Daughter of Chaos (Red Magic)

by Jen McConnel

  The offer was tempting, but I shook my head. I couldn’t do that to her; what would happen when Hecate caught up with me?

  I waved as she drove off, but as her brake lights receded, I felt a wave of panic. What if I was stranded at the gas station for the night? Glancing around at the dark parking lot, I pulled my bag higher on my shoulder and headed inside to get a snack and to see if I could find another ride.

  The bell over the door jangled, and I looked around to see if anyone had noticed me. The bored clerk was snapping his gum and reading a magazine, and there was only one other person in the store, a man in a baseball cap back at the coffee machine. Neither of them looked up as I came inside.

  I paid for my candy bar with cash; I decided that I would try not to use my credit card unless it truly was an absolute emergency. Maybe the longer I stayed off the Nons’ radar, the longer I could stay off Hecate’s, as well.

  As I pocketed my change, the guy in the hat stepped up and paid for his coffee. “Got a long ways ’til Atlanta!” he chortled as the clerk raised an eyebrow at the size of his steaming coffee. My ears perked up. This was almost too good to be true!

  “Are you headed to Atlanta tonight?” I asked, trying to seem nonchalant. The man looked at me curiously and nodded. I exhaled and forced a smile. He wouldn’t have been my first pick of traveling companion, but beggars can’t be choosers, and I really didn’t want to be stuck at that gas station all night. “I’m trying to get there. Could you give me a ride?”

  “You hitchin’?”

  I nodded, trying to look confident. The guy stared at me for a long time before he finally nodded. I suppressed a shiver; something about his eyes unnerved me. I didn’t let myself dwell on it, because anything was better than dealing with Hecate. So what if his eyes were creepy? He was probably just tired. I followed the guy out to a big red semi and hauled myself up into the cab. The road looked strange; I’d never been up that high in a car before, and the windshield distorted my depth perception. Still, the truck was headed west, and it would take me where I needed to be.

  Ever since the golden writing had appeared in my book, I’d had a suspicion that Aphrodite was the one who was helping me. Because of that, I was headed toward Atlanta. Besides being a huge city where I could hopefully hide from Hecate, Atlanta was named after a myth. There was a girl named Atlanta who swore she’d never marry. Aphrodite got involved, being the goddess of love and all that, and the girl agreed to marry anyone who could beat her at a race. The goddess picked a suitor that she liked and gave him three golden apples. For some reason, the Atlanta chick was distracted by the gold, and the suitor flung the apples off the path whenever he needed a chance to pull into the lead. He won the race and the girl, and supposedly they lived happily ever after.

  Even though my experience with the goddesses I’d met indicated that they could pop up anywhere at any time, I thought I stood a better chance of winning Aphrodite’s favor if I could get to a city named after one of the mortals she had liked. Besides, getting as far away from my family as I could seemed like a good idea; even if Hecate came after me in Georgia, they wouldn’t be around to be harmed.

  The trucker and I passed the first hour in relative silence, each lost in our own thoughts as the countryside passed by the windows.

  When we drove through Charlotte, the trucker leaned forward and turned the knob on the old radio wedged in the dash. He glanced over at me.

  “Mind if we have some music?”

  I shook my head. A twangy country song filled the cab, and I suppressed a smile. How stereotypical, I thought.

  “Damn, I hate that whiny country shit.” I was startled to hear his response, and I laughed despite myself. He changed the station to classic rock and sat back, satisfied. “I bet you thought I was one of those rednecks who chews tobacco and listens to Patsy Cline, right, girly?”

  I blushed, embarrassed that he’d read my disparaging thoughts. He chuckled when he saw my uncomfortable reaction. “I’m a good southern boy, but nothing beats the Stones.”

  We settled back into silence, but when I looked across the cab, I thought I saw a smile playing around his lips.

  “I don’t even know your name!” I blurted out. It had just occurred to me how odd that was. “And you don’t know my name,” I added lamely.

  “Well, girly, I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

  I hesitated for a minute, but I decided to tell him the truth. “Darlena.”

