I knew that song was a message from Dad. He wouldn’t have been pleased with me if I had turned my back on the possibility of love because of something like what people might think.
I remembered my dad saying that nothing else mattered to him besides that he loved me. I was stupid to think Dad wouldn’t want me to follow my heart.
Okay. Let me rephrase that. I have every reason to try and fix this.
But how?
I just had to hope that I would think of something.
CHAPTER 19: TYLER
I woke up on Monday morning feeling completely wrecked. I had been so excited about the week ahead, but now all I felt was a sort of numb indifference. I couldn’t really imagine that I would have a good time. I was just depressed and down.
I made coffee and watched the sun move up over the buildings as I drank. Then I headed out into the park for my run. I waved to some of the people I always saw, but it was hard to feel cheerful. I headed back home.
I called Jake. It was early, but he had a similar routine to me, and I was fairly sure he’d have done his morning routine by now.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” he replied. “You good?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “In fact, I wouldn’t mind chatting if you have time?”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Anytime. You want to have coffee or something?”
I nodded. “I’d like that.”
“Great. Let’s go to Barrista.”
We did that.
“You know the first part worked,” Jake said. “She was so mad at me.” He shook his head, grinning. “I really think that she was trying to throw you off.”
“I guess so,” I nodded. The fact that she’d been so mad at Jake for trying to press the advantage like that did suggest she probably wasn’t really interested in him. Or at least that the thought of him being with her in public was abhorrent somehow. Which did add up with what he’d suggested.
“If I were you,” he said, sipping his drink slowly, “I’d just be honest with her.”
I stared at him. It was so ludicrous to think it, but I hadn’t even considered being honest with her. “You mean, tell her how I feel?”
He laughed. “You make it sound like I suggested you paint yourself green and stand on the boulevard. Yes.”
Later, despite how crazy it sounded, or how funny he’d been, I risked doing it. I knew she was at work and calling her was out of the question, but I needed to do this face to face. I texted her.
I wanted to ask you if you’d like to meet up this evening. Maybe for a walk or something? Thanks.
I felt stupid. The chances of her answering something like that were so minimal I might as well not bother. There was no way someone like her would take that seriously.
I was surprised when, as I headed to the gym, my phone bleeped. I pulled it out.
I’d like that, but maybe we could talk at my house? More private there. Seven?
I sat there staring at my phone for a full minute, a big smile on my face. Great, I texted back.
At six, I drove across town to her apartment block. I felt more nervous about this than I had ever felt for anything in my life before, including my first game during college. This was way scarier.
“Hi?” I called at the button.
The gate opened and I closed it behind me, feeling my heart thudding like a drum inside me. I went upstairs to her apartment. Then I rang her bell.
“I hope you…”
“I just think…”
I laughed, interrupting her. “You go first,” I said.
She grinned. “Okay. I wanted to tell you something.”
“Well I wanted to say that I hope you’re not mad at me.”
She stared at me. “Why ever would I be mad?”
I smiled shyly. “Well, I dunno. I was a bit of a jerk, just storming out like that. I guess I embarrassed you.”
“Well,” she frowned. “I have to tell you some things. Would you mind?”
I laughed. “Why ever would I mind?”
She pulled a face. We both laughed.
She waved me through to the kitchen. “I thought I’d order in some dinner,” she grinned. “I decided not to get anything spicy this time. It’s just pizza.”
I smiled. “Really?”
“Yes. Well, okay, it’s one hundred percent wheat-free from the gluten-free pizzeria on the corner. So probably a new experience.”
I grinned. “Well, that sounds good. I trust you.”
She looked into my eyes. “I know,” she said. “And I’m so sorry.”
I tried not to show how much that affected me, but it was hard to hide it. “That’s okay,” I said, my voice dangerously wobbling. “You didn’t…you don’t need to be sorry,” I managed.
“I do, though,” she said. “I should have told you the truth. That’s what I want to do now.”
