The Playboy's Baby

by Stewart, JM

  “Did I ask you for one?” She sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed, disgusted with herself for believing in the pull between them. What had she expected? It was sex. Only passion. The cravings of the flesh. It wasn’t going to be like in the movies or in novels, all romantic and steamy, but deep inside she wanted that and found the reality less than desirable. It made her feel like a fool. Like a stupid silly high school girl who got in way over her head.

  Unable to keep the pain from reaching her voice or the tears from pricking her eyelids, she exited the bed and went in search of her clothes.

  Dillon proved faster and rounded the bed at her. One strong arm snaked around her waist, gently pulling her back to him. His voice was soft and gentle in her ear. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I used you. That’s not how I meant it.”

  “We used each other.” She jerked free of his touch and side-stepped around him, gathering her clothing off the floor. “I was a virgin by choice, not because I’m young and stupid. No worries. I get it. Loud and clear.”

  She didn’t bother to wait for a reply.

  Chapter Nine

  Dillon’s heart hung heavy when Emma stormed from the room. Completely naked, her hair flew out behind her, her bare backside disappearing around the corner and into the hallway. He ought to go after her, smooth things over. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, had tried for exactly the opposite.

  Except, he knew chasing after her wouldn’t change the way he felt. He’d gone down the marriage and family road once and gotten burned. He’d given his heart to one too many women who were only after his money. It hurt beyond belief to find out after he was in love with a woman that she didn’t care for him in the least. He did it not once, or twice, but four times.

  Leila was the worst. He fell the hardest for her and gave the most of himself. In the end, it left him feeling like a fool for not seeing the lies sooner. He decided after Leila left he wouldn’t put his heart out there again.

  No, he couldn’t go down that road again. Not even for Emma. She deserved more than what little he could offer her.

  Knowing she deserved the truth from him instead of lies didn’t make him feel any better. That he took her virginity on top of it all left a very bad taste in his mouth. Made him feel like he used her for his own selfish benefit. Which made him exactly what everyone accused him of being. More to the point, if he felt that way, how did she feel?

  He dropped onto the edge of the bed, ducked his head, and raked his hands through his hair. Boy, he managed to screw this one up. They were back to that place again, where she didn’t trust him and assumed the worst of him. They’d been here entirely too much over the course of their lives. It seemed they were forever destined to be here, where she didn’t trust him. He longed to be in that place where her smiles ran free and her face was open, instead of guarded and reserved.

  He couldn’t leave things the way they were. Some way, somehow he had to fix this. She deserved that much.

  After getting rid of the condom, he yanked on his shorts and jeans and went in search of her. She was in the kitchen. Fully dressed now in a pair of black slacks and a short-sleeved pink blouse, she stood at the sink, washing the dishes he used to feed Annie lunch. Sidling up behind her, he braced his hands on the counter on either side of her.

  He meant the action to keep her from walking away again, but he could only focus on her soft curves brushing his. Only minutes before she’d been naked and writhing beneath him and his entire body hummed with the potent memory. They shared something and even he couldn’t deny it. The sheer restraint it took not to lean into her, not to wrap her in his arms, had tension knotting his shoulders.

  It didn’t help matters any that when he leaned his head beside her ear, her soft floral scent swirled enticingly around him. Drawing a deep breath, he forced his mind to focus. He may not get another chance, and he needed her to hear him out.

  “I won’t lie to you. I’d love nothing more than to explore this new aspect of our relationship. I’ve wanted you for a very long time. I also need you to believe you are anything but another notch on my bedpost. I have far too much respect for you to ever use you like that.” More than he had words to tell her. “But I can’t offer you anything more than this.”

  He paused, drew in a deep breath, letting it out in a rush of air. The words tumbled out on a simple need to share them, to make her understand.

  “Leila and I were together for over three years. I really thought she was it. Turned out she was like all the rest, and when it ended…” The painful memories rose up around him. He shook his head, lowering his voice. “It about killed me to watch her leave. I can’t do this again. I’m just not ready.”

  He spoke nothing but the truth, but he hated saying it. It made him feel like a louse.

  Emma shut off the water and turned in his arms, forcing him to straighten, and she leaned back against the counter. For a long moment, her eyes searched his, stared almost through him. Made him wonder what she looked for, what she saw, and if she’d voice it. Finally, one brow arched. “Did it ever occur to you I’m not asking for any of that?”

  He shook his head with all the misery that twisted inside of him. “You deserve a hell of a lot more than a fling.”

  “Maybe that’s not your decision to make.” She laid a hand against his chest, her fingers warm and soft against his skin. “I’m a grown woman. I’m not naïve. I know perfectly well what I’m doing, and I’m very capable of making my own decisions about what I want.”

  He covered her hand with his, curling his fingers around hers, for reasons he didn’t want to fathom, needing the connection with her, however minute. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Then stop treating me like I’m one of those women.” Her fingers curled against his. “We got caught up in each other. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.”

  Could it really be that simple? With anybody else the answer would be yes, but with Emma? He didn’t know. More than he cared to admit, he yearned to explore this side of her, this side of them, see where it led him. His body vibrated with the need to wrap his arms around her, if only to feel her against him.

