The Birth of Dystopia

by A. Q. Moser

  “Without realizing it, one can send nonverbal messages to clue a psychic.” Wolfgang shook his head, unhappy by the disclosure.

  “I learnt never to teach a fool the lessons of life since all he can do is scoff back at you.” May stood silent as Wolfgang added insult to injury about how fools believe these scammers.

  By glancing away from Wolfgang’s general direction, May pretended not to hear him. “If I listened to people like you than I would never be where I’m now. Risks are always worth it if we plan on getting ahead.” She was obviously tired of listening to what others believed.

  Wolfgang rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Then do what you want.” He leaned back and crossed his arms and lowered his bearded chin obscuring his neck. He attempted to recollect and wait for his turn to continue preaching.

  “I will and I did.” May was satisfied by her ambitions and interrupting Wolfgang’s lesson. “Let me ask you an unusual question. In the steamboat dream, do any of you think there is any significance in the five people under the lamppost?”

  “I never thought of it. There could be more.” I was intrigued by the possibility.

  “Actually, there were six people with the lamppost. Five under it in a circle and one on top existing as the light,” May added more to theory.

  “May, I think you have a point,” Wolfgang settled down.

  “What a second. If this is true, how are we goink to find these other weirdoes?” Billy stated frustratingly, believing in the six-man theory.

  “We could canvas the neighbourhood?” I suggested, thinking a police approach was doable.

  “I’m out.” Billy simply explained his participation in my idea.

  “Why not?” Wolfgang jumped in, supporting the six-man theory.

  “Fans are goink to recognize me. I don’t want any trouble,” Billy simplified his predicament.

  “You can disguise yourself by wear sunglasses and a hat,” Wolfgang suggested, an easy workaround.

  “I said, no!” Billy refused blatantly. “Let’s do somethink else,”

  “Do you want to find these people or not?” May ganged up on Billy too.

  “Someone has been playing us and we need to find out who they are or what they are. We need to bring whoever is responsible for disturbing our lives to justice,” Wolfgang announced clearly and loudly, explaining his stance as evenly as possible, holding back a strong emotional tie.

  My sentiments expressed exactly—anything for justice. We needed to fight back, but how?

  “What is all this talk?” Billy shouted back. “Talk is just cheap.” His lips quivered angrily although deep down he agreed we needed more answers.

  “We know we need to do something,” May shouted back, raising her high and lowering them to calm down.

  “Maybe May could use her reporter background and write an article on the matter. She doesn’t need to mention any names so no one will ever know it was us,” I suggested captivated more by this idea than the first one.

  “It doesn’t guarantee anythink. We could be waitink for days.” Billy had his opinion ready to counter, as if time was of the essence.

  “We need to agree on one thing and do it,” Wolfgang dictated.

  “I think we should try a whole bunch of things and see what pans out.” May was stuck on visiting the psychic.

  “There’s a saying for that. If you try to chase two rabbits,” Wolfgang stated, “you will lose both of them.”

  “I’ve a saying for you. Sayings aren’t perfect and don’t necessarily reflect reality. Things are always overlooked,” I argued back in May’s defence.

  “Yeah,” May agreed, “like the time scientists said the recessive blonde gene would disappear after a few hundred years. Look at it now. We can genetically manipulate it. Scientists always devise these limited models that are bogus.”

  Wolfgang sat quietly thinking of a comeback to explain his reasoning.

  “Mister Doctor Scientist thinks he’s so smart,” Billy muttered loud enough to make out the words.

  “Then a rock concert in Toronto?” Wolfgang sprung out with.

  “Hey, hold on a second here! I found you guys.” Billy stared at Wolfgang as if this reunion was all his doing. “Now you do some work for a change.”

  “How’s that?” Wolfgang replied, slowly rising from his chair and leaning on the billiard table, “I e-mailed you first only to be ignored.”

  “You think I’m scared of you?” Billy rhetorically replied. “You should be so grateful that I’d call an ambulance for you after I’m done with you.” Faking a threatening step towards Wolfgang, he retraced his steps back to the bar stand.

