The Morning After

by Sally Clements

  “Wow.” Cara slipped off her shoes and picked them up. The hot sand felt like powdered sugar beneath her soles. Pure, clean, fabulous.

  “Come on.” Ethan walked along the beach behind the beach house.

  “It’s on stilts,” Cara said with wonder in her tone.

  “We keep the Zodiak here.” Ethan pointed to a launch ramp built in under the house. “I use it sometimes for fishing. “It’s fully stocked with loungers and a barbeque.”

  Cara glanced up. “All that glass would keep a window cleaner busy.”

  Ethan nodded. “Well, there’s not much point to having a view if you can’t see it.”

  “From every room in the house, apparently.” Cara itched to see inside, to investigate the rooms beyond the wide balcony that stretched across the entire back of the house. But Ethan sat on the sand, stretching his long legs. He slipped off his shoes, dug his toes into the sand, and sighed.

  She dropped next to him.

  “So…” Ethan slung an arm over her shoulders. “No one will bother you here. The place is impenetrable.” He stared into her eyes. “How are you doing?”

  She opened her mouth to speak. His eyes darkened with a warning. “Really. Don’t tell me some line. I’ll know.”

  Cara swallowed. “I’m okay.”

  Ethan’s arm tightened. “I’m sorry that bastard broke your heart,” he murmured. “I know it had to hurt.” A shadow of pain flickered across his eyes, and he stared out to the ocean. His jaw tightened.

  “It wasn’t the same as you and Aoife,” Cara said. “You loved her.”

  Ethan stayed silent, but he didn’t need to confirm her words. They’d talked through Aoife’s desertion on the telephone two years ago. The fact that Aoife had treated him so callously had fired Cara’s blood red hot, back then. She’d seemed devoted when she packed in her job as a secretary and set off for a new life with the man everyone had thought she would marry. But she’d been wooed by the glamour of it all, and had her head turned when a bigger movie star turned his considerable charms her direction at a party. And had quickly switched allegiance.

  No one except Cara knew just how devastating Aoife’s desertion had been.

  Cara grasped Ethan’s hand, hanging from her shoulder. “Has there been anyone, since?”

  “Plenty of anyone’s,” Ethan’s voice was hard. “But no one special.”

  The murmur of the ocean was a backdrop to his words.

  “Michael and I…it wasn’t like that.” Cara needed to let him know that she wasn’t hurting the way he had, back then. “We’d been dating, but…” Her tongue swept over her lips, tasting salt. “I hadn’t really committed to the relationship, even after he proposed. Something just didn’t seem right.” She glanced at his profile. “You know?”

  Ethan’s gaze tangled with hers. “You went to bed with him. I know you don’t do that lightly.”

  “I didn’t.” All embarrassment at discussing her love life faded. She’d always told Ethan everything, had only held back from this revelation because she’d been sure he wouldn’t understand. Under the circumstances, relief flooded through her at the knowledge that deep-down, some part of her had known Michael wasn’t to be trusted with her heart. Or the rest of her body, for that matter.

  “You didn’t?” Ethan’s gaze dipped to focus on her mouth. “What—never?”

  “Not even a little bit.” Cara felt her mouth tilt in a smile. “I guess I knew, somehow.”

  Ethan leaned close. Touched his lips to hers in a feather-light caress so brief, she almost thought she’d imagined it. “I’m glad,” he said in a deep voice, before standing up and holding his hand out to her. “Want to have a look inside?”

  ****

  Ethan pondered Cara’s words as he opened up the house. Sleeping with someone didn’t mean anything. Merely that both parties felt the tug of sexual attraction, and acted on it. But somehow the fact Cara hadn’t actually allowed such a level of intimacy with Michael sparked something deep inside.

  She wasn’t like him. Up until now, she hadn’t done casual. Her innate belief in true love was one of the things that made her Cara. And even as his body responded to her with only one look from those sky-blue eyes, he couldn’t—wouldn’t—be the one to initiate her into the joys of sex for sex’s sake.

  She gazed around the large living room. A smile tilted her lips up. “I love it—it’s just like being outside.”

