Spirit of the Revolution

by Debbie Peterson

  Mathias offered his hand and said, “After all this nonsense, it looks as if you could use a bit of fresh air, shall we?”

  He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm, led her through the open doors and outside. The floor, decorated with scores of flowers and lights, remained empty. The feat took a great deal of effort on his part. While Jolena performed her duties as maid of honor, he visited each guest and made that very suggestion. They all complied.

  He wanted to make this evening just as perfect for her as he possibly could. Despite his earlier request inside the mine, she found it impossible to return to Scotland any before the end part of June, too late to do him any good. But his disappointment didn’t matter. He really didn’t need the forest or the waterfall behind the castle to tell her how very much he loved her.

  “Care to dance the night away with me, my love?” he asked as the first strains of “Greensleeves” wafted out of the reception hall. Her instant look of surprise mingled with delight made his efforts all worthwhile.

  “I would love to dance with you.” The miracle of the mine had yet to evaporate completely. She could still feel a trace of Mathias’s body when he held her.

  Humor filled his eyes as he fused his gaze to hers. “You look exceptionally lovely this evening, Jolena. I must confess it truly surprises me that someone hasn’t whisked you away and made you his wife by now. Although, I’m sure countless numbers have tried.”

  She giggled, but at the same time, managed a shrug. “I suppose there may have been one or two along the way.”

  “Did you find them all so very distasteful then?”

  A breath of laughter escaped as she dropped her head close to his chest. “No, Mathias, no one on this earth, past, present or future, could ever take the place you already have in my heart. Didn’t you know? Haven’t you guessed? You’re the man I’ve waited my whole life to find.”

  He held her all the tighter. “And I have waited for you all of mine. I love you Jolena Leigh Michaelsson, from the very depths of my soul. No matter what comes—no matter what happens in the future, somewhere in your heart, you must always remember that,” he whispered.

  The intensity, with which he spoke the words, drew Jo’s gaze upward. Something entered his eyes then that—

  The desire to understand the expression abruptly ended as Mathias lowered his lips to hers. As they touched, an exquisite electrical shock filled her entire being, beginning somewhere in the pit of her stomach. The current spewed forth in fluid warmth, which would rival any volcano eruption known to mankind. The heat encompassed her soul in every direction at once. Not even in her dreams did she experience such a tender, passionate kiss. She held completely still so the kiss could linger for as long as he willed it so.

  Finally, he broke free and captured her gaze. She shook her head in wonder. “Oh, Mathias, I never believed that I could feel such—” She stopped as if searching for words.

  He chuckled softly. “Just shut up, Jolena, we can talk later,” he said as he once again sought her lips.

  He didn’t need to ask her twice.

  Chapter 30

  “Could I talk to you for a minute, Jolena? I don’t mean to interrupt you, but it’s getting late, and I need to talk to you before you go to bed,” Jedediah said.

  “Of course. I just finished practicing, anyway.” Jo could see from his expression alone that he needed to tell her something important. Something he found difficult to say. She put her violin away and sat down in one of the leather chairs. “Why don’t you sit beside me?” She patted the empty chair.

  Jedediah simply nodded and sat down. He lifted a hand to his mouth and gave it a rub. Dakota inched forward and looked up expectantly. He stroked the dog’s head and neck.

  “Jolena, I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me, and most especially for your help in solving our final mission. You put so much time and effort into helping us and you risked your life in order to get it done. You’ve given so much of yourself from the moment you entered this house and never once asked for anything in return. This house is bright and cheerful again, and you’ve made us feel as if we’re all part of your family.”

  “You are part of my family, Jedediah. And because we’re family, you don’t have to thank me for anything.” Jo stopped short as Jed held up a hand to halt her words.

  “Yes, I do—because you see—because this is my last opportunity to do so, at least for a while, that is.”

