Girl in the Shadows

by Gwenda Bond

  Raleigh nodded.

  Nan wasn’t going to like this. Not any more than I did, if for entirely different reasons. Guilt spiked in me. Raleigh was a friend.

  But even after that stunt my mother pulled, this was her life on the line. And I’d be lying if I said knowing Dad was part of it didn’t make it worse, another giant reminder of the secrets he’d kept from me.

  Dez and Brandon still shared a phone, and I had no idea which one of them would get the text I sent. So I worded it carefully: Have to go to a meeting with Raleigh. In touch later. Brandon, tell Dez if this is you.

  Before I could call up a new text for Thurston’s assistant, a reply buzzed: Sweet. Will tell him.

  Brandon.

  I sent the production assistant a message for Thurston, asking that he meet us and adding that she should treat it as confidential.

  Nan and I neared Thurston’s trailer. The door stood open, so it looked like he’d be waiting. Hopefully, with Raleigh.

  “Sorry I volunteered you to be here,” I said, praying that she took my motivations at face value. That Raleigh did too.

  “It’s my own fault. You just did what I told you.” She threw her shoulders back a fraction. She had a wide-legged pantsuit with a flowing top that played up her regal elder angle. “I can help with Thurston. Just follow my lead.”

  Nan didn’t bother pausing to knock or call out; she just glided up the steps into the RV, and I followed. Raleigh sat on the couch in the living room area. He’d ditched his coat and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt. The bow tie was gone.

  He nodded to me. Brief. Nervous.

  “Evening, ladies,” Thurston said. “I just got here. This magician with a hangdog expression was waiting for me. So I’m curious about the purpose of our meeting . . . But first, can I get you anything?” The question was for Nan.

  “Nothing but a chair,” she said.

  Thurston hopped to the kitchen and brought one back, setting it across from Raleigh. I took the seat beside him.

  “Why are we here?” Thurston asked, bringing over a second chair for himself. “This inquiring mind wants to know.”

  Nan nodded to me.

  “You’re not going to like this,” I said.

  “Then it sounds like I definitely need to hear it,” Thurston said.

  “Okay, well . . . Raleigh was the one who left that note in Dita’s backstage dressing table,” I said. “He’s looking for the coin.”

  Thurston wore a look of shock, but it didn’t last long. His eyes narrowed on Raleigh. “Explain.”

  “I will,” Raleigh said. “When you brought me here this summer and told me the story, I agreed to take your extra assignment to find it. I may have also talked to the person I’ve done this kind of ‘finders, keepers’ for in the past . . .”

  “Keep going,” Thurston said.

  “I don’t like failure,” Raleigh said. “You asked me to find out if this coin was real, if it had powers. But without directly asking anyone. So that’s what I’ve been—”

  “Thurston,” Nan said. “You are behind this?”

  Thurston stood. “I asked Raleigh to quietly pay attention to rumors and try to find it. I did not tell him to scare anyone or to cross any lines.” He zeroed in on Raleigh. “In fact, I told you the opposite. Did you forget?”

  “There were more rumors,” Raleigh said. “And I thought someone else might be getting close to finding it. I did what I thought you’d want.”

  “But you didn’t ask me,” Thurston said, “or I’d have told you not to.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “And on that day. Poor Dita.” He stopped. “Did you leave the note in here too?”

  “No, that wasn’t me,” Raleigh said. “It just gave me the idea. The break-ins that night weren’t me either. I’m telling you, there are other people looking for the coin.”

  “Who?” Nan asked.

  “I don’t know. They’re better at hiding their identities than I am, clearly.” Raleigh looked disgusted with himself and then glanced at me.

  I got the message loud and clear. He could have told them I was my father’s daughter right away. He hadn’t, though. And unlike Raleigh, I knew who the others after the coin were. Or I thought I did. Maybe I’d bought them more time.

  It didn’t make me feel better about selling out a friend.

  “I suppose I should thank you,” Thurston said.

