The Christmas Secret (Christmas Hope)

by VanLiere, Donna

  “Hey, come back sometime and we’ll play space mission,” Jason said, whispering. “Next time I’ll be Dakmar the Dark from the planet Gondor and I’ll threaten your planet with total ruin and devastation.”

  “What’s ruin and debastation?” Marcus asked.

  “It’s bad,” Jason said. “It’s really, really bad!”

  The man paid Matt for his pants and grabbed Marcus’s hand. “Come on,” he said.

  “Bye,” Marcus said, waving.

  “Idiot,” Jason said, watching the man walk ahead of Marcus through the store.

  “Have you gone to Glory’s Place yet?” Marshall asked.

  Jason jumped at his voice and tugged on the rack, pulling it to the front of the department. “No.”

  Matt busied himself tearing apart the denim display and pretended not to listen. “But it’d be good for you,” Marshall said, perturbed.

  “I think I know what’s good for me,” Jason said, hanging several button-down shirts onto a rack.

  Marshall lifted a handful of shirts and added them to the rack. “Is what you do for your own good or for someone else’s good as well?”

  Jason rolled his eyes. It sounded like a plaque on one of the office walls. “All I’m saying is I don’t want to volunteer there. I’m not rejecting all of mankind here.”

  Marshall grabbed the sleeves of several shirts and shook out the wrinkles. “We help Glory’s Place every year with donations but they need help from young people like you.”

  Jason’s phone beeped and he pulled it out of his pocket, reading a text message from Ashley. Marshall held out his hand. “What?” Jason said.

  “Absolutely no phones on the floor.”

  “I’m not talking to anyone. I’m reading a text.”

  “Not on store time you’re not.” He held his open palm in front of Jason. Jason smirked and put the phone in Marshall’s hand. “Pick it up on your break.”

  Jason swore beneath his breath and Matt stepped from behind the denim wall he was building. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “He took my phone. Good news is I read the text and my girlfriend’s coming here for a visit.”

  “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Matt said.

  “If she’s coming for a visit she’ll be my girlfriend,” Jason said.

  “So it’s all about convenience and timing?” Matt asked.

  “That’s the way it usually plays out,” Jason said.

  On Friday Maddie was diagnosed with pneumonia and I asked Betty if I could work her shift until she came back. She agreed and I scrambled again to find a sitter. By two thirty I still hadn’t found one and the kids would be home in an hour and a half. I would have an hour off between my first and second shift. I reasoned that if I hadn’t found someone by then that I would race home and make something for Zach and Haley’s dinner. I didn’t tell anyone what I was thinking, that for the first time in their lives my children would stay home alone. If I make dinner, cover the window on the front door so no one can see inside, and they lock the door then they’ll be safe, I said to myself. They can eat, do their homework, watch a movie, and then it’ll be time for bed. No, they can’t do that. They’re too little. I battled with myself until three thirty and then bolted out the door for home.

  Leftover tuna casserole was in the fridge and I poured some peas into a bowl with a little water and popped it in the microwave. I reached for a plate and scooped three big spoonfuls of casserole onto it. While the peas cooked I went to the bathroom and pulled out a bath towel. I tried to secure it over the front door window but it was too heavy and I had no way to hold it there. I ran for the kitchen and brought out the roll of paper towels and the masking tape. I hung three sheets of towel over the first window and three over the second, securing each “curtain” with the tape. I hung a second and third layer on each window and taped the bottom of the towels as well, holding them in place. I opened the door and stepped outside, trying to peer through the windows. “There,” I said. I shut the blinds on the living-room windows and pulled the curtain to cover the deck sliding door. I checked the blinds in each of the bedrooms and ran back to the living room to make sure the TV and DVD player were all set for a movie. They’ll be okay, I thought, warming the tuna casserole. They’ll be okay, they’ll be okay, they’ll be okay.

  The phone rang and I jumped. I popped the second plate in the microwave and pushed start. “Hello,” I said.

  “Uh, hi. Is this Angela Eisley?” a man asked.