  She could see he had trouble meeting her gaze, and it alarmed her. “Your last opportunity?” Jo shook her head. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Finally, Jedediah looked up and met her gaze head on. “Never once in my life, have I run away from anything because of the difficulty of the task, and I don’t want to start now. So, I’ll just come right out and say what I have to say.”

  Jo placed her hand lightly on top of his. “You know you can tell me anything, Jedediah. I’ll understand, I promise.”

  “Thank you, because I’m going to need your understanding. I’ve come to tell you… You see, I think I’m going to go ahead and take that next step. I’m…I’m finally ready to let go of my life here and get on with whatever comes next.” He paused and peered into her eyes as if gauging her reaction.

  At once Jo’s throat constricted while a lump formed and the formation of tears stung her eyes. The day she dreaded finally arrived. Common sense told her the boys shouldn’t remain earthbound indefinitely, and she didn’t want them to stay behind once she met her demise. But did he have to go right now? She found she could only nod in response to his words.

  “The spirit pouch I gave you for Christmas,” he said. “I never did give you all of the details surrounding it, and I would like to share a little bit more about that with you now. The girl, Runs-Like-a-Deer, as her people called her, gave me the pouch. After she converted to Christianity, my father gave her the name of Rachel. She’s very pretty, Jolena, just like you. And just like you, she’s gentle and kind to everyone she meets. To this day, she keeps a special place in my heart. I’ve never said this to anyone else, but I think—I think maybe I might’ve married her, if she didn’t die of the yellow fever, and of course, if I didn’t die myself.

  “I’m telling you this because ever since I gave you the pouch, I’ve seen her from time to time. I think it’s because I finally let go of the past and faced myself forward. Every now and again, I look up, and I can see her gazing at me with this beautiful smile. She beckons me to join her, and I want to go where she is. I didn’t consider it before, because we needed to solve the details of our final mission. We wanted to know and to understand what we left undone and whether or not dying for it mattered.

  “The mystery is solved now and I’ve begun to think—well, Mathias has you, and he won’t need me around as much anymore. I don’t know what’s there on the other side, and I don’t know if once you cross over, you can ever come back to say hello. But if I can come back from time to time—then I will, I promise.

  “However, if for some reason I can’t, please know, Jolena, I will always keep you in my thoughts and the love for you in my heart until such time as we meet again,” he said.

  Tears streamed down Jo’s cheeks. She couldn’t stop them. “When do you think—you might go?” she asked passed the lump in her throat.

  “Soon,” he said, nodding more as if to himself than to her. “My next opportunity is coming up in a while, and when it comes, I need to take it.”

  “I love you, Jed, and—and even though I’ll miss you, please know, I wish you all the happiness with Rachel—” Jo presented a small smile through her tears.”

  Sensing she needed some time to reconcile his unexpected announcement, Jed kissed her on the cheek and disappeared. She remained in the chair long after he vacated the room. The tears continued falling as she considered everything he said, many times over. What did he mean by “the next opportunity”? For whatever reason, she concluded that a ghost could leave at will. Yet, he said it would
come in “a while.” How much time encompassed a while? As she extended a hand toward the box of tissue, the desk calendar caught her eye. Her hand hung mid-air as she locked onto the date. June fifteenth screamed at her from off the page as if trying to grasp her attention. Come tomorrow morning, Mathias and her boys would pass the anniversary of their death.

  That knowledge triggered a memory of something she read long ago. She read it on one of the many ghostly Web sites Carolyn sent her shortly after she met Mathias. One particular site presented theories about the various types of haunting. She got up from her seat, circled behind the desk, sat down, and turned on the computer. Minutes later, she opened her bookmarked file of ghost sites.

  “Come on, Jo,” she murmured as she scrolled down the alphabetical list of names. “Which one is it?” Finding the right one took forever, but finally, she found the one she sought. She spied the button marked Residual Haunting and clicked.

