Pontypridd 05 - Such Sweet Sorrow

by Catrin Collier

  ‘The good thing is, they’re not giving you any time to change your mind,’ Evan commented, sensing something of the unease William was feeling.

  ‘Probably afraid to in case I do a runner.’

  ‘Best not try that, boy. I haven’t heard that they’re shooting deserters yet, like they did in the last one, but I’ve no doubt they’ll start if they think they’re losing too many.’

  ‘Salt fish and bread and butter?’ Phyllis asked as she went to the frying pan to turn the fish over.

  ‘Not this morning, thanks. I haven’t time if I’m going to tell Charlie I’m leaving before I open up the stall.’

  ‘You’re not going to be any use to your customers or Charlie on an empty stomach,’ Evan warned, ‘and Charlie’s entitled to his last two days’ work out of you.’

  ‘Small piece then, please, Phyllis.’ William glanced at the clock as he walked into the wash-house. Five o’clock. The stall should be opened at six, and it would take him an extra quarter of an hour on top of the usual half to walk down the hill and give Charlie the news.

  Tomorrow he would work on the stall from six in the morning to seven at night. It could be worse. The council had cut the town’s traders’ opening hours at the beginning of the war. Before, he’d been lucky to finish before eleven on a Saturday. The only time he’d really have to say goodbye to Tina was Sunday, and he wanted to spend some time with his mother.

  ‘Watch you pull the curtain over the door before you go out the back,’ Phyllis shouted as he pressed down the latch.

  ‘I have, but you think Dai Station would have better things to do than creep along back lanes watching people go to their ty bachs. This warden business has given every dirty old man in Ponty an excuse to turn peeping Tom.’

  Phyllis carried on cutting and buttering bread as Diana walked in, Megan following soon after. The morning rush in the house was eased by the tradition of the women washing and dressing in their bedrooms, the men in the wash-house.

  ‘What can I do?’ Megan asked.

  ‘Sit down and have breakfast,’ Phyllis suggested shyly.

  ‘No fear. I’ve never been waited on hand and foot in my life, and I’ve no intention of turning into idle crache now. If I’m going to live here, I’ll pull my weight.’

  ‘You will, soon as we’ve got this lot off to work,’ Phyllis promised, conscious that as Evan’s sister-in-law, Megan had more right to be in Evan’s house than she did.

  The door banged open and William, washed, shaved and dressed in record time, walked into the kitchen as Diana walked out.

  ‘Problems?’ Phyllis whispered as she glanced after Diana.

  ‘Probably upset at the thought of Tony getting a letter.’ William picked up a piece of bread from his plate, pushed the slice of fish Phyllis had dished out on top, folded it over and crammed it into his mouth. ‘You’d better get used to long faces,’ he mumbled after swallowing the first mouthful. ‘Ponty will soon be filled with girls mourning the loss of the handsomest man in town.’

  ‘Girls?’ Megan repeated. ‘I thought you were as good as engaged to Tina?’

  ‘That doesn’t mean that the others can’t view male perfection and dream.’

  ‘Sit down to eat, boy.’

  ‘I will now.’ He dropped his bulging sandwich on to his plate, stood behind the table and bent his knees, lowering his head so he could see his face in the mirror set over the fireplace. Buttoning on his collar, he pulled his tie around his neck.

  ‘Here, let me.’ Megan had to reach up to knot it.

  ‘My little mother.’ He patted her on the head.

  ‘Less of that. You’re not too old to have the back of my hand across your backside.’

  ‘Really?’ He picked his mother up with one hand, almost dropping her when he realised how thin she was beneath her oversized winter-weight skirt and pullover.

  ‘Bye, Mam.’ Diana returned to the kitchen and picked up her bag.

  ‘Not without breakfast,’ Phyllis pleaded.

  ‘Wyn’s coming up this morning to go through the ration books again. He always orders breakfast for both of us to be brought over from the café across the road.’

  ‘I’ll buy something in town as well, if you don’t mind, Phyllis.’ William abandoned the remains of his fish.

  ‘If you haven’t time to eat here, you won’t have time to eat in town,’ Phyllis protested.

