by Jody Holford
He thought of Stella busting her ass to make things work at the clinic, in her house, in her life. She hadn’t complained even though he was almost positive she’d been waist deep into drowning when he’d showed up. But she’d kept going. Kept fighting. Like his mother.
“Why aren’t you sorry then?” Zach looked back at the screen door, then met his mom’s gaze. “You could have had someone like Shane for a lifetime.”
His mom grinned. “I’ve still got a lifetime in me. And if I didn’t choose your father, I wouldn’t have you. People make mistakes, honey. You pick yourself up and carry on. I didn’t know how to leave, so I stayed and did the best I could. But sometimes I feel like I let you down.”
Reaching out to squeeze his mom’s hand, he shook his head. “You didn’t. I wanted to make you proud. I hated that people gave us food hampers at Christmas and you never got birthday presents. When I left, after Trav died, I promised myself I’d come back and you’d never go without again.” He shook his head once more. “But while I was gone, you were making sure you were fine. I should have stayed. I should have helped you out here instead of running off.”
She clucked her tongue at him. “You did what kids do. They grow up. I don’t resent that, and I knew you’d be back. I don’t need you to take care of me, honey. I just want to know you’re okay. That you’re happy. That’s all I need.”
Nodding, his throat tight, he couldn’t help feeling like he’d wasted a lot of time worrying about getting everything just right. Coming back with enough money, becoming something through the army, getting his vet license. He’d wanted those things, but it was more than that—he thought he needed them to prove what kind of man he was. Having all those things hadn’t stopped him from being less than the man Stella Lane needed at her side.
His mom patted his hand. “You made a mistake. How are you going to fix it?”
Inhaling deeply, he exhaled slowly. “I’m going to go home, tell her everything, and in the morning, I’m going to figure out a way to get Andrew his money back immediately. There’s no record of it so I don’t think Stella can be implicated in any way.”
“I can help,” she said, glancing at him from the side of her eye.
Zach smiled. “I’m not taking money from you, Mom.”
“Stubborn.”
He laughed. “It’s a lot of money. If you’ve got that kind of nest egg, you use it for you and Shane. If I didn’t have any options, it would be different. But I kept my options in check and took the easy route borrowing money from Andrew.”
She stood and dusted off her pants. “You have, not once in your life, taken the easy path. You were a bit impatient to get on with your plan, but as always, your heart and intentions were in exactly the right place.”
Zach rested his forearms on his knees. “I hope Stella can understand that.”
When his mom said nothing, he looked up. Her brows were arched, and she crossed her arms over her chest.
“What?”
Giving him the full-on-mom look, she tilted her head. “Since when are you afraid to fight for what you want? It’s what got you into this—charging full steam ahead.”
He winced. “That was to work at the practice.”
“You want Stella?”
Zach stood up, his heart jumping. “More than anything.”
“Then do the right thing and if it pushes her away, fight for her.”
He could do that. He could definitely do that. There was no other option because he didn’t want a future that didn’t include Stella. Kissing his mom on the cheek, Zach walked to his car, determined to show Stella what kind of man he really was. The kind who could own up and come clean and still be strong enough to fix things and make them right. Who he was had nothing to do with being able to buy into her clinic or own a house. Why the hell had it taken him so long to see that?
Doesn’t matter. As long as you can make her see you’re better together.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Stella set the coffee down in front of Zach’s friend. Whispers of unease bristled the hair on the back of her neck, but she tried to ignore the feeling. Same way you ignored Steven’s repeated protests that everything was okay. Ignoring her gut had never worked out any better than following her heart. She hadn’t heard from Zach in hours and though he’d said he was fine when he left, she knew he’d been less than honest about that. The worry in his eyes and the rigid set of his shoulders made her certain there was more to it than his concern for a friend.
“Thank you. I knew your father,” Andrew said, picking up the ceramic mug and wrapping his hands around it.
Her heart muscles tightened, but it was more anticipation than sadness. She was growing to like other people’s versions of her father. “How?”
“I’d asked more than once if he wanted to partner up. Perhaps do some cross-promotional events. Pet Central prides itself on innovative techniques and community partners.”
He said the words like he had memorized them rather than felt them. Since Andrew was acting like she hadn’t learned of the news story—which she wouldn’t have if not for Zach—Stella acted as if she didn’t.
She thought back to the pile of “offers” she’d sorted through and shredded. Pet Central had been in that pile. She was glad she never gave in to the urge to take a quick fix way out of the mess. And not just because of Zach or the current headlines. She’d held strong and the clinic was bouncing back thanks to hard work. Team work. Best of all, it was hers. And Zach’s. Theirs. Ours. The word sent a series of flutters through her body.
“You said you worked overseas with Zach?”
Andrew nodded. He stared into his mug, and Stella wondered how much longer Zach would be. “I did. He’s an excellent vet. A good man.”
“He is.”
There was more, but he kept his eyes on his coffee. Nacho came up, sniffed at him. He set his drink down and rubbed the dog’s head. Soda joined them, vying for her share of attention.
