by L A Cotton
The door clicked shut behind us, breaking some of the tension. Unwilling to give Staci a chance to reconsider, I closed the space between us. “It’s just you and me, friend. And as your friend, it’s my duty to make you smile.”
Chapter 9
~ Kade ~
“Thank you.” Staci nudged my arm with her nose as I drew lazy circles on her bare shoulder.
“So…did I make you forget?”
I was pretty sure I’d wiped clean any memories of Turner from Staci’s mind, but the caveman in me needed some kind of confirmation. Yeah, I was officially a dick.
She rolled on her side to come face to face with me. “You did an excellent job, Ford. Gold star for you.”
Staci’s snarky reply elicited a rumble of laughter from me. “Okay, so I probably went a little far, but on a serious note, you’re okay?”
She nodded. “I’m good. In fact, I’m more than good. I’m peachy with a side of keen.” Flashing me her best over-the-top smile, Staci added, “I’m so good, friend, I don’t think I can remember my own name.”
“Okay, okay, I get it. No more dickish statements. Scouts honor. It was a dumb thing to say. But, you should know, this is a first for me.”
Her eyes creased with confusion. “Like your first lay of the week?”
“Haha, very fucking funny, Jameson. No, not my first lay of the week.” I tapped her nose with my finger. “You, oh short one, might just be the first girl I ever surfed with.”
Rolling away from me, Staci flopped against the pillows and blew out an exasperated sigh while she pretended to pick her nails.
“What? That not good enough for you?”
“I thought I at least might be the first girl to let you do that thing you love where I bend double and-”
“Darcy Bulls.” I cut her off, smirking. “Summer after graduation. Sorry.”
“Dick.”
“You asked. Okay, I have another one but no laughing.”
Staci shifted again, sitting up next to me crossing her slim legs in front of her. “Ooh, this is going to be good. I can tell by the serious look on your face. Hit me with it, friend.”
“So, without bringing down the mood, you said last night that he who shall remain nameless was your first boyfriend, right? Well, I never had that.”
I reached out and tipped her jaw shut. She was gaping as if I’d just talked in a foreign language. “Don’t look so surprised. We both know I’m no saint.” I flashed her a grin. “But I never really dated, and I certainly never did this.” My hand swept between us.
“This?”
“Random road trips, surfing, the whole sleeping with a member of the opposite sex without any actual sex thing. It’s all new to me. Which makes you, friend, my first.”
It had sounded funny in my head. A bit of a joke. But the second the words left my mouth, I realized how suggestive they sounded. Staci’s face gave nothing away which only made my heart slam against my chest harder. Why was opening up to her so difficult? Oh, right, because after watching my father beat my mother to a pulp for years and her always going back for more, I was an emotionally stunted individual. Sex equaled no feelings. That was always my rule.
Until her. Staci Jameson; tiny blond firecracker.
After a few seconds, I broke the silence, unable to deal with the growing unease in my chest. Maybe she doesn’t feel it, too.
“Disappointed?”
“I... I- wow, I had no idea you felt this way.”
Felt this way?
Now I was the one staring at her as if she was from another planet, without a single thing to say.
“Kade Ford is in love with little old me.” Staci stroked a hand across my jaw, and my mouth fell open a little more.
What the fuck…love?
“I mean, it’s hard not to fall for me. Don’t worry. You’re not the first; you certainly won’t be the last. Just a good thing I’m not looking for anything serious and you’re just another guy under my spell. It’ll pass. You’ll see.” Tapping my cheek twice, Staci smiled and left the bed. She sauntered out of the room, taking my ability to form words with her.
Love?
~ Staci ~
I stared at the girl in the mirror wanting to slap the look of panic right off her face. What the fuck was I thinking? Kade had done that thing again—getting all serious and talking like he was trying to tell me something. Something I wasn’t ready to hear. So I tried to divert the conversation and make light of things. And what came out of my mouth—suggesting that he was falling in love with me. Bravo, Jameson, brav-fucking-oh. Jokes aside, the look on his face was priceless, but how did I undo this? I’d planted the seed now. I’d lodged the thought in his mind, and I could imagine his inner turmoil. He was probably lying out there right now questioning whether what he felt could actually be love, especially if what he said earlier was true—that he had never dated. That I was his first. Or he was going to kick me out and avoid me for all eternity.