  ‘I’ll pick up a pie and eat it as I go. Bye Mam, see you tonight.’ William bent his head and kissed his mother before diving into the wash-house to scrub his teeth with salt.

  ‘Do me a favour?’ Phyllis asked as she followed him out of the wash-house and down the passage.

  ‘For you, anything!’

  ‘Phone Bethan from Charlie’s to let her know your mam is home.’

  ‘Will do,’ he replied absently.

  ‘Try to remember. You’ve a lot on your mind.’

  ‘None of it comes before Mam,’ he called back as he ran down the steps.

  ‘You didn’t expect to go so soon, did you?’ Diana asked William as he caught up with her.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Mam’s not saying much, but she’s taken it hard. You should have written to tell her you were thinking of joining up,’ she reproached him.

  ‘I was going to. I never thought they’d release her so early.’

  ‘Just as well they did. If they hadn’t, she wouldn’t have had a chance to see you before you go.’

  ‘Leave off, Di,’ he snapped, guilt making him irritable.

  ‘Admit it,’ she pressed. ‘You never gave a thought as to how she’d take to seeing you in uniform.’

  ‘So, tell me what I can do about it now?’ he demanded testily.

  ‘You can make an effort to be more thoughtful in future.’

  ‘A guardsman’s mother’s allowance isn’t up to a wife’s, but it’s better than nothing and I’ll send Mam more when I can.’

  ‘It’s not money she needs. I can keep her on what I earn.’ She tried to forget Wyn’s warning about the shop closing.

  ‘Don’t shut me out, Di. I know I won’t be here, but I’d still like to contribute my bit.’

  ‘You will,’ she retorted acidly. ‘I know Mam. She won’t be able to stop worrying about you.’

  ‘For pity’s sake, I feel guilty enough as it is without you rubbing it in.’

  ‘I know,’ she capitulated, ashamed of herself for taking her misery over Tony’s rejection out on her brother.

  ‘Then stop harping on.’

  ‘Write, Will,’ she pleaded. ‘Every chance you get.’

  ‘I promise,’ he murmured.

  ‘See that you do. Food, rest and a quiet life without worrying about you for once, might make a difference.’

  ‘I hope so. Every time I look at her I get the urge to kill the bastards in that jail.’

  ‘Talk like that isn’t going to help Mam.’

  ‘But punching a few warders might make me feel better.’

  ‘Just as regular letters from you will make Mam feel better. What about Tina?’ she asked, changing the subject because it was too painful to dwell on her mother’s frail state of health.

  ‘Bought her an engagement ring yesterday.’

  ‘I told Mam you might,’ she smiled. ‘You talked to her father yet?’

  ‘Tonight.’

  ‘Expecting the same kind of trouble he gave Trevor Lewis when he married Laura, and Ronnie when he wanted to marry our Maud?’ She couldn’t help wondering how the senior Ronconis would have taken the news if there had been two, not one engagement planned.

  ‘Possibly,’ he answered evasively. ‘What about you and Tony?’

  ‘There is no Tony and me. I broke off with him last night,’ she revealed flatly.

  ‘But why? I thought …’

  ‘We decided with the war and everything it wasn’t going to work out for us.’

  ‘Are you sure? Look, what I said yesterday about you and Tony being too young, well, maybe I w
as being a bit hard. You don’t have to get married, you could get engaged like Tina and me …’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

  ‘Look, I know Dad died in the last war, but everyone says it’s going to be different this time. There are so many other fronts, and at the moment the boats and planes are bearing the brunt of the action. And I think they’ll go on doing so. The soldiers won’t get the hammering they did in the trenches in 1916.’

  ‘Why? Because General Powell says so?’

  ‘Diana, talk to Tony again, or let me –’

  ‘No! Absolutely not. I forbid you to say a word to Tony, or anyone. This is my business not yours.’

  ‘But you’re miserable. I can see it.’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it. Not now, or ever. Got to go, Wyn’s in ahead of me again.’