  “Darlena.” For some reason, I didn’t like the way my name sounded in his mouth, and I tensed. But all he said was, “That’s real pretty. Mine is Hank.”

  “Thanks for taking me to Atlanta, Hank.”

  He grunted noncommittally, and again I felt a shiver of apprehension. I leaned back in my seat and recited a spell for protection in my head while I looked out the window. I hadn’t really paid attention to protective magic in school, and I kept forgetting the words to the spell, but I hoped it would be enough to keep me safe. I started to doze midway through the spell, and we had almost made it to Atlanta when all hell broke loose.

  I was dreaming in red again. I stood in a rich red room that smelled like roses and something rancid. The room was vast and empty, but I had the sensation of eyes watching my every movement. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab me from behind.

  I woke from the dream to realize the sensation of being grabbed was very real. The truck was stopped on the shoulder of the road, and there weren’t any cars passing us. It must have been really early in the morning, if the highway was empty. Still disoriented from my dream, I twisted in my seat only to realize that Hank was pressed up against me, his meaty hands gripping my biceps. If I’d had any doubt what was happening, his next words confirmed it.

  “Glad you’re awake, girly. It’ll be more lively.”

  The truck smelled like sweat and cigarettes, and I fought back the urge to gag. I twisted my arms, but Hank only held on tighter. His breath was warm on the back of my neck, and he pulled me across the bench until he was pressed against my back. Suddenly, I wasn’t just frightened. I was furious. How dare he? Just because I was traveling alone, what made him think he had the right to do whatever he wanted to me?

  With strength I didn’t know I had, I wrenched out of his grip and thrust my hands against his chest. He made a grab for my hands, and just as his fingers closed on mine, I pushed again, barely noticing the red sparks that covered my arms.

  Hank and the truck flipped to the left, the sound of metal on gravel like an explosion. I clutched the door handle so I wouldn’t fall into him. He growled, confused, and I pushed the air in front of me again with my free hand. The trucker slammed against the driver’s-side door, which was now parallel to the ground. His eyes were bleary with shock. He wasn’t unconscious, though, just stunned, and I knew I had to move fast.

  Adrenaline coursing through me, I pushed against the passenger door. It wouldn’t budge, but the window was down, so I tried to lift myself out of the cab. A hand grabbed my foot and I kicked out wildly. Grabbing my backpack, I shimmied out the window. Without any thought other than escape, I flung myself to the ground feet first.

  The drop from the truck winded me, but I didn’t let the pain in my ankles slow my pace. I ran away from the deserted road into the brushy area along the shoulder. I didn’t hear anything behind me, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I didn’t slow down, dodging around trees and garbage, propelling myself farther away from the road. I ran until I felt like I was going to burst, and then I sank to my knees beneath a shrub. There wasn’t time to get to Atlanta, and I hoped the goddess I was seeking would understand my urgency.

  “Aphrodite, I need you here now!” I called out as I struggled to pull the athame from my backpack. Impulsively, I put the knife against my skin. If she was a keeper of Red magic like I thought, she would have some kind of affinity for blood. That was one thing all the Red goddesses I’d met had in common. I pushed the blade of the knife into my left palm, grunting with effort, until I dr
ew blood, and then I switched the knife to my wounded hand and sliced my other palm. It’s really hard to cut skin, and harder to cut yourself, but I finally did it. Ignoring the raw pain, I pressed my palms to the earth, panting, “Goddess, please, help me now!”

  I knelt there for a moment, frozen in fear, listening to the sounds of the night for any sign of Hank. For a moment, everything was still, and I worried that I’d made a terrible mistake.

  “Well, you don’t have to be so melodramatic about it.” The annoyed voice came from behind me, and I turned to face the first goddess I had ever summoned intentionally.

  She eyed me with a cynical twist to her mouth, but she didn’t speak. The goddess was beautiful; even in the middle of the night, her blond hair hung in perfect ringlets, and her red dress looked like she’d just come from a fancy party. What must I look like to her? I was drenched in sweat, my hands were bleeding, and dirt from the road clung to my skin. I pushed my hair out of my face and stood up.