“Oh?” I frowned. She put plates out and set out the pizza. I would usually have been watching with interest to see what it looked like—a wheat-free pizza would be something I’d never seen before—but I wanted so much more to hear her words that everything else was trivial.
“Yes,” she said, passing me a plate and sitting down opposite me. I didn’t even look at it but stared into those big eyes of hers. “I was dumb.”
“No,” I said. “No, I won’t let you say that. I was dumb.”
She laughed. “Well, if we have to have a competition about that, I guess we probably both were.”
I smiled. “Well, I have to say sorry too, then. But you talk first.”
She nodded. “I…when I first met you, I liked you,” she said. I stared.
“What?” I knew I was interrupting, but I couldn’t help it.
“Yes, I did. And I thought that I could pretend I didn’t. That I could just walk away from this and, well, be able to forget you. I couldn’t, though. And so I tried to make you hate me. I hated the fact that you liked me, you know.”
I laughed. “You did?”
“Yes!” She shook her head, laughing now. “You see, I…I didn’t want anyone to get close to me. In the past, the people I got close to were not kind. To say the best I can about them.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I am glad I don’t know them.”
“Oh, Tyler,” she sniffed. “You shouldn’t be so protective of me.”
I laughed. “I can’t help that. You’d probably hate me for it after a week.”
“No,” she shook her head. “No, I wouldn’t. And that’s the trouble. I tried so hard to dislike you. But the harder I tried the harder it got. And then I realized that, well, why was I doing that? I should take notice of how I feel. I should give time the important things in life.
I could hardly breathe. “You mean it?” I said.
She laughed. “Yes, you silly man. I’m telling you I care.”
I felt something in my heart catch fire. It seemed like my whole chest glowed with a sweet warmth. I smiled into her eyes and felt something that I had never felt before—a closeness, like a touch.
We sat like that, just looking at each other, for a while. Then she sighed.
“So,” she said.
“So?”
“So, that’s what I wanted to say,” she said.
“Oh.” I smiled. “Well, you know what?”
“What?”
“I wanted to say the same thing. I think I have wanted to say it ever since I met you.”
She stared at me. “You…oh, Tyler.”
She was laughing and tears ran down her cheeks. She shook her head.
I smiled. “I am trying to say I care too. I’m just not very good at saying things like that.”
She laughed. “Well, you just said it very understandably.”
“Good,” I said. I stood, then, and came around the table to her chair. Bent over and kissed her.
She leaned against me and wrapped her arms around me and held me close. I felt like I had just come home to myself after a long time.
&n
bsp; ***
I let Tyler lead me to my bedroom. I followed him and we leaned down toward the bed as he kissed me. Laughing, I sat back onto it. He sat down beside me. Looked into my eyes. His own eyes were full of emotion.
I smiled and stroked the side of his face. He took my other hand and held it in his own and I squeezed his fingers. We sat like that for what felt like centuries.
He kissed me and I leaned against him, and it was like no other kiss had ever felt before. I let his tongue part my lips and I felt almost as if his kiss moved through me and touched every part of me, melting me under him.
I let him push me back onto the bed and when his strong hands started to unbutton my shirt I didn’t make any move to stop him. I sighed and leaned back and he undressed me slowly and expertly. I sighed.
“You are…”
“I want to pleasure you,” he whispered. I felt my body melt.
“I want to pleasure you too,” I objected, but he laughed as he bent down and started inching my jeans down.
“I insist it’s my turn first.”
“Fine.”
He was still smiling as he took off my underwear and then bent to put his lips to my folds.
I couldn’t resist as he started to pleasure me, as he had put it. I let him touch me and lick me, each lap and touch sending so much pleasure up my nerves and into my brain that I actually thought I might go mad. I was almost in pain with all that pleasuring as I finally climaxed.
I grinned at him.
“Well?” I asked. I was almost too overcome to talk, but even though I had just reached my own climax, I wanted him in me. I sat up playfully, reaching for him.
