell he was pure at heart and kind. But if he was a guardian angel like this man said, then it was a natural trait for an angel of God. So all the calm feeling I had around him were because of his abilities as my angel?

  “Then Raphael is…?” I asked confused.

  “Yes,” Raphael spoke calmly. “I’m your guardian angel, Katie.” He walked around in front of me and glanced over his shoulder at Jake. “I was sent to keep you on the right track in life. I know your life has been hectic for the past few years, but remember, you must take the bad with the good. Everything happens for a reason.” He half-heartedly smiled down at me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Even the things that hurt are happening for a reason. Chris wasn’t the one for you; your one will come someday.”

  Jake yawned and stood up from my chair. “Well as touching as all this is, I can see I won’t be getting anywhere tonight. So I bid you farewell for the time being, Miss Williams. But I will be back and remember Raphael - all it takes is something to spark her heart to the malice that lies deep within it.”

  With his parting words Jake disappeared into a cloud of black vapor. This was really starting to get weird. My dog wasn’t a dog, but a guardian angel sent from God to protect me against the demons of the devil. And now I find out I’ve been marked by the devil for harvesting. Well, I knew my day could get worse - after all it always does.

  “Katie, you need to sleep. I can purify you so he won’t be able to evade your dreams any longer.” Raphael spoke and held up his cross.

  I just stared at him for a moment then shook my head. “No,” How was I going to tell him that is wasn’t Jake that was in my dreams, but him. Was it wrong to have dreams about your guardian angel?

  He leaned down to look at me closer and I had to move back at his closeness. “Are you feeling alright?”

  I quickly nodded and turned to sit back down on my bed. This day wasn’t going to be a good one. Looking up at the clock I frowned, it was already 5 AM. But luckily it was a Sunday so no classes today. But that was the least of my worries. Now I had way more to worry about than classes and projects - now I had demons and guardian angel dogs to worry about.

  “So you’re the dog?” I asked and glanced over at Raphael.

  He nodded and came to sit beside me on the bed. “Your heart was in jeopardy when Chris broke up with you. He really hurt you enough to cause you to titter on the line between heaven and hell.” Raphael spoke slow and calm. I guess I should expect calmness and easy going attitude from a saint…

  But I still couldn’t wrap my mind around my dog being an angel. Let alone my guardian angel. Then one thing came to mind and I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

  “So do you really have wings?”

  After asking that question I felt stupid.

  But Raphael just laughed it off and smiled. “Yes, we really do have wings. But not all of our wings are white like in the stories.”

  I watched as he stood up and closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. A warm sensation enveloped the room as his body slowly started to glow and as if unfolding two black feathered wings spread to an impressing span.

  Standing I couldn’t stop myself. I reached out to touch the velvet feathers that darned his massive wings. This was unbelievable, and I wouldn’t believe it if I weren’t touching the creature’s wing at the moment. “Why are your wings black? I thought black was an evil color?” I asked curiously.

  Raphael laughed. “No color is evil or good. They are just colors.” He folded his wings behind his back, as if he they were normal, which to him I say they are.

  “So do all guardian angels have different color wings?”

  “Yes, but most are just nature tones; blacks, grays, brown…” He explained things calmly and with never raising his voice. “Some of us do have white wings, but they are generally an off white. Feathers do get dirty you know.” Raphael laughed. “I like black; they only get white specks now and then.” He grinned when I laughed at his comment.

  “But were you created or…born?”

  Questions seemed to be pouring out of me and I just couldn’t stop them. All of the questions I had in my head could be answered now. Here was a heavenly being standing in front of me - how could I pass up asking questions.

  “Well, most guardian angels were born human. We are just your normal, everyday humans who have died and were given a second chance to redeem ourselves.” That subject caused him to gaze off. Something about his past hurt.

  I let out a breath that I hadn’t known I was holding, and then turned to look at him curiously. “So what did you do before this?”

  He laughed, “Do you really want to know?”

  “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.” I smiled.

  “Well, I was in a drug trafficking ring in Texas. We brought drugs from Mexico to Texas and then shipped them out to other states.” He and shook his head. “I guess you could I was one of those people you never wanted to meet. One day I was moving some marijuana and got stopped by some dealers who tried to rob the shipment from me,” He reached up and unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it to the side to reveal a large scar in the center of his chest. “I was shot after killing 3 of them. They killed me for the shipment and left me lying on the side of the road.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry…” I couldn’t believe his story was so morbid for someone who was an angel now. Maybe this just proved the theory that everyone had a skeleton in their closet. But Raphael didn’t get to fix his problems in life, so God gave him the chance to fix them in his afterlife.

  “Don’t feel sorry for me, Katie.” He laughed, “I was a horrible person. I deserved the death I received in the end. If I hadn’t have met my end at the hand of those dealers, I would have ended up causing the deaths of hundreds. It is all part of his plan…” Raphael glanced up and smiled. “He tries to keep everything going smooth, but sometimes, things just end up going down the wrong route.”

