Cyborg

by Kaitlyn O'Connor

  The garden was beautiful, but Amaryllis wasn't currently in the mood to appreciate it. Instead of strolling down the neatly ordered walkways, she strode up and down them like a pacing tiger. She hadn't actually wanted to see the damn garden in the first place, but she was just as accustomed to being active as the men were and sitting around the house twiddling her thumbs held absolutely no appeal.

  Obviously, she would not be allowed to leave the premises alone—possibly ever, certainly not until the dust had settled on the great mating race.

  What was she to do with herself? She wondered suddenly. She'd been a soldier almost from the time she'd been released from physical therapy after the last of her operations. As often as not, it was a boring existence, but it was rare to have time on her hands and when she did that was generally filled with the search for entertainment.

  Reese had said before that she could continue to be a soldier, but then he hadn't expected the situation to be as it was and she doubted seriously he would be as willing to allow it now.

  Not that she intended to let him—or any of them—tell her what she could and couldn't do, but she was no fool. She wasn't going to put herself in a dangerously untenable position just to show them she'd do as she pleased.

  In any case, from what she could see the military had very little to do beyond police the citizens of Gallen and patrol the area surrounding the city for possible threats—and she doubted there was even much need for that.

  Reese and Dante were, she supposed, planters. She had no idea what it was that they produced, but they had a well established plantation. She'd seen the robots in the fields. She supposed Cain would find a place for himself on the plantation, as well.

  What about her? She couldn't simply reprogram like they could. Even if she could find a niche she wanted to fill, she would have to learn new skills, and who would teach her?

  Depression settled over her. She'd tried to tell them all that she wasn't suited to this sort of thing. She had NO skills beyond those she'd learned in the militia. Her childhood had been such a nightmare that she hadn't even learned the rudiments of homemaking—not that she could see much of a need for it. Dante, Reese, and Cain were completely self-reliant and efficient and they had house ‘bots in any case.

  She couldn't even cook. Unless they had no sense of taste, they were going to be vastly disappointed when it came her turn to prepare the meals.

  She had severe reservations that she could even breed right.

  She shook the thoughts off after a time, knowing that wasn't the real root of her current distress.

  Cain was.

  He was angry with her—unjustly so. She knew he was, no matter that he'd tried to pretend indifference and she knew it was because she'd been with Reese and Dante the night before, which she not only had a right to, but an obligation in the fulfillment of her contract. And she still felt guilty because he was angry. And she resented feeling guilty when she knew she hadn't done anything wrong.

  She supposed it was harder for him to adjust because he'd been created to think and respond to situations like a human and most worlds inhabited by humans still practiced monogamous unions, for the simple reason that humans were territorial by nature, especially human males. He'd even told her that he had been married before. It didn't matter that it had never really happened. In his mind, it had. In his mind he'd had a ‘normal’ union.

  That thought sparked a less palatable one.

  She knew it was completely unreasonable of her to expect him to love her—and really she didn't—but it was lowering to think he might feel no affection for her at all, because that certainly wasn't the case with her.

  Had she completely misinterpreted his behavior only because she was hurt by it? What if he wasn't angry at all, but truly indifferent? Or, perhaps, he wasn't angry in the sense that he was jealous as she'd been thinking, but resentful because he hadn't gotten his turn?

  He had such a droll way of putting things that she rarely took anything he said very seriously, but he'd said things to her several times that had suggested that he was merely shopping for a mate because he did not care to be one of the unfortunates who had to do without—which certainly seemed to imply that his main interest was in the sexual aspects of a union.

  Of course he'd also said that he was in love with her, more than once, but she knew he was teasing then and she couldn't take that seriously. She'd thought he must care at least a little, though, or he would not have insisted that he would contract to ‘protect’ her from Reese and Dante.

  Perhaps he was only angry because he could see how much she loved Dante and Reese and he thought she wouldn't honor her commitment to him? Or perhaps that she wouldn't do so with the enthusiasm that she'd shown them?