  The tension was growing between them. They were like two raging bulls stuck in a ring. Worse part was complying with either one, let alone ignoring the intense scrimmages between the two.

  “So it’s true! You are a conceded fool who only tries to pretend to be something else.” Wolfgang drove hard at Billy personally.

  “You want a piece of me?” Billy yelled angrily.

  In that instant, Billy spun around and hurled his drink—glass and all—across the room nearly striking Wolfgang in the right shoulder. Wolfgang gestured his arms forward in the instinctive crossed arms manoeuvre to avoid the unlit Molotov cocktail. The whipped liquid separated from the container and May screamed, as she tasted some drops of the alcoholic content of Billy’s drink. The empty glass struck the wall splattering the shards of glass onto the floor in a mosaic pattern.

  I leaped out of my chair desperate in restoring order and made an attempt to approach Billy. I wanted to control the situation and get the meeting back on track.

  “Don’t touch me Joel,” Billy directed in defiance, shifting his left shoulder and arm out of my reach to avoid my grasp. He tilted his head forward and pointed at me. “Nobody touch me. I don’t need this.” His Adam’s apple plunged down and back to its original position.

  Wolfgang searched frantically for signs of harm, occasionally grimacing disgustingly at the wet spots on his clothes. He brushed his hair back dismayed by what just happened.

  “Be reasonable Billy,” May pleaded.

  “You can’t be trusted,” Wolfgang shouted at Billy.

  Billy stormed out of the billiard room. Not as a teenage girl given her curfew hours during the night of a major party but as a child who would rather eat nothing and go to his room rather than succumb to an act of apology. He was acting like a spoiled child.

  23

  Wolfgang jumped to his feet and tossed the patio chair aside in total disregard. “Enough of this. I’m leaving.”

  May stood up and reached out for Wolfgang’s left shoulder. “We need to talk. How can I get in contact you?”

  Wolfgang stopped to hand May a business card. Then he adjusted his sagging pants. “I’m in town until tomorrow night. After that I’m back in home in New York. Call me on my cell.” And he headed out.

  May studied the business card and looked to me for answers. I shrugged my shoulders just as confused as she was. Billy and Wolfgang belonged on opposite ends, with an unrelenting grudge that could harm our efforts to work together.

  “What are we going to do?” May checked with me as though I had the answers.

  “Wait for Billy or go home, I guess.” I had no explanation as to what transpired.

  “I’ll go find Billy.” May planned. “Wait here.” She disappeared.

  Returning to my seat on the other end of the billiard table, I was left with a powerless feeling. An evening intended to grasp the struggle behind of our nightmares turned on us. We imploded. Deep down inside, I wanted to blame the nightmares for our reactions. Its pain deserved retribution. The more I reflected on the matter, the more rage that built up. I was inspired to revolt but I did not know whom to revolt against. A pressure built above my sinus, enough to distract me from the current dilemma. I needed to calm down.

  Leaning on the billiard table, I reached inside a pocket hole for the cue ball. Instead, I pulled out the solid, yello
w ball. The lowest number, the number one ball. The first ball racked within the pool triangle and then the first ball to be knocked by the cue ball. And once downed, forgotten. I rolled it across the table striking the sides to rebound it back. This was my game to pass the time and relax.

  Uncertain who or if anyone would be back, I abandoned the made-up billiard game and proceeded to the stairwell. Not a sound from either end of the hallway. I shook my head in disbelief.

  We were four strangers dismissed for bad behaviour. Not adults with a level of maturity but children playing in a giant playpen. Adults incapable of respecting each other, only insulting with words and punishing with physical harm, we flee in the face of trouble. No common thread to move forward. It hurt to think about this; I was saddened by this abandonment. Things were bad with this group. What I believed was a step forward may have been countered by our inability to agree. It was simply a case of too many strong personalities in one place. It was time for me to leave.