  “We define ‘Residual Haunting’ as photographic scenes from the past. Scenes that play repeatedly, nothing deviating from the original occurrence. The ghosts are not aware of any changes to the location or the presence of mortals. There are those who believe such a haunting is an imprint in time, or for lack of a better explanation, ‘films’ left hanging in the very place and atmosphere in which they occurred. These traumatic events play repeatedly, most often on the anniversary of its occurrence though evidence also suggests they can occur more frequently.

  Recent findings propose an alternative theory for such occurrences. It is believed by some in the paranormal field of science, ghosts who have chosen to remain behind, are given yet another opportunity to escape this earthly sphere, once the event of their death is replayed in full on the anniversary it transpired. That they are, in fact, aware of their surroundings and everyone in it, be they mortal or spirit. In a sense, they exist in two planes, simultaneously. They can see their environment as it was and as it is. Yet, they focus on the former. Evidence reveals that—”

  “Are you all right?” asked Mathias, as he suddenly appeared, standing at her side.

  Jo jumped at the sound of his voice and immediately turned off the screen. Yet, as she turned and gazed into his eyes, she could see his concern. She bit down on her lips and shook her head.

  As she vacated her seat, she folded her arms against her chest and walked toward the painting. She stopped in front of the settee and absorbed every detail of the scene Brady O’Connor painted.

  Come tomorrow, Jedediah would leave her with precious memories, a few amazing pictures, his treasured spirit pouch, and this painting. Sadness washed over her anew.

  “I just didn’t expect it.” She wiped away the tears with the palm of her hand. “I’m sorry. I know this is silly. I’m happy, truly happy Jedediah is reuniting with the woman he loves. He deserves to find happiness with Rachel. Yet, I’m going to miss having him around.” She sniffed. At once Mathias stood behind her. She could feel him.

  “I know,” he said.

  He wrapped his arms around her and drew her close to his heart. And it occurred to her then that she could feel him as she did inside the mine. She wouldn’t question the gift, for right now she needed the comfort he offered. After a moment, he led her to the settee, and once they sat down, he settled her against his chest. Comfort and warmth enveloped her as her thoughts wandered to Jedediah and the experience he would have come the morning.

  As a thousand questions tangled themselves up inside her mind she finally said, “I have so many things I need to ask and I’ve yet to tell you everything that happened inside the mine. I have questions about that incident and I hope you can answer some of them for me as perhaps you experienced something similar.”

  A very long silence followed the request, and just as she drew away to discover the reason, he kissed the top of her head.

  “It’s very late, Jolena. You can hardly keep your eyes open now. Why don’t we wait until the morning? Perhaps we can go for a ride and we’ll talk about everything you want to talk about then, all right?”

  Jo’s eyelids grew heavier as each second ticked off the clock. Mathias’s suggestion seemed reasonable enough, and she nodded in agreement. She could ask him about his reluctance to answer her questions tomorrow. “Okay, just don’t keep me waiting—”

  Once in bed, dreams overtook all sense of logic and reason. Strange dreams. She walked outside in the darkness of night, in her pajamas and barefoot, heading toward the barn. Nothing seemed more important at that moment, than brushing Lacy. But why, she couldn’t say. She stopped at the barn doors and picked up her grooming bag before going inside. Lacy nickered in greeting. She scooped up a handful of oats and let her eat them from her hand. Afterward, she took hold of the brush.

  “Hello, sweetheart,” she said, as she began grooming her coat. Lacy nuzzled her head against her chest in return. Suddenly then and without warning, William and Alex appeared in the stall next to Lacy’s. She couldn’t imagine why they would do such a bizarre thing. Why did they choose to appear in Beadurinc’s stall? And—where did Beadurinc go?

  “Oh! You scared me there for a minute. What are you doing out here? Did you come looking for me?” she asked as she looked from one to the other.

  They shot each other a look of dread. Once again, she could feel her throat tighten in anticipation of their words. She lowered her hand, yet still clung to the brush she held.

  “I have to tell you, that for all the world, you look just like Jedediah did when he told me goodbye,” she said.

