“I’m here. I’m here for as long as you need me . . . remember that time I brought you home late and Roy made us wash his car as punishment? I was so mad at my mom for agreeing with him. Though seeing you soaking wet was pretty erotic for a seventeen-year-old.”
Feeling Tyler’s warm breath spraying across her ear, she fought the blackness. She wanted to go where Tyler’s voice could take her. Good memories. Happier times. A place that if she ever got the chance to go again, she’d do whatever it took to accept it openly.
However, it was the smell of smoldering plastic mixed with the tartness of gun powder that won the struggle in her head. The blistering patches of black intermingled with the streaks of red running down Rollins’s face were all she could think about. The long minutes of seeing his mangled body pinned helplessly under the truck made time feel as if it had stalled. She cried, screaming out for help, all the while thinking it was too late. Smearing the grime around his face, trying to get a clearer picture of what she was dealing with, she finally saw Rollins’s eyes move and in that moment a gush of relief came. She really thought it was going to be okay.
It wasn’t.
His physical injuries healed. The charred skin on his face was restored to barely a blemish. The dislocated shoulder was put back in place. The broken leg made a full recovery. But it wasn’t the physical wounds that haunted her. They were merely a symbol for the damages she couldn’t see. Rollins lived. At least he woke up and breathed air in each day. But she wasn’t sure one was really alive if they did little more than open their eyes. His last few months in the army had been painful. Knowing he was getting out, he didn’t bother to show up for work. Most days when she visited he hadn’t showered or bathed and she could usually tell by the volume of beer bottles lying around how his day had gone. He isolated himself in his bedroom, staring off at the television, but she was sure he never absorbed anything he saw. He might have woken up each day, but he wasn’t really there. At least, not as the man he was before Afghanistan.
Finally pulling out of the darkness, she sank further into Tyler’s arms, burying her head deeper into his side. She wasn’t shaking, nor was she thinking about the train that was now gone. She thought solely of Rollins and what he’d become.
Swallowing back a breath to level the oxygen she’d been denying the rest of her body, she swiped back the hair that had fallen around her face. There weren’t any tears to dry, although she felt the pressure of them building behind her lids. She blinked several times to relieve the heaviness, and after a few seconds, with confidence that the dam wouldn’t unleash, she looked up. Tyler reminded her of the boy he was years ago: gentle and caring, yet full of a powerful desire that knew exactly how to drive her crazy.
“Thank you,” she said, clearing her throat.
“I’m proud of you,” he whispered against her forehead before pressing his lips to her skin.
Her insides sizzled as his warm breath pulled her in again. As tempted as she was to reach up and return the kiss, she didn’t want to use Tyler as a distraction from the guilt of Rollins. Besides, she was ready to address the root of their past problems before she lost the courage to do so.
“I was scared, Tyler.” A soft cry came as she spoke the words that were nearly harder to admit than anything she’d ever done in her life. “I was barely twenty-one and scared to death. I know you’re going to say that doesn’t sound like me, but it was. I didn’t want to go over there. I was so afraid and I didn’t know how to tell you that.”
“I was scared too.” He brushed another kiss against the side of her face.
“I know you were. Which only made it worse. I worried about you worrying about me. If that makes any sense. I couldn’t handle the idea of not ever seeing you, Roy, or my mom again. I didn’t purposely set out to cause trouble for us. I just know every time we talked, it got harder and harder hanging up because it meant one less day I might have. It was easier to say goodbye when I was angry.”
“Sera.” Tyler took her face in his hands.
She tried to look away. She didn’t want to see the gentleness pouring out of his eyes. She’d hurt him, years ago, and again over the past few days. It seemed to be a cycle she couldn’t break and she didn’t deserve his empathy. “Please don’t make this easier for me.”
He pulled her face back up to him, rubbing away the moisture collecting in the corners of her eyes. “What’s wrong with things being easy?”
She heaved in a deep breath, unable to come up with a practical answer. There was nothing wrong with it; it was just something she didn’t feel like she deserved at the moment. Opening her mouth to say so, her words were smothered away when Tyler’s lips found hers. The kiss was slow, fulfilling, and every bit as satisfying as she remembered.
When it ended, they both pulled back, staring at each other. The line she’d been so hesitant to cross was gone. Turning back and trying to hide from her feelings would only tarnish the progress she and Tyler had made in putting the past behind them. It would also do nothing but leave her with regret and what-ifs later on. She didn’t want to confuse or hurt him any more than she already had, though. “I don’t know what I can give you right now.”
Tyler’s eyes never wavered when he responded back. “I’m not asking you to give me anything. I just want the chance to get back what was meant to be mine.”
Chapter 14
Sera sat in the porch swing, enjoying another well-rested night of sleep. She was becoming spoiled when it came to sharing a bed with Tyler, even if there wasn’t anything sexual going on. Something about him being there brought her comfort—let her know she wasn’t fighting this on her own. And somehow that made the fight less of a struggle.
