Feels Like the First Time

Home > Romance > Feels Like the First Time > Page 20
Feels Like the First Time Page 20

by Marina Adair


  God, she was sexy.

  “So, maybe coffee and leftover pie?”

  “Maybe,” she said, moving up his body to deliver the gentlest of morning kisses.

  Always a giver, Hawk kissed her back, a sweet and gentle brush of the lips that was meant to soothe, ease her into the morning. After last night she needed some serious pampering. But when it came to Ali, one kiss was never enough.

  He’d come here to be a support in her time of need, but Ali’s needs had clearly gone from comfort to carnal, because suddenly her hand was engaged in an interesting game of what’s behind door number one.

  Nothing good, that’s for sure.

  This was one of those moments when someone had to put on the brakes, point out that she’d had a rough night, and suggest that maybe they talk it out. Over breakfast. Only she didn’t seem to be in a talking mood. As for breakfast, her mind was set on something a little hotter than pie. And what kind of jerk told a lady what she could and couldn’t have for breakfast?

  Not this guy. Nope, Hawk was all about the lady’s needs and wants, and Ali wanted him. Something that became obvious when she slid her hands beneath the waistband of his jeans, giving him the best good morning of his life.

  So instead he kept his mouth shut, reminded himself that it was always ladies first, and pulled Ali on top of him. If his change of plans fazed her, Ali didn’t show it. In fact, she came to him soft and pliant, and so damn sweet.

  “Hawk,” she moaned. No, it was more of a groan—and before he knew it, his thumbs were sliding beneath the hem of her pajama bottoms. She took that as a green light to go back to work on his jeans, unbuttoning them with her fingers, while her mouth slowly, languidly worked his.

  Which he had no problem with because it caused her shirt to gape open, and with a little one-two action of his nimble fingers, they were up and under and, his life was complete, she had gone for a bra-free kind of night.

  Just like she’d gone home with him because she’d needed a friend. And there he lay, friend of the year, with his hands up her top while she was looking ready to go down on him.

  Even though he wanted her to go down, and of course he’d return the favor, but he’d promised himself not to be one more person who took advantage of her, and she’d been pretty messed up a few hours ago.

  “Ali,” he said, cupping her face. “You’ve had a rough night, and you’re going to have a long day. We don’t have to do this. I’m okay with just talking.”

  She sat back on her knees, her eyes locked on his, then she smiled. “Last night was just the start of a really long process. There’ll be months of talking and worrying. Right now I don’t want to think of anything but this.” She ran a hand down his abs—and lower—cupping him over his jeans. “I don’t want to think of anything but us.”

  And to prove it, Ali reached for the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up and over, and Hawk sucked in a breath.

  She was stunning. Petite, athletic, and with just the right amount of curves to have his body saying, Oh yeah. Then she was kissing him, and man, the woman kissed like she lived—bold and unapologetic.

  “As long as you’re sure?” he chuckled against her lips.

  She mumbled something about Shut the fuck up and kiss me, but it was hard to decipher with her tongue down his throat. And in case that wasn’t crystal fucking clear enough, she made short order of his pants, then draped her naked body over his.

  But instead of going for the gold, she took a minute to study him, as if looking for something. And Hawk prayed to God that he had what she needed, because this was as real as it was going to get for him.

  Thank Christ, she must have found whatever she was searching for, because she met his gaze and whispered, “I’m always sure with you, Hawk.”

  At her words, calm stillness took over, starting in his chest and radiating out until everything inside him caught wind and all he felt was peace.

  Direction.

  Clarity.

  Her smile, her confidence, the way she made him feel. It was addicting as hell. He could hold her all night and still itch to touch her. Kiss her until the sun went down and she’d still taste like his.

  And damn, he wanted her to be his. Even more, he wanted to be hers. Her friend, her lover, her family.

  “Come here,” he said, and when she wrapped her arms around his neck, he cupped those heart-shaped cheeks and pressed her against him, showing her how sure he was.

