Rebel Dreams

by Patricia Rice

  His broad hand was almost comforting, but his words brought Evelyn’s head up with a snap. When she tried to pull away, the comforting arm became a band of steel.

  “You are mad! Let go of me this instant! I no more want marriage than you do. I’ll not be forced any further, Alex. I don’t think I can bear it.”

  Alex turned her around and lowered his lips to hers. “I’ll not force you, little tyrant,” he murmured against her mouth. “I’ll never force you. There’s no need to. See?”

  His mouth fastened to hers, plying her with soft kisses, caressing her lips with his tongue. Evelyn tried to ward him off, but he had fed her dangerous addiction to his caresses too well. He made no aggressive moves but kissed her until she had to bring her hands to his chest to keep her balance. The heat of his skin beneath the fine cambric effectively melded her in place, and her head slanted to better receive his kisses.

  She shuddered as his tongue took advantage of the opening between her lips. She closed her eyes and allowed the searing invasion. His breath quickened as well as her own, heightening her excitement. His heart beat faster as he drew her closer, and his kiss became more demanding.

  Alex’s muffled groan brought Evelyn back to her senses, what few of them remained. She wanted the comfort of his embrace, but not at the cost of all her principles. She turned her head away from the drug of his mouth but could not yet summon the strength to push from his hold. His kisses strayed across her hair as she leaned into him.

  “Alex, this is impossible. We would do better walking back to town than remaining here.”

  His hand ran up her spine, pressing her closer into the curve of his body as he sought the pins securing the heavy masses of her hair. “The result would be the same, my dear. You’re quite properly ruined in the eyes of the world whether you spend the night in my bed or on the road. Let’s not fight it anymore.”

  A knock on the door warned that supper had arrived. Evelyn pushed away and began to arrange her hair.

  The cook’s sly looks as she took in their disheveled state was embarrassing. Alex sent the cook away as soon as the table was laid. Studying her as if he was as hungry for her as the food, he pulled out a chair and gestured for her to sit.

  With the safety of an entire table between them, Evelyn sat. She had shared a dinner table with Alex many times, but never alone and not like this. Wearing no coat and with his shirt unfastened, he lost his elegant facade and became pure raw male. She was aware of his stubbornly square chin, and the dangerous flash of his eyes. Lowering her gaze, she couldn’t avoid noticing the capability of wide, strong hands as they manipulated his fork and knife. She knew what those hands could do to her.

  “You’re not eating,” he said.

  “I’m not hungry.” She pushed away her plate and clasped her hands in her lap, not looking at him.

  “If you don’t eat, I’ll assume you’re eager to share my bed, and I will gladly oblige.” Alex sliced off a piece of beef and put it in his mouth.

  Evelyn sent a nervous glance to the large bed with the covers thrown back. She reached for her glass of water and sipped at it.

  “I would have suggested wine as the better choice, but I doubted that our hostess had anything potable to offer. There’s a pitcher of ale. Have some. It will relax you.”

  “I don’t want to be relaxed,” she said sharply. “And I don’t intend to share a bed with you. The world can believe as it wishes. I don’t know what’s the matter with you tonight. You behave as if it’s my fault that we were tricked out here and our horses stolen. You would do better to apply your thoughts to who would do that and why.”

  “I have a very good idea who would do that and why. I apologize for not considering this solution to your dilemma earlier, but I have a rather narrow-minded aversion to marriage. Now that the choice has been made for me, I can see that you are quite right. We shall suit nicely as soon as I rid you of a few missish inhibitions.”

  Evelyn’s stomach contracted painfully. “I don’t know why I stand accused of this atrocity. What have I ever done to make you believe this of me?”

  Wearily Alex dismissed the subject with a wave of his hand. “It’s no matter. I daresay you have done us both a favor. My family has been trying to marry me off for years. They will gladly lend their influence to catch the real perpetrators and clear your name. In the meantime, you can return to England with me. The court won’t be able to reach you there, and even if it does, my family will see the fine paid before letting you go to jail. The solution is ingenious and requires only delicacy of timing. We can cry the banns when we return, and pray one of my cousin’s ships arrives before you have to go to jail. With any luck, we will be married between the two.”