Christ, we were a match made in heaven. If the timing wasn’t so shitty and Mikey hadn’t crashed back into my life, perhaps we could give things a shot. Kade could piece me back together crack by crack, and I could be his first in all the ways that count. We could create our own rules and fix each other in the process. But now? Now Mikey was somewhere in Gainesville wanting to talk; haunting me with memories. Not to mention, I’d just probably given Kade heart failure.
After spending too long in the bathroom, I finally returned to Kade’s room. He was still in bed, his eyes closed, and breathing deeply. My eyes raked over his naked torso, the rise and fall of his chest revealing his sculpted definition, and the comforter draped teasingly over his pelvis. The dark trail of hair from his stomach disappearing underneath. I licked my lips. What the hell was wrong with me? A second ago, I’d holed myself up in the bathroom to have a meltdown, and now I was ready to pounce on him.
“Are you going to stand there and stare all morning? Or are you going to join me?”
“Wha- how did you know I was here?”
“You're not exactly stealthy.”
I crept over to the bed and climbed under the comforter into his extended arm. “Liar.” I nudged his side with my elbow.
“Fine. I peeked. Now, where were we?”
Not talking about falling in love.
“I think we should add another first to your list." The words tumbled out of my mouth. I was on fire this morning.
“Oh, yeah?” Kade’s eyes opened, searching mine.
“Ever skipped out on work to stay in bed all day?”
His eyebrows shot up, and he smiled. “Sure, once or twice.”
“Ever skipped out on work and stayed in bed all day with a naked girl in your bed?"
Seriously, where was I going with this?
“Hmm, let me think. There was that one time- umm, no. Definitely not.” Blue eyes sparkled back at me.
“I’m supposed to meet with my professor, but I could blow him off to stay here and well, blow you?” Laughter bubbled up and I buried my head the crook of Kade’s arms.
Kade's chest rumbled, and he started laughing. Just like that, the awkwardness from ten minutes ago vanished. This was how we worked best. Skirting over the serious stuff and joking around. Hiding our true feelings behind sex. Sex was our form of communication. Besides, it was better this way. Easier. Less messy. Safer.
“That sounds like the best plan you’ve had in a while, friend.”
~ Kade ~
“Christ woman, you’ll be the death of me.” I lifted Staci off me and tugged her down beside me, our slick bodies colliding. When she’d suggested skipping work and classes to stay in bed all day, I knew she was trying to cover her earlier slip. But five hours and three orgasms later, it didn’t matter. I’d shout it from the rooftops if it meant more days like this.
“Glad I talked you into skipping work?”
Brushing my lips against her neck, I replied, “I don’t think it really took much persuading. Do you?”
Staci wiggled her butt against my dick, and it twitched, causing her to laugh. “Surely not again. Not yet. I need food. And water. I need to pee.”
“Don’t blame me. It has a mind of its own.”
“Tell it to someone who cares, mister.”
Things were back to normal between us. Sex was our art of conversation. But I hadn't been able to stop thinking about what Staci had said. Was I really falling in love with her?
Did it matter if I was?
Of course, it matters. She's leaving. First chance she gets, she's out of here.
"Where'd you go just then?" Staci twisted in my arms so close that our noses were almost touching.
"Huh?"
"Just then. We were talking and then you went quiet on me."
"I was just thinking."
"Whoa, steady on there." Staci smiled.
My hand skated down her naked waist and squeezed her ass.
"Ouch."
"That was for being mean, friend."
"So what goes through Kade Ford's head?"
"Oh, you know. What's to eat, cars, hot pieces of ass..." I smirked, brushing my lips over Staci's. "You."
"Me?" Her voice shivered against my mouth.