  The large white leather sofas, polished pale pine floorboards, and plain white painted walls echoed the white sand beyond the window. The entire house was designed to showcase the view, not to compete with it. And when the evenings drew in, long white curtains closed the view out, and the focus shifted to the fire he’d light in the huge fireplace. He’d moved in a couple of essentials, like the fifty-inch TV in the corner, and a fluffy sheepskin rug to soften the austerity and add warmth and luxury. And when he finally moved in the rest of his scant possessions, it would feel more like home.

  He waved at the desk in the corner. “There’s a laptop there, in case you feel like browsing the net, or checking your email.”

  “The bedrooms are over here.” He walked through to the master bedroom as she followed in his wake. “This is mine.” He pushed open the door.

  “Great bed.” Cara walked to the four-poster, and bounced her bottom on it. “I guess you just lie here and stare out at the sea, huh?” Her eyes lit with a teasing light. “Or are you too busy concentrating on the ladies you bring here?”

  “I haven’t brought any ladies here.” Ethan watched her eyes darken as he sat next to her on the patchwork cover he’d brought from Ireland. “I haven’t brought anyone here, actually.”

  “You mean I’m the first?” Cara asked.

  “Yeah.” She was the first. The first friend he’d had, as a kid. The first person he confided in. The first woman he wasn’t prepared to take to bed. He stood up. “Come on, I’ll show you your room.”

  ****

  Ethan was acting strange. It had started while they sat on his bed, and continued as he carried her bag in from the car and plonked it on the spare bed. He was avoiding eye contact. Holding part of himself back.

  “Why don’t you get into your swimming costume and we’ll go for a swim?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

  “That sounds great.” She bit back the questions that bubbled up inside. What’s changed? Why are you being so…so distant? Sometimes, when he was bothered by things, he’d retreat and go silent. This looked like one of those times. She flipped open her suitcase. “Everything okay?”

  “Fine.” Ethan stepped to the doorway, and stood there for a moment, just looking at her. “I’ll go get ready too.” He pulled the door closed behind him as he strode from the room.

  There was no point dwelling on it. He’d tell her when he wanted to. Or bottle it up inside, and get over it. Nothing she could say or do would speed up the process. She unpacked the turquoise bikini she’d bought in Dublin in preparation for an Irish summer that hadn’t materialized. Skimpy shoestring straps, and tiny triangles of fabric.

  She sighed. In this, there’d be no hiding the fact that she was considerably curvier than Ethan’s regular playmates. And instead of the all-over tan that Californian girls sported, her body was milk white. At least she’d match the beach.

  She slipped her clothes off, and put the bikini on. Then wandered to the floor length mirror in a wooden frame that graced a corner of the bedroom. Urgh, even worse than she’d thought. Her breasts swelled above the tiny triangles, although luckily the fabric was thick enough to hide her nipples from view. And the space between the top and bottoms revealed acres of white stomach. She turned sideways. At least her regular gym routine meant that she had abs. She swiveled even further. Swiped a hand across her bottom as she peeked over her shoulder at her rear view. No, Cara, your bum doesn’t look big in this. A giggle bubbled up and out as she thought the words.

  How ridiculous that she was obsessing over her body. She nev
er had body issues, but somehow being in Malibu had instantly given her some. It must be because at home, she never swanned around in such skimpy outfits.

  She snatched a towel from the pile on the chair, and a tube of sun-cream from her suitcase, and slipped into her flip-flops with the huge flower on top that she’d, on impulse, bought at the airport. It couldn’t just be the thought of baring her body before Ethan, that would be ridiculous.

  She stopped outside his bedroom door. “Ethan?”

  No answer. She pushed open the door to see his clothes tossed casually on the bed. A search of the living room revealed he wasn’t there either. He must already be on the beach.

  She saw him in the water the moment she stepped onto the sand.

  With a quick smooth over the string at her hip, she dropped her things on the sand, slipped off the flip-flops and walked to the waterside. Warm waves lapped over her toes. She walked further, up to her ankles.

  “Come on in,” Ethan called.