  Evelyn continued eating just to keep him talking and delay the fight to come. “There is only one problem, my friend. I refuse to marry you.”

  A pained smile twisted Alex’s lips. “Just once, I would like to hear a woman say yes to my proposal. This continual rejection is damaging to a man’s pride. Come now, you are only playing with your food. Share my ale and be sensible.”

  She sipped gingerly at the warm ale. She could not imagine any woman rejecting his suit. Perhaps he was not precisely the suave, debonair type, but she preferred his rough-hewn features. True, there was a hard look about his eyes that could make a woman shiver when he was angry, yet now the hardness seemed turned only on himself.

  She felt no danger, though the evidence of his greater strength was displayed in the breadth of his shoulders and chest as he sat relaxed with one arm over the chair back. No, he was certain to attract his fair share of women, particularly with title and wealth at his fingertips.

  “I am being sensible,” she told him coldly. “I don’t belong in England. You do. Tell me about the other women who rejected your proposals. I am certain they did not reject you.”

  Those black eyes gave her an odd look. “I was only sixteen when the first woman rejected me. I find it difficult to discriminate between rejections of my person and my proposals. Perhaps you could enlighten me on the difference?”

  Evelyn sipped her ale and tried to ascertain how much of his speech was glib words and how much an honest reaction. She had not known Alex to dissemble. “If you were a colonist, if you were not heir to an earldom, if you were an honest workingman, I would be a fool to reject your proposal. But I cannot live in England away from my family and friends, and I cannot live the idle life of a countess. It is the outcome of our marriage that I object to, not you.”

  A smile twisted Alex’s lips as he leaned forward. “So, if I were to stay here and tell my cousin to find another heir, you would consent to marry me?”

  She had trapped herself with that one. Giving up any pretense of eating, Evelyn tried to honestly determine the answer. Her physical reaction to the idea of spending the rest of her nights in his bed screamed “Yes, yes!” but lust had little to do with logic. Would he make a good husband and good father? She saw the eager gleam in his eye and her heart lurched.

  “I’ve never thought of you in that way before. It’s very hard to think of you as a man who comes home to his tiny house after a hard day’s work, hugs his children, and kisses his wife. You told me you never wanted marriage and children. I would have to turn my thinking around to give you an answer.”

  “So would I, I fear.” Alex sat back. “I’m not that man and never will be. You made no mention of love. Shouldn’t that be a deciding factor?”

  Evelyn met his gaze squarely. “If a man and a woman like and respect each other, love will grow with time. I think friendship and respect should be the deciding factor.”

  Interest flared in his eyes before he replaced it with his usual bland expression. “That’s a fascinating theory. How do we know if we’re friends?”

  “I had thought we were, but a friend does not force a friend to do what she does not want. This does not solve the problem of why we are here or how we are to get home.”

  Alex rose from the table and he
ld out his hand to her. “I’m no longer interested in hows and whys. It is very possible that I could spend the entire evening conversing with you, but we have a lifetime for that, and I have more urgent matters on my mind. Don’t be shy, little tyrant. You are too intelligent and sensible to fight the inevitable.”

  She remained seated. “You are not the inevitable. Weren’t you the one who once said he’d rather spend a few months in jail than a lifetime in marriage?”

  Alex lifted her from her chair. “The consequences of my hasty tongue often haunt me. And a man can deal with a life behind bars easier than a woman. You’re not going to jail. You’re going with me.” He wrapped his arms around her and met her gaze. “I’ll show you that it won’t be an entirely unpleasant fate.”

  When he bent to start his kisses again, Evelyn knew the desperation of her plight. She turned her head away and pushed futilely against his chest. “This is humiliating, Alex. Haven’t I endured enough humiliation these last weeks?”