  “For?” Raleigh asked. “I haven’t found anything.”

  “For making this straightforward,” Thurston said. “I’ll give you severance pay to cover the entire summer, and the assignment. But you’re fired.”

  “What?” Raleigh and I said at the same time. “That’s not fair,” Raleigh went on. “I was doing what you asked.”

  “No, you weren’t. I can’t keep you on after finding out about it, even if I wanted to. It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. My stars—my friends—expect me to protect them. I’d fire myself for contributing to this, if I could.”

  “But now that we’re clear, it’s good,” Raleigh tried.

  The former CEO in Thurston was in full effect. He might as well have been wearing a business suit instead of a ringmaster’s tuxedo. “No. And it’s effective immediately.”

  Raleigh wasn’t willing to give up. “But you can’t do this. There’s another show tonight.”

  Thurston looked at me for a long moment.

  I hadn’t meant to get Raleigh fired. “I don’t think Raleigh meant to scare Dita,” I said. “Maybe you should think this through some more.”

  Raleigh cut in. “Don’t be ridiculous. She’s not ready.”

  Thurston ignored him. “You’re promoted to head magician, Moira. Also effective immediately.”

  Raleigh’s jaw worked. Mine dropped open. It was the showcase I’d wanted, but not like this. My mother definitely wouldn’t like me being even more in the spotlight or the things I’d have to do to stay there.

  “Huh, Pixie, guess everything worked out just right,” Raleigh said. “Congratulations.”

  “I never wanted this.”

  “Uh-huh,” he said, standing. “I’ll just be going, then.”

  I wanted to follow him. Apologize for . . . something, for him leaving and for me taking his place. To appeal to his better nature about not outing me to Dad in retaliation. I also wanted to know why he’d taken the bow tie and then worn it.

  But Nan gave me a slight shake of her head, and I stayed put.

  “Thank you for bringing this to me,” Thurston said. “Why did you come as well?” he asked Nan. Then he pulled out his phone. “Just a second—I better alert Jane.”

  He called his assistant and explained that Raleigh would be leaving, and to pay him for the remainder of the season. He added that Moira Miracle had been promoted, and asked for a poster to be produced to put up outside the tent.

  “You won’t spread the word about this, will you?” I said, unable to stay quiet. “Ruin his career? I’ve known Raleigh for years. He’s a good guy.”

  “I won’t. I played too much of a part in it.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Is this day over yet?”

  “Thurston,” Nan said. Her voice was firm. “You shouldn’t be getting mixed up with this idea of magic. I was under the impression that you thought it was all fantasy, wild tales.”

  Thurston’s eyes flicked between me and her. “You’re comfortable talking about this in front of Moira?”

  “I am,” Nan said.

  I hoped that didn’t pique his interest in me. I had no idea how she was planning to play this.

  “I didn’t buy any of it. I thought Roman Garcia was a bitter old man, who wrote me letters about things he believed. But I didn’t put any stock in them.” Thurston angled his body toward Nan. “But then, over the summer, I thought back over last season and some conversations I had with Jules and Remy. And I started watching videos of her performances. Jules had it, didn’t she? That coin? That’s part of what I interrupted after that last show of the season, some
thing to do with it. It is magic, isn’t it? That’s why you asked the two of them what they’d done, after the break-ins.”

  Nan was very still. I waited to see how she’d respond.

  “I thought you didn’t believe the stories about me.” She gathered her hands in her lap and looked straight at him.

  “I don’t . . . other than that you were poorly treated.”

  “The coin is part of those stories. I’d rather you not believe in it either.”

  The two of them stared at each other.

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you, truly,” Thurston said. “But I think I do believe.”

  “So this is all about your boundless curiosity.” Nan’s eyes flicked to me and back onto Thurston. “Okay, then, while I hate to say this in front of an employee . . . who obviously I would not speak in front of if there was anything to this . . .”

  She paused, but neither Thurston nor I could have mistaken the pause as a place for us to jump in. I could see how radiant she must have been as a performer as she called up her full authority. How arresting it was when she spoke again, like this was a performance.