  “It was you who helped me, right?”

  She sighed. “I left the instructions in your book, yes.” She sounded like she regretted it, and I scanned the path behind her, worried that the trucker would find me here and she would do nothing to save me.

  Aphrodite waved a hand. “He’s already forgotten everything.”

  I looked at her skeptically. “What about his truck being turned over?”

  She shrugged elegantly. “He thinks he fell asleep at the wheel. He’s going to take a vacation after he finishes this run.” She rubbed her hands together as if they were dirty. She sighed again, deeply, and squinted at me in disapproval.

  “Why did you come when I called if you don’t want to help me?” I hadn’t been racking up many politeness points with goddesses lately, but my ordeal in the truck had left me in no mood to mince words.

  “Who says I don’t want to help you, you silly thing?” Her laughter chimed through the dark night, both soothing and irritating at once.

  “Then help me. Please,” I added belatedly as her eyes narrowed slightly.

  “If you can learn manners, Darlena, I might do just that.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at me.

  I bowed my head, waiting for her to take the lead.

  “Do you understand Red magic yet, child?” Her voice held a trick, so I thought a moment before I spoke.

  “I think so. Red magic causes chaos. Death, destruction, and disasters all seem to be a part of it.”

  The goddess sighed, and I shot her a quick look. “There is so much more subtlety to it, child. Red is the magic of chaos, yes, but chaos is the greatest force in the world. Chaos is neither good nor bad; it simply is.” She paused to let me absorb this. “Do you realize the world was created in chaos?” I nodded, dim memories from mythology class tugging at my mind.

  “Chaos is higher than all else, and chaos magic is the magic of the cosmos. Red magic does not cause chaos, child, it governs it.”

  Her words sank into my mind, and suddenly I felt like I could see clearly.

  “So I don’t have to kill people to be a Red?”

  Aphrodite’s laugh tinkled like sleigh bells. “You don’t have to do anything to be a Red. You use chaos magic, for good or for ill. It’s not the power that causes death and destruction, but the Witch who wields that power.”

  I thought about that for a moment. “But what else can I do with it? Hecate seems to think I will kill more people, Pele asked for a good disaster, and Persephone said I’m not strong enough to handle it. What else is there to chaos?”

  “Love.” That one word echoed around me as if Aphrodite spoke with a thousand voices, and tingles raced up my spine. “Love is the greatest chaos of all.”

  She had a point. I’d never felt so out of control, so consumed by chaos, as when Justin and I had been dating. Still, I hesitated. “But what do I do?”

  “Choose me.”

  I stared at her in shock. Even though Mom seemed happy with her patron, I’d never considered making the same kind of vow. Working without a patron didn’t mean you couldn’t ask the gods for help from time to time, and that had always seemed preferable to the binding of choosing just one god to serve forever. I drew a shaky breath.

  “Why?”

  “Without a patron, you are at the mercy of the many forces of chaos. You have only met a few. There are others who make those goddess look like kind old aunts and grandmothers.” I swallowed in fear and she went on. “If you are mine, they cannot touch you. They cannot manipulate you.”

  She had a point, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to trade freedom for security. “But you would have control over me. I’d give up the fear of these unknown gods to become your slave. Tell me if I’ve got it wrong.”

  She glared at me. “There is always free will, Darlena. Unless you swear to be a slave, you will never be one. But yes, if you were mine you would obey me. It is a small price to pay for the protection I can offer you. And,” she pressed on, a glint in her eyes, “there is beauty in the service of love. More beauty than in the service of fire or madness.”

  I considered her words. Even though this might be the only way to gain protection from Hecate, I wasn’t sure it would work. Besides, something had been bothering me ever since I’d first read the golden words in my book. “Helen of Troy was sworn to you, wasn’t she?”

  “Yes.” Her smile slipped. “I was Helen’s patron.”

  “And she was a Red Witch, wasn’t she?”

  Aphrodite nodded, looking uncomfortable.

  I glared at her, amazed that she would try to convince me that serving her was safe. “What protection did you offer her? She started a war!”