“Gorgeous animals. All I ever wanted to do was help animals. Make a difference. Working with pets is like working with children, you know? They can’t speak up for themselves. They need advocates and caregivers.”
Stella smiled, rubbed Soda’s back the way he liked. “That’s a good way to put it.”
“I got lost. I’m sorry I brought Zach into that.”
Her stomach clenched tightly, and Soda whined, nuzzled her palm, like she could read the tension that coated her from his words. The front door closed, and she heard his boot steps even as the dogs rushed the door.
“Stella?”
She knew his voice, his footsteps. Both were heavy and it made her stomach feel the same.
“Do you have company?” He stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, the dogs at his sides. Like they accepted his place here. “Andrew.”
His friend stood, turned to Zach, who came to Stella’s side. She watched as shock, anger, and worry collided in Zach’s expression while he looked at Andrew. When his gaze turned to her, there was so much regret in it, her knees almost buckled.
“Sorry to drop in like this,” Andrew said, a tight smile stretching his features.
“I’ve been calling you. I went to your house,” Zach said.
Stella was surprised by the venom in his voice. She’d never heard that tone from him and was about to say something when Andrew stood.
“Zach.”
The two men stared at each other, and Stella’s pulse raced. This was more than eye contact between them. It was silent messages that flipped Stella’s stomach upside down.
“Should I give you two some privacy?” She stood.
They weren’t touching now, just standing side by side, but Stella felt Zach’s tension as clearly as if his arms were wrapped around her body. Something was wrong. She breathed through her nose, forcing the worst-case scenarios to take a back seat.
“It might be best, Zach,” Andrew said.
Zach reached for Stella’s hand and linked their fingers. The pressur
e settled her stomach. “No. Stella and I are partners.”
Turning his back on his friend, Zach bent his knees to look at her. She couldn’t see Andrew through Zach’s body, but even with the illusion of privacy, she sensed the other man’s restlessness.
“What’s going on?” she whispered.
“I let you down,” he said clearly.
Her heart dropped into her stomach like a hammer coming down. “What?”
“I couldn’t get access to my money right away. The bank wasn’t able to let me borrow against my properties or cash out the investment.”
Stella kept her breath steady. Okay. So he’d gotten a loan? She’d tried to do the same.
“I borrowed the money from Andrew.”
She stepped back even as she opened her mouth to gasp. No sound came out, and she felt like she was choking on dry air. She pointed around him. “That Andrew? The one currently embroiled in a public scandal? You let me put his money into my father’s clinic when you knew how much I didn’t want outside help?”
“Stella,” he said, the emotion in his voice cracking her heart. “I’m sorry. I’m going to fix it.”
“How?” She stepped back farther. “How could you possibly fix it?” She pressed her hand against her chest, trying to press the ache back inside.
Zach turned to Andrew. “I’ll have your money for you soon. Very soon. There’s no record of anything which I’m guessing you thought was smart thinking on your part but wasn’t. You can’t prove any financial connection between us, and you sure as hell can’t connect any dots to this clinic. I’ll have the money wired to you, but I don’t ever want to see you again.”
Andrew’s face paled, and even though her own anger bubbled like a pot about to boil over, she felt a twinge of sympathy for the man. He looked ten years older than when he’d walked into the house.
“Believe it or not, the money isn’t why I was calling, or why I’m here. I need a favor.”
Zach’s harsh bark of laughter was as far from humorous as it could get. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. You want a favor? There was no way you didn’t know when you lent me the money that this storm was brewing, that it was coming right at you. You let me think you believed in me and the truth was, you were just looking to store a little cash for a rainy day. Off the books.”
Andrew let out a weary sigh, shoving both hands in his pockets. He didn’t deny anything Zach said and now, despite her anger, Stella’s sympathy tiptoed toward Zach. She knew what it was like to have someone special let her down. Use her. Walk away without a backward glance.
“I’m not proud of anything I did, but my faith in you was one hundred percent genuine. You are one of the best veterinarians I’ve ever worked with. You have more heart than anyone I’ve met. I wish I could say I was half the man you are, but I’m not. But I am sorry. Really damn sorry. And I hate asking you for anything, even my money back, but I need more than that. I need you to be a character witness and sign a document saying the money I gave you was not in connection with Pet Central. That it was a personal donation for a community project we’re working on together.”
Stella felt like she might throw up. She pressed her free hand to her stomach.
Zach put his hands to his hips and bent his head. When he lifted it, looked at Andrew, she could feel the anger vibrating off him.
“You want me to lie for you?”
“I need you to do me a favor, just as I did you one so you could be part of this…” Andrew stopped, gestured to the window in the direction of the clinic. “Part of this run-down practice you were desperate to join. It’s not a big deal, and there’s no reason to get all worked up. I just need a letter saying we’re in a partnership, it’s aboveboard and the money was donated from my own account. Then I’ll be out of your life.”
“Get out.” Zach’s voice shook, and Stella wrapped her arms around herself, trying to fight the chill she felt.
“Zach,” Andrew said, his tone pleading.
