The Rainbow Years

by Bradshaw, Rita

  It was Bruce who said, ‘We’re cousins,’ and although his manner hadn’t changed, Amy had seen the slight flash of puzzlement at her use of her maiden name.

  The queue of people behind the two men were now making it plain they felt they’d been patient long enough, and when Bruce said, ‘I’ll see you in the NAAFI tonight, yes? You’re going to the quiz?’ Amy nodded. She hadn’t been planning to go to the quiz between the RAF and the WAAF because it wasn’t her turn to serve behind the counter and she felt she had a cold coming. She had thought she’d have a bath in peace for once with everyone at the NAAFI and then return to the hut for an early night with her hot water bottle and a mug of cocoa. But of course everything was different now.

  ‘Big prizes on offer tonight.’ The pilot officer was talking again, laughter in his voice. ‘Two and six each in savings stamps.’

  She was more in control of herself this time but still the handsome face under its shock of raven hair disturbed her. Because of this her voice was unusually cool when she said, ‘I think that’s a very decent prize,’ but before he could say anything more, the pushing from behind became more pronounced and Bruce and his friend were forced to move on to the containers of stew and vegetables.

  ‘Your cousin, eh?’ Cassie was in charge of the next tub and her eyes followed Bruce and Nick as they went to sit down at a table some distance away. ‘Pity he’s just a wireless mechanic, he’s quite dishy.You know who that pilot is, don’t you? Nick Johnson?’

  ‘Nick Johnson, I presume,’ Amy said as drily as she could, considering how shaken up she felt at the sudden encounter with the past. Bruce here, of all people. But then if it had to be anyone, she was glad it was Bruce. She hoped he wouldn’t say anything about Charles, though, and did he know what had happened to make her leave Sunderland? Oh, she wished she could talk to him right now.

  ‘No, I don’t mean that, silly. What I meant is that he’s the one all the WAAFs are madly in love with. He was in the Battle of Britain, you know, shot down umpteen Germans, according to the grapevine. A real hero, you know? And he’s just so gorgeous, isn’t he? But he’s a real heartbreaker. Two or three dates and that’s your lot with Nick. Mind, it doesn’t put the girls off. It wouldn’t put me off if he asked.’

  Amy continued to dish up the potato as Cassie prattled on but she was only half listening. She should have said something to Bruce, tipped him the wink in some way not to mention to anyone she’d been married. Well, was still married technically. She didn’t want to have to talk about it to anyone, answer questions, have people look at her strangely. It was one thing to lose your husband in the war, several of the WAAFs had joined up because of that very thing, feeling they wanted to get back at Hitler for the loss of their husbands, but quite another to be separated as she and Charles were. In spite of the fact that a good number of the WAAFs were carrying on with someone or other - a few of them, like Cassie, with more than one - she would still stick out like a sore thumb if the truth were known.

  By the time they were back in the kitchens, a fatalistic calm had settled on her. She would go along to the quiz and cope with whatever presented itself, that was all she could do. And she’d already made the decision the night before to take up the threads of the past, so perhaps seeing Bruce was meant to be. And she was fond of Bruce; of all of them back home, he was the only one she could say she loved. He couldn’t have been better to her if she had been his real sister. And now she’d seen him, now she knew he was here on camp, she found she was suddenly hungry for news about everyone. She hadn’t expected that. She shook her head at her inconsistency and applied herself to the gigantic fruit crumble she was making.

  When Amy, Gertie and several others from their hut walked into the NAAFI later that evening, it was packed with airmen and WAAFS and there wasn’t a free table to be had. The noise was deafening and the beer looked to be flowing freely as everyone settled themselves for the quiz, deep-throated laughter erupting from a couple of the RAF tables now and again.There had been a bomber operation early that morning and two Spitfires had not made it back over the Channel; those who were mourning lost comrades were doing it in their own way and to hell with Hitler.

