Worry Magic

by Dawn McNiff

  MAIN RECEPTION. That would be a start.

  I followed the arrow, and took a path through a maze of buildings until I found some huge, swishing doors.

  It was busy inside. Nurses in a hurry, people being pushed in wheelchairs. I walked slowly now, past the cafe and shop, staring up at all the different ward names.

  CHANCTON ICU.

  Was that right?

  Dad’s note by the phone had said ‘Chancton Ward’, not ICU, but maybe that was it?

  Floor 5.

  I went up in the lift. I was worried that someone might think I’d escaped from the children’s ward and take me back there, but it was so packed that no one seemed to notice I was by myself.

  Another glassy, cold corridor, and then double doors, which said Chancton I.C. Unit across the top.

  A young nurse with pink lipstick sat behind a desk. She smiled at me.

  ‘Erm … I’m looking for Chancton Ward,’ I said. My face was burning up and I was trying not to look guilty.

  ‘You found us,’ she said. ‘Do you know someone in here?’

  ‘Yes, my gran … Pat Ramson.’

  ‘Oh yes, our lovely Pat. But I’m so sorry – it’s not visiting time for a couple of hours, and we have to be strict about it, so our patients can get some rest.’ Then she sort of frowned. ‘And I wouldn’t want you to go in alone, love. Are you here by yourself?’

  I started to nod, and then stopped myself. ‘No … my mum … she’s in the … er … loo,’ I lied, and looked at my feet as even my ears went hot. Such bad lying. I was just rubbish at it.

  And what should I do now? She wasn’t going to let me in … I’d come all this way for nothing.

  But I HAD to try and see Gran!

  ‘Is my gran in there?’ I said, pointing to a room on the left with a long window. ‘Can I just peep at her? Just a teensy peep … please.’

  The nurse hesitated. ‘Well … OK … but really just for a second.’

  She led me to the open door of the ward and pointed in. It was full of people in beds – all with tubes and machines and stuff.

  ‘There’s Pat – she’s sleeping –’ the nurse began. Then the phone started ringing, so she squeezed my shoulder and went back to her desk.

  I couldn’t even see Gran at first, and then I did.

  She was two beds along, but half behind a curtain. Her eyes were closed and she was flopped out on her bed, wearing a nightie and some funny, stretchy, white hospital tights.

  I could see tubes coming out of her arm and chest, attached to machines.

  My heart sped up. She looked SO little and thin. Not really like Gran at all.

  My tummy started butterflying. I couldn’t swallow.

  Poor Gran – she really looked worse than I thought. It was horrible. How would she ever get better?

  I took some long breaths and put my palm on the window to steady myself. Whoa – wobbly …

  And then I realised what was happening. The worry magic was on its way.

  It actually was!

  The world was turning and my legs were like mush.

  I let it take me.

  I put my back against the cold wall, and slid down it onto the floor.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  The dream was the slowest and clearest ever. And it was more like a film this time, except I was looking out of my own eyes.

  I was by Gran’s bed. I touched her hand, and she looked up and gave me a huge smile. Then she pulled back her covers, swung out of bed, tugging out all her tubes – it didn’t even seem to hurt her. Then she took her pink checked coat and her best butterfly scarf out of her cupboard, and put them on ready to go home …

  Then a phone rang. LOUD. I startled out of my dream and pinged open my eyes.

  The nurse!

  No, it was okay – she was talking on the phone again. She hadn’t even noticed me on the floor.

  I jumped to my feet quickly.

  OMG. That dream was more than awesome. Gran had even put on her coat and scarf ready to leave. It had to have come true! I’d worried SO much about Gran that I’d surely made some very STRONG worry magic. But now I needed to get over to Gran so it could all happen …

  The lipsticky nurse was still talking at her desk, her back turned.

  So, double-quick, I scampered into the ward.

  I was at Gran’s bedside in a second.

  Oh, it was happening just right! Just like I’d dreamt it.’

  ‘Gran?’ I squeaked, a big lump rising in my throat.

  ‘It’s OK, sweetheart. I’m just a bit weedy,’ she wheezed in a tiny, cracked voice.

  But she was more than weedy. I could see that. She was very ill.

