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Collected Poems

Page 52

by Adrienne Rich


  This woman/the heart of the matter.

  Heart of the law/heart of the prophets.

  Their voices buzzing like raspsaws in her brain.

  Taking ship without a passport.

  How does she do it. Even the ships have eyes.

  Are painted like birds.

  This woman has no address book.

  This woman perhaps has a toothbrush.

  Somewhere dealing for red/blue dyes to crest her

  rough-clipped hair.

  On the other side:stranger to women and to children.

  Setting her bare footsole in the print of the stranger’s bare foot in

  the sand.

  Feeding the stranger’s dog from the sack of her exhaustion.

  Hearing the male prayers of the stranger’s tribe/rustle of the

  stranger’s river.

  Lying down asleep and dreamless in one of their doorways.

  She has long shed the coverings.

  On the other side she walks bare-armed, bare-legged, clothed

  in voices.

  Here or there picks up a scarf/a remnant.

  Day breaks cold on her legs and in her sexual hair.

  Her punk hair/her religious hair.

  Passing the blue rectangles of the stranger’s doors.

  Not one opens to her.

  Threading herself into declining alleys/black on white plaster/

  olive on violet.

  To walk to walk to walk.

  To lie on a warm stone listening to familiar insects.

  (Exile, exile.)

  This woman/the heart of the matter.

  Circling back to the city where her name crackles behind

  creviced stones.

  This woman who left alone and returns alone.

  Whose hair again is covered/whose arms and neck are covered/

  according to the law.

  Underneath her skin has darkened/her footsoles roughened.

  Sand from the stranger’s doorway sifting from her plastic

  carry-all/ drifting into the sand

  whirling around in her old quarter.

  1993

  REVOLUTION IN PERMANENCE (1953, 1993)

  Through a barn window, three-quartered

  the profile of Ethel Rosenberg

  stares down past a shattered apple-orchard

  into speechless firs.

  Speechless this evening.Last night

  the whole countryside thrashed in lowgrade fever

  under low swollen clouds

  the mist advanced and the wind

  tore into one thing then another

  —you could think random but you know

  the patterns are there—

  a sick time, and the human body

  feeling it, a loss of pressure,

  an agitation without purpose …

  Purpose?Do you believe

  all agitation has an outcome

  like revolt, like Bread and Freedom?

  —or do you hang on to the picture

  of the State as a human body

  —some people being heads or hearts

  and others only hands or guts or legs?

  But she—how did she end up here

  in this of all places?

  What she is seeing I cannot see,

  what I see has her shape.

  There’s an old scythe propped

  in an upper window of the barn—

  —does it call up marches of peasants?

  what is it with you and this barn?

  And, no, it’s not an old scythe,

  it’s an old rag, you see how it twitches.

  And Ethel Rosenberg? I’ve worried about her

  through the liquid window in that damp place.

  I’ve thought she was coughing, like me,

  but her profile stayed still watching

  what held her in that position.

  1993

  Then or Now

  Is it necessary for me to write obliquely

  about the situation? Is that what

  you would have me do?

  FOOD PACKAGES: 1947

  Powdered milk, chocolate bars, canned fruit, tea,

  salamis, aspirin:

  Four packages a month to her old professor in Heidelberg

  and his Jewish wife:

  Europe is trying to revive an intellectual life

  and the widow of the great sociologist needs flour.

  Europe is trying/to revive/

  with the Jews somewhere else.

  The young ex-philosopher tries to feed her teachers

  all the way from New York, with orders for butter from Denmark,

  sending dispatches into the fog

  of the European spirit:

  I am no longer German. I am a Jew and the German language

  was once my home.

  1993

  INNOCENCE: 1945

  “The beauty of it was the guilt.

  It entered us, quick schnapps,

  forked tongue of ice.The guilt

  made us feel innocent again.

  We had done nothing while some

  extreme measures were taken.We drifted.In the

  Snow Queen’s huge ballroom had dreamed

  of the whole world and a new pair of skates.

  But we had suffered too.

  The miracle was:felt

  nothing.Felt we had done

  nothing.Nothing to do.Felt free.

  And we had suffered, too.

  It was that freedom we craved,

  cold needle in the bloodstream.