  Someone jostled against Amy and a few drops of beer splashed onto her jacket. As a male voice said, ‘Sorry,’ she turned round and found herself once again held by deep, clear green eyes. As they looked at each other, she noticed white laughter lines radiating from the corners of his eyes but it wasn’t only that which gave an impression of maturity. It was something in the way he held himself, in the set of his jaw. An arrogance. Without knowing why, Amy found herself bristling. She didn’t like Pilot Officer Nick Johnson, she decided, however the rest of the WAAF contingent viewed him.

  ‘Crowded tonight, isn’t it?’ He was talking easily and for a moment Amy wondered if he remembered her. Then he said, ‘Bruce has been looking for you. Have you seen him?’

  ‘No, no I haven’t.’

  ‘We’re on a table across there if you want to join us.’

  The white teeth flashed and she wondered if someone had told him he had the perfect smile.Then she chided herself for being bitchy. It wasn’t like her but then her whole reaction to the individual in front of her wasn’t like her. She wasn’t one for taking an instant dislike to anybody.

  ‘I’m with friends,’ she said flatly.

  ‘So? The more the merrier.’

  ‘I don’t think so, thank you.’ She hadn’t realised how tall he was earlier but he must have been at least six foot; he seemed to tower over her five foot six anyway. It was disconcerting.

  Then she was taken aback when he bent his head and murmured, ‘You don’t like me very much, do you? Why is that?’

  Out of the corner of her eye Amy could see Gertie and the others’ interested glances, and she forced a cool smile as she said,‘Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t know you, so how could I dislike you?’

  ‘I don’t know. That’s what I asked you.’

  ‘Look, sir—’

  ‘Oh, cut the sir drivel. We’re off duty, forget rank.’

  Amy drew in a long breath. He might be the most handsome man in the room but he was also the rudest.

  She wasn’t aware she was glaring until he said, laughter evident in his voice, ‘You’re even more beautiful when you’re angry.’

  ‘That’s the oldest line in the book.’

  ‘What book? I don’t have a book. I’ve never needed one.’ He grinned at her. ‘That’s the sort of thing you expect me to say, isn’t it? I don’t want to disappoint you.’ He bent towards her again and added, ‘You’re ruining my Casanova reputation with that face, you know. You’re supposed to be all dimpled sweetness.’

  Suddenly she wanted to laugh. Biting her lip hard to prevent the glimmer of a smile escaping, she told herself she couldn’t give him the slightest encouragement. ‘Would you tell Bruce I’m over here?’

  ‘Yes, ma’am.’ He saluted with his free hand. ‘Right away, ma’am.’

  She eyed him severely. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘My pleasure.’

  Immediately he’d begun to weave his way across the room, Gertie and Isobel were either side of her. ‘I didn’t know you knew Nick Johnson,’ Isobel said as the three of them watched the tall figure.

  ‘I don’t, not really. He’s a friend of my cousin and he was with him today in the airmen’s mess. I didn’t even know my cousin was on the camp.’

  Isobel nodded. ‘Well, just watch Nick,’ she said darkly.‘He’s a love-’em-and-leave-’em type and makes no apology for it either. Any girl who gets mixed up with him has to know the score and that’s to expect nothing. Of course, most attachments on the station are only temporary, we all know that, but Nick’s in a league of his own. He’s very handsome though,’ she added almost wistfully.

  ‘What about Philip?’ said Amy, smiling.

  ‘Oh, he’s twice as handsome.’ Isobel giggled. She was due a forty-eight-hour leave the next day and was meeting her fiancé in the
country hotel where they’d been due to spend their five-day honeymoon before returning to their respective stations. She had already confided to Amy and the others they didn’t intend to get out of bed the whole time, having made sure room service was available.

  When Bruce reached Amy’s side he was smiling, his brown eyes telling her he was glad to see her, and Amy, touched by his obvious delight, reached up and kissed him on the cheek.

  ‘Can we sit somewhere quieter for a bit and talk?’ she asked him. ‘You’re not bothered about the quiz, are you?’

