Pontypridd 05 - Such Sweet Sorrow

by Catrin Collier

  ‘You’re scared, Angelo, aren’t you?’

  ‘Not me,’ he bluffed defiantly.

  ‘Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought you were, and that’s saying something. How could you let William and Tony talk you into joining up at your age? Especially now, with Laura having a baby, Ronnie gone, and Tony leaving. Who’s going to run the cafés?’

  ‘Tina and Gina will manage.’

  ‘Poor old Tina and Gina. It’s not too late. All you have to do is tell them your real age. They’d never have let you join the Guards if they knew you were only seventeen.’

  ‘I want to go.’ The music had ended and he and Diana were the only two on the floor. ‘But I’d rather you and Tony made it up before we went.’

  ‘Angelo, you’re a sweet boy, but there are some things that don’t bear meddling in, and one of them is other people’s business.’

  Diana took refuge in the toilet. Opening her bag she took out her comb and a small bottle of eau-de-Cologne. Unscrewing the top she dabbed the scent on her temples as she stared at her face in the mirror. Was it possible to tell? Were men already calling her the names they reserved for the women in station yard?

  ‘Hiding?’ Tina slammed the door against the wall as she walked in and pulled a lipstick out of her handbag.

  ‘Getting my breath. You didn’t do a good job of teaching Angelo to dance.’

  ‘He wouldn’t listen.’

  ‘I’ve hardly seen you since Thursday. It’s going to take some getting used to, you and Will engaged.’

  ‘Thanks for the bedlinen you and your mother gave us, Di. It’s gorgeous, I love the embroidery. I only wish Will and I could sleep under it tonight.’

  ‘Tina!’

  ‘Don’t pretend to be shocked. I bet you wonder what it’s like to sleep with a man as much as I do. I really wish Will and I were getting married instead of engaged.’

  ‘You will when the war is over.’ Diana’s cheeks burned as she tried to tone down the colour with lavish applications of powder.

  ‘I’d rather make it embarkation leave.’

  ‘You might be separated for a long time. Anything could happen.’

  ‘Does lecturing run in the family? You and Will are beginning to sound like my father.’

  ‘Probably only thinking of Jenny and Eddie. They rushed in and look where it got them.’

  ‘Give me credit, I’ve a lot more sense than her, and unlike Jenny who couldn’t make up her mind between Eddie and Haydn I’ve never gone out with anyone other than Will.’

  ‘I know. It’s just that …’ Diana soaked her handkerchief under the cold tap and dabbed at her eyes in an effort to stem the tears that threatened to run down her newly powdered cheeks.

  ‘I’m sorry, that was tactless. I should have remembered you and Tony,’ Tina apologised. ‘I don’t know what happened between you two, but he’s pretty cut up about it. He said you wouldn’t marry him.’

  Diana grasped the revelation, and clung to it. Tony might consider her soiled goods, but he still thought enough of her to spare her feelings. Gentleman to the last, even if he was a gentleman who didn’t want her.

  ‘It wasn’t meant to be,’ she said shortly.

  ‘It’s a shame. I rather liked the idea of you being my sister-in-law twice over.’ Tina hugged her, smearing powder from Diana’s face on to her dress.

  ‘Come on, this is your big day.’

  ‘Not the biggest, that will come when we get married.’ She stood back and eyed Diana. ‘It seems wrong to be this happy when you’re miserable.’

  ‘Whatever makes you think I’m miserable?’

  ‘Your face, and Tony’s.’

  Diana glanced in the mirror and tried to widen her smile to make it look just a little more natural. ‘How can we be miserable when we’ve got you and Will to be happy about?’

  ‘You eat any more and you’re going to be sick.’

  ‘Between you nagging and this one kicking I wouldn’t be at all surprised.’ Laura eyed Trevor warily as she stuffed half a custard-filled éclair into her mouth.

  Andrew laughed as Bethan handed Rachel back to him.

  ‘If you two want to dance I’ll have my god-daughter,’ Diana offered.

  ‘That’s right,’ Laura moaned, ‘rub it in.’

  ‘Rub what in?’ Diana asked mystified, as Andrew wrapped his arm around Bethan and led her off to dance.

  ‘The fact that Rachel’s born and this one isn’t.’

  Diana burst out laughing. ‘Judging by the size of you it really can’t be much longer.’