  William couldn’t stop thinking about Tony and Diana as he carried on walking down the hill. All summer it had been Tina and him, Tony and Diana. They’d spent a lot of time together, mainly in the café because Tony and Tina hadn’t been able to leave it for any length of time, but when they had managed to get away, they’d gone for walks in the park, or over Shoni’s, and once they’d even managed a trip to the pictures. The thought of Tony and Diana’s relationship ending cast a blight over his engagement to Tina.

  He paused on the Tumble. Despite Diana’s edict and the urgent need to see Charlie, he turned his steps towards the café. After fighting his way through the blackout curtain, he found Tony pouring out a trayful of teas for a tram crew. He waited until Tony had taken them through to the back room before tackling him, and when he did he saw the same miserable expression on his friend’s face that his sister had been wearing.

  ‘Did you get your orders?’

  ‘Angelo brought the letter down with him. I sent him over the station to check the timetable. There’s a train leaving just after seven on Monday morning that will get us to the camp on time.’

  ‘I didn’t think it would be so soon.’

  ‘It can’t come quick enough for me.’

  ‘About you and Diana …’ William began awkwardly.

  ‘She asked you to come here?’

  ‘No, but she told me it was over between you two.’

  ‘Did she say why?’

  ‘She said neither of you wanted to wait for the other, but that’s a load of rubbish. You’re as keen on her as I am on Tina. I know it’s none of my business, but I –’

  ‘You’re right, Will, it is none of your business,’ Tony broke in brusquely. ‘Stay out of it.’

  ‘That’s what Diana said. But don’t you see, it is my business? She’s my sister, you’re my friend …’

  ‘And we’re entitled to our privacy.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ William was taken aback by the vehemence in Tony’s voice.

  ‘Do me a favour?’

  ‘Name it.’

  ‘If you value our friendship don’t bring this up again.’

  ‘Diana would kill me if she knew I’d brought it up this once. You won’t tell her?’

  Tony shook his head. The only consolation he had was that it was going to be a lot easier to put William’s confidences out of his mind, than Diana’s.

  *……*……*

  ‘So you see I’ll only be able to work today and tomorrow.’

  ‘Thanks for stopping by to tell me.’ Charlie picked up a tray of sliced, pressed ox-tongue and slid it beneath the counter.

  William wondered what it would take to raise an eyebrow on his boss’s calm, implacable face. Perhaps Charlie would show some reaction if he announced the Germans had parachuted into Ponty park? He was almost tempted to try.

  ‘Monday morning?’ Alma chipped in. ‘They didn’t give you much time to pack.’

  ‘I thought I’d get more.’

  Alma looked at Charlie. ‘You’ll have to give up the market stall.’

  ‘I’ll telephone Cardiff when we finish this.’

  ‘Can I telephone Bethan please, Alma?’ William pulled a handful of change out of his pocket.

  ‘Of course. Nothing wrong, is there?’

  ‘No, it’s just that my mother came home yesterday.’

  ‘Your mother!’ Both Charlie and Alma smiled.

  Megan had been Charlie’s landlady before she’d lost her house along with her freedom, and Megan had been one of the few people in Pontypridd who’d had a kind word for everyone. That in itself had been enough to endear her to Alma. ‘Is she well?’

  ‘I’ve seen her looking better.’

  ‘Would it be all right for us to call in this evening to see her?’

  ‘You know Uncle Evan, open house where you two are concerned.’

  ‘Tell him we’ll be up as soon as we finish here.’

  In the event it was Andrew, not Bethan, who came to the telephone. William passed on the message, left the shop and walked through the indoor fruit market to the butcher’s market. Tonight his mother, Charlie, Alma, his uncle and Phyllis would enjoy a nice social evening. He wished he could join them instead of facing Mr Ronconi. What possible defence could he put up if Tina’s short, fat, elderly father tried to throw him out of the Ronconi house?

  ‘I hear you’re going to be my fiancé-in-law?’ Trevor Lewis grinned as he approached William’s stall.

  ‘Who told you?’

  ‘Tina, she’s been calling in on Laura on her way to work for the last month. I think she’s hoping to find a niece or nephew there one morning.’

  ‘No luck?’