  Should she try to talk to him, she wondered, to see if he would tell her what, if anything, was wrong?

  He hadn't seemed very receptive to talking, though, and she'd never been one for approaching the unapproachable. She had a hard enough time holding up her end of a conversation when the other person was actually friendly.

  She shook her head, realizing she simply didn't understand Cain. He was far more complicated than either Dante or Reese, or he seemed so.

  Maybe she was just being paranoid and he was only preoccupied and it had nothing to do with her at all?

  When a full week passed and Cain not only failed to come to her room at night, even once, but was conspicuous by his absence during the day, Amaryllis was completely at a loss. She loved Dante and Reese and thoroughly enjoyed their time together, but she felt like she'd somehow failed Cain.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Amaryllis didn't know whether to be more amused, or more annoyed when, precisely one week after the contract signing, Reese and Dante resumed their routine of before. Obviously, Reesehad researched the customs of her home world as he'd claimed. Just as obviously, unlike his human counterparts, he was no slave to his passions.

  Not that she had any room for complaint whatsoever, but it was more than a little disconcerting to discover that he, and Dante she had to suppose, had been so attentive simply because it was the ‘custom'. They were no less passionate or affectionate afterwards when they were around, but they were rarely around. They'd dedicated the customary week, and then returned to their own interests.

  Dante, contrary to what she'd believed, had no interest in the plantation. He had sought additional programming as a physician and researcher and spent most of his day at the med center, practicing the techniques he'd downloaded in real time when he wasn't working on a research project.

  Reese's primary interest was in designing and building service droids and he was perfectly happy to turn over the running of the plantation to Cain when he discovered that Cain's interests lay in that direction.

  Cain was involved in research and development himself—research and development of marketable plants beyond those used for food and landscaping.

  Amaryllis’ personal demons came back to haunt her as soon as she found herself alone and she began a frantic search for something to keep herself occupied and her thoughts directed away from her insurmountable problem. But she knew there was little point in trying to decide on an occupation until she'd had time to research Gallen and see what they had need of, and that option wasn't open to her at the moment. Aside from the fact that Reese and Dante had both been very vocal about her leaving the plantation without escort, the government had posted warnings suggesting much the same—that women were strongly cautioned not to roam the streets of Gallen without the escort of the males of their household.

  The inactivity was boring, but she didn't particularly want the sort of action she was liable to see if she defied the warnings.

  She spent days exploring the plantation itself and came up with no ideas.

  Finally, she decided that she could at least try her hand at learning to cook. She hadn't needed the expressions on Reese and Dante's faces the one time she'd tried it to tell her that she was very bad at it.


  Since then, she'd been discontinued from the roster of cooks.

  The service ‘bot that kept the household running hadn't been designed to teach, but it had the ability to speak and respond to speech. Deciding it was worth a try, she summoned it to the kitchen and ordered it to explain the workings of the equipment. Once she thought she had a fair grasp of how each appliance worked, she demanded a list of the dishes the ‘bot had been programmed with and immediately hit a snag. Apparently, the men didall of the cooking.

  She paced the kitchen, thinking that over. “Can you jack in and download the additional programming?"

  "Affirmative. I am capable of jacking in and downloading. Limitations. I have only 150 meg available."

  Amaryllis chewed her lip, but she couldn't imagine that cooking programs would take up a lot of storage space. “Then do it."

  "Parameters?"

  Amaryllis stared at the ‘bot for several moments, feeling perfectly blank. If she said ‘everything’ the ‘bot would simply download until it ran out of storage and it could be downloading anything at all, including a number of dishes that she either couldn't handle or wouldn't be able to find the ingredients for. “Quick and simple main courses. Quick and simple side dishes using ingredients readily available in Gallen."

  "Affirmative."