  ‘No, I’m not bothered about the quiz,’ he said softly. ‘How about I get you a drink and we’ll find a corner?’ He turned to Gertie and Isobel, adding politely, ‘What can I get you to drink, ladies?’

  ‘Don’t worry about us, we’ll sort ourselves out.’ Isobel was already dragging Gertie off after the others who had noticed some spare seats near the stage, next to a particularly rowdy RAF table.

  Amy and Bruce ended up standing in the small entrance area from which the lavatories branched off on either side. At least they could hear themselves speak there.

  Bruce stared at his cousin. Amy was thinner and more composed than he remembered. He had noticed it earlier in the mess. But then she had been through a packet whatever way you looked at it, he thought pityingly. He wondered what she had been doing the last few years since she had disappeared. He didn’t blame her for that; everyone coped with grief in different ways and losing the baby must have devastated her. It had surprised him that she had left Charles, though, but Kitty had hinted all was not well even before the miscarriage but wouldn’t say any more than that.

  ‘Bruce . . .’ Amy hesitated for a moment and then went on, ‘Have you told anyone about . . . about Charles? That I’m married?’

  ‘No.’ They were looking into each other’s eyes now, a straight look.‘When you said your name was Shawe I assumed you wanted it that way.’

  ‘I do, yes.’ Her voice had been eager and now she coloured a little. ‘I’m not married except on paper.’ And then she flapped her hand, adding, ‘That sounds silly but you know what I mean.’

  ‘Everyone was concerned about you when you disappeared. ’ His voice carried no reproach when he said, ‘I think Kitty expected you to let her know where you were. She and my father went to see Charles, you know, just to make sure what he’d said was the truth. They spoke to the housekeeper and she confirmed you’d left of your own free will, that after what had happened you wanted to get away.’

  The violet-blue gaze did not falter when she said very quietly, ‘Did Charles tell Kitty he was responsible for my losing the baby? That he was drunk and trying to manhandle me, and that it wasn’t the first time? Far from it.’

  Bruce’s face betrayed his shock, and when she reached out and touched his sleeve, saying, ‘I’m sorry, I should have put it better than that,’ he still couldn’t speak for a moment or two.

  ‘He said you fell.’

  ‘I did fall, because of him. I was at the top of the stairs . . .’ She swallowed, clearly forcing herself to say, ‘Of course he wouldn’t have wanted me to lose the baby.When he drank he turned into someone else, someone frightening.’

  ‘Hell, Amy.’There was silence between them for a moment and then he said, ‘Why didn’t you tell someone, for crying out loud? I know I’d moved away and so had Da, but you must have realised we’d have come and put the fear of God in him if you had let on?’

  She bowed her head. ‘At first it would have seemed like a betrayal somehow,’ she said very quietly. ‘Later, when I was pregnant, I thought he would change. But I did tell Kitty at Grandma’s funeral that he was drinking too much. She . . . she didn’t say anything to anyone then?’

  ‘She just hinted all wasn’t well between you but nothing specific.’

  Amy nodded. ‘Anyway, it’s all water under the bridge now,’ she said dismissively, finding she didn’t want to talk about Charles any more. ‘How are Kitty and Uncle Ronald? How are you? You’re not married or anything, are you?’

  Bruce grinned. Same old Amy. Changing the subject if she thought he was going to moan at her. But she should have called on him or his da. ‘Kitty and Da are as happy as bugs in a rug,’ he said, indulging her. ‘Mam and the girls are still at Granda’s. Kitty’s mam and da died within a month of each other last year. I’m not married and there’s no one special at the moment although the girls are queueing up, of course.’ He raised mocking eyebrows and Amy smiled. ‘And, oh aye, Perce is out.’

  ‘He’s out of prison? Is he in the Army or something?’

  Bruce shook his head, finishing his beer in one swallow before he said, ‘According to Da, he’s up to his old tricks and knee deep in the black market, swaggering about and boasting he’s swung the lead and avoided being called up by bribing some doctor who’s on the fiddle. He started writing to Da when he was inside, and after he got out he went down to Manchester a few times to see them. They don’t like it, in fact Kitty can’t stand him. But he’s still Da’s son.’