  Her mouth was on him in seconds, hungry and demanding. And her hips, holy shit her hips, were doing this swivel action that was mind blowing. She slid up the length of him, then slowly back down, her hand on one side, her body on the other. Never taking him in, just teasing the skin, increasing the friction, the pressure, until breathing was impossible.

  He was one stroke from going off like a rocket, but he gritted his teeth, because Ali was back on her knees, her head flung back and those glorious breasts jutting out for his viewing pleasure. And talk about pleasure, Ali was taking hers, rubbing herself into a frenzy.

  So when her moans turned to groans, and finally quick releases of air that said she was almost there, Hawk decided he’d be the guy to take her anywhere she fucking desired.

  Sitting up, he grabbed her hips and rocked to his own knees, setting her on his lap and setting a fast and hard rhythm that had sweat beading on his brow.

  He’d give anything to slip right inside her, feel her with nothing between them. But this was about Ali, so he focused on her until her nipples hardened enough to graze his chest, and her slick heat moved with ease over him, and when her head rolled back and she cried out his name, Hawk slid on the condom and brought her on home.

  “Oh God, Hawk,” she cried as he entered her in the height of her orgasm, causing a second wave of pleasure to roll through her—and through him.

  Not giving her a chance to recover, Hawk laid her back, and with her ankles still locked around his hips, he drove all the way in and pulled nearly all the way out, only to slide slowly back in.

  “Don’t,” she cried, fading off, and Hawk stilled.

  “Don’t what?” he asked.

  Those bedroom eyes opened and she grinned. “Don’t you dare stop.”

  When it came to Ali, Hawk was quickly realizing he didn’t know how to stop.

  He’d do whatever it took to go the distance. To stay. Right there in her bed.

  In her life.

  So when she wrapped those arms around his neck and held him until there was nothing between them but emotions, he was pretty sure his heart lodged itself in his chest. And when she pushed up and he was coming down, he felt as if he was going to explode out of his body.

  “Anything you want,” he promised.

  “Anything,” he said again as he withdrew all the way. “You.” He slid all the way back in, to the hilt, and she cried out his name. And when he felt her first tremor of release, he gave her everything he had and she took it—all of it. Giving him even more in return.

  “Want,” he groaned as she shattered around him, her body coiling until he felt his body tighten to the point of passing out. His vision went hazy, his lungs gave out, and then he exploded so hard, his arms buckled.

  He never let go, even as he collapsed and rolled them to the side. Holding her close so he could breathe her in.

  Ali didn’t seem to mind, her limp arms doing their best to hold on. And Hawk knew right then that she was his. That all this time he’d had been looking for that one great love, and it was waiting for him right next door.

  Chapter 15

  For a guy who had a million and one things to do before opening, Hawk had no business spending the afternoon on Chasing Destiny, refinishing the railings and polishing steel. But that’s what happened when you fall asleep with a beautiful woman in your arms, and wake up to her moaning your name.

  You do ridiculous things—like offer to clean your ex-father-in-law’s boat for his homecoming.

  Marty was doing better, but the doctor wanted to kee
p an eye on his levels for a few more days before they released him. So Ali had gone down to have dinner with him. Hawk had considered going with her, but knew she wouldn’t rest until the boat was ready for Marty.

  And Hawk wanted to help her in any way that he could. Her plate was overflowing, so while she was busy being Ali, and taking care of everyone around her, he was going to take care of her. His goal was to finish up here in time to surprise Ali with dessert, and a set of strong arms.

  Perfect for a little pampering and, hopefully, some more of that naked pampering they were so good at.

  So when he saw the dock swaying, he flexed those biceps and got them ready, in case she wanted to get started on the party early. Only when he looked up, he found Bridget walking down the dock with a glass of wine and an ice-cold beer.

  She’d been there when he’d dropped Ali off at the hospital earlier that morning. Outside of thanking her for staying the night and discussing the details of Marty’s release, the sisters had barely spoken. Bridget’s big blue doe eyes were willing him to smooth things over; Ali’s were begging him to leave.