“Get the fuck out. I’ll wire your money to you. You don’t want me as a character witness, Andrew. Trust me on that. Because obviously, I never knew you at all.”
Stella’s heart clenched at the crestfallen look on Zach’s face. Though he clearly meant it, he didn’t feel good about it. And even now, while she worried the exact same thing was true of her—that she didn’t know Zach at all—she ached for him. Because she knew what it was like to be let down by someone you loved. Even though she’d promised herself it would never happen again, that too had been a lie. Standing here now, looking at Zach, seeing his pain and feeling it as her own, she knew she loved him. Once again, she’d chosen wrong. And the only person she had to blame was herself. She’d known better, and she’d fallen anyway.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Zach walked Andrew to the door, more to slam it behind him than anything else. He pressed his head to the cool wood for a second and then straightened up, turning toward the kitchen. Stella stood in the hall between the living room and the door. His hands reached out, and she stepped back. It was like she’d kicked him the heart.
“You should go.” Her tone was eerily calm. It made his blood cool and his heart pound.
“Stella, please. We need to talk,” he said, unable to keep his own voice steady.
“The time for talking would have been when you couldn’t get the money. When you gave me the check. Before we’d slept together. After we’d slept together. Basically, any time before your friend showed up on my doorstep looking for you.”
Her doorstep. Her home. Her business. He’d worked so fucking hard to work his way in, and he’d wrecked it all by doing the one thing he shouldn’t have—withholding information.
“I should have. You’re right. But I wanted to fix it.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, and he saw her shiver. He wanted—needed—to pull her into his arms but he’d lost that right.
“It wasn’t broken. Until you.”
She turned her back on him and walked to the living room. The dogs were sleeping by the fireplace. They were so used to his presence, they’d didn’t stir.
“That’s not entirely true,” he said. He didn’t want her calm facade. He deserved to be yelled at. He deserved her anger. He’d expected it. The aloof shield was worse.
She didn’t turn until she’d walked to the window. Putting distance between them, he’d bet. Physically, emotionally. She was right fucking there, and he already missed her.
Her gaze was quiet like the air between them. He hated it. Even when she had been adamant about not letting him in, there’d been a spark in her eyes. Now, they were empty. You did that.
“I was surviving. I would have figured it out.”
“You were drowning.”
She scowled, and his heart lurched. He’d take any show of emotion he could get from her right now.
“Maybe so, but I was doing it on my own terms.”
He wasn’t arguing semantics with her, especially since he knew he was dead wrong. Taking a couple steps toward her, he stopped in the center of the floor when she backed up so she was touching the wall. Breathing through his nose, he told himself she had the right to be hurt. To not want him close.
“I’m sorry, Stella. I was wrong, and I will fix this. The money isn’t linked to you in any way. I won’t have anything to do with Andrew again. I feel like an idiot for taking the money. Andrew has been like a dad to me. More than just a boss or a teacher. He was a mentor and someone I trusted. At the time, I was happy that he considered me worth the risk.”
A flash of pain came and went in her gaze. “Funny, I thought you were, too.”
He swallowed down the groan of pain her words caused. “Stella, I should have said something. I was wrong. People make mistakes. But we can get past this. Being here with you, not just in the clinic or in your home, but with you, is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t want to lose you. I’ll do anything to make this right.”
Her shoulders stiff
ened, and she pressed off the wall. “You can’t. You can’t make it right.” She was back to that emotionless tone that felt like shards of glass raking over his skin. “You know how I feel about people keeping things from me. You knew how I felt about accepting help, big business, outsiders taking part in my father’s legacy. You knew all of that. And you still held out. Even today, you could have come clean, but you didn’t.”
Panic ramped up his pulse like he was back in the army running drills. “I was scared you’d shut me out like you’re doing right now. You’re not exactly easy to get close to, Stella. Chipping away at your shell is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. You’re right, I should have told you. I knew it the whole time and especially today, but every single day I’ve been with you, all I could think was how much more I want with you. And I was terrified of ruining this, what we have.”
Ignoring her obvious body language, he stepped closer and put his hands on her shoulders. “I was scared because I’m crazy about you.”
Her lips quivered, and it broke his fucking heart. Because it was his fault. “At least Steven didn’t know.”
Like she’d given him a gut shot, he dropped his hands and curled his shoulders. “What?” His voice was thick.
“I never opened up to anyone the way I did to you. Not even Megan or Taylor, and they’re my closest friends. I never told anyone else about my dad’s heart condition. I didn’t think I had anything left to give after Steven. I felt stupid and naïve. I planned to marry him and still, I never let him in the way I did you. I never let him know me the way you do. Did. The money doesn’t matter anymore because, as you said, it’ll be cleared up soon enough and our names aren’t attached. Though, I wonder why, if you can suddenly get that money, you didn’t just ask me for more time rather than give me someone else’s money. I’ll refund your investment. I want you to go.”
“You can’t afford to return the money, and I don’t fucking want it. I want this, Stella. Us.” He knew how to fight but he was losing. She was building up her wall, one metaphorical brick at a time right in front of him.