She watched as he washed his truck, laughing to herself. The truck was so ridiculously big, even for a man his size, he had to stretch and tiptoe to reach many areas. She wasn’t sure what the oversized load was trying to make up for. It had nothing to do with his ego or the lack of anything down below, because he was perfect where both of those were concerned. Maybe it had something to do with pride. Like he said, he didn’t get to enjoy much of anything he’d worked for, except this truck.
He was babying it today. He’d already vigorously scrubbed the tires, leaving the white wheels beaming as brightly as his teeth when he flashed a grin. She hated to tell him that as soon as he drove ten feet, the dust from the gravel would cover it right back over, but then she supposed that wasn’t important. He was relaxed and seemed to enjoy what he was doing and that was all that mattered. Deciding that if he didn’t have help, he’d be at it all day, she went to get an extra sponge.
The water was cool as she dipped her hand into the bucket, and then began working the soapy mess in circles around the fender. Sliding her gaze sideways, she watched the muscles in his arms tighten as he moved around beside her. “I know why you’re washing your truck today.”
Tyler squatted, swiping his hand from side to side on the lower portion. “Because it’s a pretty day and it needs a good cleaning.”
“No, because of what you said last night.”
He stopped what he was doing, standing up straight. “What did I say?”
The front of his shirt was damp with suds. Dark rings emphasized his chest underneath. “You were thinking about us washing Roy’s car.”
A curl of pleased recognition fanned his lips. “So you were listening to me?”
She’d heard part of it, anyway. Unable to remember when she stopped hearing Tyler’s voice and began seeing Rollins’s face, she wasn’t sure she’d absorbed it all. She sure hoped she hadn’t missed him recounting what their punishment for coming home late had accomplished. “I remembered you starting the story,” she answered.
Going back to his task, he dipped his sponge back in the water and began scrubbing another area. “Is that what you were thinking about while you were sitting on the porch staring at me?” He threw her a wishful grin.
Yes, she was; every clear detail. Their first time together
wasn’t a painful memory. Well, there was a little discomfort, but she much preferred to think of it as a beautifully raw act. Magical came to mind, because the ending had felt very magical, but magic wasn’t real and the memory of what it felt like for Tyler to press into her with ease for the first time was very real. Gentle and understanding when she asked him to take it slower, she couldn’t imagine sharing that experience with anyone else.
“I was,” she admitted, the fluttering low in her belly back. It was the reason she’d gotten up in the first place, needing something to distract her from making love to Tyler in her head. And what did she do? Start talking to him about it. Smooth, Sera, smooth.
“So you remember this . . . ”
The cold jetted spray to her face was so unexpected she had no words at first, but then let out, “That was cold,” with a giggle before scurrying to retaliate. She didn’t even make it to the bucket before he grabbed her hands, clutching them behind her back.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” he said.
She twisted, trying to shrug out of his grasp. He tightened his hold, trapping her with his arms.
“You remember where this got you before, don’t you?” he asked with a smirk. She definitely remembered: wet from the inside out. “Let go!” she yelled. The twisting and turning did her no good. He overpowered her easily.
Tyler chuckled with pleasure. Sera wriggled her hips back and forth, trying to bend out of his grip. Her face, although strung with intent, teased with a sparkle. She asked him to release her, all the while laughing as she did. The sound only encouraged him to pull her tighter, until her back was planked up against the door of his truck. Stepping in, he trapped her. With nowhere to go, her gaze soared up to meet his.
The shock of the cold water might be able to explain the tips of her nipples straining through her shirt, but she had no defense for the wanton look blazing out of her eyes. His hands fell around her backside and even in the loosened grip, she didn’t move. He picked her up, not needing to coax her legs around his waist. Her arms swung around his neck and suddenly they were living in the past. Eight years prior with raging hormones.
The ridge in his shorts jolted to attention. Stretching, it implored to plunge into the apex of her thighs, already feeling the warm encompass it would offer. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, nudging in deeper.
Her breath heavy, Sera clung to Tyler’s shoulder, thankful for the support he and the pickup provided. Her calves were lithe—she couldn’t have stood if she wanted to—but her hips were taut with energy. She cupped the hardness pressed firmly against her thin shorts. The flexing and writhing came automatically. His body had an effect on her she couldn’t control. Needing more, she surrendered. Lips parted, she tilted her face up and took his mouth. It was if he was waiting for it. He wanted her permission to move forward, but from the moment their tongues met, he took back over control. Dipping and teasing, leaving her panting for air every time his mouth moved down to her neck, nibbling at the sensitive area on her shoulder. His hands toyed with the swells rising through her shirt. She gasped. He moaned. And then the sound of a car door made them jump out of their sexual trance.
“Dammit,” Tyler said under his breath.
She felt his hard point slide up her stomach coming to a rest just below her breastbone as he let her glide to her feet. They’d been so engrossed in their tryst they hadn’t heard the car coming up the drive.
Legs quivering, she gained her bearings, letting Tyler tend to the visitor—or visitors, she assumed, when she heard several immature giggles all at once.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but my mom said she thought you were staying here and we were wondering if you would sign our CDs.”
Sera gave the squeaky-voiced teenage girl credit for her bravery. She was also thankful that the carload had interrupted when they had. A few more minutes and clothes would have been flying in the front yard. Suddenly feeling a chill from the dampness clinging to her body, she stepped out around the truck, gave Tyler a wave, and left him with his adolescent fans.