  The tension between the sisters was palpable, and his presence was just adding gasoline to the flames. He got it, but it still rubbed him the wrong way.

  But watching Bridget now, that brittle smile and the cold beer in hand, he saw Ali’s point. They’d all been playing the same roles for so long, it was hard to redefine the boundaries. Even more concerning, Bridget didn’t understand that the boundaries applied to her, because it was clear that she was in need of a hero.

  Too bad, Hawk had no desire to put on that cape.

  The tide was changing direction and he’d promised Ali he’d deal with any contraband and stock the fridge with healthy choices. Something Marty better start making if he wanted his outcome to change.

  A sentiment Hawk took to heart.

  Bridget climbed on the boat, the breeze blowing her hair back. Her eyes were red, and her face was puffy. She’d been crying. Hawk’s heart dropped. “Is Marty okay?”

  “He’s fine,” she said, leaning against the railing. “Or he’s going to be. They’re releasing him tomorrow morning.”

  “That’s great.” Hawk picked up his discarded shirt off the railing and slid it on. The temperature was only in the low seventies, but the sun reflecting off the deck had been brutal. “Ali’s still at the hospital.”

  “I know. I came to pack my stuff and saw you down here.” She swallowed. “You looked like you could use a cold one.”

  She handed him the beer, and he took a long pull. “Thanks.”

  “Don’t thank me.” She shook her head, her eyes going misty. “I should be thanking you, for being here to help out with my dad, and doing all of this when you didn’t have to.” She met his gaze and gave a watery smile. “You really are a great guy.”

  Torn between wanting to shoulder her tears and not ever wanting to go there again, Hawk changed the subject. “Are you headed to the airport?”

  “First thing tomorrow morning,” she said and faced the water, her hair spilling down her back, turning a shiny gold in the setting sun. She wore it loose and unstyled, the way he used to like it. “I have to go cancel the venue and take care of a few things, then I’ll come back.”

  “I’m sorry, I know how excited you were, but Marty will be happy to know you’re close. Will you reschedule the wedding for when Marty can travel or will you move it back to the West Coast?” he asked, knowing Marty would rather risk another heart attack than miss his daughter’s wedding.

  “No, I’m canceling the wedding. Calling it all off,” Bridget said, her back to him.

  Hawk froze. “You are?”

  “I was sitting in the hospital room as person after person came to check on my dad, on my family. It was six in the morning,” she said softly, “and they were already lining up with this huge outpouring of support. And I realized my support couldn’t make it here until tomorrow, because of a board meeting he just couldn’t manage to hand off to his VP.”

  After the short time he’d spent with Jamie, Hawk wasn’t surprised. But he felt bad for Bridget all the same. She’d placed a lot of her dreams on that marriage working, and he knew how hard it was to watch a dream like that die. “Have you told your family?”

  “Jamie doesn’t even know.” He watched as she covered her mouth with her hand, trying to control the emotions from spilling out. “He doesn’t even know I’m unhappy.” She closed her eyes, and a tear escaped. “How stupid is that?”

  Hawk thought back to the last year of their marriage, and how he’d had no idea Bridget was unhappy. It wasn’t as if there weren’t any signs; she’d even told him she was struggling. But he’d been so busy with the season, he’d chalked it up to growing pains. To the sacrifice that came with being married to a guy who was married to hockey.

  “I’m sorry, Bridget.” Hawk placed a hand on her shoulder.

  She turned around and her eyes went wide with surprise. “Oh my God, you really are. Most people would tell me I was getting what I deserve after what I did to you. But here you are, genuinely sorry for me.”

  “You weren’t the only one who made mistakes, I did, too,” he admitted. “I never fully blamed you, and I’ll never stop wanting what’s best for you.”

  “I want to come home,” she whispered, sounding ready to break. “I want to be closer to my dad so I can help take care of him. Seeing him in that hospital bed made me realize that I might not get another chance to make things right. And I want to get serious about a career in event planning.”

