Lilah's List

by Robyn Amos

  Tyler eyed her suspiciously. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

  Monique crossed the room. “See, now wasn’t that easy?” Then she threw her arms around him and started tugging on his sweater again.

  Tyler grabbed her wrists. “What are you doing?”

  “Don’t I at least get goodbye sex?”

  “No. That’s not a good idea, and you know it.”

  “Nonsense, mon cher. All my ideas are good.” She leaned forward to kiss him and Tyler had to duck out of her embrace.

  “Monique! I don’t think you’re hearing me. I’ve met someone else.”

  She spun on her heel. “And what does that have to do with me? I’ve had a very hectic day. I want sex!”

  Tyler stopped in his tracks to take in the irony of the moment. He actually had a petulant woman in his apartment, whom he’d just broken up with, begging him for sex like a four-year-old begging for a cookie.

  The tension of the moment needed to be released somehow and Tyler couldn’t hold back any longer. He started laughing.

  Monique’s jaw dropped. As Tyler’s laughter subsided, he could read the mix of anger and embarrassment on her face. He wondered briefly if his life was in danger.

  Then she grabbed her coat and stalked out of the room.

  Tyler collapsed onto the couch, weak from his laughter. He couldn’t help thinking he’d just dodged a bullet.

  He couldn’t explain how good that had felt. Breaking up with Monique was the first in a long list of changes he wanted to make.

  Next on the list…Lilah.

  He had to stop playing the sidekick and flat-out tell her what he wanted. He’d bought himself a little bit of time with her, and he couldn’t afford to waste it.

  It was time to take her out on a real date.

  Thursday morning, Lilah sat in Rick’s Café, the guest lounge in her hotel, knitting. She’d chosen a muted blue yarn for her third attempt. Her initial tries at first a sweater and then a blanket had been overambitious. But this time she was going to knit a scarf, and she was determined to complete it, for better or worse.

  The trouble was, knitting was so relaxing that her mind tended to wander. And sure enough, before she knew it, she’d blown the pattern and was back at square one. She had to stay focused.

  But it wasn’t long before her thoughts floated back to Tyler. After all her mental self-talk about not getting involved with him, she’d gone ahead and planted one right on him.

  What had she been thinking? She hadn’t been. She’d been too busy feeling. Tyler had said he was inspired by her. It had been a long time since a man had made her feel good about herself without wanting something in return. She’d been so touched and flattered that kissing him had seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

  He’d responded right away. Fortunately they’d come to their senses quickly because they were standing on a busy New York sidewalk. They’d said their goodbyes, and Lilah had gone to her room, wishing he had come with her.

  She stared down at the blue yarn in her fingers. Lilah didn’t know why she’d chosen that color for a scarf, it wasn’t her color at all. But it was a shade that would look wonderful against Tyler’s dark skin.

  Maybe she should make it a gift for him. Tyler had gotten them past the door at Duvet and had shown her around the city. She should definitely give him the scarf.

  She was only going to be in New York a short time, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t make the most of it. Lilah hadn’t let herself think about it, but there was at least one more item on her list that she could use Tyler’s help with.

  Lilah felt a hot blush stinging her cheeks. The idea of sleeping with Tyler made her body warm all over. Swallowing hard, Lilah tried to refocus her attention on her knitting. And not a moment too soon because she’d been repeating a crooked stitch and the pattern had become deformed, again.

  Trying to fix her mistake and blank her mind with a zenlike focus, Lilah was startled when her cell phone rang.

  She picked it up without checking the number, assuming the call was from Angie. “Hello?”

  “Lilah, where the hell are you?”

  “Chuck?” Lilah was so stunned to hear her ex-husband’s voice on the line, all she could do was stare at the phone with her mouth hanging open.

  “Where have you been? You don’t answer your phone, your car hasn’t been moved in days, and no one at your office will tell me where you are.”

  “That’s probably because it’s none of your concern, Chuck. We’re divorced, remember?”

  “That has nothing to do with this. I was worried. How was I supposed to know you weren’t hurt or killed?”

  Lilah felt her ire rising. She wasn’t going to give in to his guilt trips anymore. She’d divorced him so that she’d no longer have to placate his neediness.

  “As you can hear, I’m alive and well. Don’t call me anymore.”

  “Are you kidding me? I’m supposed to stop caring about you just because you’re no longer my wife.”

  “You’re definitely supposed to stop calling. You’re supposed to stop driving by my house to see if my car has moved. And you’re supposed to stop harassing my coworkers.”

  “Wow, and here I thought we could try to be friends.”

  Lilah was speechless. “Friends? Chuck, I wish you well. I really do. But I don’t think friendship is a reasonable expectation. Move on with your life. I have.”

  With those parting words, Lilah disconnected the line. Her knitting lay forgotten in her lap as she stared off into space for several minutes.

  Finally she gathered up her things and headed toward the elevator. She no longer felt like knitting. And when she did, it certainly wasn’t going to be a gift for any man.

  Lilah’s cell phone started ringing again as she entered her room. She was tempted not to answer it. It was so typical of Chuck to call right back after she’d hung up on him.