  ‘Cake, Mrs Lewis, Diana?’ Wyn asked arriving with a plate.

  ‘I think even Laura’s had enough,’ Trevor said as Laura blanched visibly at the array of confectionery.

  ‘I think Laura wants to go home.’

  ‘To throw up?’ Trevor suggested.

  ‘To give birth. Get Bethan.’

  ‘Laura …’

  ‘I don’t want any doctors around. Bethan and I are trained midwives, we know exactly how useless men are when it comes to the important part of having babies.’

  The party dissolved into chaos. A white-faced Trevor and unnaturally calm Bethan helped Laura to Trevor’s car. Mrs Ronconi, who’d run round in clucking, aimless circles for five minutes, insisted on climbing into the car with Bethan and Laura, despite her husband’s and Trevor’s protests that she would be more use in the restaurant. Megan, Evan and Phyllis relieved Andrew of Rachel and, offering to look after her for as long as necessary, carried her off to Charlie and Alma’s across the road. Andrew, who had decided to follow Trevor in his own car in case he was needed to run errands or help out, had started the engine before Mr Ronconi decided to run after him and beg a lift to Trevor and Laura’s, using the excuse that he’d be able to keep his wife, who was already semi-hysterical, in check. But it was obvious that he wanted to be at hand for what he hoped would be the birth of his first grandson.

  ‘I feel sorry for Laura,’ Tina said as she waved off her father and Andrew. ‘She can’t win. If she has a girl Trevor and my father will be disappointed, and if she has a boy Mama and my sisters will be upset.’

  ‘If she has any sense she’ll have a boy. Girls are useless.’

  ‘You –’ She hit William’s arm too hard for the blow to be mistaken as playfulness.

  ‘Glad to see you beginning as you mean to go on.’

  Diana stood with her arms raised so Wyn could help her on with her coat.

  ‘Don’t tell me you’re going as well?’

  ‘I promised Wyn’s sister I’d have supper with them,’ Diana apologised, knowing that she should have volunteered to help with the clearing up but feeling totally unequal to facing Tony for a moment longer.

  ‘I’m sorry, Tina, William.’ Wyn pulled an envelope from his inside pocket. ‘I know it’s customary to give the happy couple a present, but I didn’t have time to buy one, and even if I had, I wouldn’t have known what to get. So I hope you’ll take this and get something you want.’

  ‘Thank you, Wyn.’ Tina took the envelope. ‘I’ll put it in the bank, and there it will stay until we’re married. The less money William has to waste on beer before then, the better.’

  ‘I’m going to need all the beer I can get where I’m going.’

  ‘The memory of what you’ve already drunk will serve well enough.’

  ‘Bossing me around, and not even married.’

  ‘More fool you for letting her,’ Tony shouted from inside. ‘Who’s going to help me put this place back together for the morning?’

  ‘Who’s going to run it now that Laura won’t be able to?’ Gina asked.

  ‘Me,’ Tina said briskly. ‘And before you ask, you’ll have to manage the Tumble by yourself, it’s as much as Papa can do to keep the one on the Graig hill going.’ She flashed an insincere smile at Angelo and Tony who were moving tables back on to the area they had cleared for a dance floor. ‘I hope the army treats you like slaves.’

  ‘I love yo
u too, dear sister,’ Tony retorted caustically.

  ‘It will serve you right for joining up and leaving all the work to me and Gina. Oh, don’t tell me you’re going as well?’ She turned from kissing Diana goodbye to see a crowd from Leyshon Street with their coats on.

  Soon there was hardly anyone left. Glan helped William to move the last of the tables back while Gina, Tina and Maria finished the washing up.

  ‘We could go to Charlie’s to say goodbye,’ William suggested when even Tina was finally satisfied with the state of the place.

  ‘You go ahead.’ Tony gave Glan a hard look as he moved close to Gina. ‘I’ll see Gina and the children home. And if you call in Laura’s, tell Mama I’ll see that they’re all in bed on time.’

  ‘Tony,’ Alfredo whined.

  ‘Ten minutes sooner for anyone who whinges.’

  ‘Thanks, Tony.’ William fetched Tina’s coat.

  ‘I hate saying goodbyes,’ Tina said fiercely as he draped it over her shoulders. ‘I always end up crying and making a fool of myself.’