"I know we said friends with benefits, but that isn't really working out for me anymore."
What the?
"Kade-" Staci started to wriggle free from me, but I clamped my arms tight holding her to me. "Wait. Just hear me out."
Nudging my nose against hers, I forced her to look at me. Fear was all over her face. Staci was scared. Well, that made two of us. I didn't do this. I didn’t make grand declarations of how I felt. But I wanted more.
There, I'd admitted it.
I wanted more with her.
"One date. Give me one date. I'm not asking for anything else; I just want a chance to take you out. For real."
I was asking for so much more...but I didn't say the words. She would run for the hills quicker than I could catch her.
Staci's eyes fluttered shut and her hands wound into her stomach. "I don't know. Dates lead to expectation. I can't promise you anything, Kade. I'm going back to Ecuador in a few weeks."
Her words were like a punch to the gut. I was in over my head. I had let myself break my number one rule. Only I hadn't been in control in the first place. Staci was calling all of the shots, whether she knew it or not. I was just along for the ride. And I'd been trying to tell myself that I was okay with that. Friends with benefits. It was, after all, my idea. But who was I kidding? I was so far gone over this girl.
Fuck.
I didn't know whether it was sheer desperation or me throwing all my chips in, but I found myself saying, "Don’t make me beg because you know I will. Just. One. Date."
Staci pressed her face into my chest. She was hiding. Again. A sinking feeling settled over me, and I guessed it was what rejection felt like. But then I felt lips move against my skin.
"Okay. One date."
It was a whisper, but I heard it.
~ Staci ~
It wasn't a good idea. Every fiber of my being screamed it, but Kade looked at me like I was something special. And until recently—until Kade—I hadn't realized how much I needed that.
I’d built my life by keeping people at arm's length. Never getting too close. Protecting my heart. But I had kept people out for so long that I forgot what it was like to feel wanted. To have someone to lean on and share the burden.
Kade made me remember.
He was fixing some of the broken in me. His smile warmed the ice frozen around my heart. His persistence chipped away at the wall I'd worked so hard to build around myself.
"I'll date your socks off." Kade grinned at me like he'd just won the Powerball.
I knew he was making light of the situation for me. He already knew me too well.
"Just let me know when and where and I'll be there." I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes. The voice in my head wouldn't stop screaming how bad of an idea this was.
"Oh, I will, friend. I will." Kade pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead and left me wrapped in the comforter. "I have to go see my mom later, but I'll see you soon."
It wasn’t a question, so I didn't answer. Kade Ford was changing in front of my eyes, and if I didn’t know better…he was changing for me.
Maybe I could, too.
Maybe.
~
“Holy hell, you look hot. Wow, he’s going to die.” Lou’s eyes looked ready to bug out of her head.
I chuckled. “Well, I agreed to this thing, so figured I might as well go all out.”
“Oh, you went all out all right. Kade won’t know where to look first.”
“Kade won’t know where to wha-” Russ joined us in the living room, jaw hanging open as if he’d never seen a girl in a dress before. “Holy shit, Staci. I mean, hmm, nice; you look nice.”
“Babe, don’t worry, I know how hot she looks.” Lou wrapped her arm around him and shook her head muttering to herself. “Guys.”
“So, it isn’t too much?” I looked down at the electric blue mini dress covering my body. I had no idea where Kade was taking me, but he told me to dress up so I had.
“Too much? It’s perfect. Now, try smiling. It’s a date, not your funeral. It’s supposed to be fun.”
That was the problem. We were supposed to be having fun. A date made things seem more. And I still wasn’t sure I was ready for more. Not while Mikey messed with my head. I hadn’t seen or heard from him again, but it was too late. My mind had already filled with memories I’d rather forget. But I’d promised Kade. So here I was, waiting for him to pick me up for our date. Christ, I hadn’t been on a proper date in so long. My whole body hummed with nervous energy. It wasn’t like me. I didn’t get nervous about guys. He’s not just any guy, a little voice whispered.
Yeah, this really wasn’t a good idea.