  I rocked on my feet.

  The magic hadn’t worked!

  But why not? There was no reason this time. I’d worried well, and the dream had been perfect.

  I let out the biggest sob.

  I kind of staggered, and fell onto my knees next to the bed, burying my head in her blankets.

  ‘Oh, Gran! I can’t make you better, can I … ’

  The desk nurse came rushing in just then, pulling at my arm, telling me to mind Gran’s tubes, saying loads of stuff, but I wasn’t listening at all.

  I just stayed there, hugging Gran tighter as sob after sob shuddered through me.

  Gran was patting my head and making the soft, soothing humming she used to make if we got hurt when we were little.

  I didn’t want to let go of her – not ever, ever.

  Chapter Thirty-two

  The nurse was trying to be nice about it, but she wasn’t one bit happy.

  ‘I can see you’re upset. But you really must come back at visiting time,’ she said, crisply. ‘Please let me help you find your mother now.’

  Gran patted my head.

  ‘Where’s Mum, darling?’ she whispered, huskily. ‘Best find her and come back later, eh, baby girl?’

  ‘But Mum and Dad won’t LET me,’ I wailed, still clinging to her. ‘I’ve been asking and asking to come! And I’ve got loads to tell you … I’ve been so, so worried.’

  I yanked my letter out of my pocket. ‘I even wrote you a letter about it!’

  The nurse said something about the matron, but I didn’t take any notice of her. Then I heard her turn and leave.

  I tore open the envelope and put my letter in Gran’s hand. ‘Can you see? There’s some Puddy fur on it.’ But she couldn’t really see properly without lifting her head, and she didn’t have her glasses on. So I took her finger and stroked it on the fur that was sticking out from the Sellotape.

  ‘Puddy misses you too much, Gran,’ I gulped. ‘He can’t bear it without you.’

  Gran looked up at me sadly, brought my hand to her face and kissed it. ‘He can manage much better than he thinks, you know,’ she said, softly.

  I didn’t really know what Gran meant, so I turned the letter over.

  ‘And look – on the bac-k-k,’ I stuttered, ‘I wrote a whole list of worry-wig worries for you. I even guessed some of the flavours, but they might not be right.’

  She smiled gently then.

  ‘What a good idea to write them down!’ she said, in a weak voice. ‘But even better, next to each worrying thing, you could write one good thing that might happen too … Can you do that? Show me it next time?’

  ‘OK, Gran … I’ll try,’ I whispered. Even though I couldn’t think of any good things … not any.

  I laid my head on her arm again, being careful not to bang any of her tubes. Her blankets didn’t smell like Gran – they smelt of nothing, like dust.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the nurse outside the ward window, talking to a much older nurse in a different uniform, pointing over and frowning – I knew she was telling on me. Then they both started marching towards the door, looking like they weren’t going to be put off this time.

  ‘They’re coming to get me now, Gran,’ I said, sitting up. ‘But don’t worry – I’ll come again soon! Even if Mum and Da
d won’t bring me. I’ll just climb the wall like … er … Puddy! He can come too!’

  I cuddled her one last time, and then just ran. Past the nurses and out of the ward, throwing myself against the heavy doors, and sprinting down the cold, glassy corridor. By the time I got to the lifts, I was crying so much that I couldn’t even see where I was going.

  The worry magic hadn’t worked on Gran, and I had no idea why not …

  But what I did know was that I couldn’t save her – not with magic, nor without it.

  Dad was right – there was nothing we could do but hope.

  Except Gran looked so poorly … so hopeless …

  The lifts were all closed. I stabbed all the buttons loads of times, but still none of them came.

  For ages.

  Then finally a lift door opened.

  And there was Kyle.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  ‘You left your yellow swimming bag behind, so I knew you hadn’t gone to the pool,’ Kyle said, matter-of-factly, holding the lift with his foot. ‘And I somehow guessed you were coming here. But then it took me ages to find the right ward.’

  I nodded. My lips trembled, and then I burst.

  ‘The magic didn’t w-w-ork,’ I spluttered through my sobs. ‘I came to worry Gran better. And I had a dream, but she’s stayed poorly. And then I got thrown out.’