  ‘You’d better get used to them.’ William opened the door and stepped out into the street. ‘Something tells me there’s going to be a lot more goodbyes before this war is over. But, to look on the bright side, there should be an equal number of hellos.’

  ‘Not necessarily to people we want to see.’

  ‘You thinking of the Germans?’ he asked as he closed the door behind them.

  ‘Among others.’

  ‘They wouldn’t dare invade Wales.’

  ‘Who’s going to stop them?’

  ‘We are.’

  ‘In France? Hasn’t it occurred to you brave volunteers that all we’ll have left to protect us when you’re gone are the Home Guard and people like Dai Station who are only good at bullying children and little old ladies who’ve forgotten to pull their blackout curtains?’

  ‘And hasn’t it occurred to you that in order to reach here, Hitler’s army will have to go through our forces in France, which is why we volunteered?’

  ‘What’s to stop them going round you?’

  ‘The Dutch and Belgian armies.’

  ‘Seems to me they didn’t do much stopping last time.’

  ‘That was last time, this is now.’

  ‘Well I’ve news for you, you’ll never make General. It’s obvious to anyone with ears, eyes and a brain in their head that Hitler is going to invade us.’

  ‘He told you?’

  ‘Very funny. Better men than you must think he’s on his way. Why else would they erect barbed-wire barriers on all the beaches? Just think of the money they could have saved by not bothering, and then there’s the cost of issuing all the gas masks, and warnings to dig shelters …’

  ‘The shelters and gas masks are only precautions in case Hitler decides to bomb us. And if you want my opinion I don’t think he’ll do that either.’

  ‘Why not? According to Eddie he’s already dropping leaflets.’

  ‘There’s a world of difference between leaflets and bombs.’

  ‘I wonder if the army will be able to teach you what it is?’ she asked innocently as he knocked on the door set to the side of Charlie’s shop.

  Charlie ran down the stairs to let them in, his square jawed, normally pale skin flushed, William assumed, by a liberal helping of vodka.

  ‘Came to say goodbye,’ William explained as Charlie ushered them in. ‘I won’t get a chance tomorrow.’

  ‘The best way is with a toast,’ Charlie declared as he led the way up the stairs to his living room. ‘Wine or vodka?’

  ‘Wine please, Charlie.’ Tina followed William into the apartment over Charlie’s shop. It was the first time she’d been in Charlie and Alma’s home and she was amazed, not by the furniture, which was old, dark and conventional but by the fabric Alma had used to cover the table, easy chairs and sofa. A swirling pattern in blue, red and green it dominated the room, lending it an exotic, Eastern atmosphere.

  ‘Striking, isn’t it?’ Alma asked when she saw Tina staring. ‘One of Charlie’s Russian friends gave us a bale as a wedding present. I’ve grown to like it, but it might be as well that my mother is blind.’ There was a ghost of a smile hovering around her mouth and Tina wasn’t sure whether she was serious or not.

  Charlie went to the sideboard and pulled out bottles of wine and vodka. He opened the wine while Alma fetched glasses for Tina and William. Topping up Phyllis, Alma and Megan’s glasses of wine, he poured out some for Tina. Handing them over he solemnly poured another helping of lemonade into the tiny glass Alma had given Brian. Brian turned his eyes to Evan, seeking approval. Evan nodded and Brian picked up the glass, but he didn’t drink it. Like the women he held back, sensing that something important was about to happen. Charlie pulled the cork on the vodka bottle and poured out three half-tumblerfuls. William, who’d drunk vodka once or twice before at Charlie’s instigation, blanched when he saw the measures, but he still took the tumbler.

  Surprisingly ceremonious for once, Charlie lifted his glass to the room and to Rachel who was sleeping in a basket in the corner. ‘To life, to us and victory for the Allies.’

  They all raised their glasses.

  ‘And to William and Eddie, the best men I could have hoped to have had working for me, and to us working together again at the end of the war.’

  ‘I’ll drink to that.’ Evan made a wry face as the vodka disappeared down his throat.

  Charlie put down his empty glass and picked up the bottle ready to refill his and Evan’s glass. William hung on to his tumbler as he walked over to Alma. ‘Am I allowed to kiss the boss’s wife goodbye?’

  She hugged him. ‘You take care of yourself.’

  ‘I’m only going training. I’ll see you again before I get sent overseas.’

