Pontypridd 05 - Such Sweet Sorrow

by Catrin Collier

  ‘Breakfast?’

  Eddie, who’d only fallen asleep as dawn broke, opened one eye to see Jenny, still in her nightdress, standing next to the bed with a tray in her hands.

  ‘I’ve raided the shop. There’s eggs, toast, sausages – tinned, I’m afraid – and jam. And tea of course.’

  ‘Thank you.’ He struggled to sit up. The bedclothes fell back, and a cold draught blew across his shoulders.

  ‘If you clear the clock away I’ll put the tray down on the bedside table, and get back into bed.’

  He did as she asked, conscious that when she climbed in beside him she left her nightdress on.

  ‘Here put the tray between us, and I’ll feed you.’

  ‘No one’s done that since I was a baby,’ he laughed.

  ‘Open your mouth.’ She spooned egg into it. ‘Good?’

  ‘Not bad.’

  ‘Do you realise this is the first time I’ve cooked for you?’

  ‘I hope I survive the experience.’

  ‘I’m a good cook,’ she informed him gravely.

  ‘Let’s hope we have the time one day for you to prove it to me.’

  ‘It is going to be all right between us from now on, isn’t it, Eddie?’

  ‘Do you want it to be all right because I’m all you’ve got left?’ he asked, looking into her eyes.

  ‘You mean because my mother’s dead and my father’s …’

  ‘Ill,’ he said for her. He saw the pain in her eyes, but some devil in him prompted him to press her. ‘What happens when I go back?’

  ‘I’ll run the shop, write to you, hoping I’ll get an answer. Wait for you to get leave, and …’

  ‘Go out once in a while to meet people?’

  ‘Hope that I have a baby to keep me in at nights.’

  ‘A baby!’

  ‘You don’t want children?’

  ‘Now doesn’t seem a good time to have them. Not with a war on.’

  ‘There’s never been a good time to have a baby.’

  ‘I’d like to wait until I’m in a steady job and we have our own place.’

  ‘This is our place. My father always said he’d leave it to me. And if they do let him out next year, he’s not going to be able to run the shop and look after himself, so he’s going to have to live with us. You don’t mind, do you?’

  ‘At the moment I have nothing to mind about.’

  ‘You’d better eat that before it gets cold.’ She sat up and tugged her nightdress over her head, pulling the sheet up so it covered her breasts. ‘Ever since you joined up I’ve dreamed of your first leave, but I· never imagined it quite like this.’

  ‘How was it different?’ he asked, buttering a piece of toast and loading it with egg before pushing it into his mouth.

  ‘You were different. More trusting, more loving I suppose. I should have known I didn’t deserve it. Not after the way I treated you.’

  ‘Jenny …’

  ‘No, please let me finish. I’ve seen what bottling things up can do to a marriage. I’d rather have everything out in the open now, even if it means losing you, than go on the way I was, not knowing one way or another. I was a fool, Eddie. I fell in love with Haydn when I was thirteen, and carried on being in love, not with him, but the idea of him. Then there was you, and one thing you have to believe – no one, and I mean no one, not even Haydn ever made me feel the way you do. You’re the only man I’ve ever made love to, the only man I want in my bed. Eddie, how much plainer can I make it?’ Her blue eyes blazed in anger. She looked as though she were about to hit him.

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘Angry. It suits you.’

  ‘Damn you, Eddie, do you have to joke about everything?’

  He scooped more egg on to his toast.

  ‘Eddie, either you tell me what you’re thinking or get out of my bed this minute.’

  He looked up at her, realising that she was deadly serious. ‘Then you do love me?’

  ‘I’ve been trying to tell you that one way or another since you left. The question is, do you love me?’

  He picked up the tray and returned it to the bedside table.

  ‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’

  ‘I’ll go along with that.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘What you just said.’

  ‘I asked if you loved me?’

  ‘Something like that.’

  ‘Eddie … say it. Just this once, please say it?’

  Grabbing her, he kissed her.

  ‘You taste of tea, cigarettes and egg,’ she gasped when he allowed her to come up for air.

  ‘And you taste of toothpaste and smell of Pear’s soap.’