  I just stared at him in amazement. Who would have thought someone could be so deep and yet so masculine. Everything I questioned stood right in front of my eyes. He wasn’t some mystical being who was born from the light of God. No, he was a normal human once. Just like me he was living every day like it was his last. And one day it was his last. He might have done some horrible things, but God seen fit to give him a second chance. I guess it showed how forgiving He could be.

  “You need to get some rest.” Raphael said and walked over and lifted up her comforter. “I’ll shift back and sleep on the floor so you don’t feel so uncomfortable.” He smiled and nodded for her to crawl into the bed.

  I nodded and made my way over the bed and crawled under the covers he had held up. “Thank you,” I had more questions rambling through my head, but they could wait. “You don’t have to shift back.”

  Raphael laughed, “Oh, I think your roommate wouldn’t know what to think of a man with wings sleeping on your floor. It might take some time to explain, don’t you think?” His laugh was magical. It eased my nervous and gave me a feeling of peace. Were all guardian angels equipped with that power over their Master?

  “Yea, I think you’re right.” I laid there thinking of everything of the day and I could feel my body being warmed by the comforter.

  �
�Just rest, I’ll be here when you wake up.” I could tell there was a flash of light and when I opened my eyes and glanced over, there stood Raphael as Blackie the dog. He was wagging his tail and nudged my arm.

  I wiggled over in my bed, making room for him. “Come on up.” I patted the bed and smiled when he jumped up and stretched out. As strange as everything had been, I was oddly alright with it. But I knew I would have a slew of questions later. And I really hoped Raphael would be willing and able to answer at least half of them…

  Chapter Five

  I stretched out in my bed and loosened my muscled. I felt completely rested for once. Plus my mind was a clean slate. Maybe everything that had happened last night was for the best. It had cleaned my mind of everything that I thought was important - but apparently wasn’t.

  My eyes snapped open at the thought of last night. Where was Blackie? Was everything last night just another wacky dream?

  Then I heard rambling coming from the kitchenette. “Heather?” I questioned and crawled out of bed. Blackie wasn’t sleeping the bed or on the floor. Maybe he is in the kitchen with Heather. As I made my way to the kitchen I almost fell, and probably would have if it hadn’t been for the door frame.

  Standing there in an apron was Raphael. The white clashed with his all black attire. He was quickly mixing and tasting things like he had cooked his whole life. He seemed right at home in the kitchen, which was much more than she could say for herself. Then something clicked in her head, “So it was you!”

  “Huh?” Raphael stopped and glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, good morning, Katie!” He smiled and nodded toward the food. “It will be done in a minute, go ahead and sit down.”

  “You’re the one who made the dinner that night!” I exclaimed as I made my way over to the table to sit down. As I sat I glanced around for Heather, surely he wouldn’t be shifting and cooking with her here. “Where is Heather?” I asked confused.

  “She was talking to someone on the phone and left.” He put down the spoon he was stirring with and walked over to the small bulletin board near the door and pulled off a piece of paper. “Here, she left a note.”

  I glanced at the letter; Katie, I’m going to go stay with my mother for a few days. She’s not feeling good. Think she may have the flu. So don’t forget to get sleep and go to class. Love you girl! ~Heather

  “Well, I guess you can shift at will since she’ll be gone for a few days.” I smiled at Raphael and watched him cook. He looked good in his apron and dark attire. I noted rather quickly that his shirt was still opened to half way and his scar shown clearly.

  He glanced from his cooking toward me. “Is something the matter?”

  “Did it hurt?” I asked. It might have been a bold question but I really wanted to know if it hurt to die.

  “Did what hurt?” He asked and then glanced down to the place I was looking. “Getting shot?”

  “No, I’m sure I know that hurt. I mean does dying hurt?”

  Raphael paused and then reached over to turn everything off on the stove. He untied the apron and laid it down on the counter. “Well, it doesn’t really hurt. I guess you could say it is a strange feeling of being weightless. But I don’t really remember any pain.” He looked at me curiously. “Why do you ask? No bad thoughts in that mind of yours are there?” His expression turned to worry at that sentence.

  “Oh! No, no! Never!” I quickly corrected his suspensions. “I was just curious, since everyone I know is fearful of death it has to be something that is painful - right?”

  He sat down across from me and put his arms on the table. “Well I don’t think they are fearful that it will hurt. I guess it is more the thought of actually being dead. Humans believe that when you are dead, that’s it. You’re just dead. But death is so much more than nonexistence.” Raphael smiled and leaned back in his chair. “God has plans set in place for everyone on earth, whether they are a criminal or a priest. Everyone has a place in the Heavens. It is really something that is hard to explain, it is one of those things you’ll have to experience to understand.”

  “Really?” I was starting to see that everything about Heaven and Hell weren’t just black and white; there was also a whole lot of gray areas. Just like on earth. Everything was organized and everyone had their own place to end up.

  I didn’t even notice Raphael get up and fix a plate of food until it was in front of me.