  Irritated, Alex dropped his hold and glared at her. “Now I am humiliating. Are there any further insults you wish to hurl at me before I take you to bed?” He caught her chin and forced her to look up at him. “I am taking you to bed, Evelyn. There’s nothing you can do or say to change that. I’ve done my best to play the part of gentleman for two months now. You’ve driven me insane with your kisses, but I’ve respected your wishes. Tonight that’s all changed. Tonight we’ll see where those kisses lead.”

  He brushed her cheek, and she felt longing build inside her. He did not even need to kiss her to stir these mad desires. She wanted to be in his arms, feel his caresses, and discover where they led, just as he promised. Suddenly it did seem quite inevitable. Captivated by the almost tender look on his face, Evelyn licked her lips nervously.

  Her voice cracked as she spoke. “Alex, I’m terrified. I have no experience at this sort of thing. You said to look upon it as our wedding night, but I do not even have a gown, much less a trousseau. Isn’t the groom supposed to leave his bride alone to prepare? There are certain necessary . . .” She waved her hand awkwardly, seeking the polite word. “. . . functions,” she added lamely, “or do they not matter when we . . . ?” She gave up in disgust. “I need to wash, at least.”

  Amusement played along his handsome lips. “I apologize, my love. I’m new at this business of seducing virgins. We’ll have to learn together.” He slid his hand along her cheek and buried his fingers in her hair. “I tend to be impatient and hasty. You will need to slow me down when I go too fast for you. I’ll send that hideous old woman up to clear the table and bring you some warm water. That will give you some privacy. Don’t look at me like that, Evelyn. I do think of you as my wife.”

  He bent and placed a chaste kiss upon her nose, and before Evelyn could believe it was true, he was gone from the room.

  She hadn’t realized how much she felt his proximity until the room was empty. She stared at the shadowy four walls in bewilderment, wondering where this aching emptiness had come from. She felt certain it hadn’t been there when she arrived earlier in the afternoon. Or had it? There had been fear and hope then, but hadn’t she carried an eagerness that had more to do with Alex than the news she hoped to hear?

  The old woman arrived to carry away the tray, jarring Evelyn back to reality. Alex wouldn’t take no for an answer. He had warned her that he wasn’t a gentleman, and now she knew what he meant. She had a choice now of running away into the darkness of unknown woods or staying here to be ruined. The gun wasn’t an alternative. He knew she wouldn’t use it on him.

  Perfunctorily performing the necessary ablutions, Evelyn wrestled with the problem. This night in all probability would ruin her just as he said. Selling all her possessions or going to jail would equally diminish her hopes to none. She was fighting Alex merely on principle, not because she wanted to fight him. Lud, but she didn’t want to fight his kisses at all.

  So where would principles get her? She started tensely as the door swung open. Principles. She had to remember principles. She swung around to meet the man barring the doorway, and all thoughts fled. Principles didn’t exist in his world.

  Chapter 15

  Alex smelled of soap and his hair was still damp where he had slicked it back. He must have borrowed a razor to shave, and the evidence of that thoughtfulness reduced Evelyn’s flagging will to jelly.

  He was trying to please her. The selfish, arrogant man she knew would never have thought of pleasing anyone but himself. What had changed?

  He closed and barred the door, never taking his eyes from her. Evelyn was conscious of the water droplets still clinging to the hollow of her throat where she had opened her shirt to wash and had not yet fastened it. Her fingers plucked at the edges of the linen, as his gaze dipped to the swell of her breasts. She flushed beneath his look.

  “I’ll buy you nightrails dripping in lace just for the sheer pleasure of removing them.” Alex’s fingers trembled as he loosed her grip on the shirt and tugged it from her skirt.

  “Alex, please,” she whispered, but she sank her fingers into the soft folds of his shirt instead of fighting him. His broad hands circled her chemise-clad ribs and rose to just below the curve of her breasts, creating a fierce rush of pleasure.

  The intimate touch left her shaken. She could not look him in the face. Neither could she pull away.

  “Did I ever mention how very lovely you are?”

  His breath was warm as he bent to kiss her hair. His hands stayed where they were, as if afraid to release her. Evelyn felt the need for him to caress the ache of her breasts, but she wanted to linger and learn more of this man too. Even after all these weeks, he was an enigma.

