The Birth of Dystopia

by A. Q. Moser

  Cadet did not respond but continued onwards.

  Wolfgang stopped. “Was there a water problem here too?” he repeated the question to Cadet.

  Cadet returned back and stepped in-between Wolfgang and Billy. “I had a cave-in here. I almost died here. The soil and rock mixture was loose or something.” His voice was stern. “I don’t like stopping here. I almost died here. Alright!”

  With such emotion tied to the tunnel, the perilous push forward seemed more intriguing. What could be ahead that needed a tunnel to get to? What was this army base hiding?

  Cadet squeezed his way back to the lead position and the hike recommenced. Not for long, Wolfgang stopped, as did Billy. Something did not sit right. Something was out of place.

  “It’s not finished,” Wolfgang muttered in shock.

  I tried to peer over Wolfgang and Billy but there was no need to see what a dead end looks like. All dead ends looked the same, nothing there.

  “It’s almost done,” Cadet whispered anxiously. “Listen.” He leaned over with an ear to the rocky wall plastered with smudges of dirt. “I’m almost there.” He unloaded his tool belt and geared up to tackle the wall.

  “No, no, no.” May shook her head in anger. She pulled me back wanting to leave immediately.

  “Shhh, listen.” Cadet called us over.

  “Let’s just get out of here,” May called us back. “There could be ten feet of reinforced concrete for all we know.” Not waiting for a reply, May headed back to the entrance.

  Unlike any mental barrier we build up against ourselves, this was a physical disappointment. I followed May back, leaving Wolfgang and Billy to decide for themselves. Trudging back in the dark, I moved briskly back to where we came in from. Up ahead, the dull sunlight welcomed me out of the black void. The precious forest air smelled refreshing. I was careful to not step on the third step where the corpse of the mouse lay.

  43

  Emerging from the unfinished tunnel, May turned to me. “Cadet played us. He wasted our time with his talk of secret documents.” She tossed her flashlight aside.

  “I can’t believe it myself,” I agreed ashamed.

  “What are we to do now?” May looked on disenchanted and confounded.

  “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully.

  Wolfgang and Billy exited the construction mine; each troubled by what they saw. They flung their gear down in protest and gathered next to May and me.

  “This guy’s sick,” Wolfgang broadcasted, without checking to see whether Cadet would hear it. “Who builds a tunnel into a secure, military base?”

  Billy looked at Wolfgang. “Aerial.” He implied the source of the problem. “Aerial, that traitor, is to blame.”

  “I just can’t believe Aerial would betray us,” May shrieked. A wet lining prickled the edge of her eyelash.

  “Hey! I’ve had enough of that traitor,” Billy griped, clutching his fits. “It’s your fault May for wastink our time with her.”

  May covered her face with her hands, trying to hide her sorrowful tears.

  Feeling for her, Wolfgang consoled May by wrapping an arm around her. “Billy, let’s think this through and not play the blame game. It serves us no purpose to make May cry,” he changed his tune.

  “Ha,” Billy laughed with an air of mockery. To make matters worse, he waved an index finger in Wolfgang’s face. “This is comink from an idiot whose life is controlled by some wife.”

  Bothered by the proximity of Billy’s finger, Wolfgang smacked it out of the way. Riled up, Billy responded by smacking Wolfgang in the face.

  Watching history repeat itself, I stood in shock at the build-up to another fight. Fearing the worse, May reacted by covering her face with her hands.

  Wolfgang crutched low and charged like a rhino at Billy’s abdomen. Both men were hurled back landing against the trunk of a tree. Billy grunted in pain. Regaining his mean spirit, Billy followed the attack up with a vicious elbow to Wolfgang’s spine. Wolfgang collapsed to the ground, wincing in delirious spasms. Seeing the opportunity, Billy proceeded to kick him in the chest. Before he could do some serious damage, I intervened and managed to push Billy away. He collided with May and knocked her to the ground.

  Billy approached me to settle the score grimacing all the way. I stepped back fearing I was going to get what was owed to Wolfgang.