  ‘You still haven’t said it.’

  ‘I love you, Mrs Powell. Just don’t expect me to say it all that often.’

  ‘Just once a day for the rest of our lives.’

  ‘I won’t be here.’

  ‘You can write.’

  ‘Not that. Not with the officers reading every bloody word when they censor my letters.’ He tossed the bedclothes aside and leaned on his arm looking down at her.

  ‘We can work out a code.’

  ‘Like?’

  ‘Just two words, for ever?’

  ‘For ever.’ He gazed into her eyes as he caressed her. For the first time in his married life he was about to make love not have sex with his wife. And at that moment that was just how long he wanted his marriage to last – for ever.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ‘Leave the blinds,’ Gina ordered as Luke stepped behind her into the café. ‘Let’s go and see what’s in the kitchen.’

  ‘Won’t your father miss the food?’ Luke asked nervously, afraid of being found out. He could imagine his own father’s reaction if he’d discovered that one of his sisters had sneaked off to be alone with a boy, and he felt that the Papa Ronconi of formidable reputation and legendary temper would have every right to be just as furious.

  ‘Papa doesn’t know what’s here from one day to the next. Oh fantastic, there’s eggs. Thank goodness for all the people who keep chickens on the Graig, and there’s bread. It’s a bit hard but I can toast it. How does fried eggs on toast sound to you?’

  ‘Wonderful if you’re sure the eggs won’t be missed.’

  ‘Tea, coffee or hot chocolate?’

  ‘I’ve never tried coffee or hot chocolate.’

  ‘It’s time you did. Come and talk to me while I cook.’

  He followed her into the kitchen. She slipped a white overall over her clothes and began by breaking eggs into a bowl. A frying pan was already smoking lightly on the gas as a lump of lard dissolved over the heat.

  ‘Can I do anything?’

  ‘Slice the bread if you like. You do know how?’

  ‘My mother taught us all to cook, boys as well as girls. She said it might come in useful if no one wanted to marry us.’

  ‘Wise woman.’ Gina tipped the eggs into the pan. ‘This is more fun than mass.’

  ‘I haven’t been to a meeting since I came here. I don’t even know if there is a Quaker meeting house in Pontypridd.’

  ‘We’ll have time to make up for our sins of omission when we’re old and grey.’ She took the bread and pushed it under the grill.

  He summoned all his courage. ‘Together?’ he ventured uncertainly.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘I love you, Gina,’ he blurted out clumsily.

  ‘I know,’ she assured him blithely. ‘I knew it the first moment I saw you.’

  ‘And you?’

  ‘Can’t have you getting big-headed, now can I?’

  ‘That was a good dinner, Diana.’ Evan took his pipe and sank back into his chair. Brian, still clutching the tin car Eddie had given him, climbed on to his lap and reached for a picture book on the windowsill. He opened it out and looked expectantly to his father.

  ‘No peace for the wicked,’ Phyllis smiled as Evan turned t
o the first page.

  ‘I agree with Dad, that wasn’t bad, Di,’ Eddie complimented her as he pushed his chair away from the table.

  ‘Not bad? I’d like to see you do better,’ she retorted.

  ‘It’s almost like the old days with you two arguing.’ Bethan handed Rachel to Megan so she could help Phyllis and Diana with the dishes.

  ‘Thank you for the meal, Mrs Powell. If you’ll excuse me I think I’ll go for a walk down town.’

  ‘To the café?’ Diana teased.

  A deep blush spread over Luke’s cheek. He wondered if Diana had seen him and Gina leave the High Street café. Not that they’d done anything wrong. He hadn’t attempted to kiss Gina and she hadn’t kissed him again after that once on the mountain, but he still felt guilty, sensing that he’d done something Mr Ronconi would have every right to be furious about.

  ‘If you hang on, Jenny and I will walk down with you.’

  ‘I thought you two would be a bit past courting in the café.’ Diana stacked the plates and carried them through to the wash-house.

  ‘I have a letter for Tina.’

  ‘I’ll give it to her,’ Alexander offered.