  ‘You can still take care.’

  He turned to Charlie. His boss was only nine years older than him, but perhaps because he had been Evan’s friend first, he had always seemed older, more mature like his uncle. William held out his hand but Charlie ignored it. Lifting him off his feet he crushed him in a bear hug.

  ‘See you back at the house,’ Evan said as William turned away so no one would see the emotion mirrored on his face. William reached for Tina’s hand, calling a last goodbye as he led her out of the room and down the stairs.

  Chapter Seven

  ‘Myrtle, I told you that we’d be eating at the party,’ Wyn admonished his sister when he saw the table in the parlour laid with enough sandwiches and slabs of cake to feed a dozen people.

  ‘I wasn’t sure how much you’d eat there.’ She turned to Diana, her soft, grey eyes clouded with resignation and exhaustion. ‘Pleased to meet you.’

  ‘I’ve heard a lot about you.’ Diana pulled off her glove and shook Myrtle’s hand.

  ‘You should have laid this in the kitchen, Myrtle.’

  ‘Dad wouldn’t hear of it, and you know what he can be like.’

  Wyn nodded grimly as he helped Diana off with her coat. ‘I suppose I’d better introduce you, but I warn you now, he can be difficult, and downright rude.’

  ‘It’s the pain,’ Myrtle apologised, with a readiness that revealed that she was accustomed to making excuses for her father. ‘He suffers constantly and it wears him down. It’s no wonder he gets cross occasionally.’

  ‘When doesn’t he get cross?’

  ‘Wyn!’ Myrtle reproached her brother with an expression that reminded Diana of a whipped puppy.

  Diana followed Wyn into the middle room. The first thing that struck her was the smell. A dense, sickroom odour of medicines and liniment mixed with cabbage and stewed tea; stale scents that lingered, imprisoned in the atmosphere. It was difficult to resist the temptation to rush to the window, haul down the casement and allow in draughts of cool, fresh air.

  ‘Dad,’ Wyn led Diana to the bed pushed close to the fire. ‘This is Diana, who works in the High Street shop.’

  ‘I’m very pleased to meet you, Mr Rees.’ Diana offered her
hand to the withered figure sunk deep in immaculate, linen-sheathed pillows. She took the fleshless claw he presented, and shook it. His skin was sallow, yellowed by sickness and stretched as dry and lifeless as old parchment over his skull. But there was nothing frail or sick about his eyes. Dark, alive, they rolled in their sockets like cockroaches trapped in sour milk, absorbing every detail: her clothes, her hair, the expression on her face as she glanced at his son.

  ‘I can’t tell you how pleased I am to meet you after all this time. Tell me,’ he demanded in a high-pitched voice, ‘when’s the big day?’

  ‘Pardon?’ Diana blanched, wondering how this old man, locked up as he was in this sickroom, had heard about her and Tony Ronconi.

  ‘Dad!’ Wyn protested furiously.

  ‘I told you I wanted a daughter-in-law. Well, this one looks healthy enough. What are you waiting for, boy? Don’t tell me you haven’t asked her yet?’

  ‘That’s my business.’

  ‘It’s family business,’ his father contradicted sharply. ‘And if I’ve warned you once I’ve warned you a dozen times, I’ll disown you if you don’t marry, and soon. I’ll cut you out of my will, I’ll –’

  Diana retreated to the parlour as the old man’s ravings grew louder and more insistent.

  ‘Please, sit down, make yourself at home,’ Myrtle gabbled red-faced, before running past her to help her brother try to quieten the old man. Diana hesitated for a moment, then closed the door. The last thing she wanted to do was eavesdrop on the ugly scene. The noise the old man was making filled the house. Feeling a certain sympathy for whoever lived next door, she crouched in front of the fire, picked up the poker and, without thinking, broke the crust of small coal that was keeping the fire in. Flames darted high, dancing up the chimney, reminding her of the fires she had stared into as a child on cold winter evenings. William and her sitting side by side, sharing their father’s easy chair as they had gazed at reddish-gold plumes and sparking fountains spurting between banks of glowing coals, seeing knights mounted on magnificent horses, towering castles, beautiful damsels in distress and evil, people munching dragons. The last image had been one of William’s inventions – she had always looked for the fairy-like and ethereal; he, the grotesque and evil.