  ‘I thought Perce was all for your mam and Mr O’Leary?’

  ‘He makes sure he keeps in with them an’ all. Runs with the hare and hunts with the hound, does Perce.’ Bruce didn’t voice what he really thought at this point, namely that Perce’s reconciliation with Ronald and Kitty was because of the beautiful woman in front of him. His da had told him on the quiet that every time Perce made an appearance he asked after Amy, and although they’d told him they had no idea of her whereabouts, he didn’t give up. Bruce didn’t like that. It worried him.

  ‘I’m sorry about Mr and Mrs Price.’

  Bruce became aware that Amy was waiting for him to speak and cleared his mind. ‘Aye, it hit Kitty hard. It was some trouble with her stomach with Mrs Price, but according to the neighbours Kitty’s da just gave up the will to go on once Mrs Price had gone. You wouldn’t have thought it, would you, not with how Abe appeared on the outside.’

  ‘I’ve long since lost faith with how folk appear on the outside.’ And then, as though the words had brought them full circle, she flushed and said, ‘Bruce, you won’t say anything to anyone about what we discussed earlier?’

  ‘About you being married?’

  She nodded. ‘I’m going to sort it out but not just yet.’

  He stared at her but said nothing, wondering if she still had some feeling for Charles.

  ‘I’m going to write to Kitty in the next day or two,’ Amy told him, ‘but after what you’ve said I’ll ask her not to tell anyone, especially Perce. I’ll tell them we’ve met up, that’ll please them. Kitty always said you were the best of the bunch.’

  Bruce smiled. ‘Sensible woman.’

  It was true, Amy thought, he was the best of the bunch. If only she had married someone like him, her life would have been so different, but of course he had never thought of her in that way. Suddenly she felt curious.‘I suppose you’ve had lots of girlfriends?’ she said, realising afresh how good-looking he was.

  ‘A few. A couple could have been serious but things never quite worked out. Perhaps I’m too picky.’ He grinned again and she smiled back. Silly girls to let him get away, she thought, looking at him with new eyes.

  The door to the main room opened and brought with it a gust of noise. Above the laughter and voices within, Nick called from the doorway, ‘The women are whipping us in there, Bruce. Come on, we need reinforcements.’ But his eyes were on Amy.

  ‘In a minute. Get me another beer in if you want to be useful.’ Bruce turned back to Amy as he spoke but she continued to look at Nick as the door closed. In response to her expression, he said, ‘He doesn’t mean anything, it’s just his way.’

  ‘He thinks he’s God’s gift to womankind.’ Her voice was low but caustic.

  Bruce stared at her for a moment. ‘Like I said, it’s just his way, he doesn’t mean anything,’ he said uncomfortably. ‘Sometimes I think it’s a defence for the way they throw themselves at him, and they do, you know. Shameless, some of
them are. We rib him about it but secretly most of the blokes would give their right arm to be in his boots.’

  Amy’s voice was sharp when she said, ‘Huh! Well, here’s one who wouldn’t lower herself, and I dare say there are others, whatever he likes to think.’

  ‘He’s my friend, Amy.’ His tone was reproachful. ‘And he has been through the mill. It changes a bloke. Most of the pals he joined up with have long since copped it and he knows his luck can’t last for ever. His two brothers were killed in the Battle of Britain and they were younger than him. How do you think that makes him feel?’

  The door opened again and saved her having to reply. As two young WAAFs eyed Bruce on their way to the ladies’ lavatory, Amy said, ‘You go back in. I’ve got a headache and I could do with an early night.’ Suddenly she felt all at odds with herself. But not with Bruce, never with Bruce. She held out her hand. ‘Friends for fairs?’

  He smiled, squeezing her fingers. ‘Friends for fairs. Do you want me to walk you back to your hut?’