  ‘No, it’s all right, the park’s open until dark.’ Eddie winked at Jenny. ‘We thought we might do a spot of remembering.’

  Evan pretended he hadn’t heard, but he didn’t fool Bethan. She could see the smile hovering at the corners of his mouth. She only hoped that her father’s faith in Eddie was justified. Haydn might be the one on stage, but both her brothers had proved themselves consummate actors in the past.

  ‘Why don’t you come to the café, Diana?’ Alexander said persuasively. Diana had walked down the hill with them, but not to visit the café. She had promised to call in on Wyn’s sister, and intended to do just that.

  ‘Come on, Di, I’ve hardly seen you since I’ve been back, and I’m leaving the day after tomorrow.’ Eddie added his voice to Alexander’s.

  ‘Just one coffee,’ she capitulated, ‘then I really must visit Myrtle.’

  ‘How is Wyn?’

  ‘Not very good. He’s finding it difficult to come to terms with his injuries, but I think he’s even more devastated at not being able to join the army.’

  ‘Tell him he’s not missing much. The army’s not all it’s cracked up to be.’ Eddie pushed open the door.

  ‘Eddie!’ Tina ran from behind the counter and kissed him on the cheek. ‘I heard you were home, but I didn’t think you’d have time to call in here,’ she said with a sly glance at Jenny.

  ‘William would have shot me if I hadn’t.’

  ‘You’ve seen Will? But I thought you were in France?’

  ‘I was, but I came home via the base camp. Here.’ He produced a letter from his tunic pocket and handed it to her.

  ‘That’s the last we’ll see of her for an hour,’ Gina complained as Tina disappeared into the kitchen.

  ‘I’ll give you a hand.’ Luke went behind the counter as though he worked there every night.

  ‘It’s easy to see what you two have been doing since you’ve come to Pontypridd,’ Eddie commented as he watched Gina squeeze Luke’s hand. He eyed Alexander, waiting to see if he’d follow Tina into the back, but he stood in front of the counter and put his hand in his pocket.

  ‘Coffee all round?’

  ‘Just one, then Jenny and I have to go.’

  A man lurched out of the back room. Staggering to the counter he elbowed Alexander aside. Diana turned pale and Eddie gave the drunk a hard look, recognising Dai Station.

  ‘I want to pay,’ Dai slurred, swaying on his feet.

  ‘Be with you in a moment,’ Gina answered as she continued pouring out coffees.

  ‘I said I want to pay,’ he shouted contentiously.

  ‘I’ll be with you right away, sir.’ Gina left the coffees to Luke and went to the till.

  Eddie had been watching Luke, but to his amazement it was Alexander who stepped in front of Dai.

  ‘May I suggest you pay your bill, and leave quietly, sir?’ Alexander asked politely.

  ‘Bloody conchie, I don’t have to ask what you’re doing here with these bloody foreigners. Mussolini’s arse-lickers …’

  ‘Less of your language, you’re in mixed company,’ Eddie warned, pushing Jenny behind him as he walked to the counter.

  ‘That will be two and threepence please, sir,’ Gina murmured nervously as she opened the till.

  ‘Bloody people like you should pay us Welsh to come in your cafés.’ Dai lurched towards the till, fingers spread as though he intended to scoop the coins out of the cash drawers. Alexander held him back just as Eddie drew alongside them.

  ‘Shut the till and go into the kitchen, Gina,’ Alexander ordered softly.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Tina was standing in the kitchen doorway trying to sound braver than she felt.

  ‘And who do you think you are? Bloody…’

  ‘I’ve told you once. Gentlemen don’t swear in front of ladies.’

  Dai turned to Eddie, seeing his uniform for the first time. ‘You’re a soldier?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be in here. These people are foreigners. You could give away secrets,’ he mumbled.

  ‘These people are as Welsh as you and me, Dai,’ he replied with a coolness that amazed Diana and Jenny. Hot-headed, angry with the world Eddie had finally learned to keep his temper in check.

  ‘They’re not!’ Dai protested.

  ‘I promise you they are, and I’ll tell you something else, I think you’ve had a skinful. Now why don’t you go home and sleep it off before a copper runs you in.’

