Black Gold

by Angelika Robinson

  My body reenacts the pleasure of being in Magnus’ arms.

  Pleasure: true pleasure.

  I manage to tiptoe my way out, glad that his floors are carpet, not creaky wood. I dress myself in the light of his corridor, realizing that I can’t find my panties — but that’s all fine. It’s not like Magnus can’t just return them to me. I wonder if it’s not too late to change my habits and crawl back into bed with him.

  No, I can’t. I’m ready to be his, but I’m not ready to change myself for him. Not yet.

  Yet being with him has been an experience that’s hard for me to explain. I can feel a burden slip off of me, and I know it’s the feeling of progress. The feeling of letting a shameful past finally fade away. That it should cloud me no longer.

  “Oh, Magnus,” I whisper with a smile. My shoes! Where are my shoes?

  My walk of shame finds a brief, comfortable reprieve as a cab turns out to be waiting outside Magnus’ building. The driver looks at me and asks, “I presume you’re having a good night?”

  “The night was over a long time ago,” I laugh to myself. “But I’m having a pretty great morning.”

  “You want me to drop you off at an IHOP or something? Late meal?” he smiles. “Or straight back home?”

  “Home is where the heart is,” I say.

  “Roger that, ma’am,” he says.

  When I get home, Phil is still awake. I can tell he’s been playing video games all night, his eyes red from tiredness. “Shit, it’s almost two in the morning? I have work tomorrow!”

  “So do I,” I wink at him.

  He pauses, looking at me, giving me a full once-over. “Girl, that billionaire better be worth it.”

  “Oh, he is,” I smile wide. I’m so happy that Phil’s here for me to gush all about my night. Which of course I immediately do, keeping the choicest, juiciest moments of the night to myself — nobody needs to know about that.

  “You seem happy, Shaleigh,” he says, giving me a benevolent, friendly smile. I feel touched by his warmth. “You should enjoy it. How long has it been since you’ve enjoyed yourself, for real, girl?”

  “Too long, Phil,” I nod, feeling sad all of a sudden. “Far too long.”

  I bid him goodnight with a friendly, sister-like hand through his hair, and then make my way to my bedroom.

  It feels good to fall asleep in my own bed.

  Magnus will understand. I hope.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Shaleigh, I’m going to find you. I’m going to find you, and when I get my hands on you…” the voice in my nightmare goes, slick with menace, “you’re gonna wish you never left me.”

  I wake up with a start, tears rolling down my cheeks. “Goddamn all of this,” I mutter, looking out the window to see nothing but dark.

  The shudders that take over me are enough to keep me from sleeping again.

  Sitting up in bed, I find myself hating that such a great night — being with Magnus — had to end this way. Sleeping alone in my own bed, because I’m just too damn independent for my own good.

  And then dreaming about everything I’ve been trying to avoid.

  Shaleigh, the voice goes, trailing away like some sort of ghost.

  “Goddamn you,” I whisper. This is me at my realest. Uncomposed. I’m not the fancy Shaleigh Williams who’s been working every day as the secretary for a handsome, sexy billionaire — the very same billionaire I’m dating. No, this is me, always looking behind my back, worrying and wondering that I’ll never be able to sit safe again.

  McDonough, Georgia seems like such a long way.

  I slowly tiptoe my way to the living room, not wanting to wake up Phil. I can hear his gentle snores in the corridor. He has this weird thing where he sleeps with his door just slightly open.

  “Doesn’t make me feel so claustrophobic,” he explained the first night after I moved in.

  I wonder if I can explain everything to Magnus, if he ever presses me about my past.

  Can I tell him about Dennis?

  I don’t even want to think about it.

  Dennis, of course, is the ex from hell. Literally from hell. I wouldn’t be surprised if he reveals, one day, that he’s actually an honest to goodness demon. The hot-headed sheriff’s deputy who’ll charm you one second and then slap you around for even daring to laugh at him.

  I can feel my cheek sting as if he was hovering above me, choking me.