  Guilt after all was a feeling.”

  1993

  SUNSET, DECEMBER, 1993

  Dangerous of course to draw

  ParallelsYet more dangerous to write

  as if there were a steady course, we and our poems

  protected:the individual life, protected

  poems, ideas, gliding

  in mid-air, innocent

  I walked out on the deck and every board

  was luminous with cold dewIt could freeze tonight

  Each board is different of course but each does gleam

  wet, under a complicated sky:mounds of swollen ink

  heavy gray unloading up the coast

  a rainbow suddenly and casually

  unfolding its span

  Dangerous not to think

  how the earth still wasin places

  while the chimneys shuddered with the first dischargements

  1993

  DEPORTATIONS

  It’s happened already while we were still

  searching for patternsA turn of the head

  toward a long horizontal window overlooking the city

  to see people being taken

  neighbors, vendors, paramedicals

  hurried from their porches, their tomato stalls

  their auto-mechanic arguments

  and children from schoolyards

  There are far more of the takers-away than the taken

  at this point anyway

  Then:dream-cut:our house:

  four men walk through the unlatched door

  One in light summer wool and silken tie

  One in work clothes browned with blood

  One with open shirt, a thin

  thong necklace hasped with silver around his neck

  One in shorts naked up from the navel

  And they have come for us, two of us and four of them

  and I think, perhaps they are still human

  and I ask themWhen do you think this all began?

  as if trying to distract them from their purpose

  as if trying to appeal to a common bond

  as if one of them might be you

  as if I were practicing for something

  yet to come

  1994

  AND NOW

  And now as you read these poems

  —you whose eyes and hands I love

  —you whose mouth and eyes I love

/>   —you whose words and minds I love—

  don’t think I was trying to state a case

  or construct a scenery:

  I tried to listen to

  the public voice of our time

  tried to survey our public space

  as best I could

  —tried to remember and stay

  faithful to details, note

  precisely how the air moved

  and where the clock’s hands stood

  and who was in charge of definitions

  and who stood by receiving them

  when the name of compassion

  was changed to the name of guilt

  when to feel with a human stranger

  was declared obsolete.

  1994

  SENDING LOVE

  Voice

  from the grain

  of the forest bought

  and condemned

  sketched bond

  in the rockmass

  the earthquake sought

  and threw

  •

  Sending love:Molly sends it

  Ivan sends it, Kaori

  sends it to Brian, Irina sends it

  on pale green aerograms Abena sends it

  to Charlie and to Joséphine

  Arturo sends it, Naomi sends it

  Lourdes sends it to Naoual

  Walter sends it to Arlene

  Habib sends it, Vashti

  floats it to Eqbal in a paper plane

  Bored in the meeting, on a postcard

  Yoel scribbles it to Gerhard

  Reza on his e-mail

  finds it waiting from Patricia

  Mario and Elsie

  send it to Francísco

  Karolina sends it monthly

  home with a money order

  June seals it with a kiss to Dahlia

  Mai sends it, Montserrat

  scrawls it to Faíz on a memo

  Lenny wires it with roses

  to Lew who takes it on his

  whispery breath, Julia sends it

  loud and clear, Dagmar brailles it

  to Maureen, María Christina

  sends it, Meena and Moshe send it

  Patrick and Max are always

  sending it back and forth

  and even Shirley, even George

  are found late after closing

  sending it, sending it

  •

  Sending love is harmless

  doesn’t bind youcan’t make you sick

  sending love’s expected

  precipitousand wary

  sending love can be carefree

  Joaquín knew it, Eira knows it

  sending love without heart

  —well, people do that daily

  •

  Terrence years ago

  closed the window, wordless

  Grace who always laughed is leaning

  her cheek against bullet-proof glass

  her tears enlarged

  like scars on a planet

  Vivian hangs her raincoat

  on a hook, turns to the classroom

  her love entirely

  there, supreme

  Victor fixes his lens

  on disappearing faces

  —caught now or who will ever

  see them again?

  1992–1994

  TAKE

  At the head of this poem I have laid out

  a boning knife a paring knife a wooden spoon a pair of tongs.

  Oaken grain beneath them olive and rusty light

  around them.