  ‘You can’t tell my mate what to do just because you’re wearing a bloody uniform.’ Three porters from the station were standing in the archway that separated the front of the café from the back.

  ‘Just giving him some advice.’

  ‘Doesn’t sound like it to me,’ one of them said belligerently.

  ‘No one wants any trouble,’ Eddie replied.

  ‘Then why don’t these buggers go back where they belong? They’re not wanted here.’

  ‘You don’t like the café, you stay away,’ Tina intervened forcefully.

  ‘You’ve no right to be here, taking money out of honest Welsh people’s pockets.’ Without warning Dai swept his arm across the counter, knocking over the four-tiered glass case that held the cakes. It shattered, sending glass splinters showering across the floor. Women screamed as they jumped up and ran from their tables, adding to the general confusion.

  Eddie grabbed Dai. Pinning his arms behind his back he held him face down over the nearest table.

  ‘No one, soldier or not, does that to my mate.’ One of the porters swung a punch at Eddie that Alexander intercepted. Diana ran to the door, opened it and shouted ‘Police!’ She turned in time to take the full force of a blow that one of the men had intended to plant on Alexander, who’d ducked to avoid it.

  Until then Eddie had kept his temper under control. By the time Huw Davies had run up from the Criterion doorway where he’d been talking to the minister of Penuel chapel, Eddie had knocked out the porter who’d hit Diana. Realising he was no longer restrained, Dai Station picked up a chair and smashed it against the wall. Wielding a broken leg like a club, he turned on Eddie. Diving forward, Luke picked up another chair and pinned Dai to the wall with the legs.

  ‘Lion tamer act?’ Huw asked Luke after he’d blown his whistle to summon assistance.

  ‘For Christ’s sake they’re only bleeding, bloody Eyeties …’ Dai mumbled, his voice slowing like a gramophone in need of rewinding.

  Huw looked from Dai to the two men Eddie had cornered, and the one laid out cold on the floor. His experienced eye missed nothing: the broken glass and squashed cakes littering the café, the wrecked furniture, the bruise spreading darkly across Diana’s cheek. Pulling out his notebook he began to write slowly and ponderously, detailing the charges as he inscribed them. ‘Criminal damage… drunk a
nd disorderly … swearing … blaspheming – and on the Sabbath, tut tut,’ he shook his head as he looked at Dai before continuing: ‘conduct likely to cause a breach of the peace … assaulting an innocent bystander …’ he studied Diana who was sitting in a chair being tended to by Tina and Jenny. ‘Are you going to have a shiner tomorrow, sunshine! Call out Dr John,’ he directed one of the younger constables who appeared in the doorway.

  ‘There’s no need. I’ll be fine,’ Diana protested.

  ‘Routine, love. That injury is evidence. Trouble seems to follow you, Eddie. You haven’t been home twenty-four hours and look what you’ve got yourself into.’

  ‘It was all Dai Station’s doing,’ Gina said warmly. ‘He wouldn’t pay his bill and he made a grab for the till when it was open. Then he smashed the cake case.’

  ‘Attempted theft …’ Huw continued scribbling. ‘Boy, we’re going to throw the book at you, Dai, and toss away the key.’

  ‘Has this sort of thing happened before?’ Eddie asked after Huw and two other constables had loaded the drunks into the Black Maria and Dr John had come and gone.

  ‘Insults because we’re Italians?’ Tina asked as she saw the last customer out of the café and locked the door.

  ‘There’s been a bit of trouble,’ Alexander admitted.

  ‘So that’s why you and Luke come down here so often?’

  ‘Luke has his own reasons.’ Alexander swept the last of the broken glass into a dustpan Luke was holding for him.

  ‘You’re handy with your fists. Glad you were on my side.’

  ‘A public school education has some advantages.’

  ‘Perhaps you and I should have a match some time.’

  ‘Eddie was on the point of becoming a professional boxer before the war,’ Jenny said proudly.

  ‘You all right, Di?’ Eddie asked, concerned at the swelling that was still rising on Diana’s cheek despite the ice-cream poultice Dr John had suggested.