by Alexis Angel
No, it wasn’t sex.
It was midnight dodgeball!
Actually it started at 11 pm and its outside and there’s an open bar you can get drinks at and also an open game of dodgeball that goes on. It’s basically a meat market for young and single ppl to come meet each other and determine if they wanna have sex….err date.
So do you know how hard it is to try and find clothes that look cute but are also functional enough to run around in? Like, you can’t wear heels because you’re on the grass and it’s dodgeball. But you can’t wear sneakers either because they make me look like I’m gonna be exercising and yes, Dodgeball is exercise, but I’m also there to get picked up on. Hello? LOL Just kidding.
So, we get there.
Oh wait, the winner of yesterday’s pop quiz is Carla Tucker! Carla, just send a message back to me for your $25 Amazon gift card, babe!!! I also sent you an email I’ll pretty sure!!
Oh where was I?
OMG! I need to get to writing! I’m gonna email you guys with all the deets of midnight dodgeball later on today. I have a few books to go through also. Kinda left you on a cliffhanger didn’t I? LOL.
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis Angel
Dodgeball #2
Oh I forgot to tell you about dodgeball. Well, I’m all done with my workday now and about to head out to dinner with some friends but I wanted to drop this email to you guys. Just FYI – I’m gonna be doing a lot more giveaways and stuff that’s exclusive to the NL and not just focused on Facebook because I get that a lot of you aren’t on the Book of Face (get it? Facebook haha).
Anyways, so I was at Midnight Dodgeball. So it’s basically playing dodgeball for 20-somethings and 30-somethings who are single as a way to meet people. Did I mention they also have an open bar that’s included for the price of admission? Big mistake this open bar.
Anyways, so we’re there and it’s 11:45 pm and I’m wearing like short shorts and a tank top trying to look cute but the power of wanting a cosmo was too much and I have two. Then I see a friend of mine on the other side who is having a cigarette. I don’t smoke, but when I’ve been drinking I wanna usually get like a drag or three because it makes my head feel like whooo. So I’m walking across the grass with my cosmo when out of nowhere comes this BIG RED RUBBER BALL!
It hits me on the side of the head!
I fall to the ground. Spill my cosmo for sure.
And when I open my eyes a second later, I hear someone say “oh shit” and run over to me.
And the first thing I see is the most beautiful blonde haired face of a man in my life.
He reaches over and helps me up….
Sigh. His name is Dodgeball. And tomorrow I’ll tell you allllllll about him. But tonight I’m gonna go bask in thoughts of him and think about him before I share him with the world lol :p
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis Angel
Dodgeball #3
I can't believe I've been talking about one guy for the last two days...OMG
But the thing is the more I draw it out the more I can still relive it, ya know? Like an ice cream cone you don’t want to end so you only lick with the tip of your tongue. I mean, I can think of something else you only lick with the tip of your tongue too….lol
Anyways, that’s so not what I was thinking two nights ago at Midnight Dodgeball as I lay on the ground, sprawled out, my drink spilled.
But like I said, I opened my eyes and the most lovely looking man was looking down on me.
“I’m sorry I hit you with my balls,” he said to me (or something like that)
“You hit me on the side of your head with your balls,” I replied (At least I hope so. I mean, I was pretty drunk, and I was kinda lusting over this guy, and you know, on the ground because I just got hit with some balls. I might have just been saying “You himme hard balls mah no hurt” or some gibberish lol)
“It’s like my balls were attracted to you, I wasn’t even trying to hit you,” he replied.
“I have a way with balls,” I said back (At this point I’m just guessing what I said now btw)
“You look like you like balls when you’re not getting hit in the head with them though,”
“When you’re not playing with my balls though, maybe you wanna grab another beer?”
So it turns out Dodgeball is actually the guy who arranged the meetup in the first place that morphed into the Midnight Dodgeball activity. He’s cuuuuuute. He’s 33 and a CFO at a San Francisco startup for an app that I never heard of in my life. And he actually did mean to hit me in the head with a rubber ball. He saw me walking and apparently liked the way my ass looked and so figured it would look better on the ground? I have no idea. We talked for a lil bit and then I went home where I passed out and woke up yesterday all hung over.
Anyways, Dodgeball is gonna call sometime this weekend. I told him I’m busy till Sunday so text me then.
I was supposed to have 1 booty call this week but I had to postpone it because I’m working on Dirty Daddy and I wanna get that to ARC this Sunday. I’m actually even postponing my girls night tonight and tomorrow night to rather be Monday night dinner with Freeway and Tuesday night sex with WineBar.
And both guys have texted. Like where am I. But this girl gots to get her work on. So she can release another filthy book to make you ladies sigh!
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis Angel
Lace
Wow ok Dirty Daddy is like 36 hours away...
But I gotta tell you something first.
Soooo, I posted last night before I emailed. I was on Facebook and I was like "Hey I'm gonna go do something naughty" and then left. I didn't say what because come on, have you not figured out that I'm a tease.
Anyways, so turns out Freeway was like you wanna come over. I was like, no, sorry I can't because I have to work, but you can come over. We're talking about sex here, just FYI.
Anyways, that's how I roll. I'm not letting some booty call distract me from my goal of providing thousands of readers a new book because you guys cum first. LOL and yes pun intended.
Anyways, so I was working when Freeway comes over and I'm like wow this is fast we just had our first date and he wants to do it. But I know in my head we're not gonna do it but we can still mess around a lil bit, you know?
