Within ten minutes he was dressed and out the door. He stopped at her favorite bakery and picked up muffins and coffee, certain she wouldn’t have stopped to eat the night before. His mind raced as he tried to figure out what to say to her. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, to make love to her, but he knew that wasn’t what she needed. She needed her friend Jon back, so that’s what he was going to give her. No strings attached.
He found a parking spot a block from her building and walked down the street, trying not to drop the coffees as he shoved his keys in his pocket. As he approached the main door his heart stopped. Phil’s car was parked right in front of the building. He felt as though he’d been sucker punched.
It’s seven o’clock in the morning. She never called back last night because she’s been with Phil. The thought turned his stomach. He considered going up to her apartment anyway. Having a showdown. Fighting for her. I’m better for her than that asshole. But he stopped himself. He’d told her he loved her and she hadn’t said it back. She hadn’t said anything. He turned back toward his car, dumping the coffee and muffins in a trash can on his way.
When Shari saw Phil standing in her doorway her heart sank.
“We need to talk.” He handed her the flowers and strode past her into the apartment.
She raked her fingers through her hair and closed the door. “So talk.”
Phil’s jaw set. “Can you come sit down so we can do this like grown-ups?”
“Fine.” She tossed the bouquet onto the coffee table.
He took a seat on the couch and she perched on the far end, facing him. He appeared flawless, his dark hair neatly combed into place, his shirt ironed, tie in a perfect knot. The consummate professional. The ideal businessman. The guy she was going to marry. She didn’t even want to look at him.
His gray-green eyes met hers and he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
Those were not words she’d heard from him very often over the years. Her eyebrow rose. “About what? The fact that I have no place to live? Or the fact that you were cheating on me? Or maybe it’s guilt about the lawsuit I’ll have pending if I don’t hock half my belongings to cover the lease agreement fees.”
“I’m sorry about all of it. I’ve already talked to my lawyer. The fees are taken care of. In fact, if we still want to we can get back in on the lease. I’ve left Tina.”
She stared at him, dumbfounded.
“I’ve been fooling myself. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too so I could never let her go, but these past few days with her I realized I don’t really want her. I never did. There’s only one woman I ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with, only one woman I ever proposed to, and it’s not Tina. It’s you. I promise things are over with her, for good. You’re the one I want.”
That bordered on being the most romantic thing Phil had ever said to her.
He scooted closer, his hand on her leg, his thumb rubbing her knee. “We’re good together. We can make this work, I know it. What do you say we give it another try?” He pulled her onto his lap, his hands circling behind her, his lips on hers. She let him kiss her, shocked by the fact that she felt nothing. His fingers worked across her back, his tongue circled hers. It was the same way he’d kissed her for three years, yet it felt as if he were a stranger. All she could think of was Jon.
She pushed herself up off Phil’s lap. “No.” She stepped away from him, shaking her head.
Phil took a deep breath and blew it out. “Come on, baby. You know we can work this out, you know I love you.”
“No, I don’t know that. I know you’ve hurt me. I know you’ve betrayed me.”
“It’ll be different now. I promise.”
She didn’t believe him. It occurred to her that she’d never completely trusted him. Once again Jon popped into her mind. Jon she trusted. Completely. Oh my God. I’m such a fool. She looked Phil straight in the eyes. “The only thing that’s going to be different is that you’re not going to be in my life anymore.”
“You’re being irrational.” Phil’s voice had a harder edge to it. One she knew all too well. “You don’t even have anywhere to go. What are you going to do when they toss you out on the street tomorrow morning?”
“I’m going to Jon’s.” Saying the words out loud empowered her.
“Jon’s? Won’t that put a crimp in his Casanova lifestyle?”
She glared at him. “For your information, he asked me to move in with him.”
Phil narrowed his eyes. “Oh don’t tell me. Did you fuck him?”
Her nostrils flared.
Phil let out an ugly laugh. “Tell me you’re not that stupid. So what, you’re going to be his flavor of the month? Has he already fucked every other woman in the tri-state area? Or is this pity-fuck month and you’re the lucky winner?”