  One thing was for certain, Lilah was through putting up with this kind of behavior. “Chuck, you’ve got to stop calling,” she said without preamble.

  “Uh, Lilah, it’s Tyler. Who’s Chuck?”

  Lilah’s heart started hammering. Tyler.

  “My ex-husband.”

  There was a long silence on the line. Tyler probably hadn’t known she’d been married. Well, so what? She had been and it was over. Talking to her ex-husband brought back all those intense feelings of unhappiness and frustration.

  “Sorry. What can I do for you, Tyler?”

  Chuck just reminded her how futile relationships could be. When she’d finally accepted that her marriage was over, she’d felt more relief than grief. Nothing in life should be that hard.

  “I was just wondering if you had plans for dinner this evening.”

  Lilah straightened. “Oh, wow, is Reggie free tonight, after all?”

  There was a long pause. “No, Reggie’s still on the move. I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me.”

  Lilah swallowed hard, feeling her cheeks heat with embarrassment. “Oh, uh, I was going to say that I hope he’s not free because I already have plans. I mean—it would be nice to have dinner with you, too, but…I mean, not ‘too,’ I would love to have dinner but—”

  Lilah couldn’t seem to make herself stop rambling.

  “That’s okay, Lilah, I get it.”

  “Um, what do you mean? Get what?” Oh no, she’d offended Tyler.

  “That you’re not free. Have a good evening.” He didn’t wait for her to say goodbye before disconnecting the line.

  Chapter 13

  “I cannot believe he had the nerve to call you,” Angie stated as they stood on the top deck of the ferry to the Statue of Liberty.

  “Just the sound of his voice puts me on edge. We’re not even married anymore and he still wants to keep me on a leash. He actually thinks I need his permission to leave town.”

  Angie threw her arms around Lilah, shrieking, “It’s all right. He can’t hurt you
anymore.” Angie’s comical theatrics had the desired effect and Lilah burst into laughter.

  “Okay, he wasn’t abusive, but he was controlling, and I’m still bitter that I put up with it for so long.”

  “That’s why I think you should start dating again. As soon as possible.”

  Lilah rolled her eyes. “Not this again.”

  “It’s been almost a year and a half. It’s time. You shouldn’t have blown Tyler off. I know you want to date Reggie, but I say the more the merrier.”

  It took them several minutes to disembark the ferry, and Lilah had thought their discussion of her nonexistent love life was over. Angie didn’t agree.

  “I hate to be the bucket of ice water here, but if you don’t start dating, or at least pick out a candidate for a serious one-night stand, how are you going to complete everything on The List?”

  “Item 38?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I don’t need a man for that,” Lilah said, unable to hide her blush.

  “Girl, that would be no fun at all.”

  “I’m just joking. I don’t know what to do about that. You know me. It’s completely unrealistic for me to get that close to someone in the next week.”

  “Yeah, right. And you’ve kissed Tyler how many times?”

  Lilah looked away. “That doesn’t count.”

  “Tease.”

  “What?” Lilah stopped in her tracks.

  “You heard me,” Angie said over her shoulder, forcing Lilah to catch up to her. “You’re a tease. What kind of woman takes every opportunity to fuse her lips to a man’s but won’t consent to a proper date? You need to face reality. You like Tyler. Tyler likes you. You need a man for item 38.”

  Lilah blinked at Angie. She knew her friend didn’t believe she was a tease, but her blunt words caught her off guard, nonetheless.

  “It’s not like you’d have to marry him. So…what’s the problem?”

  Marry him? Was that the problem? Were her feelings for Tyler the kind that led to marriage?

  Lilah shook her head. The prospect of it all was just too overwhelming. “I’ll tell you what the problem is, Angie. Too much of this trip has been focused on men already. I came to New York to spend some quality time with my best friend. If at the end of my time here, that’s all I’ve accomplished, the journey will be well worth it.”

  Angie gave her a cherubic smile for a moment. “Aw, that’s sweet…but quit trying to change the subject. You’re still not completely focused on completing your list. I feel like I’m more committed to getting everything done than you are.”

  “That’s not true. Here we are at the Statue of Liberty. This is something I’ve always wanted to see in person. Let me enjoy the moment. I’ll worry about the next task when this one is done. Here, take my picture.”

  Despite the density of the crowd milling about the base of the statue, Lilah was able to find a spot that showed her in the foreground and the majestic statue behind her.

  Staring up at the famous icon, Lilah was genuinely surprised at how impressed she was. Lady Liberty was so much bigger than she ever could have imagined. And to think this amazing symbol of freedom was a gift.

  Lilah looked back over the Hudson River and admired the Manhattan skyline. Lilah thought back to her lonely trip to Ground Zero a few days ago, where the World Trade Center used to stand.

  When Lilah had begun making her list fourteen years earlier, she could never have known such a site would exist. She’d grown up thinking if you tried to be a good person and did your best, your reward was that nothing bad would happen to you.

  Now, the nearly thirty-year-old Lilah knew the truth. No matter what you do, sometimes bad things happened anyway.

  Since that realization, Lilah had continued to play it safe. Trying to mitigate her chances of anything further going wrong.

