by Marina Adair
“Thanks for waiting, you can go home. It’s late.”
“You sure? I can stay,” Loraine offered and Ali shrugged. This was becoming old hat for her. She’d spent more nights sleeping in a hospital chair than she cared to admit.
“I got this.”
With a final thanks, and a hug that nearly did her in, Ali walked into her dad’s room and felt her heart catch painfully. The biggest man in her life seemed small enough to be swallowed whole by the hospital bed. And something about seeing her father, her hero, hooked up to an IV, oxygen, the works, made her want to cry. Just give in and have a long, hard cry.
Damn it, they’d worked so hard not to get back to this place.
Five days.
Not even a full week was all it took for everything to come crashing down, and for her dad to end up back in the hospital.
Mild didn’t lessen the worry. He’d had a heart attack.
At least this time he hadn’t been alone.
Marty opened his eyes, and even though she knew he was tired, he flashed her a big, loving smile. “Hey, honey. You’re dressed for a sleepover.”
He patted the side of the bed, as if they were back home and Ali was naive enough to believe that parents could make bad things disappear. Ali was playing out the worst-case scenario even as she padded over and crawled in.
“You’re dressed for the waltz,” she said, resting her head against his chest.
“Tonight was tango,” he said, his voice altered by the oxygen mask on his nose. “And you should have seen my toe flicks.”
Ali tilted her head up to look at her dad. “I bet all the ladies were wanting to dance with you.”
“I couldn’t fend them off, even if I tried.” He waggled a brow. “But that Loraine kept them at bay.”
“I bet she did,” Ali said, wondering when Marty was going to realize that Loraine wanted his toe flicks all to herself. “I bet she would have told you to take it easy, had you explained up front that you’d been out on the water all day.”
Marty gave a guilty smile. “I wasn’t on the water all day, and I didn’t leave the shoreline.”
He also must have left the extra water bottles and high protein lunch at home. “How about yesterday or any other day this week?”
Marty studied the television, which was playing a Keeping Up with the Kardashians marathon. “I went out far enough to fish, but I had a sitter with me.”
“And did you explain to your sitter, who doesn’t know jack shit about sailing, what to do if you had another diabetic attack?” Ali asked.
“I was teaching her how to deep-sea fish, so she could impress Jamie on their honeymoon,” Marty said, as if that made everything okay.
“She shouldn’t have to impress him, they’re getting married,” Ali said, her voice thin and shaking. “And you shouldn’t have to impress her either. Love doesn’t work that way. Just like you said love doesn’t keep score, love can’t be earned. It just is.” She sat up so she could face him. “Either he loves her or he doesn’t. Knowing how to deep-sea fish or do a toe flick doesn’t change that. And it never will.”
When Ali had finished, she realized that she was standing and she was so close to tears, her voice was hoarse. Her hands were shaking and her chest was a tangle of knots, which kept pulling tighter and tighter, making her wonder if that was what her dad had felt before he hit the boat’s dock.
Before Loraine had called 911.
“Maybe not. But at least I know that it has nothing to do with me,” Marty finally said. “People don’t all bloom at the same time. Some people are late bloomers in life, and others in love. Some struggle with both. I might struggle with the life part of the equation, but I know how to love.”
“I know,” Ali whispered, not even wanting to imagine what her life would be like if she lost that. “It’s a gift I have felt every day from you. Which is why I hate seeing people take advantage of that.”
“People can’t take advantage of what I offer freely.” Marty patted the bed, and when Ali sat, he took her hand in his. It felt frail and cold, but steady. “You came into the world knowing who you were, your sister is still figuring it out. But I’m going to love her until she learns how to love herself. That’s my job and my privilege as her father. Just like it will be my great privilege to love you, even though you sit me on the sidelines because you have everything already figured out.”
“I’m single, spend my weekends with my dad, and still play with my old tools,” she choked out. “Trust me, Dad, the struggle is real.”
“Your dad seems like a righteous guy, and last I heard, you were canoodling with the town’s hottest catch.”
“Who says canoodling?” she whispered, resting back against the headboard.
With a watery grin, Marty put his arms around her and pulled her into his side. “The only thing you struggle with, honey, is waiting for the rest of the world to catch up to your plan. But they will catch up, I promise.”
Ali hoped that this was one promise that would come true, because she was pretty sure she’d been Hawked—and there was no coming back for her this time.
* * *
It was three in the morning by the time Hawk made it to Ali’s apartment. He’d snatched his old jersey, as promised, and that thirty-year-old bottle of Scotch he’d been saving. It was warm inside her place, and Hawk smiled, hoping Ali had kicked off the covers in her sleep and was in nothing but those panties.
Quietly he made his way down the hallway to find the sheets tossed back, just how he’d imagined. But the bed was alarmingly short on EAT ME panties, and his sleepover buddy. That’s when Hawk saw the scribbled note on the nightstand, and he knew exactly where Ali was.
That he wasn’t there with her, and that she had to go there alone, brought back a sense of helplessness that he hadn’t felt since his career ended.