  I always knew when it was a telemarketer because they always called me by my first name. I reached for the aluminum foil. I had no time for salespeople right now. “It is but—”

  “My name’s Jason and I’m calling with Glory’s Place.”

  I ripped off a sheet of aluminum foil and wrapped it around the warm plate. “Right! Yes,” I said.

  “Um, I was told to call you and let you know that Glory’s Place has room for your children if you need to bring them in sometime after school.”

  I let out a sigh of relief. “You are a lifesaver,” I said. “I really didn’t think I’d ever hear from you again. When can I bring them?”

  I heard him talking with someone in the background. “The center is closed on Tuesdays and Thursdays but you can bring them the other days.”

  “Do I need to tell you when I’m bringing Zach and Haley or can I just drop them off?”

  I heard more muffled mumbling in the background. “You can just drop them off. Come in and fill out paperwork with whoever’s here. Usually Dalton and Heddy are here in the afternoon.”

  My mind kicked into gear to find a sitter for Tuesday. The microwave beeped and I ripped off another sheet of aluminum foil. “You have no idea how you’ve made my day,” I said.

  “Well, that’s what I try to do,” he said. “It’s my gift.”

  I heard screaming at the door and thanked the man for calling again. Zach and Haley fell into the doorway, breathing hard. “She’s standing there again, Mom!” Zach said, handing me his coat.

  “Who? Mrs. Meredith?”

  “You mean the Bat Lady,” Haley said, kicking off her boots.

  “Please don’t let her hear you call her that,” I said. “It’s not nice.”

  “Bats aren’t nice, either,” Zach said.

  I squatted down and pulled each of them in front of me. “Listen, we need to talk,” I said.

  Jason input Angela’s information into the computer and stepped out of the office at Glory’s Place. He saw a little boy trying to shoot a basket and walked to the court. “Hey! Space commander!”

  Marcus turned and smiled. “Hey, I know you. You’re Dakmar the Great.”

  “Dakmar the Dark. And don’t you forget it,” Jason said. “What are you doing here?”

  “His mother dropped him off at our house this morning,” Dalton said. Dalton Gregory and his wife Heddy had been instrumental in finding this building for Glory’s Place. Gloria kept them busy but they never complained. “It beats the alternative,” Dalton always said.

  “Hey, Jason! Watch this.” Jason turned as Marcus popped a basketball high above his head.

  “Nothing but air,” Jason said. “What was that? Here, try it like this.” He helped Marcus hold the ball and send it flying.

  “It’s hard,” Marcus said.

  “But it gets easier. You just need to practice.” He laughed, watching Marcus heave the ball. “It’s not a shot put. It’s a ball!” Marcus laughed and tried again. “Why’s he here?” Jason asked.

  Dalton removed some boxes from the top of a cafeteria table and set them on the floor. He kept his voice low. “His mother’s live-in slaps her around. She’s been to the women’s rescue mission several times but she always goes back to him.”

  “Why?” Jason asked, helping Dalton move the boxes to the floor.

  Dalton shrugged. “Why do they ever go back? I don’t know. She started a new job today and didn’t want to leave Marcus home with him.”

  “I saw hi
m with Marcus in the store. I wouldn’t leave him alone with him, either. Has he ever hit Marcus?”

  “Not that we know of but after a night of drinking or drugs that could change.”

  Jason watched Marcus pop the ball into the air again and cheered when it swished the bottom of the net. “Now you’re talking,” he said. “Another six inches and it’s going in.” Marcus smiled and ran for the ball. “Would you need me tomorrow?” he asked.

  “Absolutely,” Dalton said. He pointed to two tables covered with boxes. “All these boxes need to be filled along with those against the wall. We’re waiting for the box of donations from Wilson’s along with a box of shampoo, toothpaste, and toothbrushes from the grocery store.” Dalton walked to the next table and began stacking the boxes onto the floor. “We’re going to need this space when the donations come in.”

  Jason picked up a stack of four boxes and set them on the floor. “Who are the boxes for?”

  “The homeless and all the families we help here.”

  Jason pulled his cap over his head. “Did Gloria start this place?”