  Kyle didn’t say anything. He didn’t even roll his eyes. He just pulled me into the lift. On the ground floor, he took me by the shoulders and guided me, along the hospital corridors, through all the people and out of the exit. I was crying so much my teeth were chattering. When we got outside, he turned his back to me and stretched out his arms behind him.

  ‘Jump on,’ he said, quietly.

  So I did. And he carried me piggy-back all the way home, through the pelting rain. He took a winding way home, down emptier streets, so we didn’t see anyone. I think he was doing that for me, but I didn’t care who saw us. I just pulled up my hood, hid my face in the back of his neck and cried.

  He didn’t say anything and he didn’t stop – except to shrug me higher up his back – even though I must have weighed a total ton.

  When we got back, he dropped me down on our doorstep. He was bright red and puffing like mad.

  ‘Thank you,’ I whispered, wiping my face on my coat.

  He just nodded.

  But then when we stepped into the porch, we both heard it.

  Mum and Dad inside. Screaming and shouting again. Surely Dad should be at work by now?

  We froze and looked each other.

  ‘I bought the van for MY new business,’ Mum was yelling. ‘You can’t just nick it for yours.’

  ‘I don’t see why I can’t use it as well,’ Dad growled back. ‘I’ve got to transport my tools and mower somehow. And I paid for it too.’

  OMG, Mum must’ve shown Dad the ice-cream van. And now they were fighting over it. Just like I’d worried they would when I’d got her to hide it at the sanctuary.

  Except I’d never guessed they’d argue because they both WANTED it.

  I sighed. However well I worried, I’d never be able to think of everything that might go wrong, would I? Not without a fairy crystal ball. It was pointless too. The magic only lasted ten minutes, and then they fought again.

  And it hadn’t even worked on the most important thing … Gran.

  I looked at Kyle, expecting him to tell me to keep out of it, like he usually did. But he didn’t say anything. He just bent down and started untying his trainers, so I couldn’t see his face.

  Not that he needed to say anything to me. I was going to leave well alone this time. I’d actually had it with trying to fix them. I just felt zombie-tired – like I could sleep for a billion, trillion years.

  But we still needed to get past them into the house. I wondered if we should put our shoes back on, and nip round to the back door

  I tugged at Kyle’s sleeve to say that, but he wouldn’t look at me. He was staring straight ahead at the door, listening to Mum and Dad go on and on. His cheeks were even redder under his freckles now, and his hands were balled up. Suddenly his nose wrinkled, and then without a word, he rammed the door open with his foot and stamped into the lounge. I followed in behind, gawping.

  ‘MUM, DAD!’ His voice filled the room. ‘JUST STOP IT!’

  Mum and Dad both turned around with shocked faces, and shut up instantly. No one had ever heard Kyle shout like that before. It didn’t even sound like his voice.

  This was so unlike keep-your-head-down, Tin-Man Kyle that we all simply stared at him like he’d just walked through a wall or something.

  ‘YOU JUST FIGHT ALL THE TIME,’ he roared. ‘SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST SPLIT UP AND GIVE US ALL SOME PEACE? WHY DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT US FOR A CHANGE?’

  He was shaking – juddering from head to foot. I was scared he might even fall over, so I stepped forward and put my arm round him to hold him up.

  ‘I’m so sorry –’ whispered Mum in a cracked voice. ‘I’m so sorry, Kylsie … ’

  ‘Yes, son … ’ began Dad, putting his hand out to Kyle. ‘I’m –’

  But Kyle slapped his hand away and bounded up the stairs two at a time.

  I gave Mum and Dad both a daggers look and ran up the stairs after Kyle.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Kyle’s bedroom door was shut.

  I knocked gently, went in and closed the door behind me. Keep out, parents.

  Kyle was right under his Man U duvet – all I could see were some hamstery tufts of hair sticking out on his pillow.

  ‘It’s just me,’ I whispered. ‘Can I come in?’

  He nodded his head, snuffling.

  I clambered onto the end of his bed, and sat with my back against the wall, and my feet under his duvet.

  We were quiet for a while, apart from the odd sniffle from Kyle.