  Ascending the stairs I moved down the hallway to the mansion foyer. There was no one around, no one to say goodbye to, and no one to request a ride from. How could I call a taxi with no telephone? Opening the two bulky front doors, I stepped outside into the dark night. I expected I could hail a taxi from the streets.

  “Joel,” A female voice called out from behind.

  I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see May waving her hands at me.

  “Wait for me,” May screamed louder. She sprinted to my side, leaving the doors ajar. “I called a cab. We can go home together. Were you going to take off on me?”

  I shrugged my shoulders unsure how to answer the question. “I didn’t know where you were.” I frowned unhappy with leaving May behind despite her telling me to wait for her.

  “You were going to take off on me.” May furrowed her eyebrows, annoyed by what I did.

  “Sorry,” I apologized sincerely.

  “Please don’t do that again.” May shook her head scolding my behaviour.

  “I promise. I’m really sorry.” I felt ashamed and May was beating down on me. But what could I do? I felt so alone in the basement that I wanted to return to my apartment.

  We exited Billy’s compound through an open gate and continued our way walking down the street bearing the name Residence Royal Park.

  “I’m absolutely shocked by this evening. We saw grown adults fighting like children. I spoke with Billy and I told him we needed to work through this issue.” May sighed, expressing her valiant effort to restore peace. “Absolutely insane behaviour. I mean can’t Billy and Wolfgang just be friends or something.”

  “It doesn’t look good.” I pessimistically made my prognosis of the situation.

  “I think it can work with the right attitude.” May looked disappointed by my prediction. “Worst case scenario we keep everybody separate and talk over the phone. This way there’s less violent outbursts.”

  I nodded, agreeing that was a good possibility. “Was Billy really so angry because Wolfgang referred to him by his real name?”

  “Who knows?” May shrugged perplexed by the whole situation as I was. “Maybe I can work it out of him?”

  At the first intersection, the brightly lit security booth was visible in the distance. The only way out was the way we came. The eerie stillness of the night and the strangeness of an ostentatious neighbourhood had us quickening our walking pace.

  “Where do you live?” May asked.

  “I’m at an apartment at seventy-five Navrina Road,” I responded.

  “Oh yeah I know where that is.” May nodded. “I’m about ten minutes south of your place.”

  “Since we’re sharing a cab, did you want to be dropped off first?” I offered.

  “No, you’re closer. Thanks for offering though.” May appeared charmed by my gentleman’s act.

  On arrival to the front gate, a guard serious in demeanour stepped out of the booth and moved towards us. “Why are you two walking?” he called out, trying to ascertain the situation.

  May stepped in front of me. “Billy was busy so he said we could hail a cab at the front gate. In the real world not everyone owns a vehicle.”

  The serious guard nodded. “Just doing my job.” He tried to ease the situation. “Someone called for a cab earlier so I guess it’s for you two.”

  On the other side of the gate, a yellow cab sat idle by the curb. In Upper Toronto, where Billy resided, it was perfectly logical to drive everywhere. Rich people had cars and never walked. And with that, May and I crossed over to the other side to the awaiting cab.

  Sitting comfortably in the back, I turned to the taxi driver. “Can you make two stops?”

  “Where ever you want, sir,” the taxi driver politely responded.

  “Since you’re closer, you can be dropped off first,” May offered.

  “Seventy-five Navrina Road, please.” I was closer so my place first.

  As we drove off May cruelly waved the guards a kiss goodbye. “Crazy night,” she reminisced.

  “Crazy indeed,” I agreed.

  “I want to give you my cell number so we can be in contact.” Switching topics, May shuffled through her leather purse. “I know its here.” She pulled out a blue pen and a piece of paper.

  I wrote out my home telephone number while May reshuffled items in her purse. “Here you go.”

  “Found it,” May sprouted a sky blue business card from her purse and handed it over.

  “Thanks,” I held the smooth card in my hand. A wave of excitement burst through me as if I was bestowed with a humanitarian gift for a village.