  Even though he wasn’t far from shore, he must be in deep, for the water covered all but his head. He pushed back his wet hair with one tanned hand, and grinned.

  The water swirled around her calves, then her knees, and finally enclosed her hips with its soothing caress.

  “Watch out for—”

  The ground disappeared, and water engulfed her head.

  Strong arms slid around her waist, pulling her to the surface.

  She spluttered, and shook her head, feeling the water plaster her soaked hair against the side of her face.

  “I was trying to tell you to watch out because the ground slopes away.” Ethan held her body close against his, treading water to keep them upright.

  “Now you tell me.” Cara rolled her eyes. “You could have mentioned it earlier.” She tried to frown, but a smile fought and won.

  “The water’s nice, though, isn’t it?” Ethan’s face was close. So close, with one tiny movement she could move her lips against his damp ones. His lean thighs brushed against hers as they moved under the water. Her hands rested on his broad shoulders, her nipples pressed against his wide chest. Their stomachs touched. Below, she felt the insistent press of something hard against her pelvis.

  Cara’s eyes widened.

  Ethan’s grip loosened.

  She slipped her arms around his neck. Stared into his eyes. And pressed her lips to his.

  Chapter Ten

  This wasn’t supposed to be happening. But the soft touch of Cara’s lips, the arms clasped around his neck, wiped all coherent thought from Ethan’s mind in an instant. And when her lips opened, it was pure instinct and desperate desire that had him responding too, slipping his tongue into her mouth to deepen the kiss.

  She moaned.

  Desire flashed through Ethan’s entire body in a molten wave.

  The movement of his legs kept them upright, but the sure and certain knowledge that he was drowning, in way over his head, burned with every kick.

  Her hands were in his hair, and she kissed him with such abandon, such desperation, that he couldn’t possibly resist. With his arm clutching her tight, he needed the ground under his feet. “I need to stand,” he murmured against her mouth.

  Cara eased away. Her eyelids fluttered open. He swam her to the shallows, and put her feet and his firmly back on solid ground.

  Her fingers stroked his neck. Blue eyes gazed into his.

  “That was crazy.” Ethan loosened his grip. “Too much sun, maybe?”

  “Maybe,” Cara bit her lip. “Maybe not. Maybe it happened for a reason.”

  He touched the clasp of her bikini top beneath his fingers, and slid his hand down to the dip at the bottom of her spine. “You know I’m no one’s idea of a long term prospect.” He needed to warn her off, needed to douse the light in her eyes before he took her up on her unspoken offer. Kissed her like every molecule of his being urged him to do.

  “Yes, I know that.” Her mouth curved. “But I’m not looking for long-term. I’m not looking for ever. But being in your arms…” Warm pink colored her pale cheeks. “It felt right.” Her gaze pinned him, daring him to refute her words, to tell her he hadn’t felt the same.

  “It’s normal that you’d feel different, now you’re out of Ireland.”

  She shook her head.

  “You’ve lost everything.”

  She nodded.

  “You’re off kilter.”

  “Maybe.”

  That word again. He couldn’t look away, couldn’t step back and add air between their bodies, or hide his reaction to her nearness.

  Cara touched his jaw, stroked a finger over his ear. “Or maybe I just want you.”

  Ethan’s heart thundered. “Dammit, Cara, I’m only human.” He stepped away from her then, fighting to resist her lips’ lure, which was darned difficult with his arms around her. “Don’t play with me. Don’t tell me you want something from me that you really shouldn’t.”

  Cara wrapped her arm around her torso. “Why shouldn’t I want you? I’m human, aren’t I?”

  Anger welled up in Ethan. She didn’t want him; she wanted bloody Crash Carrigan. Just like all the women he’d met in America, she wanted the love ‘em and leave ‘em cardboard cutout he played on screen. He rubbed a hand through his hair. “I’m not him.”

  “Not who?” Cara stepped closer.

  “I’m Ethan, remember? Your old friend, Ethan. Reliable, non-sexy Ethan.” Not a Hollywood invention, he longed to add, but couldn’t bear to see her reaction. She would never want to hurt him. Would never, or at least, had never come on to him before. And if she wasn’t so confused by recent events, this wouldn’t be happening, would it?