  And you looming:This is not your scene

  this is the first frame of a film

  I have in mind to make:move on, get out.

  And you here telling me:What will be done

  with these four objects will be done

  through my lens not your words.

  The poet shrugs:I was only in the kitchen

  looking at the chopping board.(Not the whole story.)

  And you telling me:Awful is the scope

  of what I have in mind, awful the music I shall deploy, most

  awful the witness of the camera moving

  out from the chopping board to the grains of snow

  whirling against the windowglass to the rotating

  searchlights of the tower.The humped snow-shrouded tanks

  laboring toward the border.This is not your bookish art.

  But say the poet picks up the boning knife and thinks my bones

  if she touching the paring knife thinks carrot, onion, celery

  if staring at the wooden spoon I see the wood is split

  as if from five winters of war

  when neither celery, onion, carrot could be found

  or picking up the tongs I whisper What this was for

  And did you say get on, get out or just look out?

  Were you speaking from exhaustion from disaster from your last

  assignment were you afraid.

  for the vision in the kitchen, that it could not be saved

  —no time to unload the heavy

  cases to adjust

  the sensitive equipment

  to seize the olive rusty light to scan the hand that reaches

  hovering

  over a boning knife a paring knife a wooden spoon a pair

  of tongs

  to cull the snow before it blows away across the border’s blacked-

  out sheds

  and the moon swims in a bluish bubble dimmed

  by the rotating searchlights of the tower?Here

  it is in my shorthand, do what you have in mind.

  1994

  LATE GHAZAL

  Footsole to scalp alive facing the window’s black mirror.

  First rains of the wintermorning’s smallest hour.

  Go back to the ghazal thenwhat will you do there?

  Life always pulsed harder than the lines.

  Do you remember the strands that ran from eye to eye?

  The tongue that reached everywhere, speaking all the parts?

  Everything there was cast in an image of desire.

  The imagination’s cry is a sexual cry.

  I took my body anyplace with me.

  In the thickets of abstraction my skin ran with blood.

  Life was always stronger … the critics couldn’t get it.

  Memory says the music always ran ahead of the words.

  1994

  SIX NARRATIVES

  1

  You drew up the story of your lifeI was in that story

  Nights on the coast I’d meet you flashlight in hand

  curving my soles over musseled rockscracked and raw we’d lick

  inside the shells for danger

  You’d drop into the barI’d sit upstairs at my desk writing

  the pages

  you hoped would make us famousthen in the face of my

  turned back

  you went to teach at the freedom school as if

  you were teaching someone else to get free from methis was

  your story

  Like a fogsmeared planet over the coast

  I’d walked into, served, your purposeful longingsI knew, I did

  not stoptill I turned my back

  2

  You drew up a story about meI fled that story

  Aching in mind I noticed names on the helms of busses:

  COP CITYSHEEPSHEAD BAY

  I thought I saw the city where the cops came home

  to lay kitchen linoleumbarbecue on balconies

  I saw the bloodied head of the great sheep dragged through

  the underpasses

  trucked to the bay where the waters would not touch it

  left on the beach in its shroud of flies

  On the bus to La Guardia my arms ached with all my findings

  anchored under my breasts with all my will

  I cried sick day, O sick day, this is my day and I, for this I will

  not pay


  as the green rushed bleeding out through the snarled cracks of

  the expressway

  3

  You were telling a story about women to young menIt was

  not my story

  it was not a story about women it was a story about men

  Your hunger a spear gripped in hand a tale unspun in your

  rented campground

  clothed in captured whale-songs tracked with synthesized

  Andes flutes

  it was all about youbeaded and beardedmisfeathered and

  miscloaked

  where the TV cameras found you in your sadness

  4

  You were telling a story about loveit was your story

  I came and stood outside

  listening::death was in the doorway

  death was in the air but the story

  had its own lifeno pretenses

  about women in that lovesong for a man

  Listening I went inside the bow scraping the bass-string

  inside the horn’s heartbroken cry

  I was the breath’s intake the bow’s rough mutter:

  Vigil for boy of responding kisses, (never again on earth responding,)

  Vigil for comrade swiftly slain …

  5.

  I was telling you a story about love

  how even in war it goes on speaking its own language

 

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