  “You are a fool.”

  I couldn’t speak for Thurston, but I hadn’t expected that. He shifted in his chair.

  She continued, majestic in making her case. “Magic is for the superstitious. For people who believe in ghosts and fate and things that go bump in the night. For people who want a reason to fear others. So I could read the cards? So my mother could? Somehow we became people to fear. It does disappoint me you would be one of those people, but it disappoints me more that you would put your people at risk. People like Dita Garcia. Like my family. What happened last season was all about people searching for that coin. Your joining the hunt will only make more people want it. So you are not just a fool, you are a dangerous fool. Will you stop?”

  What a performance it was. I wanted to applaud. I could only hope it was a successful one.

  Thurston took a moment, perhaps to see if she had more to say. She waited for his answer.

  He didn’t give one, at least not exactly. “You aren’t worried about these other people Raleigh mentioned finding it?”

  “No,” she said, though that had to be a lie. “I am not. The only reason I worry about it at all is the stories people tell about it. Stories have power. Superstition can kill.”

  The last word hung in the air.

  “What do you think?” Thurston looked at me. “Do you believe in magic?”

  I hadn’t been prepared for the question, not from him. So I said something close to the truth, close to the things I’d said to Nan when she told me it was real.

  “I believe magic is a trick, a pretty lie.”

  “She’s a wise girl,” Nan said. “Sometimes. Is this matter closed? Have I answered your curiosity? Will you stop?”

  “Your wish is my command.” He smiled at her. “I know I said I believed, but it was more of a wondering. You won’t hold it against me? You’ll still come for a drink now and then and tell me stories about the good old days?”

  “And the bad ones.” Nan smiled faintly, but the smile didn’t touch her eyes. “I wouldn’t mind a sip of something right now.”

  “My pleasure.” Thurston got up. He motioned toward the door and said to me, “You’d better get going, hadn’t you? You have a new show to start preparing.”

  “Keep all this quiet, dear,” Nan said.

  “As a mouse,” I said, and then hesitated. “I can tell Dita, though, about Raleigh?”

  Nan gave me a discreet nod, and I got out of there.

  I stood outside in the night air, processing. I was now the Cirque’s head magician. So why did I feel doomed?

  twenty-seven

  When I stepped into our room, Dita was propped on her side with earbuds in, watching something on her tablet. She already sported a pair of plaid pajamas.

  I’d needed a walk to decompress and think through the conversation in Thurston’s trailer. I wasn’t ready to talk to Dez about what happened yet, for reasons I wasn’t clear on. I should have been. But . . . I wasn’t.

  During my wandering, I’d passed a Mexican bakery that was still open up the street, and gone in to select a giant white paper bag full of many delicious things. I approached Dita and shook the bag to get her attention, opening the top and holding it in front of her.

  She popped out an earbud.

  “I come bearing sweets,” I said. “Take one. You’re going to need it.”

  Dita’s fingers darted out to pause her show, then she removed her other earbud. She took a small wedding cookie and crunched it. “Why do I need it?”

  “I have weird news.”

  She waved for me to hold the bag open again, and I set it down beside her. “I’ll take a reserve cookie, then,” she said.

  I settled on my bed. “You know when you made me promise to tell you if there was any strange or secret stuff going on?”

  She swallowed, and went still. “Yes.”

  I sighed. “Raleigh was the person who went through your drawer. He left the note.”

  “Raleigh?” she asked.

  “Yep, he was looking for the coin”—I hadn’t actually clarified that I was allowed to tell her about Thurston—“this whole time. And now he’s been fired. I’m taking his place.”

  “Raleigh was looking for the coin.” She shook her head in wonder.

  “He was sorry that he scared you,” I said. I assumed he was. He wouldn’t have done that on purpose.

  “I hate that coin,” she said, repeating her words from that night. She added, “I wish we could toss it in some ocean, destroy it forever.”