  “Out of the back of her car,” Dalton said. “Her son was missing for seven years and she couldn’t stand the thought of him wandering the street, wondering if anyone was helping him. She opened her trunk and started passing out socks. It grew from there.”

  Jason looked around the space with the bright-colored walls, classroom area with a few tables and folding chairs, small kitchen space with a few cabinets, refrigerator, and countertop, and the play area complete with indoor basketball hoop, jump ropes, balls, and Marcus, and something moved him. It wasn’t a voice. It wasn’t loud; it fell more like mist but Jason ignored it. “It doesn’t look like much but a lot happens here,” Dalton said.

  “How long have you been here?” Jason asked, walking toward the front door.

  “We’ve been in this space for two years and before that we operated out of Gloria’s home for several years.”

  “And the kids who come here?”

  “Most are being raised by a single mother or their grandparents. Most of them don’t have an active father. A lot of them like Marcus don’t even know their father.” He called to Marcus and held his coat out for him. “Let’s go home and see what Heddy is making for dinner.”

  “I hope it’s mac and cheese!” Marcus said.

  “I hope it’s not,” Dalton said, zipping the boy’s coat.

  “You coming tomorrow?” Marcus asked, looking at Jason.

  “I’ll be here,” Jason said, holding out his fist for Marcus to bump it.

  “I’m gonna take you down, Dakmar,” Marcus said.

  “That’s big talk from a kid who can’t even get the ball to the rim!”

  Jason wrapped his scarf around his neck and stuck his hands in his pocket for the walk back to Wilson’s. His steps were quick over the sidewalks that were whitening with snow but he heard that voice inside him again or was it an echo or something else? It was falling without a sound like light or flakes of snow. He pushed it away. He loved accounting; he was convinced he did it with heart and not just for the paycheck. High-rise living in the city is what he was made for, not some garage apartment in this place. He had no desire to live here or shoot hoops with Marcus after school. The kid couldn’t offer him anything anyway. He reasoned that the sky was too bright, the air too cold, and his belly too hungry to think clearly. There wasn’t a voice among the barren crab apple trees or whispers among the dormant daylilies. He saw the sign for Betty’s up ahead and bent his head down to avoid the snow. He’d get something to eat and forget about Glory’s Place.

  Betty hugged a young woman and waved at someone waiting in a car in front of the restaurant. She closed the door and smiled when she saw me. “Oh, I wish you’d been here thirty seconds earlier to meet my granddaughter! She and her mother come into town and stay with me this time every year and we eat too much food and stay up too late talking.”

  I followed her to the counter and leaned onto it. “So, was that your daughter in the car?”

  Betty slipped on a plastic glove and arranged the pastries in the display case and put any broken cookies into a plastic bag. “Daughter-in-law. She married my son.”

  I grabbed the bottle of window cleaner and sprayed the top of the display case, shining it. “Did he ever work here with you?”

  She laughed. “When he was a teenager he absolutely refused to work in the restaurant with me. His girlfriend did but not Dennis. He thought he was too good. He wasted a lot of years around that time. Did too many drugs. Lost too many jobs. Used too many people. But he finally came to his senses as they say.” She was quiet and closed the display case. “He met Maureen and one day he said he’d like to work in the bakery. He was the best baker in the city.” She looked down into the case and smiled. “He came up with most of these pastry recipes. Nobody makes a cream cheese bear claw as good as Betty’s Bakery and that’s because of Dennis.”

  “So why’d he stop working here?” I asked, setting out two new stacks of napkins in the basket on top of the counter.

  “Heart attack eight years ago. Took him like that,” she said, snapping her fingers. “They said he didn’t feel any pain. It’s always easier on the one leaving.” She held the bag of cookie pieces out to me. “For your babies.” She saw a longtime customer enter with her grandson and walked around the corner to greet her. Since I had started at Betty’s I wondered what it was about this short, stout woman that made her so endearing. I thought it was because she had caught something from her son’s passing. It flickered out through her in the way she talked with customers or dealt with employees. She wasn’t given over to sentimental hog-wash, she was too realistic for that, nor did she romanticize anyone’s problems. They were what they were and Betty understood. That kind of compassion comes with living and losing what you love. I had the sense that Betty had lost a lot.