He grabbed a small tote and filled it with things he thought might bring comfort, then headed to the hospital. The drive was a nightmare. The town had only three stoplights. He’d hit every one. Giving him more than enough time to wonder why she hadn’t called him.
He would have closed the fucking bar the second she had. He’d done it before, when Marty had his heart attack. But she hadn’t called.
The only reason he could come up with was, they were sexy friends. He could have clarified that the other day in his apartment, or even tonight on the phone, but somehow he’d stalled on giving them a title.
Sure, the town thought they were dating, and in reality they were. But he wanted a real conversation with her, about starting a real relationship, when he didn’t have to deal with his ex walking through his life and stirring up shit that didn’t need to be stirred. So, like an idiot, he’d decided to wait until after the wedding, when Bridget was gone and he had his town—and Ali—all to himself.
Only Ali was at the hospital and she hadn’t felt comfortable enough to call.
Jesus, he thought as he found out Marty’s room number and walked down the hallway, he hoped to God it wasn’t another heart attack.
But when he opened the door to the private room, all of his thoughts focused in on the person he’d been the most concerned about.
Ali.
She was huddled in a chair, a blanket wrapped around her feet, her eyes red and puffy as if she’d cried herself to sleep there. And she had, his gut told him. She’d taken care of Marty, and waited until the nurses were gone and he fell asleep. Then she silently dealt with her grief and fear—alone.
Well, she wasn’t alone anymore.
Hawk crouched down to look at her perfect face, amazed at how beautiful she’d become. She was cute when they’d been younger, but as a woman, she was stunning. Strong and sweet, and so damn amazing, his heart ached.
He tugged the blanket up over her shoulders and was about to sit down in the other chair when she opened her eyes. “He’s going to be okay.”
“I know.” Ali would make sure of it. He’d never met a fiercer person than Ali when it came to
her loved ones. But looking at the worry etched into her face, the big bags under her eyes, he wondered if she was going to be okay. “How are you holding up?”
“Fine.” And to prove she could handle everything life threw at her, she straightened and gave a big stretch.
Not buying it, Hawk carefully lifted her off the chair and took her seat, cradling her on his lap. Her arms went around his neck and she snuggled into him, pulling her legs in and holding on tight. Hawk pulled the blanket around them, noticing that she was in nothing but pajama shorts, a tank top—and slippers.
“How long are they going to keep him?” Hawk asked, stroking her back.
“I’m not sure. His hydration is back to normal and they’ve been monitoring his levels. They want to run a few more tests after he eats a good breakfast, then they might let him go home.”
Her arms tightened, but he didn’t mind. Having her in his arms allowed him to breathe for the first time since seeing that note on her nightstand. “Has he been waking up?”
She shook her head, her hair brushing his chin and getting tangled in his scruff. “After I got here, we had a talk, then he fell asleep and hasn’t woken up since. Either he hurts more than he’s letting on or trying to avoid another conversation.”
Hawk tipped Ali’s face up, and those sad, green pools swallowed him whole. He couldn’t make tonight disappear, but he could make everything from here on out better. “Let me take you home—”
“No.” She stood up. “I want to be here in case he wakes up or if they have any more questions. They might even release him early and I don’t want him wondering where I am.”
Like Ali wondered where her mom, and her sister, had gone. She’d had to watch while, one by one, the people she loved disappeared out of her life. And she was afraid to close her eyes, in case her dad vanished, too.
Hawk got her situated back in the chair and he went to talk to the nurse. A few minutes later he came back and squatted in front of her.
“They won’t be releasing him until after a final EKG, which is scheduled for two p.m., and will determine if he needs to stay another night.” At his words, her eyes closed with anguish. “The doctor has some nice drugs in that IV to ensure he won’t wake up until morning.”
“I know but—”
“Ali,” Hawk said, with gentle force. He took her hand. It was shaking—the adrenaline crash was hitting her hard, and in about thirty minutes, she would be down for the count. He wanted to get her home before then. “If he wakes up, the nurse assured me she will call my cell.”
“I don’t want to leave him.”
“You’re not leaving him, you’re getting a reboot so you can come back even stronger tomorrow.” He took the blanket off her lap and pulled her to a stand. “Plus, the nurse has a few more questions that you can answer on the way out.”
* * *
Ali was half asleep when they pulled into the parking lot. Guessing she’d feel more comfortable at her place, he took her hand and led her inside. He was about to ask if she was hungry, but she bypassed the kitchen and went straight to the bathroom.
And closed the door.
Hawk busied himself with pulling the sheet back up, trying to give her space. This was probably the time she’d allow herself to break down, only he was here and he could tell she didn’t know what to do. So she put a door between them.
It had been an emotional night, so he’d give her a door for the moment. He had a call to make. Bridget answered on the second ring, and started crying when he told her about Marty. She said she was heading down to the hospital and promised to say there until he brought Ali back in the morning.
Ali had been handling this all on her own for too long. And she’d hit her breaking point. It was time her sister stepped up and became that woman he always knew she was capable of being. Then he gave Luke a call and asked him to drop by in the morning to deal with the scheduled pickup.
With Marty covered, Hawk went back to the person who needed the most care.
