AlwaysYou

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AlwaysYou Page 5

by Karen Stivali


  “Actually, we’re out of condoms.”

  “Good point.” She rubbed against him. “Food and condoms first, then maybe sex later.”

  “Maybe?” Jon pulled her close and tickled her.

  “Okay, definitely.”

  “That’s better.” He kissed her, losing his resolve to get breakfast with each passing second.

  Jon pulled on a t-shirt and shorts and waited for Shari. She emerged from the bathroom in a blue sundress, her hair pulled into a ponytail, looking impossibly fresh and beautiful.

  “Ready?” she asked, grabbing her purse.

  He shifted, trying to find a comfortable way to walk. “Yeah, lead the way.”

  Jon didn’t realize how hungry he was until he took his first bite of food, then he was ravenous. He not only polished off his omelet, he finished the second half of Shari’s along with a huge plate of home fries and at least three muffins.

  He left a tip on the table and slipped his arm around Shari’s waist as they made their way toward the elevator. He nuzzled her neck, inhaling her sweet scent.

  “Don’t forget we need to make a purchase at the shop,” she said, smiling.

  “I haven’t forgotten.” He kissed the side of her head. “I’ll do that now.”

  “I’m going to head up and take a quick shower.”

  The thought of her in the shower rushed through him in a single pulse of heat. “I’ll be right up. As soon as I buy out the store.”

  He opened the hotel room door, purchase in hand, and was disappointed to find the bathroom door closed. He’d hoped to get into the shower with her. Maybe she needs some time to herself.

  He stowed the box of condoms on the bedside table then grabbed his laptop and headed onto the deck. It had been three days since he’d checked his email and he needed to see what he was missing at work.

  Shari wandered out onto the deck just as he finished sending off his last reply. She was wearing a deep purple tank top and a pair of fitted black shorts, her damp hair loose around her shoulders. He could have stared at her all afternoon.

  She took a seat on the chair next to his. “You working?”

  “Not really. Just checking in with Derek to make sure everything’s running smoothly. It’s all good.”

  “He must think you’re crazy, running off with me at a moment’s notice like this.”

  “Not really. He knows I’m in love with you.” Jon felt as if the breath had been knocked from his body as he realized what he’d just said. He heard Shari inhale and looked up to find her staring at him, her eyes round.

  “What?”

  Jon’s heart pounded irregularly, his stomach falling as if he’d just stepped into an elevator shaft. You’ve already said it, say it again. “I’m in love with you.”

  Shari’s mouth hung open. Jon’s eyes flitted back and forth between her gaze andthe ground. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, then looked up at her again.

  She still couldn’t speak. You’re in love with me? The words wouldn’t come out.

  Jon rubbed his forehead then scratched the back of his neck. “I can’t believe I said that out loud.” The color returned to his face in the form of a red flush that crept from his cheeks down his neck. He looked irresistibly cute.

  You’re in love with me? “I….” Her breath rushed out but nothing else.

  “Don’t feel like you have to say anything. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”

  She couldn’t take her eyes off him. “How come you never said anything before?”

  He shrugged, his hair swinging low over his eyes. He looked vulnerable and more adorable than she’d ever seen him. “I thought about it, lots of times. Every time you broke up with someone. But you never stayed single for very long. I never wanted to be that guy.”

  “What guy?”

  “The rebound guy. Or the jerk who swoops in while the woman’s still confused from the last guy.” His eyes met hers. “Look, this doesn’t change anything. You’re going through a lot right now and the last thing you need is to feel pressured.”

  Shari shifted from her lounge chair onto his and silenced him with a kiss. He seemed startled but quickly recovered, digging his fingers into her hair. She tried to tell him with her lips what she hadn’t been able to say with her voice. She rested her hand on his chest and felt his heart pounding. I think he really means it. Her mind was swimming. The dizzying effect of his tongue wasn’t helping her to think any more clearly. When her phone vibrated in her pocket she nearly fell off the chair.

  She broke away and fumbled to open it. “Hello?’ She felt as though she might pass out.

  It was Hank Reynolds, her lawyer. She and Jon had known him since college. “I’m glad you picked up. Where are you?”

  “I’m in Aruba. What’s going on?”

  “I got an urgent message from Phil’s lawyer this morning. He’s canceled the lease on the place you were due to move into and he’s trying to have you held accountable for the fees for backing out on short notice.”

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah, deep shit. The leasing company ran your credit report and you don’t earn enough to qualify for the lease by yourself. You either pay them $5k to settle or it goes to court. Can you swing that?”

  “Fuck.” She stood and walked to the edge of the balcony, briefly considering jumping. “No. I don’t think so. I won’t even get half that when I get my security deposit back.” Her voice trailed off as it hit her. Without the new place she had nowhere to stay. The lease on her apartment was up in two days.

  “That’s the other thing.” Hank’s voice sounded serious.

  “Phil moved his stuff out of your old place, but he told them not to touch your stuff. I checked with your landlord, the place is already rented, so you still need to get out.”

  Shari sank onto the end of the lounge chair, her head anchored in her hand. “Okay, I’ll figure something out. I’ll call you later.”