  She followed the ‘bot from the kitchen and down the main hallway to the room Reese had referred to as ‘the study'. She stopped dead in her tracks when she entered the room behind the ‘bot and discovered that Cain was seated at the desk, leaning back in the chair with his long legs propped on the desk top.

  He turned to stare at her when she stopped, but otherwise gave no indication that he even realized it was she who'd stopped on the threshold. A full second passed. Slowly, he blinked, as if coming out of deep thought. Reaching up, he removed the jack he'd been using to download—something.

  One dark brow rose questioningly and Amaryllis felt color flood her cheeks. “Sorry. I didn't realize you were here."

  Something flickered in his eyes. Instead of commenting, however, he asked, “You needed something?"

  Amaryllis sucked her lower lip self-consciously. She hadn't precisely wanted to surprise everyone with a new found ability to cook. It was more that she was embarrassed that she didn't know how, and didn't have the ability that they had to simply download it. That was just the sort of thing guaranteed to make her appear incompetent and inferior in the eyes of the cyborgs.

  "Permission to download information requested by the mistress,” the ‘bot volunteered promptly.

  Amaryllis glared at the ‘bot, resisting the urge to kick it with an effort.

  Cain's feet came down from the desk. “What sort of information?” he asked sharply.

  "Instructions for preparing ‘quick and easy main courses’ and ‘quick and easy side dishes'."

  Amaryllis felt like her face had caught fire. “Never mind,” she managed to say through gritted teeth. “It isn't important. I can do this another time."

  Amusement entered Cain's eyes. “I would imagine the level of importance would depend upon who is to eat the ‘quick and easy’ dishes."

  Asif she wasn't embarrassed enough! Asif she didn't know her skills in the kitchen were pretty much non-existent! Without another word, she turned and stalked from the room, slamming the door behind her.

  He caught up with her in the foyer, grasping her arm and jerking her to a stop. She turned and gave him a ‘drop dead’ look. “You have an ungovernable temper,” he said flatly.

  "And I suppose you think you don't!” Amaryllis shot back at him.

  Something flickered in his eyes. “I generally manage to control mine—not allow it to control me."

  "No, you're just mean and nasty and insulting. You don't have to lose your temper when you're pissed off. You make everyone else lose theirs and still get the fight you wanted to provoke in the first place!"

  He studied her in tightlipped silence for several moments, but finally the anger in his eyes was replaced with wry amusement. “I'll be a far better teacher than the ‘bot,” he said finally.

  It took Amaryllis several moments to realize he was suggesting that he teach her how to cook. “Thanks, but no thanks!” she said nastily.

  His brows rose. “You have someone else offering to instruct you? Something of far greater importance pressing?"

  Amaryllis glared at him. What she really wanted to do was to go off somewhere and sulk and go over every single little snub he'd given her over the past couple of weeks, real and imagined, so she could really get herself worked up. It was purehell being a human being and having to live with a race of beings that never allowed emotion to overrule logic and reason!

  "You were busy,” she said sulkily. “I don't want to interrupt you.” Her eyes narrowed when she made the last comment. In vain, she waited for the snide remark he'd made to her before when she'd interrupted their game—'you already did'.

  His lips twitched, as if he knew exactly what she was fishing for. Releasing his grip on her arm, he held his hands wide. “As you see, I'm at your disposal."

  The temptation was so great to slug him right in the jaw that Amaryllis felt a wave of nausea wash over her when she tamped it. She really, really didn't want to go into the kitchen with him, but she was just as reluctant to bear up his low opinion of her. “Fine!” she said tightly, turning and stalking to the kitchen.

  He followed her at a leisurely pace. She was tapping her foot on the tile floor impatiently when he arrived. Ignoring the obvious signs of temper, he began by instructing her on the equipment.

  "I got that already from the ‘bot."

  He ignored that, too, continuing until he'd demonstrated each appliance. When he'd finished, he turned to look at her. “Now. We'll start with something simple. Can you boil water?"