  Exactly why he shouldn’t. He’d never wanted anyone the way he wanted her. There’d always been something so soft, so honest about Emma that made him crave to be near her. The effect she had on him scared the hell out of him. He was starting to envision her in his life permanently. The vision of the three of them like a family came far too easily.

  “Listen.” He took a step back and shoved his hands into his pockets. He forced himself to change the subject before he went mad thinking about it all. “It’s going to take me a bit of finagling, but I may have somewhere I’d like to take you tomorrow. If I can pull it off, will you go with me? I’d like to show you something.”

  He had a surprise for her, had wanted to wait until the details were final before he sprang it on her, but now seemed the perfect time. With any luck, it would help bridge the gap between them. To prove once and for all he wasn’t the man she assumed him to be had become very important, and he hoped this would earn back some of her trust. Permanently.

  It also gave him some place to focus his attention while he sorted out his thoughts.

  Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You won’t tell me what it is.”

  He shook his head. “I’d like it to be a surprise.”

  “I hate surprises.” She pursed her lips, a frown puckering her brow.

  “Everybody says that, but nobody ever really means it. Will you go?”

  She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down, searching his eyes. “All right.”

  “Good.” He gave her a soft smile, pleased beyond measure she hadn’t turned him down. They’d taken a step in the right direction.

  * * *

  “Why is it I have to wear this again?” Emma reached up to touch the makeshift blindfold Dillon tied to the back of her head.

  “Because it won’t be a surprise i
f you see where we’re going.”

  She pursed her lips. “I hate surprises, Dillon.”

  He chuckled, the warm, rich sound teasing her senses. “No, you hate not knowing.”

  Actually, she found the feel of him behind her the most unnerving. Everything had changed between them. This morning he looked at her differently. His deep, dark eyes held an unmistakable longing, a shared sense of intimacy when their gazes collided, and it made her weak in the knees.

  It was a sense of mutual connection and it called to her, beckoning like a piece of candy, sinful and delicious and oh so tempting. She refused to overthink her actions, to regret what happened between them. If she did, the guilt would eat her alive. For the time being, she held on to it. It was something completely and totally selfish. Her boyfriend in high school was wrong. It didn’t make her a slut just because she got caught up in passion. For the first time in her life, she wanted to let herself get lost in an emotion. To hell with what anybody said about it.

  Did she want it to move further? She didn’t know. The thought scared her to death. Casual or serious, she’d never taken this big of a step in any of her romantic relationships before.

  Dillon shifted from behind her. “You ready?”

  She reached up to touch the blindfold again. “I can’t see anything. Why not wait ’til I’m in the car to put this on?”

  He slipped his hand into hers, threading their fingers. His warm breath feathered along her cheek. “Because I can.”

  She didn’t need to see his face to know a self-pleased grin was spread across it. The arrogant, amused tone of his voice said it all and she couldn’t help smiling in response. She was putty in his hands with this blindfold on and not only did he know it, but he obviously liked it that way. God help her, his arrogance was sexy right then.

  “Actually, the answer is two-fold. It’s supposed to be a tease. I wanted to make this fun for you.” His voice lowered to an intimate murmur. “I happen to like teasing you, because I love watching you smile. You’re incredibly beautiful when you smile. You don’t do it enough.”

  A heated shiver ran the length of her spine. She didn’t know what to say to that. Or even if she ought to say anything. Lucky for her, Dillon continued before she could think of a proper response.

  “Right now, not only are you smiling, but your entire demeanor has changed. You’ve relaxed. Which brings me to my second reason.”

  “What’s that?”

  “It’s also an act of faith. I screwed up yesterday, and now there’s tension between us. I don’t like it when you look at me like you aren’t sure if you can trust me, and I don’t like knowing you aren’t comfortable with me. I’m not anywhere near perfect, but I’m not that guy who hurt you and I’m not the guy you think I am. Like this, with the blindfold on, you have to put yourself in my hands, trust me to take care of you, to not let anything happen to you.” He shifted from behind her, and took her hands in his, stroking his thumbs over her knuckles. “I’m asking you to trust me, Em.”

  The simple feel of his hand in hers, warm skin against warm skin, electrified her nerve endings. His words floored her. That had to be the sweetest thing any man had ever said to her. He was right. Things were awkward between them this morning. Did she trust him?

  She nodded. “I trust you. Do you have Annie?”

  “Of course.”

  With a gentle tug on her hand, he guided her forward. The front door creaked open, and a gust of icy winter air rushed in around her.

  “Step,” he said quietly.

  She did. They moved down the front walk, the snow crunching beneath their feet. Ten paces later, he stopped and released her hand.

  “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  “Where would I go?” She shrugged, feeling more than a little helpless. Her heart pounded in giddy anticipation. The whole idea of a surprise made her nervous and excited at the same time.

  The car door opened with a soft pop and the click of Annie’s car seat settling into the base that was strapped into the backseat filled the silence. Dillon’s feet crunched in the snow again, and then his hand slipped into hers, warm, soft, and soothing. A gentle tug on her arm led her forward again. Then another door opened.