  I raised my hands, showing I was unarmed. “Please, I don’t want to fight, please.”

  “Why did you push me?” Billy challenged my intervention.

  “Just trying to stop the fight,” I continued moving back, further away from the mess.

  Fed up and back on her feet, May wiped her tears and tried to get angry. “Stop it Billy. Leave him alone.” She stepped in between us to protect me. “Don’t you dare touch him!”

  “I’m leavink,” Billy growled. “You want a ride, come now.” Not up to fighting a girl, he marched out to the station wagon.

  Seeing I was fine, May ran over to check on Wolfgang. He moaned in pain all the while grasping his chest and stomach. Becoming the caring nurse, she supported Wolfgang until he was up on his feet. She picked off the leaves and sticks that clung to his sports jacket, and helped to fix his sagging pants that exposed the top of his underwear.

  Wolfgang coughed in pain. “I want to leave.” He had the bewildered look that accompanied a filmgoer after sitting through an artsy movie that made no sense.

  “We’d better hurry then,” I advised, considering Billy was the type to abandon us in the forest.

  Billy was already at the station wagon, revving the vehicle into action. The three of us rushed over, fearing he would follow through on his ultimatum. Trying to be courteous, I opened the side door to let in Wolfgang and May. They huddled next to each other, almost seeking company in a moment of misery. Wolfgang slumped back in the seat, while holding his chest and stomach. May slammed the side door. She rested her head in her hands while leaning over her lap. Not to leave Billy alone in the front, I climbed into the front passenger seat.

  It was truly a sad day. A money hungry psychic duped us. A junkyard hermit led us astray. Another group fight and we were spent. We were in serious jeopardy of falling apart at the seams.

  Leaving Cadet behind, Billy steered the station wagon around, crushing anything alive in his path. He ran over saplings and bushes not caring about any possible damage to the vehicle. Once at the log gate, I darted out and rolled the timber blockade out of the way and returned to my seat. It was a welcome sight to be cruising down the highway and heading south back towards urban civilization.

  “Aerial is a traitor,” Billy muttered in betrayal. “You led us into this.” He snuck a sneering peek at May.

  “How’s it my fault?” May pleaded. “How should I’ve known? She helped me with my career. There’s got to be another explanation.”

  “Here’s the latest news May: Psychic works for military for personal benefit,” Billy concluded without any doubts.

  May looked up. “Please,” she begged, on the verge of tears. “I just can’t see how this is possible. She told me about things that helped me. Aerial never lied to me. Please understand. The list she gave me helped my career and advised me to e-mail you. This list is very important to me.”

  “Billy, do you believe what Cadet told us? All the stories about the experimentation process, the testing on children, the subliminal messages?” I diverted his attention to spare May from further insults.

  “Who knows what the truth is? Maybe it’s a lie to cover a truth to cover another lie,” Billy surmised, but not certain.

  Divided by the despair of the situation, we sat quietly, watching the open highway and listening to the gentle hum of the engine outside. We were at a perilous crossroad and there seemed to be no easy answer to what was going on.

  Like a tidal wave of conflicting emotions, I felt so indecisive to the point of being useless and lonely. In an instant, the disturbing Mister Popular trial re-entered my mind. The whole fiasco with my br
utal testimony bore a heavy weight on me. What I thought was so true unfolded as all wrong. I believed in Cadet and Aerial but the present situation had them as deranged and untrusting. My mind produced a never-ending barrage of menacing nightmares while my heart directed me to two washed up characters looking to abuse the feeble-minded. How could everything about me be so wrong? I did not know what to believe in anymore and for this I was scared. I felt empty as if my shallow existence was nothing more than a staged act in a cruel, cruel play.

  “Let’s go eat,” Billy broke the silence, dictated by a primordial drive. “I can’t think on an empty stomach.”

  “I want to go home,” May begged. “I need to get away from all this.”

  “First we eat.” Billy commanded and decided the course of action for us.

  Two rectangular blue symbols advertised lodging and food off the next exit of the highway. Billy headed for that direction. He drove the station wagon up to a coffee shop and bakery advertising home-brewed coffee and fresh sandwiches.