  Her temper was already on slow boil. She gave him a narrow eyed look. “You put water in a pot and set it over the heat, right?” she said sarcastically.

  He nodded and crossed his arms. She stared back at him for several moments, but she could see he wasn't going to say anything else until she'd shown him. Snatching a pot from the rack, she filled it with water and slammed it down on the cooking top. When she'd switched it on, she stood over the pot, staring down at the water. It didn't seem to be doing much of anything. “How do you know when it's boiling?” she asked finally.

  "You could always stick your finger in it to test the temperature."

  "Very funny."

  He moved to the refrigerating unit and removed a tray of eggs. “When it's bubbling and churning."

  It was a rocky start to say the least and Amaryllis was convinced he was just trying—and succeeding really well—to make her feel stupid and useless. The lecture became more interesting, however, when he began placing the eggs in the pot and explaining the different dishes she could make with cooked eggs.

  She did so well with the first couple of recipes she tried she decided she was pretty darned good at it. She threw a grin at Cain. “This wasn't too hard."

  His lips twitched. Lifting one finger, he flicked a crumb of egg yolk off one cheek. “Aside from the kitchen looking like a battle zone, you seem to catch on quickly."

  Amaryllis glanced around self-consciously and saw that he hadn't exaggerated a great deal. “Guess I'll have to work on the technique,” she said wryly.

  He picked up a stuffed egg and held it up to her. “The real test is here—the taste."

  Amaryllis studied it doubtfully but finally took a bite. Relief flooded her. “It's good!” she said happily. “It really is. Teach me something else. Something—grander. Really impressive. Dante and Reese are going to be so surprised when...."

  It was unnerving to see how quickly he transformed from amusing companion to frozen wasteland. He smiled thinly. “Another day, perhaps. I need to get back to my study."

  Amaryllis felt her jaw go slack in stunned surprise. As he turned and strode away, she called out to him. “Cain?"

  He stop
ped at the door, turning to look at her questioningly, but his expression wasn't at all welcoming and she found she couldn't gather up the nerve to ask him what she really wanted to ask. She forced a smile. “Thank you."

  When he'd gone, she stared absently at the food on the counter for a while and finally put it into containers and set it inside the refrigerating unit. The encounter left her feeling uneasy and guilty, vaguely angry and confused.

  She missed having him to talk to, having him tease her. It had nothing to do with being lonely, or having no one to talk to now, though. It was Cain she missed and she couldn't figure out how to get through that stone wall he was steadily building between them.

  She couldn't think it was because he wanted sex and needed that outlet. If he had, he had only to ask, and he knew it. For that matter, he didn't actually have to ask. He could have come to her room.

  She'd wanted spontaneity but had realized being completely spontaneous could create problems. Reese was fighting a running battle with possessiveness. If she'd left things completely up in the air, Reese would have planted himself firmly in her bed and challenged anyone that wanted to take his place.

  She'd told both Reese and Dante that, since Gallen had an eight day week, three nights of the week were hers. Period. She could spend them alone, or, if she wanted to spend the night with one of them, she'd do the choosing. She'd given each of them a special night that would be theirs alone and the remaining two nights were up for grabs—for spontaneity.

  She had never quite gotten up the nerve to tell Cain which night was his, but she knew the three of them had discussed it. She'd heard them.

  But Cain hadn't come to claim his nights yet.

  Irritated, Amaryllis concentrated on cleaning up the worst of the mess she'd made, summoned the ‘bot to clean the rest, and went up to her room to bathe. Dante and Reese would be back soon. She might not have anything special to offer them, but she figured edible was pretty special considering her last couple of attempts to feed the crew.

  She mulled over the problem with Cain while she soaked. She wasn't much for subtlety. She far preferred just to go straight for the root of a problem and make a hole. Unfortunately, she just hadn't been able to bring herself to force a confrontation on Cain.