So I'm doing my read through of Dirty Daddy and we're watching a movie and then he does his moves which aren't bad so I put my tablet down and start to respond. Anyways, so I'm kissing him and my hands are at his belt and I undo it after we wrestle for a while.
I unzip his zipper and undo the button on his jeans.
I just casually stick my hand inside. I'm not really focusing here because he's like doing stuff to me too.
Anyways, so I pull the pants down a lil' bit.
And I look down.
He's not really commando. He's wearing underwear.
But that's gotta be the tiny pair of briefs I've ever seen.
Actually, those aren't briefs.
That's a thong.
Like a woman's thong.
I know it because I have that same thong from Victoria;s Secret. It s a VERY SEXY LACE THONG IN PEACH MELBA.
So I like look at him, like in a lil' bit of shock.
This story is toooo good and I'm like lolling so hard I'm gonna stop for now and tell you the rest later.
I know, I AM SUCH A TEASE, huh?
LOL ;) Love you too!
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis Angel
Freeway Wha?
OMG I was not trying to leave you on a cliffy...
I honestly had to send another email first to talk about the wrong freebie and then it went on so long I realized that it was gonna be too late to send another so I had to wait.
So anyways I didn't get a chance to send about Freeway yesterday either because I had dance class like normal - remember that's how Freeway picked me up in the first place) and then I h
ad to go meet a girlfriend and talk about Freeway and his panties and then also Dodgeball.
Anyways, lets go back and talk about Freeway and his wardrobe incident. When we last left our hero (I guess) he was sitting on my couch and pawing at my boobs and kissing my neck and I was all like oooh and aahhh that feels good and my hands were getting into his pants.
And I got under his pants and then I felt his undies. Except they were women's undies! Lace!
And insult to injury, a pair that I had! OMG!
So, now I'm looking up at Freeway, (oh btw I don't remember every single thing we said so I'm kinda piecing together and improvising at times) but I'm like "Seriously? A thong?"
And what does Freeway do?
He smirks! Like WTF!
He's like, "Sometimes I just want to feel a bit sexy."
Ok, yeah, that would be a good statement. FROM A GIRL!
Don't get me wrong. "I'm not judging, but dude, that is so not turning me on when you say that," I tell him. Like he's free to do whatever he wants. I'm not gonna tell him it's right or wrong. But I mean, if he wants to stick his dick inside of me, I'd prefer he pull it out from a pair of boxer briefs, ya know?
Is that so much to ask for in this day and age? Has dating really gotten to the point where I should give bonus points for wearing gender-correct underwear?
"I'm gonna need a lil bit to process all this, but I don't feel in the mood anymore, Freeway," I tell him and he's like getting up off the couch and standing up. His pants kinda fall and I get a full view of his thick, hard uhm...member? And how it's encased in a thong.
Like...uhmm...no!
I refuse to compromise on this point! I'll compromise on so much! But not on this!
And the way he was looking at me? Like I was being unfair. Sorry I'm not an equal opportunity nookie giver ya know? Like, I have to sorta be turned on. And women's panties, just not doing it for me right now.
Anyways, Freeway texted me once during the weekend. He's all like I can't believe you're being so judgmental. What did it matter what kind of underwear I was wearing on the freeway? Yeah, if I saw a muscled up guy coming up to me on the freeway in a pair of Victoria Secret Very Sexy Lace Thong you can bet I would have put the pedal to the medal and got the F out of there. Just sayin'.
So yesterday I went to go see my friend. We got a bakers dozen of oysters and a bottle of pinot at Hog Island Oyster Company and she told me everything she knows about Dodgeball and I told her about Freeway. You're gonna love this when you hear about Dodgeball too.
Dunno what to do about Freeway. I mean WineBar is clingy and possessive, but at least he wears boxer briefs. Which is apparently the new standard by which I judge men - do they wear appropriate underwear.
Anyways, I'll tell you later what my friend, OysterGirl, and I spoke about. It'll blow your mind.
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis Angel
Questions Answered
You need to hear what I found out about Dodgeball...
So my good friend and frenemy that I so love (we used to be sorority sisters) told me so much about Dodgeball, but I'll tell you tomorrow bc I'm heading out but I just wanted to share some of the feedback that I got from you guys as you read the Freeway thong whatever the hell you call it. Incident? Episode?
Anne writes: "The episode "Whale of a Tale" of The New Adventures of Old Christine has TWO guys wearing mongs -- man-thongs. And yes, the women are turned off by this"
Well it's a good thing to know that I'm not the only one!
Pam said, "Oh, I so have to respond to what Freeway wore. Femine undies! Do that on your own time buddy! Not on mine. Plus having brothers and also being married for the third time I've done my share of men's laundry. Men Do Not clean themselves good. If ya know what I mean. So if he's wearing a thong. I'm not going there. Yuck!! Plus just cause he's got a great dick ain't no reason to let all the other things wrong go by the wayside. I would give up on that man. Not worth it. Get rid of him while you got the chance. Sorry to hear that he didn't work out."
Chasity asked, "So, panties aside :) how was the package? I can't imagine the lace even holding it in!"
No, girlfriend. Lace does a poor job of covering up dick. And he had a large dick - that's for damn sure. But homeboy has got to figure out some different underoos to wear for me to lay my hands (or mouth) on it...
Aww thank you so much girlfriend! <3 <3 Yeah, I think Freeway is done for now.
Virginia said, "Ugh- a woman's thong?!?! That's just wrong and not manly. Good for you- boxer briefs are so sexy on a man. I would forget freeway guy! There are more fish in the sea