The apartment buzzer sounded and Lou shrieked with excitement. “He’s here. Are you ready?”
“Babe, calm down. They’re both adults. I think Staci’s got this.”
“What? I’m just excited. It’s exciting. Stop ruining my fun.” Lou nudged Russ’s stomach and scowled.
“Okay, Mom and Dad,” I mocked. “Don’t wait up.”
The sound of their laughter followed me out of the apartment. Thankfully, Kade didn’t come up. It gave me a few extra seconds to calm my nerves.
He was standing outside; his hands shoved in his dark jeans pockets. The black dress shirt fit him snugly and my eyes swept over his broad shoulders and tapered waist. He looked good. Too good. Blue eyes found me and widened, raking down my body, dark with desire. Shit. I was in trouble. Kade looked at me as if I was dinner and dessert all rolled into one, causing my insides to coil.
“I’m not sure I have words that sum up how good you look.”
Oh. My.
I smiled and let him envelop me into his arms. He cupped my face and brushed his lips against mine gently. Breaking away, his forehead pressed against mine. “Is it crazy that I missed you?”
“It’s only been forty-eight hours.” My voice strained, a little choked up from his admission.
“Forty-eight hours too long. Come on, we have a long drive.”
Kade was the perfect gentleman, opening the truck door for me and helping me climb up. He even handed me a single red rose. A gesture that made my breath catch in my throat. A guy had never bought me flowers before, because I never let things get to the flowers and candy stage.
“So, where are you taking me, friend?” I asked once he was inside.
“Can we drop the friend thing? Just for tonight. And it’s a surprise. It’ll take us an hour or so to get there, but it’ll be worth it. You’ll see.”
An hour?
As if he could read my mind, Kade said, “Don’t look so worried. I have the perfect driving music.” He turned the radio dial and the raspy sound of Sam Hunt’s voice filled the cab.
“Sam Hunt, seriously?”
Kade fired
up the engine and pulled off. “What? I like me a bit of country. If you’re gonna be a homebody, we’re gonna have a house party,” he bellowed in time with the music, tapping his hand on the steering wheel.
The sight of him so relaxed calmed some of the nerves unsteadying me, and I sat back in the seat and swayed along with the beat.
“Not a fan?”
“He’s okay. I’m a little out of touch when it comes to the hottest song or latest blockbuster. Being out of the country for months kind of skews time.”
“Yeah, I guess it would. Four years is a long time.”
“It is.” I leaned my head against the glass and my thoughts turned to the project. I’d been away—in Gainesville—for almost six weeks. It was the longest I’d been away from my work. Drew had been keeping me up-to-date via email, but it wasn’t the same. I was starting to feel restless, the way I did whenever I was on home soil for too long.
“When are you going back?”
“Flight’s booked for December tenth.”
“You’ll be away for the holidays?”
“And New Year’s.”
Kade didn’t reply, but I caught the tic of his jaw out the corner of my eye. Not wanting things to become awkward, I changed the subject. “So we’ll be eating, right? I didn’t eat yet.”
“How very presumptuous of you, Jameson.”
“What? It’s a date. Dates always include food, don’t they?”
“Hey, this is a first for me. Expect the unexpected.”
“Well, we’ll have to stop at Taco Bell or something. I could eat a horse.”
Kade rumbled with laughter. When he had managed to calm down, he looked over at me and said, “Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.”
I stuck my tongue out at him and settled back in the seat to watch the sights pass us by.
Almost an hour later, I hadn’t learned much more about Kade. He wouldn’t talk about his childhood, so I left it alone. I knew what it was like to want to keep some things a secret, but the longer we talked, the more I found myself wanting to know. The conversation was easy between us. He asked some more about the project, about my brothers, and I quizzed him on Ethan and Ashton. I envied the relationships he had with those around him. His mom, the guys, even the girls. They were a close bunch. Livy and Lou would have included me in their group, but I wasn’t, not really. I was an outsider with a temporary welcome. They had all grown up together in one way or another. My first real friend had been Livy, in college.