Ali.
His sweet, loving Ali.
The bathroom door was closed, but that didn’t stop him. He gave a quick tap, and when she didn’t answer, he let himself in. Ali sat on the edge of the tub, her feet tucked up under her, and she was crying.
Big silent tears that broke his fucking heart.
“I got you,” he said as he scooped her up, careful of the new bruises on her legs from working all week, and carried her to the bed. He set her down and moved in beside her.
She scrambled up his chest and wrapped her slim arms around his neck and he realized that he had it backward. She had him. From the moment they met, she had his back, his trust, and now his heart. Right there in her hands.
There wasn’t a piece left of Hawk that Ali hadn’t laid claim to. He’d been in love before, but he’d never been here before. He wasn’t just dreaming of a future with Ali, he could feel it, taste it, see it.
He’d had enough experience with dream girls to know that Ali was the real deal. What he felt for her wasn’t a frenzied, immature lust. It was sure and steady, built on a foundation of friendship and respect, and had the depth to go the distance.
He just wasn’t sure, with their past and her family, what kind of path to expect. At her core, Ali was a pleaser, taking on the role of peacemaker for her family. A quality that he respected as much as he feared. Because Ali would do anything to hold her family together—even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness in the process.
“Will you hold me?” she whispered, her voice a soft cry that vibrated through his chest.
He ran a hand down her back and pulled her close, cradling her against him. “For as long as you want, sunshine.”
“Just until I fall asleep.”
“Then how about I hold you for as long as I want?” he asked, and she nodded, her tears falling on his shoulder.
He’d never heard someone pour out that kind of emotion without making a sound. Her body shook, her breath came in anguished puffs, but he couldn’t hear the grief. He could feel it; it was rolling off her in waves, silent waves. It was as if she was afraid that giving it a voice would make it real. Or alert someone to her vulnerability.
After a long moment, she tilted her face up, her eyes so sad, his soul ached to erase the pain.
“Hawk?” Her voice was hoarse and raw.
He traced her tears with his thumb. “Yeah, sunshine.”
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
God, she knew how to break his heart with a simple question. She’d had so many people walk out on her, she didn’t know what to do if someone actually stayed. “If I’m lucky, I’ll get to wake up next to you every morning from here on out.”
“I’d like that,” she whispered.
Hawk tilted his head down and gently kissed her forehead, then whispered, “Now sleep.”
She closed her eyes and Hawk rubbed her back, steady and melodic, until he felt her breathing even out and her body relax into his. It was strange, how someone so different could fit perfectly into his arms.
Into his life.
* * *
Normally when Hawk was invited to a woman’s house for a sleepover, sleeping was not the main objective. Yet there he was, sporting the hard-on of a lifetime, with Ali cradled into the crook of his arm, content to just watch her sleep.
Not that he could move even if he’d wanted to—which he most certainly did not—since his arm had gone numb about three hours ago. But having her this close, all warm and soft, pressing into his body, was driving him batshit crazy. She needed sleep, and he needed—well…
He needed her to move her hand a breath south, bringing a whole lot of good into his morning.
Hawk had convinced himself that this insane attraction stemmed from forbidden fruit—a bad case of the one who got away. It had been the basis of their ruse.
A fun fauxmance was all this would be, she’d said. And he’d bought into it. But it was impossible to pretend for long when dealing with the realest
woman on the planet. Ali was selfless, nurturing, and a woman who deserved the best kind of forever. She put up a good front, distracted him with her tough-girl ’tude, but the longer their relationship went on, the more he realized what a big heart she had, and just how easy she was to fall for.
Ali had been a steady force in his world since high school. He couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t around or in his thoughts. Good times. The bad ones. Around her, he’d never felt alone.
Even during the divorce, Hawk remembered the deep ache that came with the knowledge that he just might lose Ali in the process. In fact, he’d been more concerned with coming back to Destiny Bay and building his relationship with her, than staying in the town where he’d built connections and a career.
And watching her now, sleeping in his arms, he knew why. She was special, as much a part of him as his career had been—as his mom. Ali felt like family. She got to him unlike anyone else, and she got to him in ways he’d never expected.
Sexy, naked ways.
He must have made a sound, because he heard her give a contented and breathy moan, felt her breathing change, and knew she was awake.
And that he was in trouble.
“You’re awake,” she said, those big mossy eyes lifting to his. She gave a little stretch, rolling on her side and sliding her leg over his. And her hand, yeah, it was sliding down his stomach, far enough for her to know firsthand just how awake he was.
“I never took you for a cuddler, sunshine, but I got to say, it looks good on you.” He cocked a brow at her hand and Ali jerked it back. “How did you sleep?”
“I slept great.” She came up on her elbow, her hair a mess of sexy waves. She gave a shy smile. “Thank you for being here last night.”
“Anytime.” He tucked her hair behind her ear, then ran his thumb over her cheekbone. “We have an hour before we have to leave. Want me to make up some breakfast?”
“I never took you for a nurturer, boo, but I gotta say, it looks good on you.” Her gaze roamed his body, followed by her fingers. “Almost as good as my sheets.”