  “I can understand why.” But don’t do that, I wished. Please don’t do that. I wanted to ask if she had any idea where Remy and Jules might be stashing it. That would be too obvious, though.

  “How would we even know it worked anyway?” Dita said. “It’d probably wash back up.” She straightened her blanket over her legs. “Thank you for telling me. For not keeping me in the dark.”

  Lucky for me, she didn’t ask whether anything else strange was going on. But I felt entirely awful that I was still on the lookout for her hated coin—with no intention to destroy it.

  The next afternoon, I managed to snag a moment alone in the Airstream before the others returned from lunch. I’d spent the morning rush-ordering supplies for a new illusion. Now I stared at Dad’s name in the contacts list on my phone.

  Some part of me hoped he’d heard through the magic grapevine there was an amazing new magician at the Cirque American, and discovered it was me. That he’d immediately recant, convinced by the buzz and then by seeing me perform. And then he’d explain why he’d kept my ability to do real magic a secret all these years, along with the warehouse I’d never been told about.

  I pressed his name to call him. It was a couple of hours before he’d leave to get ready for his evening performance, a good time for him. He should be at home. He’d be eating some kind of lean protein and boringly healthy steamed vegetables.

  “Moira?” He was out of breath when he answered. “Sorry, I forgot my phone in the study.”

  His study. I pictured it—he’d be standing by his big desk. Rare playbills featuring the most famous magicians of history filled the walls, trapped in heavy frames from which they’d never escape. The Great Houdini draped in chains, Howard Thurston surrounded by the supposed spirits of the dead, Harry Kellar with his similar army of red demons, Carter the Great pretending to be a friend of the devil . . . and Dad, from his first year as a headliner, flanked by spotlights and excerpts from rave reviews.

  All of them were men.

  “A little cardio never killed anyone,” I said.

  He laughed.

  We transitioned to awkward silence.

  I could hear him sit down in the throne-like leather chair. One of the wheels always squeaked when it moved.

  “You mentioned you had to take somebody on a tour of the collection,” I said, easing down
on my mattress. “How’d that go?”

  “Did I? When was that?”

  “A voice mail. Where’d you take them?” My free hand had balled into a nervous fist without my meaning it to. I relaxed my fingers.

  “The usual highlights—Houdini’s straitjacket and milk can, Carter’s cards.”

  “No, I mean which warehouse?”

  Crickets.

  “Raleigh mentioned you had more than one.”

  “Moira, what is going on? First you ask me about your mother, now this.”

  I don’t know, Dad, I thought. Did you lie to me for seventeen years?

  But even with catching Raleigh and with my mother’s casual confirmation that Dad had known, I had doubt. This was my dad. We’d always been close. He couldn’t have meant for me to find out these things this way. I wasn’t ready yet to blow up our relationship. Not over the phone.

  “Nothing—I just thought maybe you got some cool new stuff,” I said. “Don’t be so worried. You know you’re my favorite dad.”

  “And you’re my favorite daughter. So . . . when can I come see you?”

  Crap.

  “Now’s not really great. It’s busy.”

  “I’ll just fly up for a day—you could take one day off. Or even a couple of hours for lunch. I can catch a red-eye. I could be there tomorrow.”

  I forgot how hard it was to dissuade him once he was set on something. A big part of being a magician was figuring out ways to do the impossible, to solve problems. I hadn’t figured out how to solve my problem with Dad yet. Raleigh was undoubtedly headed back to Vegas and might well tattle on me when he got there.

  Then again, if Raleigh told him, he’d be doing me a favor. Giving Dad time to get used to the idea before we had it out.

  “Um, not this week—maybe in a couple of weeks?” I searched for a story. “We have a break, and I was going to go home with one of my friends here. She lives out west, so it’ll be closer for you.”

  He grumbled but finally said, “I can wait a little longer. Send me the details as soon as you have them. How is it going there?”

  “I like the work, and the people. I think it’s what I’m meant to be doing. But I’m still learning—every day. It’s not easy, obviously.”