  “Let’s eat first and decide what to do next. Nothink to be said until we’ve eaten.” Billy turned off the car engine and he checked the placement of his baseball cap and sunglasses in the mirror before stepping out of the vehicle.

  Hunger was not my first priority. I was lost in thought, and perhaps this suppressed any other physical need. “Do you want us to wait here?” I asked unsure what the next move was.

  “Come with me,” Billy suggested, looking for an extra hand.

  I opened the door and slid out of the front seat to tag along with Billy.

  “No, not you.” Billy pointed to someone in the backseat. “May, come with me.”

  I froze in my tracks. I would never have guessed Billy wanted May to join him.

  May heard her name being called and reacted by doing as she was told. Together, Billy and May walked over to the bakery and headed inside.

  I looked over to Wolfgang. “Are you feeling better?”

  Preoccupied, Wolfgang rubbed his beard over and over again. “I can’t go on with this anymore.”

  Seeing Wolfgang fall to pieces had me feel we were on the same sinking boat. I felt compelled to respond. I felt it was up to me to make a critical move but it was so easier to abandon the sinking boat.

  The bakery doors swung out and Billy and May exited. May held a clear plastic bag full of packaged sandwiches and water bottles. Like a gift of gratitude, she handed me a sandwich and a bottle.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  May did the same for Wolfgang leaving Billy to be served last. She sat in her seat and drank only the water leaving the sandwich cradled on her lap.

  Billy picked off some stray leaves dangling from the windshield wipers. “We’ll eat here and then go back to my house.” Once again, he had decided the next course of action.

  As nobody objected to it, Billy maintained his control over us. Like a carrot dwindled over the foolish donkey, we were led.

  The aroma of the wrapped sandwich was overwhelming. “Smells nice.” I unwrapped the paper surrounding a lettuce turkey sandwich on rye bread. My stomach growled into action seeking the appeasing nourishment.

  Billy returned behind the wheel of the vehicle. “Aerial needs to die,” he spoke with a mouthful of food.

  “Can we ever just work together without resorting to violence?” May exploded. “Because someone hurt us, we should hurt them back? When will this nasty cycle of aggression stop? I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”

  “I’ve had enough of your pretend, perfect Barbie world.” Frustrated, Billy walked out on us and headed for the bakery, consuming his sandwich along the way.

  “There’s no compromise with Billy,” I noted, enjoying the filling sandwich.

  Wolfgang shrugged his shoulders unconcerned as to what Billy said.

  May emptied the water from the bottle onto the ground. “I don’t know what to do with him.”

  A mild breeze passed through. The gentleness of the air cooled my face and reawakened my purpose to the group and what needed to be done. We belonged together because of our bond in our suffering from the relentless nightmares.

  “I’m going to find Billy.” He needed to calm down, not for my benefit but for his. We needed a rash group decision and he was not helping the cause.

  “Leave him alone,” Wolfgang called out, intimidated by the rock star attitude.

  “We’re a team,” I replied back as a dedicated coach would. “If one member of the team is out of line, then it’s the duty of the rest of the team to confront the misaligned member and to the keep the team intact.”

  Having made a strong point about the need for teamwork, no one dared to disagree. With an outreach mission at hand, I moved towards the entrance of the bakery, through the wide open doors into the seating lounge. There was a fresh aroma of bread being prepared while a staff member wiped down the dining tables at a leisurely pace. No rock star disguised by a baseball cap and shades in sight. I had no idea where Billy disappeared too. I reconsidered calling his name out in a public place for apprehension of any fanatical fans. I tossed the empty sandwich wrapper in the garbage and proceeded to the washroom.

  The single stall was occupied so I went to the john to relieve myself. I washed my hands at the sink and splashed cool water over my face.

  Stepping out of the stall, a smug guy had on a baseball cap and dark shades. “Yo,” Billy called out.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, trying to find the courage to confront Billy about his outburst.

  Billy washed his hands and patted down his sideburns. “Somethink strikes me as odd. You want to guess what I’m thinkink?” He ignored my question.