  She hung up and looked at Jon. His eyes were crystal clear and filled with concern. “What’s going on?”

  “I have to go home.”

  * * * * *

  Jon strode through the airport alongside Shari trying to figure out how everything had managed to turn so upside down. This morning he’d woken up happier than he’d ever been in his life, with the woman of his dreams curled beside him, warm from sleep and sex. Now he was rushing to an airport gate, five days ahead of schedule, so she could get home to pack up her belongings and move. But where?

  Shari had assumed that Phil would have moved into the studio he owned in the city and let her move into their new place at least temporarily. They’d already paid the first month’s rent. Instead he’d pulled out of the contract and told the movers not to touch her things in their apartment. Typical power play from the asshole.

  Jon helped her stow her bag in the overhead compartment and took his seat next to her. She looked completely frazzled, her brow furrowed, her eyes dark with anger and worry.

  He picked up her hand, glad that she didn’t pull away. “I’ll help you pack.”

  She nodded. He wasn’t even sure she was listening.

  “You can move in with me.” Jon’s stomach knotted while he waited for her response.

  “I can’t do that to you. You’ve already done so much to help me.”

  He turned her face toward him. “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. I know it didn’t come out like I planned, but I meant what I said at the hotel. I love you. I have for a really long time. I want to be with you. Move in with me.”

  It killed him to see how frightened and uncertain she looked. She shook her head. “I don’t know. I need time to think. Everything’s happening so fast. I didn’t think this through.”

  Tears started to roll down her cheeks and he swiped them away with his thumbs. He kissed her forehead, keeping his lips pressed against her as he inhaled the scent of her hair. “We’ll work it out. It’s all going to be fine.”

  She squeezed his hand
and rested her head against his shoulder. He wished he could believe his own words of reassurance.

  Shari was unusually quiet for the entire flight, her silence making Jon more nervous by the minute. Is she thinking about Phil? About packing her shit? Does she think this whole thing between us was a mistake? Why the fuck did I have to go and tell her I love her? I wait all these years to avoid being the rebound guy and then I do this? Fucking idiot. It’s too soon.

  He fidgeted in his seat as he she stared out the window. The flight landed early and there was no wait at baggage claim. He helped the cab driver load their bags into the trunk.

  “Can you make two stops?” she asked the driver.

  Jon’s heart sank even further. “Let me help you pack.”

  Shari’s eyes met his. “I have to go to Hank’s office and sign papers. I have a million phone calls to make. And I know you have a ton of stuff to do. I did whisk you out of the country on a moment’s notice. I’ll be fine.”

  “I know you’ll be fine. I just want to help you.”

  He could see her struggling in her mind. He knew exactly what she was doing. Whenever she ran into any kind of problem she withdrew into herself, insisting on taking care of everything on her own. She’d been like that since they’d first met.

  Even when her mother had died she’d tried to manage all the arrangements with no help from anyone. He’d had to literally force his way into the house and insist she let him help clean up and box her mother’s belongings. Later she’d told him that she was glad he had. That she’d been about to lose it.

  She was slipping into the same mode again. Autopilot. Stubborn. Closed off. Only this time he’d added the complication of his feelings. He was no longer “just Jon” her trusty friend, now he was the guy who loved her. An additional wrinkle to her already complex situation. Fuck.

  * * * * *

  The cab pulled up in front of Shari’s apartment and she got out, fumbling in her purse for her keys while the driver got her bag. Jon got out with her. She could see the worried look on his face and she felt terrible for putting it there, but she couldn’t say anything that would make it go away.

  “How about if I swing by tonight with a pizza and some boxes?” He rested his hand on her hip.

  She was tempted to fling her arms around him and beg him not to leave her side, but she couldn’t let herself do it. “No, I’ll grab boxes on the way back from Hank’s. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you.”

  His gaze searched hers. “Okay.”

  She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss then turned and headed into the building. She knew if she glanced back she’d drop her bags and run into his arms so she forced herself to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

  The apartment was a disaster. Phil’s movers had left all her belongings in a state of complete disarray. She picked up the phone to call Hank’s office and realized she had no dial tone. Fucking Phil. He’d already had the phone turned off.

  Her cell battery had only two bars left. She arranged to meet Hank and headed out the door.

  Hank had all the papers ready for her to sign and he’d reserved a truck to pick up her things on Friday.

  “Do you know where you’re going?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “I have no idea.”

  “I have a friend who needs a house sitter in a few weeks. If you can find someplace to crash until then you could probably move in there.”

  “Thanks. I may take you up on that.”

  “Seriously, where are you going to stay? I’d invite you to our place but with the new baby and Sheila’s mother staying with us I don’t feel like there’s even room for me right now.”

  Shari waved her hand. “I’ll figure something out. Jon said I could go to his place.”

  Hank’s face brightened. “Oh, then you’re all set.”

  “Not exactly. It’s…complicated.”

  She’d known Hank for as long as she’d known Jon. For a lawyer he was incredibly intolerant of drama. “What do you mean, complicated?”