  “That’s great.” He took a seat on the bench and waited for her to do the same. “You are organized and creative and great with people, so that would be a natural fit for you. People loved how you transformed my bar, and even though it wasn’t my preference, I have to admit it was stunning. If you focused, I’d bet you could even open your own event company someday.”

  “I hope so, because I reached out to Susan at Myers’s Orchards,” she said, and an uneasiness settled over him.

  “Susan Myers? The mayor’s wife?”

  Bridget nodded. “She plans all of the weddings and events at the orchard, and she’s looking for someone to help her with wedding season. Plus, I’ve already had people tell me the same thing about the engagement party, Ali’s friend even said she’d hire me in a heartbeat to plan some events for Sweetie Pies.” Kennedy may have said that, but she’d never hire someone if it meant making Ali’s life harder. And having Bridget in town would cause a never-ending cycle of trouble.

  “I bet I could get a few clients of my own by the end of the year.” She sounded so excited, as if she was talking about moving to Paris or New York, two places Hawk would be supportive of her moving to. In fact, there was only one place she couldn’t move. And that was Destiny Bay.

  Hawk held up his hands, palms out, in a clear sign to slow down. But he could tell by her smile that she was just getting started. She was approaching this move like she had the wedding. Full steam with blinders on.

  “Why Destiny Bay?” he reminded her, because he knew his ex and she was caught up in the dream of it all, not stopping to consider what it would really mean to live in the same town as her family. She would want the perks of being close by, but until she got a better handle on who she was, she’d avoid all of the responsibility.

  “My dad is here, Ali’s here.” She met his gaze. “You’re here. Why not?”

  Oh, hell, no.

  “Because that was the only thing I asked for in the divorce,” Hawk said, panic reaching out and grabbing him by the throat. “You got everything. The house, the cars, the mutual friends. All I wanted was to come home and start my life over.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “I wanted that, too. But I was thinking, what if we started over…together.”

  That noose tightened until his lungs burned. “I don’t even see how that could work. I want kids, a family, a simple life. You want…none of that.”

  “What if I wanted that now?
The house with the picket fence, the 2.4 kids, the small town life full of picnics on Sunday and dinner at my dad’s,” she said, and Hawk struggled to make sense of what she was offering over the blood rushing through his head. “What if I wanted all of that with you?”

  She took a step closer, her big fathomless eyes calling out to him to make everything better. A part of Hawk, the lovesick twenty-two-year-old who’d waited a lifetime to hear those words, wanted to grab hold of her and never let go. But the older Hawk, the one who wanted something real, who wanted to sink into love and make it last a lifetime, reminded him that that ship had sailed.

  “You don’t really want that,” he said softly. “And you sure don’t want it with me. Everything in your life is uncertain and you’re reaching for something familiar. Using the past as a safety vest, but trust me, it won’t work,” he said with certainty, because he’d done the same thing. And all it had helped him do was keep his head above water.

  She wrapped her arms around her middle. “It might work this time.”

  “It won’t.” And it never would have, he realized with a clarity he’d been missing. “Because we never worked. It’s easy to remember the high points, and we had a lot,” he said, thinking back on their marriage. “But we also had a lot of low times. And man, Bridget, when they were low, they were low.”

  And hard on both of them. They’d cycle from the highs to the lows, but they had no idea how to be with each other in the middle, where things were comfortable, loving, safe. It was as if they lived for the chaos. A place he’d spent his childhood trying to escape, and his twenties re-creating.

  “It might be different this time.” She rested her palm on his chest, and he waited for the familiar zing of awareness that came anytime Bridget put her hands on him. All he felt was a peaceful release of the past leaving his body. The pain and the heartache making room for hope and a new love.

  “It will be different,” he said. “Because we will both find it with someone else.”

  “Oh my God.” Bridget’s face fell, and she pulled her hand back as if burned. “You’re in love with Ali.”

 

‹ Prev