“Get out.” She’d never had the nerve to stand up to Phil before but now she felt unstoppable.
“No.”
“I mean it, get out. Now.”
“So you can pack to run away to Jon’s house? How long do you think it’ll be before he gets tired of you? A month? A week? I don’t see him here. Maybe he’s already moved on.”
Shari flashed through all the things Jon had said to her about his feelings, about their history, about Phil being an ass. “Jon loves me.” Saying the words out loud gave them more meaning. They filled her with hope, with confidence. She finally let herself believe them.
“He does not.” Phil’s tone was snotty and condescending. She stared at him, seeing what Jon must have seen every time he looked at him—a conniving, controlling man who didn’t care for her at all.
“Yeah, he really does. You just can’t understand because you’ve never loved anyone other than yourself. Now I mean it, get out.”
She stepped back and he grabbed her arm, hard, jerking her toward him. “This is your last chance, I’m not coming back again.”
“Good.” She wrenched away from him and held the door open. She wanted nothing more than for him to leave so she could go see Jon.
* * * * *
When the doorbell rang Jon considered not getting it. He was in no mood to make small talk with the mailman or sign for a neighbor’s package. It rang a second time, then a third. Jesus Christ.
He yanked the door open and felt his jaw drop. Shari stood before him, her eyes wide and bright. He’d missed her so much he wanted to scoop her into his arms, but he realized she was probably there to tell him she was back with Phil. He felt his gut tighten. “Hey,” was all he could manage.
“Can we talk?” she asked, looking anxious. She bit her lip.
“Sure.” I don’t want to hear this. He stepped aside to let her in.
“I just wanted to tell you—”
He couldn’t take it. “I know. You’re back with Phil.”
Her eyes bugged. “What?”
He felt like an idiot. “I drove to your apartment this morning. I saw his car. It’s okay.”
“Are you crazy?”
“Look, you were planning to marry the guy, I get it. Don’t worry about it.”
She shook her head, letting out an exasperated gasp. “Would you just listen to me for a minute?”
He shoved his hands into his pockets, not sure he could look her in the eye, but she moved closer, making it impossible for him to avoid her. She looked so beautiful it tore at him. Just say it and get it over with.
“Yes, Phil stopped by this morning. He came over to offer me another chance with him.”
I knew it.
“But I threw him out.”
Jon’s interest piqued. “You did?”
Shari nodded. “He tried to convince me. He says he broke it off with Tina. He promised things would be different. And then he kissed me.”
Jon cringed.
“And all I could think of was you.”
He looked into her dark, sparkling eyes.
“I’m such an idiot, Jon. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to see this. You’re t
he best friend I’ve ever had. You’re the best lover I’ve ever had. I can’t even imagine not having you in my life. I love you.”
Jon’s heart was beating in his ears. “Would you mind repeating that last part one more time?”
Shari smiled, her eyes filling with tears. “I love you.”
He swept her into his arms and kissed her. She sank her fingers into his hair, pulling him closer, her tears wetting his cheeks. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say those words. I love you.” He smoothed her hair back behind her ears, kissing her eyelids, her cheeks, then coming back to her mouth.
Shari leaned into him, dragging him toward her. “So, do you still want a roommate?”
“I want you. Period.”
She stroked his cheek. Her warmth passed through him, stirring him from head to toe. “I don’t have a bed. Phil took it.”
Jon chuckled. “I’m thinking we can just use mine.”
Her eyes twinkled at him. “Whatever happened to those condoms you were supposed to buy?”
A smile spread across his face. “They’re in my suitcase.”
“What size box did you get?”
“The twelve-pack.”
She frowned.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.” She went up on tiptoe and kissed him, her hips grazing against him. “I just think we’re going to have to start buying in bulk.”
He scooped her up, striding toward the staircase. “Okay, but I think a dozen ought to hold us for today.”
About the Author
Karen Stivali is a prolific writer, compulsive baker, and chocoholic with a penchant for books, movies and fictional British men.
Karen welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email address on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.
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