• • •
Not once since he’d started singing had Tyler not wanted to stop what he was doing to sign a few autographs. That was, until the carload of teenagers interrupted his and Sera’s rendezvous. Annoyed to the point of anger, his first reaction had been to pick up a rock and chuck it their way, hoping they’d take the hint and disappear. However, they weren’t skittish animals who would run off with the gesture. They were humans. Young humans, who had spent their money—or maybe their parents’ money, considering how young they were—on his album. No, they shouldn’t have invaded his privacy, but after fifteen minutes spent taking pictures and signing everything from their shirts, hats, and CD covers, he was glad they had.
He and Sera had been on the verge of losing total control. Not that he cared, except he didn’t have condoms and had no idea if Sera was still on the pill, and he was certain that neither would have mattered if it came to that point. He would have taken her right then. And they didn’t need a little baby Creech added into this already tangled mess. So instead of going in and picking up where they left off, when his company left, he went back to washing his truck.
But an hour later, as he put up his bucket and went inside, he could still taste every sweet twirl of her tongue, could feel every parting welcome of her hips. The desire to make love to her was consuming. Every time he looked at or touched her, he felt his groin stiffen and while he was ready, he wasn’t sure she was. Her body might have thought so, but her mind was still trying to process what was happening between them and the last thing he wanted her to have was regrets.
She was sitting on the couch with her phone to her ear when he went inside. He got a drink, then, seeing she was still in the same position, although not talking and just listening, he went to get cleaned up. She hadn’t moved when he returned. Her mouth didn’t look like it had even opened in the half hour that he’d been gone. She wasn’t mad or happy. She looked bored more than anything. The roll of her eyes as he went to the kitchen confirmed his suspicions.
Grabbing a pizza from the freezer, he was opening the box when she came in after finishing her call.
“How is Sylvia?” he asked, knowing she was talking to her mom.
“Good,” she answered, hopping up on the countertop next to the stove.
“Good as in good or good as in the same?”
“Actually, she’s doing all right. Same man for over a year now and she’s still working in the office at the insurance company.”
“That is good.” He popped the pizza in the oven, then went to stand between her legs. Holding onto her waist, he said, “I’m beat.”
“Those girls wear you out?” she asked, pressing her hands to his cheeks, massaging the skin underneath his eyes.
The warmth from her palms had him humming with need again. He tried distracting the reaction by focusing on the conversation. “There was a guy too, just so you know.” He tilted his head down, teasing her with a curl of his lips.
“I’m not jealous of some teenagers,” she said.
“No?”
“Nope.” She shook her head, smiling.
“Good,” he recounted, opening the oven door to check inside. When he glanced back up, he caught a distant look on her face. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You got that look.”
“What kind of look is that?”
She wrinkled her nose up in this cute little way that had him moving to stand between her legs again. “The kind that usually means something’s wrong.” Except she wasn’t acting like anything was amiss—her thighs trapped him, her core pressing against the bulk of him.
“I was just thinking that I never thanked you for the tickets.”
If her arms weren’t clasped around his neck, he probably would have stepped back. The mentioning of the one time he’d reached out to try to make right of the past cut to him sharply. Struggling to remain unnerved, he dropped his gaze to her lap. “
Did you go?”
• • •
The apprehension of where their conversation might lead marred Tyler’s face. Sera disliked the way he automatically assumed they’d float back into disharmony whenever something of their past was mentioned, but that honestly hadn’t been her plan. She was trying to do right for once and the tickets had been weighing on her for a while. “I didn’t, but I should have at least sent a thank-you note or something.”
He stepped out of her arms to check the pizza, but didn’t return when he saw it still had a few minutes to go. She already felt a loss, and wanted him back. The reaction was completely crazy, being that they were still relatively new to what was going on between them, but since the mood was set, she decided to delve further. “Why did you send them?”
He leaned against the counter, staring down at the floor. “I was in Texas. You were in Texas. It seemed like a good idea.”
He shrugged as if it weren’t a big deal, but it was. Whether it was what happened outside earlier or the ease of which they’d fallen back into acting like a couple, she suddenly felt as if something needed to be said or asked. She just wasn’t sure what.
Letting him tend to their dinner, she didn’t speak again until he was almost done slicing the pizza. “I couldn’t go.” Giving her a quick glance, he grabbed two plates, seeming to know what she was talking about. “I had just gotten back and I was a mess. I couldn’t have dealt with you then.”
Putting a piece on each plate, he pushed one toward her, then took his stance back up against the counter, this time crossing his ankles and arms. His forehead scrunched up in concern, and she knew when he opened his mouth, nothing good was going to come out.
“Maybe if you had dealt with me then, or even taken my call three years ago, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”
Nope, definitely not what she wanted to discuss, but at least they weren’t yelling, although the somber tone in Tyler’s voice made her heart ache. “For the record, I didn’t ignore your call. I had to report to formation. By the time it was over, you’d already left the voicemail.”
Nashville Nights Page 54