  ‘That was so cool,’ I said. ‘You really TOLD them.’

  ‘Yeah, like it’s going to make any difference!’ said Kyle, propping himself up on one elbow. He didn’t have his glasses on, his hair was all rumpled, and his face was still pink and damp. It made him look sort of younger.

  ‘But you made them stop … and listen!’ I said.

  ‘Huh,’ he said. ‘Well, they only made nice, because they didn’t want to upset you.’

  ‘No … not me … YOU!’ I said.

  He shrugged, and scrubbed his eyes with his fists. It was like he really thought they only cared about ME.

  ‘They love us both, you know,’ I whispered. ‘Silly.’

  He shrugged again and puffed out a big breath.

  ‘Well, I guess they do,’ he sighed. ‘Your magic wouldn’t work if they didn’t.’ And he gave me a little smile.

  I couldn’t believe my ears.

  ‘Ah! Since when d’you believe in magic, Tin Man?’

  ‘I dunno. Just that kind, maybe.’

  ‘That kind?’

  ‘You know … ’ He glanced away, a bit coy. ‘Love and all that.’

  He flicked my knee. ‘But don’t tell anyone, Hermione.’

  He said it kindly, so I didn’t scowl.

  I leant my head back, tracing the strands of cobweb that looped across Kyle’s ceiling, back and forth with my eyes.

  ‘But what if they actually DO split up?’ I said, under my breath, half to myself.

  ‘It’ll be bleak,’ said Kyle from his pillow. ‘But we’d cope.’

  ‘Even without Gran?’ I said. ‘Oh, Kyle, she looks so bad. What if she never comes home again?’

  Kyle didn’t answer.

  There was a long pause – tears were trickling slowly down my throat and back off my cheeks into my ears. And then suddenly Kyle spun over onto his tummy and buried his face in his pillow.

  He was crying.

  It took me completely by surprise. Kyle was like Dad in that way – he never cried. That had always been my job.

  I crawled up his bed and lay along next to him, patting him awkwardly while he s
hook.

  ‘We just have to hope and hope that the operation works and Gran gets better,’ I said, my tears plopping onto his duvet. ‘And we’ll go and see her loads – every day! – we’ll MAKE Mum and Dad take us.’

  He nodded into his pillow while I rubbed his back. It was like all of a sudden I was older and he was very little.

  Then we didn’t speak for ages.

  ‘And by the way, I’m going to come and watch you play footie,’ I whispered, resting my chin on his back. ‘Even if Dad doesn’t.’

  He just stuck his hand out of the covers, grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

  Chapter Thirty-five

  I slid out to the loo.

  But Mum was on the landing when I opened the door, folding clean towels into the airing cupboard.

  ‘Oh, there you are, Courts, darling.’ She went pink, and stuffed a towel unfolded onto the shelf. ‘Is Kyle OK?’

  I just looked at my feet, and didn’t answer.

  She came over and hugged me, and I let her.

  ‘I wanted to tell you and Kyle something,’ she said into my hair. ‘Me and Dad realise things have got completely out of hand, so we’ve agreed to go to Relate. You know, like counselling … ’

  Counselling. What was that, then?

  Mum had taken my shoulders, and was holding me away from her so she could look at me. I could tell she was going to get all lovey-dovey, but then the doorbell rang.

  ‘Oh,’ said Mum, glancing towards the stairs. ‘That might be Lois for you – she came earlier, when you were out. She said she’d pop back.’

  Lois?

  I hopped down into the hall.

  Lois was in the porch. Her hair and coat were soaking.

  ‘Raining.’ She grinned and shook some raindrops at me. ‘Let me in, then.’

  She stepped into the hall.

  ‘You didn’t reply to my text! And I really want you to come swimming with me!’ She prodded my tummy with her finger.

  ‘What … with you and Bex?’ I said, rolling my eyes a bit.

  ‘No, you plank!’ said Lois. ‘I don’t want to be mean, but it really wasn’t any fun going with her. She’s just no good at swimming.’ She lowered her voice as if Bex might overhear. ‘She took ages to get in, and didn’t even want to get her hair wet. And when I splashed her by accident, she just sort of screamed and sank!’