  “You don’t need to speak words you don’t mean,” she murmured. “We both know you would have sailed away with the first ship that came for you. Let’s at least try to be honest.”

  Alex released the ribbons of her hair, carelessly dropping them on the floor. Evelyn dared to breathe, and his warm smile drove her newly released breath from her lungs. He looked nearly angelic when he smiled like that. Why had she thought his would be a devilish grin?

  He pressed a kiss to her brow. “Honesty is not one of my better qualities, I admit, but I’ll not lie to you about this. I only lie when I need to, and I don’t really need to with you, do I?”

  Evelyn’s fingers relaxed their grip enough to enjoy the movement of Alex’s muscular chest. He pulled her hair down about her shoulders, waiting for her reply.

  “No, there’s no need to lie,” she admitted. He didn’t need to murmur pretty compliments and words of love for her sake. She was about to give herself without any promises at all.

  “So believe me when I tell you that you are lovely, that I have wanted to twine your hair in my hands since the day I met you. It’s like thick, rich silk. I’ve never felt anything like it.” His kiss strayed to her ear this time, sending a shiver up her spine. “I want to feel the rest of you, Evelyn. Will you let me?”

  She had little choice, but the truth of the matter was that she wouldn’t stop him if she had one. The loosened shirt fell from her shoulders, dropping to the floor with a twist of Alex’s fingers. She continued to study his face as he absorbed the way her chemise clung to her breasts, leaving her throat and much of her shoulders bare. She had worn one with only simple capped sleeves beneath the riding habit. She wished for one with oceans of lace to make her feel more feminine right now. She was painfully aware that she did not have the full, curved figure men preferred. Yet Alex’s expression displayed no displeasure.

  “This is what you would come home to if you so foolishly married me.” She couldn’t hold the words back. No matter how much she wanted his touch, she did not want to be taken like any doxy off the street, to be used for a moment’s pleasure and forgotten later. If she had only this one chance at knowing happiness, she wanted it to be complete, knowing he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

  Alex chuckled and started to work the fastenings at her waist.
“You’ll not scare me off like that, little tyrant. I’ve been around enough to know what I want. Did you think I would embroil myself so thoroughly in your affairs for any other reason? I’ll admit, marriage wasn’t what I had in mind, but your company has been worth the wait. We’ll suit, even if we do have our differences of opinion.”

  Those differences made Evelyn close her eyes as he slid the skirt down her hips into a puddle on the floor. They would never suit in any way but this. Embarrassment flooded her as he cupped her buttocks, shaping her chemise to the flesh beneath. When he pulled her close, fitting her against him so she could no longer deny the maleness of him, her eyes flew wide with fright.

  “You have nothing to fear, love. All good things come with time.” He soothed her with words as he took the kiss he had been denying her.

  No gentle teasing was necessary now. The need between them was strong and immediate, and she parted her lips and clung to him desperately as his tongue possessed her mouth. Everywhere he touched her there was fire, and she flung herself into the flames.

  Alex set her on the edge of the bed. She protested when his kiss licked harmlessly at her ear. Then he lifted her legs to remove her half-boots, sliding his strong hands up her calves to remove garters and stockings, and the fire found new fuel. When his caress slid further to the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh, Evelyn gave a strangled cry.

  Standing between her legs, Alex challenged her with his gaze as he removed his own shirt. In fascination she watched the material fall away to reveal the amazing ripple of muscle. Tentatively she touched the hard naked planes revealed. Clothing gone, he was just a man. Titles and wealth had no meaning.

  Alex caught her hand, pressing it to his lips and kissing the fingers before returning it to press her palm against the thud of his heart. Holding her gaze, he moved her hand downward, letting her explore the feel of him, the soft mat of hair disguising the hard ripple of tissue, the taut band of muscle over his waist—slowly guiding her toward the buttons of his breeches. She flushed scarlet when she encountered the doeskin, but obediently she helped unfasten him as he had her, until he halted her. She looked up questioningly.