  I gazed around not sure whether to play along and guess what he was thinking. “I don’t know.”

  Slipping his baseball cap lower, Billy tried to remain inconspicuous. “I’m goink to tell you somethink, but don’t tell anyone until I’m sure.”

  “Sure. What is it?” I stood dumbfounded, unable to ascertain what was going on.

  “Can you believe I had a dream about an underground tunnel a long time ago?” Billy spoke unevenly. “It was the last time I dreamt anythink.”

  “Tunnel? Really?” I was shocked because I never shared any nightmare about this.

  “The dream was more like an enclosed tube than a tunnel but it’s all the same. I just can’t explain it. Let’s just go back to Cadet’s prison camp and make sure I’m wrong. But you got to trust me on this one,” Billy added impromptu.

  Was this a joke? “Go back? Are you sure? He just lied—”

  “Yeah, go back. Crazy, huh?” Billy interrupted but serious about it. “Let’s go.” He reached out for the washroom door.

  I grabbed Billy by the arm and pulled him back. “Hold on a second. There’s no way May and Wolfgang will go along with this.”

  “They will as long as you’re on my side.” Indirectly, Billy asked for my support.

  Billy held out his right hand and I shook it as a token that I was on board with the plan. Despite my earlier conviction to stand up to him, I sided with him on another crazy scheme. And then it dawned on me the list Aerial had for Billy. I pulled out a crumbled piece of paper from my wallet—Aerial’s list for Billy.

  “Please don’t go there.” Billy had enough of Aerial and whatever else had to do with her.

  “Let me reread point number three. Careful, the truth will be there if one only looks. A trip back to the same mine will resurge the missing will.” I looked at Billy’s unbelieving expression. “She knew about the mine, otherwise known as the tunnel.”

  “Let’s just go to the tunnel.” In a typical Billy mannerism, he had enough with talking and wanted to do what he wanted without having to justify his actions to anyone.

  Leaving the bakery together, we returned to the station wagon. May and Wolfgang lingered around the front of the vehicle talking among themselves.

  “I don’t know how to say this nicely so get back in the car,” Billy dictated.


  “Are we going somewhere?” Wolfgang asked, unsure of what was going on.

  “We’re goink back.” Billy started the car, revving it hard like a lion displaying the size of his territory by his roar.

  Complying I jumped in the front seat.

  “Going back? Where?” May looked puzzled by the decision.

  “Just get in,” Billy ordered, expecting the end of any further discussion.

  May and Wolfgang climbed in through the side door, and Billy sped off before Wolfgang could shut the door on his side.

  44

  “You’re crazy!” Wolfgang exclaimed, upset for how Billy sped off without letting him have the chance to properly close the passenger door of the station wagon.

  “Hey,” Billy bellowed in an overdrive manner. “I’m just tryink to be me. Who are you tryink to be?”

  “I don’t need to deal with brash and dangerous actions. I have enough to deal with in my life. I’m trying to make sense of a cruel world that manipulated innocent children and their parents for the sake of an ill-conceived project. There’s no need to jump to irrational actions,” Wolfgang complained, uneasy about Billy’s hurry to hit the road.

  “No one’s goink to tell me that the way I act was preset by some military project.” Billy expressed an underlying emotion of a rebel. “I’m in charge of my fate.”

  “Please Billy, we agree with you but be considerate.” May tried to calm down the situation. “Why are you in such a rush?”

  Annoyed, Billy stopped the car by the side of the highway; he did not appreciate someone challenging his decision. “I want to go back to the tunnel. I don’t know why. Maybe … we need to stop Aerial from causing more damage and maybe at the same time we can get some secret documents on the project,” he declared with an element of meanness in his voice while withholding his true motive—he was following an old teenage nightmare.

  Rightfully so, Wolfgang and May had a look of confusion on their faces. Billy was unclear with his motives and furthermore he rarely explained his bizarre actions. As a group, I felt the best way to get along with everyone was to communicate as clearly as possible. Maybe I was guilty of this myself, but I saw this as an opportunity to help the cause rather than hinder it.