  “Because she was beautiful and beloved. I made her famous. She is, after all, the face that launched a thousand ships.”

  I felt anger boiling up inside me. “Ships that came home empty! How many men died at Troy? How many people were murdered when the city was sacked? And,” I continued, ranting, “I don’t seem to remember Helen making it out of that situation the way she wanted! She ended up right back where she started. What a great deal.” I had been an idiot to think Aphrodite could help me. She was as dangerous as the other Red goddesses I’d met.

  “Helen lived. My protection spared her.” The goddess spat her words. “I led Aeneas onward to safety. He founded the greatest empire the world had ever seen, with my protection. Troy may have been a battle, but those who swore allegiance to me lived to see another day. You would do well to follow their example.”

  I looked at her flushed face and shaking hands, and I tried to reel my emotions back in. The last thing I wanted to do was make a goddess angry enough to attack me. I wouldn’t stand a chance, even with Red magic at my disposal. Besides, Aphrodite was the only help I’d received, and unless another god swooped out of the sky and offered to protect me, I had to make the best of what I could get. I drew a deep breath.

  “How do I know I’ll fare any better than Helen?”

  “You don’t. But I offer you the protection of my name and my power. Has anyone else offered even half as much? Be grateful, Darlena, that I did not just turn you over to Hecate immediately.”

  I licked my lips, deciding to do it. I couldn’t possibly be in any worse trouble than I was now, and maybe Aphrodite’s protection would allow me to go home. If Hecate was no longer hunting me, things could return to normal. “Are you still offering to be my patron?” She nodded. “Then tell me how to make my vow.”

  “First you must kneel. Now, here, before me.” Her hands spread wide in a gesture at the ground in front of her. I knelt gingerly, hoping I wouldn’t cut myself on any broken beer bottles or other roadside garbage.

  “Good. Now, you must speak these words: Aphrodite, Queen of Love, Daughter of the Sea, I promise you my loyalty and give to you freely this pledge. For all of this life, I will honor you above all others, and I will act in a manner which pleases you. May all the waters turn against me, may all the creatures of the air become my hunters, and may I never rest if
I break this trust with word or intent.”

  I repeated the speech haltingly, and I felt my pulse speed up when I spoke the words that would condemn me if I broke my vows. The goddess wasn’t playing around; I had to obey her now or suffer the consequences. Aphrodite placed her slender hands on the crown of my head and I looked down. My own arms and torso had begun to glow with a rosy light, and I sat, spellbound, after finishing the vow.

  My reverie was broken by the sound of slow, mocking applause. Hecate emerged from the shadows, clapping her hands loudly. I jumped to my feet, but the air around me solidified, holding me in place. The Queen of Witches moved forward until she was standing barely five inches from me, her owl eyes piercing my soul.

  “That was a lovely ceremony, my daughters. So touching! I haven’t witnessed such an impassioned Dedicancy for many years.” Her tone belied the kindness of her words, and I shivered despite myself. The pink glow that had surrounded me had faded, and the clearing was instead lit in the eerie gray glow radiating off of Hecate. “You are safe, Darlena. For now.” She leaned forward and whispered in her rasping voice, “But how many of those ships never left Troy?” With a cackle, she vanished.

  Aphrodite sent me home using magic, and the journey that had taken me over six hours took under a minute. It was like I blacked out: one minute I was standing with the goddess by the side of the road, and the next minute, I was there in the street in front of my house. I took a step and crumpled to the ground. I struggled to crawl up the walk, then pulled myself upright and drew a few deep breaths. Everything had happened so fast: the trucker, my Dedicancy to Aphrodite, and then Hecate’s threat. I wanted to crawl up to my bed and sleep for a month.

  The old door creaked painfully and I paused, clutching my keys in one hand to muffle any telltale clinks. I counted slowly to one hundred, my heart thundering in my ears. Nothing. No parents, no angry goddesses, nothing made any sound. Maybe the door had only sounded loud to me. I breathed a quick sigh of relief and stepped into the house.