  Leaving McDonough in disgrace was one thing. But leaving my family behind, leaving Grandma to have to deal with Dennis’ manipulative, subtly abusive methods? I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for that.

  My biggest fear is that I’m throwing myself into this city life in hopes of finding a savior. Could that ever be Magnus? I’d never subject any man to that… yet it would be so easy, just so tempting, to go forth with that hope in mind.

  That I can replace one man with another. That I don’t have to fight my own battles.

  The next thing I know, Phil’s waking me up with a nudge.

  “Jesus, Shell,” he says, shaking his head. “The hell are you doing asleep slumped against the dining table? You sleepwalking or something?”

  I blink my way awake. “Nothing, just… bad dreams. Thought I’d make myself some coffee.”

  “Well, luckily for you, I made you some. But if the clock’s anything to go by, you don’t have much time to drink it. Don’t you have work today?”

  He’s right. I’ll have to get ready and leave immediately, or else I’d be late. And now that I’m working in the outer office, with the other girls… being late is not a privilege I can get away with.

  Dating the boss or not.

  I shudder at the thought of checking my phone. There are a ton of notifications, but I’m not in the state of mind to go through them. They can wait ’til I’m on the way to work.

  Of course, I had to pull this stunt off on the one day Phil’s off from work, meaning I can’t even rely on him to give me a ride.

  No amount of pleading makes him budge.

  “I really don’t like the idea of being stuck in traffic on a day I just want to kick back and catch up on all the episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race I’ve missed, sorry, girl,” he says, apologetically.

  “That’s okay,” I say, rushing off to my room to pick out an outfit.

  This is usually the part of my day when I put on my armor. The clothes, the makeup, the getting ready, the looking myself in the full-length mirror and telling myself that I, Shaleigh Williams, fear no man, no job, no force of nature.

  That I can face the world with nothing but sass and the God-given ability to read people so well I’m ready for them even before they know what they want.

  Today, it feels like I haven’t got that skill. I feel like my body’s sagging. Even picking out the best pencil skirt I own that accentuates my legs doesn’t help.

  “Fuck,” I offer a rare expletive. Things are not going well for me today.

  Naturally, I arrive late at work.

  Cindy glares at me when I arrive, but otherwise says nothing. I’ve forgotten to wear a watch today but my phone tells me I’m just about twenty minutes late — surely that’s forgivable?

  “Shaleigh, make sure this is a one-off event,” Cindy says, with curt coldness. “You may act like a princess, but everybody here sticks by the rules or is dumped on the street. Got it?”

  I try to keep my gaze fixed on her, not wanting to look weak. I nod. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Don’t yes, ma’am her,” a bold, strong voice comes from behind me — Magnus to the rescue.

  Except I don’t need a rescuer. No, I don’t need a savior. Not here, not at work. This is my job, not his. I spin around and see the billionaire. He offers me a smile and a nod.

  Everyone is staring.

  “Excuse me, Mr Boyd,” Cindy quickly mutters.

  “Cindy, learn to allocate your anger appropriately. What Shaleigh’s done is perfectly forgivable,” Magnus says, sounding like the most generous man in the
world.

  I bite my tongue, unwilling to contradict him. But I don’t want to look like he’s intentionally favoring me. So I walk straight to my desk, with the other girls keeping their gaze on me.

  “And don’t forget to assign her to the side project — I need a good secretary on this,” Magnus adds.

  Keeping my head down for the rest of the day, I stick to my basic tasks — delegating the jobs Magnus wants given to his corporate lieutenants.

  Yet I can’t help but constantly think about Dennis and the threat in my dream.

  Could he track me down here in the city? I’ve moved all the way from the South to the East Coast, and it wasn’t until I entered the city limits that I truly felt like I was out of his control.

  But that isn’t enough for someone as dogged and persistent as him. He made me leave, told me to get out or I’d get even more hurt, and then he spread the rumors that destroyed my standing in our small community.