  Zach and Haley crouched against the wall in his bedroom and listened as the knock grew louder and louder. “It must be the Bat Lady,” Haley said, whispering. “I can hear her flapping her wings.”

  “Shh,” Zach said, scolding her. “We don’t want her to know we’re in here.”

  “I don’t like being here without Mom,” Haley said, clutching Brown Dog tighter to her chest.

  The phone began to ring and Haley jumped up. “Sit down,” Zach said, whispering. “We can’t answer that. We’d have to run out to the kitchen and the Bat Lady would hear us and know we’re in here.” The knocking and ringing bounced off the walls and Haley covered her ears.

  Iopened my cell phone and tried calling the kids again. They’re all right, I thought. They’re just busy playing and didn’t hear the phone. It rang several times and my heart beat faster. “Oh, God,” I whispered. “Please.” It clicked to voice mail and I snapped the phone shut.

  “You have a table,” Betty said, leaning around the corner.

  “I’m coming,” I said, dialing the phone again. Come on, baby. Come on.

  “Hello.” Zach’s voice was quiet and I wanted to cry.

  “Zach, I’ve been calling. Where are you?”

  “We were in my bedroom because someone was knocking on the door. It was probably the Bat Lady trying to scare us.”

  I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. “Mrs. Meredith wouldn’t bother you,” I said. “Take the phone to your bedroom while you play and remember to see if it’s me before you answer it.”

  “Okay, Mom. Are you coming home now?”

  “No, honey. I have a few more hours to go.” He was quiet on the other end. “Great job not answering the door. What was your sister doing?”

  “Freaking out.”

  I laughed. “Good job keeping her calm. Why don’t you take three cookies each back to your room?”

  “How about four each?”

  At that point I would have let them eat the whole package. “You bet. I love you, big man.” He was quiet. “Zach?”

  “I’ve got the hand signal up for I love you.
”

  I laughed and hung up. I didn’t know how I would keep my mind on work for the next five hours. How could I have left them home alone? My phone vibrated and I glanced down to see if it was Zach. It was Brad. I ignored it. I glanced at my section and noticed TS sitting at table one. I could hear Gloria in my head: “He’s TO today. Like Toto.”

  I didn’t have the mental energy to give him much thought; my mind was at home with Zach and Haley. “Hi,” I said, setting a glass of water in front of him.

  “I thought you worked mornings,” he said, taking off his coat.

  “I’m working a double today.”

  He seemed awkward and tongue-tied. “I told my grandfather to come in.” I looked at him, confused. “Did he? He said he talked to you.” I had no idea what he meant. “He had a sack of cookies so I know he came in.”

  “Sure,” I said, just following along. “He bought cookies.”

  “So everything’s good again?” His hair stuck out from beneath his cap and he looked like an ad in one of the outdoor magazines my grandfather would read.

  “Yes,” I said. I was puzzled but he was so sincere about it that I found him charming. Betty busied herself sweeping beneath nearby tables and I wondered if she was spying on me. I looked over at her and she nodded her head toward TS, winking. I rolled my eyes and looked back at him. “What would you like?”

  He glanced over the menu. “Well, I’d ask you but I’m afraid you’d recommend a boiled egg with dry toast again.” I smiled. “Could I just have a burger?”

  “Fries or onion rings?”

  “Surprise me,” he said. I was smiling over that. Come on, I said to myself. “Hey,” he said as I turned to walk away. “How long have you lived here?”

  “Seven years.”

  “Is this what you wanted? You know, when you were a kid?”

  I thought a moment and wondered what he was getting at. “No,” I said. “It’s different.”

  “In a good way or in a bad way?”

  “In a different way,” I said, thinking out loud. I walked to the waitress station and was aware of my jeans and the apron around my waist and hoped he wasn’t looking at me again. Betty winked and put her thumb in the air. He was.