“Well?” he asked as hands moved to his shirtfront.
“I think there’s something that needs doing here,” I said. “Or undoing, depending.”
He laughed as I undressed him and I could see that he was enjoying it, though he wasn’t letting on. His eyes shone and then shone even more as I raised a brow at him, admiring his nude body.
He reached over and stroked me. I felt him pushing me gently back and I shook my head, grinning, and rolled onto my tummy, kneeling.
I looked around and saw him staring at me. He had such a look of longing on his face that I felt myself getting ready. He leaned over and touched me and I was so ready that I was almost ready to climax again as he gently put a finger in me. I gasped.
“I want you.”
He nodded and knelt, then pushed into me. I cried out, my whole body tensing as his hardness entered me and filled me in a way I had never felt before. He made me feel so good that I wanted to match his strokes with my own pushes backward. I wanted to feel him filling me and feel it more and more and more.
He was pounding into me, and I could feel that lean belly thumping against me as I drove myself back. I was resting my weight on my hands, thrusting back as hard and fast as I could, relishing the sweet, rubbing, thrusting, tickling feeling that he was making right inside me.
I heard him cry out, and then he was moving faster, his grip tight on my shoulders, his lips damp as he drew me against him and bent down, kissing me. I was sobbing as I moved faster, wanting more and more of the sweet feeling he was creating in me.
He thrust in harder, and I cried out and then, gritting his teeth, he thrust in me three more times, then collapsed.
We lay like that with our bodies sweat glued, and I smiled at him.
He rolled over and kissed my hair.
We were together and we were amazingly happy.
EPILOGUE
I always enjoy introducing my friends to each other. But when a friend has been away for six months, and its springtime in LA, and the other friend is one they never met, I enjoy it even more.
“You’re sure it’s okay?” Tyler asked.
I looked at where he stood beside me in his stunning suit. With those shoulders and tiny waist and those strong legs, he would have looked good wearing anything. But in a suit in a rugged brown with a cream shirt, he looked amazing.
“You look fantastic,” I said. “Now, let’s see if we can find this bench.”
We walked through the park, the trees vivid with new leaves. I was looking for a cherry tree.
“Those are the pink ones, right?” Tyler asked.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “In fact, I seem to recall they were near that path in summer, so by rights they should be…”
We found them at the same time.
I walked down the path feeling nervous and excited. Everyone at work had accepted Tyler when he accompanied me to our annual charity dinner event two weeks ago. And the press had been quite supportive—far from ruining me, most columns had actually been quite positive, if they’d said anything at all. It goes to show, you should never assume anything.
I was, though, nervous about Jess.
I saw her, sitting where she had said she would be, under the flowering cherry. She saw me.
“Ryanne!” She ran at me and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing the breath out of me.
“Jess!” I grinned. I looked down into her face. She was tanned and glowing. She looked ten years younger and full of life. “It’s amazing to see you.”
“It’s amazing to see you,” she repeated, gently. “You look amazing.”
I laughed. “You too. Thailand must suit you.”
“It does,” she nodded.
I turned right. There he was. “Jess, there’s someone I want you to meet,” I said nervously.
“Hi,” he said, and I could hear nerves in his voice. “I’m Tyler. Pleased to meet you.”
“Jess Gilbert,” she said. “I’m glad to meet you.” They looked at each other and seemed that they decided they liked each other. I smiled.
Jess nodded as Tyler engaged someone in conversation on the way. “He’s great.” she said.
“I know,” I said. I looked at him, so gentle and strong and kind. I was so, so lucky to have met him. He said that he was lucky to have met me. I suspected this was an argument we would be having for a long, long time. And I was so glad.
I had finally found what I had always been looking for, and had almost lost just as I found it. But I knew now that there’s never any reason to do something that hurts you that badly. And that nothing is more important, precious or powerful, than love. I was so happy.
The End
Double Trouble Page 14