  With Dillon’s hands on her hips to guide her, she managed to climb into the car just fine, using her hands to feel her surroundings. Dillon’s body pressed against her side, his masculine scent enveloping her when he buckled her in.

  They rode in silence for the first few minutes, only the quiet sounds of a hard rock song over the radio in the background and the hum of the engine beneath her.

  Finally, unable to stand the silence, she asked, “Tell me again where we’re going?”

  He chuckled. “Nice try. Actually, I want to stop by my parents’ first and drop Annie off with my mother for an hour or so.”

  “How come?”

  He didn’t answer right away. “Maybe I just want you all to myself. Ever think of that?”

  The low, husky sound of his voice and the need she heard in those words slithered all the way up her spine, setting her nerve endings on fire and making her hands tremble.

  “Actually, where we’re going won’t have heat. It’s going to be cold, and I think she’ll have more fun if I leave her with my mom.”

  When the car finally came to a stop a few minutes later, that sense of giddy anticipation swelled in her chest again. “Now?”

  He let out a quiet laugh. “Nope. We’re at my parent’s place. Sit tight. I’ll be right back.”

  The car door opened then snapped closed, enveloping her in silence for a moment before the rear door opened this time. He got Annie from the back then closed the door, leaving her, once again, in silence. Way too much time to ponder what kind of surprise Dillon, of all people, could possibly have for her. By the time her mind went in antsy circles, the car door opened again, another cold blast of air hitting her cheeks.

  “Ready?” The car door closed again, and his voice held an entirely too amused tone.

  “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

  “Immensely.”

  She didn’t have to see his face to know a grin went along with that statement.

  The next time the car stopped, she forced herself not to get too excited and instead folded her hands in her lap and simply waited.

  “This is killing you, isn’t it?” His voice came suddenly beside her ear.

  Startled, her heart jumped into her throat. “Yes. I really hate surprises.”

  “I promise you’ll like this one. Keep your eyes closed.”

  She did what he asked, and a click sounded through the space. The seat belt slid from around her body. He gave a gentle tug on the back of the blindfold and the material slipped away. The car door opened then closed. Silence enveloped her momentarily before her door opened this time and she turned in the direction of the icy draft.

  “Keep them closed.” Taking both hands in his, he helped her exit the car. The nippy winter air stung her cheeks. He led her through the snow a few feet then released her. A few moments later, his body pressed lightly against her back, and his voice came low beside her ear again. “Ready?”

  This time she couldn’t help the grin that spread across her mouth. He really enjoyed tormenting her.

  “Open your eyes.”

  When she finally did, she couldn’t believe what she saw. She stood at the end of the front walk of the house she grew up in. After she and Janey moved to Helena, it had taken her a year to find a buyer. She hadn’t seen it since she sold it seven years ago, and the sight of it took her breath away.

  It looked so much the same. The old, two-story, colonial-style house had been painted white with black shutters, with new gleaming gutters lining the roof. Her mother’s rose bushes still lined the front of the house on either side of the small front porch, larger than when she left, all of them covered now by a blanket of snow.

  Memories bombarded her. Christmases around the big tree in the living room, Thanksg
ivings with the three of them, numerous birthday cakes in the kitchen, summers in the backyard. Each one of them included her mother’s smiling face and the sound of Janey’s laughter. Her heart twisted and moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes. She hadn’t realized how much she missed this place.

  “I should never have sold it.” She still couldn’t afford to make the mortgage payments, but she should have tried harder to keep the house.

  Dillon’s hands slid onto her shoulders. “Want to go inside?”

  Confused, she turned to look back at him.

  His eyes glimmered with tenderness and a soft smile touched his mouth. He reached into his jacket pocket and extracted a set of keys, holding them up and jangling them.

  “I managed to bribe a set of keys out of the owner.”

  Somehow it didn’t surprise her. “Money talks, I guess, huh?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. Wasn’t my name that got me these keys. It was yours. Apparently, the old guy liked you.”

  The feeling had been mutual. She liked the old couple who bought the house. She sold it to them for exactly that reason, because she knew they’d take care of it, that they’d love it the way her mother had. Looking at the place now, she knew she did the right thing. It looked better than when she left.

  “Come on.” Dillon took her hand, walking slightly ahead while he led her up the front walk. He unlocked the door, and then stepped inside, pulling her in with him.

  Emma paused in the foyer, Dillon stepping up beside her. The inside looked much the same. The walls were painted a simple, clean white, the way it had always been. The wooden floors looked new, gleaming under the soft light drifting in through the windows, instead of the scuffed, dull wood she remembered. Some of the crumbling moldings had been replaced, along with the old drafty windows.

  “They moved out already?”

  “It’s been on the market for over six months. The owners moved out in June and left the keys with the realtor. Said they moved down to California. Daughter had a baby and they wanted to be closer to family.” Dillon glanced over at her and smiled. “Realtor wasn’t going to give me the keys, but I convinced her to call the owners. The old man’s a nice guy. I told him I was doing a favor for someone special.”