  What good did that really do? As Lilah looked back over her first few days in the city, she realized the people of New York didn’t cower inside. They got out each day and lived.

  They lived.

  If Lilah kept trying to play it safe, what stories would she have to tell her grandchildren? She might have a long life, but it would be a boring one. But if she completed The List, she could die the next day with some brilliant memories and some amazing experiences.

  Lilah’s List Blog Entry, November 1, 2007

  Is it possible to die from public humiliation? In just a few hours I’ll be able to tell you firsthand. Of course, that’s only if I survive. I’m talking about karaoke, my friends. Lilah Banks appearing for one night only.

  Tyler studied Lilah’s blog, contemplating his next move. Was it time to bow out gracefully? Lilah had clearly blown him off.

  According to her writings, she would be at a karaoke bar that evening. If she’d wanted to, she could have invited him along, or even agreed to have dinner with him before or afterward.

  Lilah was definitely sending him mixed messages. But he’d learned some interesting information today. She was divorced. That could have any woman running scared.

  How long had she been divorced? If the guy was still calling her, it must have been recent. The last thing he wanted was to start up a rebound relationship. They already had the fact that they lived in separate states working against them.

  Tyler just didn’t know what to do. He’d never had to work hard to pursue a woman before. He wasn’t shy, but he’d found himself dating women who were aggressive and liked to be the pursuers.

  He needed some advice. Tyler had many male friends, but at the end of the day, there was really only one person he could confide in.

  He picked up the phone and dialed.

  “Yo.” Reggie answered the phone.

  “Hey, man, I know you’re probably getting ready to go out tonight. But I need some advice.”

  “You want my advice?” There was a long pause as if he was waiting for a retraction. “Cool, what do you need?”

  “I need to know how to get a woman’s attention.”

  “Bro, I love you and all. But I just can’t, in good conscience, give you advice about Monique. I still think that chick is a—”

  “I know,” Tyler cut him off. “Which is why you’ll be thrilled to know that I broke up with her. I’m interested in someone else, but she keeps sending me mixed signals.”

  “Okay, now you’re speaking my language. There’s nothing like a good challenge to spice things up with a woman. So, you think she’s interested, but just when things get going she backs off?”

  “She seems fine with being friends, and we’ve flirted a lot. More than flirted. She’s even made the first move a few times. But she doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge that there’s something developing.”

  “Hmm. Maybe she just wants to get physical. And if that’s the case, bro…I can’t see a problem.”

  “I’m pretty sure it’s not that. I found out that she’s divorced. I think that may have something to do with it.”

  “Ah, that’s bad news, man. Divorcées come with baggage.”

  Tyler ran his hand over his head. “So what are you saying? You can’t help me?”

  “No, I’m not saying that at all. I’m just asking…are you sure you want to get involved?”

  “I’m sure. I’d at least like to get a straight answer from her, once and for all. If she doesn’t want to be with me, that’s fine. But I don’t want to give up if she’s just scared and needs a little push.”

  “Okay, you need to make a grand gesture. When I’m at a club and some girl I’m trying to talk to is playing hard to get, I have a foolproof method. This may not work for you, but I usually ask the DJ to get me a mic, and I serenade her in front of everyone. That melts girls like ice in the sun.”

  Tyler sighed. “You know I can’t sing. You hogged all the musical skills.”

  “Well, you have to find your own mojo, but the key is the grand gesture. Girls like all that white-knight type of stuff. You know?”

  “I hear what you’re saying, bu
t I don’t think I can deliver. This girl and her friend are going to be at a karaoke bar tonight. Trying to sing isn’t going to get me anywhere.”

  “Then you’re going to have to make her jealous.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, turn the tables on her. If there’s one sure-fire way to get a girl off the fence, it’s another woman.”

  Tyler rubbed his temple. This was definitely crossing a line. Could he really do something like that? Maybe this thing with Lilah just wasn’t meant to be.

  “I don’t know about that, Reggie. If she sees me with someone else, I could blow my chances with her completely.”

  “Ty, you know business. I know women. Isn’t that why you came to the expert? Here I am giving you full access to all the player skills in my arsenal, but what’s the point if you don’t have the guts to use them.”

  “It has nothing to do with guts, it has to do with principles.”

  “Principles don’t keep you warm at night. Aren’t you the one who’s always telling me that nothing worth having comes easy? Isn’t she worth the risk?”

  Tyler stared at his feet, exasperated. “It’s just not an option. I just told you that I broke up with Monique—”

  “Say no more. I don’t want you going down that road again. She was too much.”

  “You can say that again. Can you believe after I broke things off, she literally chased me around the apartment, begging for breakup sex? She was a freak.”

  “Wait a minute…she was a freak? Do you mean in bed?”

  Tyler could practically hear the gears turning in his brother’s head. “Don’t even think about it. She’d break you in half. Let’s get back to my problem.”

  “Oh yeah. Okay, shaking it off. There’s another way to go about this. You stay completely blameless, but it still has the desired effect. Are you game?”

  Tyler paused. He wanted Lilah’s attention, but was scheming the right way to go about getting it?

  He blew out the breath he was holding. Reggie was right, women wanted grand gestures. And Lilah was definitely worth the risk.