  William cast his eyes downward and nodded. “We’re finding it’s not an easy thing to say, nor an easy decision to make,” he admitted. “In point of fact, we’ve just now made the decision, or we would’ve told you in person, just as Jedediah did. But the time for that is past, I’m afraid.”

  A sorrowful smile tugged at Alexander’s mouth as he placed a hand against her cheek. “You see, dear friend, here of late we’ve come to feel we’ve accomplished all we need to accomplish. We’ve seen everything we need to see. There’s no longer a reason or purpose for us to remain on this side.”

  “You know, since you’ve graced this household with your presence, we haven’t even had the desire to do any serious haunting. So what’s left for a self-respecting ghost to do, huh?” asked William, in a sweet attempt to tease.

  Jo nodded because she understood their feelings on the matter. Although she tried very hard not to cry, the tears fell anyway.

  “Seriously, Jolena,” William said as he brushed away the first of her tears. “We wouldn’t have arrived at this moment, if not for you. We can’t thank you enough for giving us this sense of freedom. At long last, we’re ready to join our families and take on whatever comes next.”

  First Jedediah, now William, and Alex. Did Sam lurk somewhere in the shadows waiting to pounce? If so, her heart just might break.

  Escape!

  The word swirled around inside her mind.

  Run away—

  “Jolena—”

  They called to her repeatedly, but she needed to escape this pain—run away from it. How could she bear it? All at once, she clung to Lacy’s neck and without aid of bridle or bareback pad, raced for the hills, clinging to her mane. The hills morphed into the beach she shared with Mathias and she turned her mount toward the curve, knowing he’d be there. Right now, she needed him. She needed his arms around her. She needed his strength and his comfort. Nothing else mattered.

  He stood waiting for her by the rock. As she approached him, she slid off Lacy’s back and ran toward him. At once, he gathered her into his arms, and she clung to him with all the fierceness she could muster.

  “Mathias,” she cried. “Everyone is leaving me, and it just hurts.”

  “I know, shh—don’t cry,” he whispered into her ear. “I promise you, everything is going to be all right, you’ll see.” His lips crashed down on hers. Within those kisses, she sensed not only the power of his love, but also a feeling of—of—desperation! And then, as he dr
ew away, she stepped back. That same desperation filled his eyes. The now familiar look of intense pain and suffering marred his features. What did that mean? She struggled to make sense of it.

  Understanding arrived very slowly. No, her heart screamed. No, surely not. He wouldn’t leave her. He wouldn’t. He promised. She shook her head as her hands flew to her face, covering her mouth. A pitiful wail escaped her lips. She squeezed her eyes shut.

  “No! You promised,” she choked out the words as the tears began anew. “You promised to stay with me forever. Oh, you promised…”

  “Circumstances beyond my control negated that promise,” he murmured as his arms encircled her waist, needing to feel her in his arms, needing to feel her body close to his one last time. She backed away from his embrace and shook her head. “Circumstances? What circumstances would nullify your promise? I need you, Mathias. Don’t you understand? I love you so much it hurts, and if you leave me, you’ll leave behind a pain that will never go away. Not ever.”

  Mathias cursed under his breath and then shook his head. “No, you’ll find someone else, and you’ll love him and he’ll love you. How could he help it?” His hand grazed the length of her cheek. “You’re so very beautiful, inside and out. He’ll be so lucky to have you and to share your life. Together you’ll raise a houseful of kids and all the while, you’ll play your violin for those who need to hear it. You’ll live life as intended.”

  “You’re wrong.” She shook her head and lifted her chin in defiance. “I will never love anyone but you. You can’t force that to happen just because you say so. Yes, you can leave me, but I will never give my heart to anyone else. Don’t you understand? You have already filled every corner of my heart and every particle of my soul. There’s no room, or desire for anyone else. If you leave me, you’ll leave only a mere shadow in your wake, and I’ll live out the rest of my days in pain and sorrow. The music inside my soul will die!”