  “I think he offered for me to move in as in move in, like live with him.”

  Hank’s eyebrows drew together. “As what? Roommates?”

  “No.”

  “Son of a bitch. Did he finally make his move?” Hank’s mouth twisted into a grin.

  Shari felt her face get hot.

  Hank shook his head in amazement. “I’ll be damned. It’s about time. Plenty of us have always thought you two would get together.”

  “What?” Shari dropped her pen on the floor and watched as it rolled under Hank’s desk.

  “Come on, Shari. The guy’s been in love with you forever. And you’ve always seemed happier when you’re hanging out with him than you have with any of these dill weeds you’ve dated. Phil being case in point.”

  “Are you kidding me? People actually talk about this?”

  “Hell, yeah.” He nodded, as if she was the only person on the planet who was unaware of this universal fact. “You can’t tell me you’ve never thought about it. Honestly we all assumed you were friends with benefits.”

  Her eyes popped open wide. “What? No. We never. I mean well, now, yeah, but…”

  Hank laughed. “So you guys had your honeymoon first. You’ve known each other for eight years. I think you’re entitled to mess with the normal order of things a little bit.”

  Shari shook her head. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to fuck things up.”

  “Sweetie, in case you haven’t noticed, everything’s already fucked up. Do you love the guy?”

  Her breath caught in her throat.

  “Simple question. Yes or no.”

  Either answer scared her to death.

  * * * * *

  Shari struggled the stack of boxes into her apartment, two spools of packing tape looped over her arm. She decided to start in the bedroom. One step into the room she dropped everything on the floor. Fucking Phil had taken the bed.

  She slumped onto the floor and put her head in her hands. Last week her life had been completely in order. She was going to marry Phil. Sure, he was a jerk sometimes, but she thought he loved her. She thought after they got married he’d stop fooling around and they could have a life together. Perfection was not something she’d ever hoped for, she just wanted to be happy. To be settled.

  Everything around the room reminded her of her plans. The new linens they’d gotten from their registry. The antique vanity she’d bought because it was the perfect size to fit in the alcove of their new master bedroom. The framed Degas print she’d bought to go over the bed. Now all of it reminded her of how screwed she was. In forty-eight hours she’d be homeless.

  She taped a box together and started loading it full of stuff. Five boxes later she finally made her way to her closet. As she reached up to the top shelf, she knocked over a stack of jeans and sent the box next to them crashing to the floor.

  Tons of pictures scattered across the carpet. She knelt to gather them. She’d been meaning to start scrapbooking for years, but she’d never gotten around to it. As she picked up the photos she smiled. The first one she grabbed was from college graduation. It was her with Hank, Jon and Sheila. She’d forgotten how much hair Hank used to have. Jon looked younger but just as handsome. Her heart tugged inside her chest. I miss him.

  As she flipped through the other photos she realized just how many Jon was in. College. The house they’d all rented together the summer after graduation. The road trip to Hank and Sheila’s wedding out in Chicago while he was in law school. Jon was a part of so many of her memories. Most of her happy ones.

  There was nothing in the box that reminded her of Phil. In the three years they’d been a couple she couldn’t remember them being in more than a handful of photos together. Phil wasn’t one for sentiment. They hadn’t even taken pictures the few times they’d been on vacation together.

  She heard her cell phone humming but couldn’t remember where she’d left it. By the time she f
ound it next to her purse on the kitchen counter, the message light was blinking. She turned it on, noticing that the last battery bar was flashing. “Shit.” Where the hell is my charger?

  She pressed the button to dial voicemail and hoped she’d make it through the whole message before she lost the charge. The sound of Jon’s voice made her hold her breath. “Hey, it’s me. Just checking to make sure you’re all right. I know you said you’d call and I know you’re busy so I don’t want to be a pain in the ass, I just want you to know I’m here if you need me, okay? I mean I hope you know that. No matter what else is going on I’m always here as your friend. I’m worried about you. And I know it complicates things, but I love you. Okay, well, that’s it. Call me.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. She wanted to listen to it again but when she pressed four to replay it the battery flashed twice and went dead. Shit. Now she couldn’t call him back either. She searched all over until she finally found the power cord but when she plugged it in she still had no signal. She curled up on the couch with the phone charging beside her, waiting until it had enough bars to be usable. She closed her eyes for just a moment.

  * * * * *

  The sound of banging startled her awake. For a second she wasn’t sure where she was. She sat up too fast, sending her cell phone crashing to the floor. Dammit. She squinted in the bright morning sunlight. The banging resumed and she realized someone was knocking on her door. Jon. She rushed to answer it, flinging it open, shocked to find Phil standing in front of her, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

  Chapter Six

  Jon awoke, his neck stiff and achy. He’d fallen asleep watching TV, the phone in his lap in case Shari called him back. She hadn’t. His chest hurt. He massaged his temples and rubbed his eyes. It was only seven a.m.

  He dialed her cell phone again but it went straight to voicemail. She was probably asleep. No matter what she planned on doing today she was likely still at the apartment. He walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. All he knew was he had to see her.

 

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