  And in the weeks it’s been since I departed in disgrace, he’s tried to contact me. He’s called. He’s emailed. He’s even sent me money into my bank account, putting little unavoidable messages in the recipient info — MISS YOU, SEE YOU SOON, I’LL FIND YOU.

  Dennis must never be able to find me. He’s ruined my life enough.

  There’s an email that arrives, noting its way into my inbox with a little ding, and I quickly skim through it. It’s from Cindy, CC’ing Magnus, with information on the side project I’ve been assigned to.

  It’s officially called Acquisition 205, which doesn’t really tell me anything. But it has something to do with Australia.

  I can’t focus on anything. I’m struggling to even read words on a screen.

  For a minute, I bury my face in my hands, hoping against hope that I’ll be able to get through today.

  My phone rings. “Yes?” I quickly answer, my heart beating fast — irrationally so.

  “It’s Cindy. The email server marked the message read, but you hadn’t replied, so I’m just here to inform you that the Acquisition 205 team is meeting in an hour in Boardroom B, on the fifth floor. Are you doing alright, Shaleigh? This doesn’t seem like you,” she says.

  I glance over to her circular desk at the reception area. My heart goes out to her for asking me with what strikes me as genuine kindness. “I’m fine, Cindy, thank you so much,” I murmur, but my voice sounds hollow. “Boardroom B. Got it.”

  “Magnus personally assigned you to this, so make sure you don’t mess this up,” she says, the cutting words masked by a motherly tone. She’s right, though.

  I while away the hour leading to the meeting by working on writing a memo to Legal about a request Magnus wanted to check on earlier this week.

  Everything seems to work on autopilot. I ignore everything else but my computer, but then a subtle alarm buzzes on my phone and I know it’s time to head to the boardroom for the meeting.

  As I stand up, Magnus emerges from the inner office, followed by Salma, carrying a thick folder of documents.

  I have a pen and a notepad in hand, looking distinctly less prepared.

  “Walk with us,” Magnus instructs, as he holds open the elevator door for his two secretaries.

  “Hi,” I murmur with a quick nod to both Magnus and Salma.

  The bodacious Latina — who seems to radiate more and more va-va-voom beauty each time I see her, something that gives me a rare sense of jealousy — smiles warmly at me. “How are you, Shaleigh? Everything going okay?”

  I try not to interpret every comment by everyone about how I’m doing as some sort of condescending remark. I have to keep the sass in check. I match her smile with one of my own.

  “Did you read the cover email Cindy sent?” Magnus asks. He’s got his deep, commanding voice on — his eyes spill warmth to me, but I can tell he’s trying his hardest to show some sort of neutrality on his part.

  “Australia,” I say in as professional a tone as I can muster. And I carefully try to regain the elegant, poised composure I’ve always prided myself on having. It doesn’t seem to work today.

  I am too self-conscious about myself in everything I do today.

  Magnus does all the talking. “Salma will work on the minutes, but I want you to document all the off-minute details. We’ll be tossing a few ideas, and I’ll note to you the ones I want to explore further. I figure that’s plenty.”

  As soon as we enter the boardroom, which is already occupied with everyone from three-piece suit wearing lawyers to t-shirted creatives, a buzz of people talking over other people begins.

  “Alright, alright, let’s settle down,” Magnus says. “This is Project Australia. As you know, I’ve been meaning to get us into the Oceania market for ages, and this is our chance to get into some serious energy operations there. We’re going to take over an Australian energy company that’s started registering some losses over the last three quarters. We have to move fast on this.”

  I feel lost trying to document what everyone’s trying to say. A lot of numbers are pushed out, there’s a presentation that makes no sense to me, and the PowerPoint slides offer no context to the figures being mentioned.

  Salma keeps her head down, frowning at the laptop in front of her. I’m doing about as well as she is.

  Every few minutes, Magnus will gesture with a pen towards me, telling me that’s an idea to note down. I do my best to touch-type everything that’s being spoken, making use of my own shorthand to quickly summarize everything being said.

  I finally get to smile: see, girl, you know what you’re doing. Got that shorthand secretary game on.