  “Go ahead and eat.” He said as he turned the chair around and sat down in it, folding his arms to rest his chin on the back of the chair. “I noticed you don’t eat much good stuff. So I thought a home cooked meal would be a good change for you.”

  I stared at the food for a moment then used a fork to taste it. It was amazing. I’m certain a chef couldn’t have done better himself. Then I simply had to ask, “How does a drug trafficker know how to cook? That is if you don’t mind me asking?”

  He laughed and then smiled, “Well God gives us the abilities he believes we will need to help our Masters. Apparently you aren’t a good cook so he gave me the ability to cook for you if you need it.” Raphael winked at my embarrassment. I knew he was having fun at my expense.

  “Well I’m sorry I don’t know how to cook.” I pouted, which was something I rarely did. It seemed that I felt comfortable around Raphael, far more comfortable than I had ever felt around anyone, even my own mother.

  “Well there is plenty, so eat your fill.” Raphael pushed the chair forward and walked around the table and put his hand on my shoulder.

  “What are you doing?” I asked quickly, dropping my spoon.

  “Relax, I’m just going to check the mark and make sure it isn’t spreading.” His voice whispered in my ear as his hand caressed my neck. I could feel a light burning sensation where his fingertips grazed the skin. The mark was trying to repel his touch. I could feel it trying to bury itself deeper in my skin. As if it was afraid he was going to banish it right then and there.

  “It’s burning…” I wiggled in my chair as the searing sensation got worse with every passing second.

  Raphael pulled his hands away quickly and took a step back, “I’m sorry.”

  “What was causing it to burn so bad?” I asked and rubbed my neck as the feeling slowly began to go away. “Is it because you are an angel?”

  Raphael looked down at his hands and I quickly noticed that he was burnt. “I think it has something to do with the pentagram design, it repels my power source.”

  “Oh my goodness, are you alright?” I asked and pushed my chair back and ran over to him. “Your hand is burnt.” I grabbed his hand and expected it carefully.

  I could feel his silver gaze on me, but I didn’t dare look up. I just continued to try to think of what to use that was in the kitchen for a burn.

  “I’ll be fine, see…” As he spoke I watched the redness disappear and the blisters heal. “See, all healed.” He held the once burned hand up to reveal it was completely healed. “Guardian angels heal quickly. It is needed with our jobs sometimes.” He smiled.

  So he could shape shift and heals fast. Was there a con to being a guardian angel? Right now I sure wasn’t seeing one.

  “Oh, so when you get hurt you just heal fast and can’t die?” I asked trying to piece everything together.

  He pulled a chair over to me and sat down. “Well, we can’t die because…of course we are already dead. But we can be wounded bad enough that it takes a while for us to heal. Which leaves us open to capture from the demons. The devil is always happy to have an angel of any kind to torment for eternity.” Raphael frowned, “One of my friends was captured a few years back and we found his wings ripped from his back, but his body was never found.”

  “Oh my goodness, I’m sorry to hear that.” I could only imagine the pain and torment guardian angels went through trying to keep their Masters safe from demons and other harm. I knew there had to be a con to his job. “But do you only watch after one person? What happens when that person dies?”

  “Well, I ha
ve already served two Masters. You are my third.” Raphael said and laughed. “You are by far the easiest to keep up with. The first was a musician, he was always trying to out run me and hide from me. He never understood I was there to help him. But in the end his trickery ended him in Hell.”

  “Oh,” So if I didn’t let him know where I was he couldn’t help protect me from the demons. It wasn’t like he had a GPS on me or anything. He was somewhat like a normal human in that aspect. That was kind of a relief to know, but also kind of worrying.

  “Yeah, my second Master however was very adventurous. She was a police officer. An officer with no sense of self preservation, although she was a very good person at heart her husband’s death had caused darkness in her heart for those who had killed him; Giving demons a chance to sway her to the darkness with shallow promises of revenge.” He shook his head and sighed. “She was a great woman with a deep pain in her heart that in the end also sent her down the wrong path for eternity.” Raphael shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me. “So as you can see, I don’t have the best track record with my Masters. Sorry you got stuck with me.”

  “Wait,” Sometime was nagging at my brain now. “How old are you?”

  Raphael laughed as he began to think. “Well which age do you want to know? How old was I when I was killed or how long have I been an angel?”

  “Both.” I stated curiously.

  “Well I was 23 when I was shot and killed.” He laughed, “I’ve heard I look older.”

  I nodded. “Maybe a little, I would guess in your early thirties…”

  “Oh well, that’s not so bad I guess.” He said and smiled at me. “As for how long I’ve been an angel, let me think,” He was quiet for a minute then began to count on his fingers like a child. “I’m guessing around 50 years.”

  “Wow,” I thought on that for a moment. Now I could see why he was happy I thought he was only thirty. “So you’re around 73?”

  “Yea I guess that’s close enough.” His laughter was like music. “So I guess people thinking I look 30 are good thing,” He winked at me like a kid. “…right?”