  “I know who you are.” Her eyes blazed with truth. “You’re my old friend, Ethan. Reliable, honest and true. You’d never hurt me.” Her gaze skittered away to the azure water. “You’re right. I’ve never seen you as sexy before, but right now…” her gaze fixed his again, with desire deep in their depths. “I’m finding you very sexy. I’m sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable, but I’m not going to lie to you.” She swirled her arms in the water. Then took a step toward the beach.

  Ethan’s hand immediately clutched her arm. “Wait.”

  She stilled.

  “Do you know what you’re doing? Do you know what you want?”

  Cara’s lips parted. “I know what I want. But it looks like I’m not going to get it. I’m sorry.” She turned away.

  Ethan stepped up, pulled her back close against his still aroused body. “You know I want you. I can’t hide it, and I’m damned if I’ll be sorry for it.” He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. “I’ve never felt desire for you before…before I saw you in that ridiculous Winnie The Pooh costume. Since then…” Ethan grimaced. He couldn’t find the words to tell her, and she’d think he was crazy. Having lustful thoughts about his best friend when her life was in crisis was just plain wrong. He dropped her arm.

  “Since the fair?” Cara whispered. “You felt it too?”

  “Every soft, silky inch,” Ethan’s voice matched hers. “Holding you was torture.”

  Cara’s slow smile showcased her dimples. “For me too, I thought I was going mad,” she admitted. She rested her palms against his chest. “So, let’s get this right. You’re attracted to me.” She glanced down his body. “I’m burning up for you. You don’t do long-term, and I don’t want it either. We’re here, alone in your house for the next couple of weeks, we’ve been friends forever, and neither of us will hurt the other.”

  Ethan felt his head jerk up and down in unspoken agreement.

  “Please. Kiss me.”

  ****

  Cara’s lips tingled. The sound of blood rushing in her head was echoed by the soft kiss of the waves against shore. The crease between Ethan’s dark brows flattened out. His incredible eyes, surrounded by damp lashes, seemed to shift in chocolate color from milk to dark.

  His hand stroked over her hair, tilted up her chin. “No regrets?”

  “No regre
ts.”

  Slowly, deliberately, he covered her mouth with his own. And her heart almost burst. His mouth was delicious. Addictive. She craved him like she craved Rocky Road, unashamedly. The sand was firm against her soles, but inside it felt as though the sands of her existence were shifting. When this was over, they’d go back to being friends. He meant too much to her to let the little matter of lovemaking get between them, spoil their friendship.

  Cool water splashed against her breasts, tightening her nipples into bullets.

  Ethan flipped her somehow, unfastened bikini top into the water, cupped her face in both hands, and continued kissing her.

  She snuggled close, feeling his light dusting of chest hair against her naked breasts.

  His mouth burned a trail down her neck, as his hands cupped her breasts. As his thumbs rubbed her nipples she gasped, and let her head tilt up to the sun. She had known she wanted him, but had no idea how much. How much it was possible to want to make love to another human being.

  His fingers hooked into her bikini briefs, stroking her, and toying with the strings at her hip.

  Cara trailed a hand down his chest and pressed her pelvis against his. With a growl, Ethan pulled back. “Inside, now.”

  She glanced at the shore, at the large, bare expanse of silver sand. In the water, she at least had the chance of dipping below the waves if a stranger passed by. But topless on the beach...

  Her hands slipped over her breasts. Ethan smiled. Then searched the water nearby for her bikini top.

  “Here.” It hung from his fingertips. “Slip your arms in and turn around.”

  Cara did as ordered, feeling the quick brush of his fingers at her back as he attached the clasp. The overwhelming passion of their clinch had dissipated in the moments since. Now, embarrassment niggled as she swiveled back to him.

  He glanced at her chest, and frowned. “Aw, I miss ‘em.”

  Laughter bubbled up. She let it free, let the wind carry it away. With one sentence, he’d swept away the awkwardness. Surely it would be the same after they slept together?