  For some reason, my internal voice sounds just like Phil.

  By the time I emerge from the meeting, with Magnus conspicuously helping me and blowing me a kiss, I find my mind practically split into two.

  On one hand, there’s Dennis still on my mind. That I’ve been putting everything off out of avoidance, and that it’s time to start making sure he’s nowhere near finding me.

  But on the other hand, there’s one exciting thing about this new project — looks like we’ll be going to Australia.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Magnus emails me privately — inasmuch as a billionaire’s corporate account can be fully private. “Let’s make some time for each other this week,” he says in the email he fires, and when I look from my spot in the outer office towards his desk at the corner in the inner office, I see him wink.

  After a week of working hard on this Australia project, liaising with people who sadly are not Magnus himself, I get into a rhythm that I had previously been struggling to reach. Cindy and Salma thank me for my help, telling me that I’m making things so much easier for them.

  A few days into the project, even someone in the Acquisitions team passes me during lunch and says I have project manager potential.

  “I’m just a secretary,” I smile. But the compliment feels wonderful.

  It’s late in the day when Magnus calls me over to join him. “Helipad time,” he says, winking at me. The other girls have all gone. I’m in the middle of writing a report of a sub-committee meeting that the head of Acquisitions wants. “That can wait,” Magnus adds.

  I smile and join him.

  After all the stress I’ve been feeling lately, it’s nice to just be able to enjoy an evening alone with the man I want.

  We take the emergency staircase up to the helipad, and I spot a small plastic table with two seats. And a single rose in a vase.

  “That’s going to interfere with your helicopter landing, I suspect,” I tease Magnus.

  “Good thing I’ve loaned the helicopter out to our team in Los Angeles,” he replies. “So! Time to touch base. Sorry I’ve been so busy. And sorry I’ve been making you so busy.”

  I shrug. “That’s work. Plus it makes the downtime a lot more worth it, you know? I’m so glad we’re here right now.”

  He reaches out to hold my hands. His strong, large hands, with the firm grip that manages to instantly convey all his feelings f
or me, makes me instantly melt.

  There’s so much chemistry between us. His eyes aim right for me, and sometimes I can’t even match his gaze. He’s really trying, and that means the world to me.

  I think this can work. Maybe, just maybe, all these obstacles in my head can just… go away. He’s what I want.

  “Let me tell you a bit about my childhood,” Magnus says. “I grew up privileged, I know that. Maids and butlers and staff. Never wanted for anything. Home-schooled, with tutors culled from the best private schools. It was lonely, and the one thing I learned the most was that the only person capable of taking care of me was myself. I might have been surrounded by staff, but I wasn’t coddled. I grew up quicker than most.”

  “Sounds similar,” I smile warmly at him. “Except with none of the penthouses and private jets. Loving family, in my case.”

  “The whole time I was a young man, it was drilled into my head that I didn’t even have to join the family business. You see, my father, he wanted me to be so comfortable I could pursue anything I wanted. Be an artist. Or an astronaut. Be a professional poker player. Or do nothing at all. But that never was me. The sense of destiny that I would be here, that I would sit in the same chair my grandfather and my father sat in to helm Boyd Industries… that was all me. I knew that was what I wanted. And that’s always helped me out a lot — knowing what I want.”

  He nods at me, placing a hand on my thigh. The tremble of delight feels incredibly good. He leans in to give me a quick peck of a kiss, my lips burning with anticipation with every inch of the gap closing between us.

  “You’re what I want, Shaleigh,” he says.

  There’s something exotic about the way he pronounces my name, sounding confident with every clipped, enunciated syllable. In the alpha male’s mouth, my name is something he savors. I’ve never felt so… precious.

  “I feel the same way too,” I tell him. “And I want us to be able to face that together. So, can I ask you a big question? It’s scary, I have to confess. And I wouldn’t judge you in the least if you were scared too.”

  “Nothing scares me,” Magnus beams at me. “And you don’t have to ask it. I know. I’m observant too, Shaleigh. You want to know if there’s a relationship here.”