  “Great.” May snatched the paper and pen.

  My cheeks flushed and I looked down at my scuffed-up running shoes. “Call me if you decide on a course of action. But I’m always the last to know things anyways.”

  Fidgeting about, May dumped the pen and paper into her purse. “I’ll call you as soon as I hear something.”

  I stored the smooth business card in my wallet and reached out some money for the cab ride.

  “Don’t worry, I got this one.” May pushed my hand aside.

  I was not sure how to handle this other than to accept the gracious offer. A stranger offered to pay the cab ride. “Thanks.”

  In what seemed a short ride, we were nearing my apartment. The neighbourhood was for modest families living in modest apartments. It was a far cry to the extravaganza in Billy’s district of Upper Toronto.

  “Maybe it’s just the journalist in me but did you really see the hit-and-run for Mister Popular?” May shot out of the blue.

  A dread flowed over me. Of all things to bring up. I nodded while looking down at my shoes.

  “I’m sorry for bringing this up. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just that so many people try to hop on the bandwagon of fame. You know how it is?” May defended her rational.

  “To be honest, I wished I never saw the accident. If it weren’t for these nightmares I probably would never have seen it.” A chill rose through my body.

  May reached out and lifted my chin so she could look me in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I realize this must have caused you a lot of pain.”

  “Thank you.” I awkwardly replied, unsure how to respond.

  The cab ride eased to the front curb of the twenty-five-story apartment.

  “Is here okay, sir?” the taxi driver enquired.

  “Yeah it’s fine,” May replied on my behalf.

  I stepped out. “Thanks for paying May.” I smiled for her kindness.

  “I’ll give you a call if I come up with anything more. Ciao.” May repositioned to the middle of the backseat.

  I shut the door and headed inside. May was a sweet girl and I had a lot of respect for her. She was beyond my reach but I still admired her—from a distance.

  I traveled up in the elevator to the third floor. Once home I headed straight to bed, leaving my clothes by the bedside. Mixed feelings of happiness and sadness flourished as if my life has arrived at the pinnacle of my exis
tence in age and maturity and I had nothing to show for.

  Billy was a famous rock star, Wolfgang was an up and coming professor in the field of Microbiology and May blazed a journalistic career. And to top it off, they were three years younger than me. Everyone was achieving success with their life, contributing in their own way, leaps and bounds above me. Where was I? I was packaging computers. It seemed I was on the short of end of the rope. I felt like I lost.

  To them, the nightmares were turned into essential assets to their professional lives but for me it was my enemy. It created an uncontrollable fear that held me back. The truth must be uncovered. I had to know why. I wanted the truth but deep down inside of me I wanted retribution on whoever did this to me. But in the end, I wanted assurance that I was not doing this to me but that someone else was.

  No. No more thoughts. I needed sleep. I snuggled the side of my face into the fluffy pillows. My eyes were closed and my mind must follow. Darkness, sleep. I yawned inviting the drowsiness. No more thoughts.

  How could I stop thinking and let my mind go into emptiness? White paper, emptiness. My thoughts of white paper led back to images of my newfound gang—Billy, Wolfgang, and May. This comforts me to belong. A soothing tempo of blood pumped throughout my body vibrating my senses.

  I reached over the bedside and turned on the radio. The radio had auto-shut off after an hour or so. The distraction of Propaganda news would do the trick.

  —The science of the future is slowly evolving to a total dependence on computers. Basically, computers have become a necessity for organized research. Data collection and storage cannot be approved unless data is retrievable from a secure workstation. Supercomputer integration is producing an unusual cooperation between scientists and their computer sidekick.

  The essence of science functions by proposing several models and preparing experiments to disprove the model. Models can only be disproved; they are never proven for one hundred percent. A working model may overlook an unforeseen issue and therefore model must be revised or abandoned for another. Future experiments only add to the complexity of a model. Fear of reprisal of using the word proof is always on the minds of scientists; hence, the lack of certainty in life.