  ‘If he or she doesn’t appear soon I might have to admit Laura to a lunatic asylum. But it can’t be much longer, that’s why I’m doing the shopping.’ He studied the trays of offal, scrag ends of lamb, belly pork and tripe that covered three-quarters of the stall. The better cuts were furthest from the edge, zealously guarded by William who knew how few people could afford not only the money but the coupons to buy them, and how many might be tempted to slip a choice steak or chop into a bag of sheep’s brains.

  ‘What can I do you for?’

  ‘Better make it something even I can cook, in case junior does decide to move.’

  ‘I’ve got some sausages off the coupon.’

  ‘What’s in them?’

  ‘Do you really want to know?’

  ‘No. But tell me,’ Trevor smiled maliciously, ‘you renting a suit of armour to protect yourself against Papa Ronconi’s wrath, or just wearing a tin ARP hat?’

  ‘He’s really that bad?’ William cut a string of sausages in half and pushed them on to the scale.

  ‘It took six months to recover from the hiding he gave me.’

  ‘It’s not a joking matter. What can I do if he refuses to give us his permission?’

  ‘You’ll live. Ronnie, Maud, Laura and I did.’

  ‘The question is will I live engaged to Tina, or not?’ William muttered as he wrapped the sausages.

  A market day had never dragged so long for William. It didn’t make any difference that tomorrow was going to be his last for the duration, whatever ‘the duration’ was going to be. Every few minutes he found himself studying the crowds flocking around the stalls, wondering if he’d ever see this customer, or that one – or even work on the market – again. He kept watching the door, wishing Tina would appear so he could tell her how sorry he was that they had so little time left. She finally turned up at six o’clock, her face flushed, her hair and clothes adorned by a sprinkling of raindrops.

  ‘You’re soaking you silly girl,’ he scolded. ‘Where’s your coat and umbrella?’

  ‘In the café.’

  ‘They’re not doing any good there.’

  ‘I had to see you. Any chance of you finishing early?’

  He eyed the stock on the counter. ‘I might if I start knocking the odd penny a pound off what’s left. Why?’

  ‘I told Papa you wanted to see him.’

  ‘You did what?’

  ‘I thought he might be nicer to you if he had some time to get used to the ide
a of you being in our house.’

  ‘And what did he say?’

  ‘You know Papa.’

  ‘Only by reputation, and something tells me I might not get to know him any better.’

  ‘Mama’s invited you to tea.’

  ‘I’ll have to call in home on the way.’

  ‘You don’t have to change.’

  ‘My mother’s home.’

  ‘I thought she had years left to serve.’ Tina lowered her voice, realising Megan’s sentence wasn’t the sort of thing she should be discussing in public.

  ‘Looks like they’re emptying the jails to make room for Old Nasty and his Nazis. You got to get back to the café?’

  ‘I told Tony he’ll have to manage without me for the rest of the evening. You heard about him and Diana? He’s as touchy as a winkle that’s lost its shell about it.’

  ‘So I’ve heard.’ He lifted the flap set in the counter. ‘How about giving me a hand? Sooner we sell this lot and I drop the takings off to Charlie, the sooner we can go.’

  William hardly said a word to Tina as they walked up the hill. Deciding to get engaged was one thing; asking Mr Ronconi for his daughter’s hand, quite another. He wasn’t that afraid of the man, but he’d seen him lose his temper with Angelo in the High Street café, and he’d rather Mr Ronconi’s rage was directed at someone else’s head.

  ‘Penny for them?’ Tina hugged his arm.

  ‘They’re not worth a farthing. Come and see my mother.’ He led her around the corner and up Graig Avenue.

  ‘Does she know about us?’

  ‘All that Diana knows. How much have you told your father?’

  ‘That you’re out to seduce me.’

  ‘Tina …’

  She ran up the steps to his uncle’s door, opened it, and dived through the blackout curtain. William caught up with her in the folds.

  ‘It’s like being smothered by a nun’s skirts,’ he whispered as he stole a kiss.

  ‘And what would you know about a nun’s skirts?’

  ‘They’re the same as any other woman’s only bigger.’

  She lashed out trying to hit him, accidentally swinging the curtain wide. The cry of ‘Put that bloody light out’ resounded from the street below.