by Sandy Loyd
“You don’t know the half of it.” She huffed out a huge sigh and plopped down on the stool next to him.
“Our table should be ready soon.” As her wine appeared, he added, “So, tell me what’s put that frown on your face.”
“Why do some men have to be such pigs?” Her grimace widened as she reached for her glass.
“Ah.” Paul nodded. “I gather this pig has something to do with one of your jobs?” When she nodded, he gestured with his hand and said, “Let’s hear it! Who is it and what did he do to earn such a low opinion?”
“One of the inspectors on my strip mall project is giving me a hard time and won’t okay the permit on the electrical wiring. There’s nothing wrong with the work. But he keeps citing nonexistent infractions. I think he’s retaliating because I wouldn’t have drinks with him.”
“You want me to beat him up for you?” Paul joked, in an effort to make her laugh.
“Would you?” Her lips curled into a smile and her shoulders relaxed. “I’d derive an enormous amount of pleasure at seeing him bowled over in pain.”
“Let me check my schedule.” He pulled out his cell phone and pretended to peruse his calendar. “I can fit in a beating on Friday. Will that be soon enough?”
She laughed. “I don’t know. I’ll have to get back to you on that.” She sighed contentedly. “It’s amazing what the thought of having someone beat to a pulp does for my mood.”
“I aim to please.” A frown replaced his smile. “This guy’s really giving you a hard time?”
“No more than usual.” She shrugged. “I can get around it because I’ll just keep calling for an inspection. With three or four inspectors available on any given day, I have more than a seventy percent chance of not getting him. Since the odds are with me, it’ll eventually pass. But it’s a hassle, not to mention a lot of wasted time and effort.”
“Just another day of being female in the city, right?” When she nodded, he added, “Hey, you could always marry me and then you’d have a better excuse to keep the jerks off your back.”
Paul groaned inwardly at her sharp intake of air and slight stiffening. How had it come to this? Had he been so clueless to the signals she put out over time? Regret filled him. What distressed him even more about this situation was that he’d spoken totally in jest, but she obviously felt differently.
“I’m sorry. I guess it’s too soon to joke about that between us.” He valued friendship, especially Judith’s. He realized at that moment he wanted her to view him as a friend, like she’d done before they’d started talking about marriage. He vowed to take the necessary steps to make it right.
She cleared her throat and pursed her lips, then met his gaze and hesitated, as if reaching for the right words. “Paul, you know I’m never going to marry you, don’t you?” she said with quiet finality.
Thankful to have the words out and in the open, he searched her sad eyes, his full of remorse.
“Yes, Judith, I know that.” He never wanted her to feel that she had to keep up a barrier in order to deal with him again. When she was about to say something more, he placed a finger over her lips. “You don’t need to say another word. Let’s just leave it as it was—a thought of what might have been. I asked and you said no. End of discussion.”
“Wow!” she said, with a strangled laugh. “What are you drinking?” She picked up his glass and sniffed. “Maybe I should have one of these, too.”
She was obviously trying to put a lighter spin on the seriousness of the situation, but she couldn’t disguise the relief in her voice.
“Same thing I always get.” He held up his glass and changed the subject. “Now, finish telling me about this schmuck who is making your life a living hell. Maybe I can give you some advice on how to handle him.”
“If he gets to be a bigger problem, I’ll call you.” She relaxed on the stool as the hostess walked up with two menus in her hand.
Thank God, their table was ready.
Both followed the woman through the crowded restaurant to a cozy table in the back.
Once seated, Judith flipped open her menu. “So…how was Tahoe?” she asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Fine.” Paul shrugged, deciding on a seafood burrito.
“That’s it?” Judith looked up at him with eyebrows lifted. “Fine?”
He schooled his face to show no emotion, irritated because it seemed all anyone wanted to discuss was his weekend. His time spent in Tahoe was the last thing he wished to rehash. Not willing to make a huge deal out of it, which would cause more interest, he said, “We actually had a great time.”
“You and Kate?” Judith’s expression could only be called incredulous.
Refocusing on the menu, he took a deep breath to curb his annoyance. “She’s not so bad.”
“Wow—that must have been some weekend,” Judith teased. “What happened to change your stubborn mind about her? Especially since I’ve tried for years to get you to lighten up.”
“What’d you expect?” He dug deeper for more patience to alleviate some of her suspicion. “You told me I couldn’t be mean and you told Kate the same thing. So, we were nice to each other.” Offering a wry smile, he shrugged. “Well, for the most part, we were. You’ll be happy to know Judith the Good struck again. We survived the weekend, and Kate’s hide remains intact.” He held up his hands, he continued. “As you can tell, I have every finger and if I took off my shoes, you’d see I have all ten toes.”
“Whoa!” She put up her forefingers in the shape of a cross and tossed out a nervous laugh. “I’m merely interested in your weekend. No need to get testy.” She dropped her hands to her menu. “I appreciate your sacrifice. Thank you for taking my friend up there. I realize it was much more than you signed on for, especially since you got snowed in.”
“Well, you owe me big-time for that,” he said, only too happy over this second opportunity to lighten up the conversation. “In all honesty, Kate’s a great skier and I enjoyed skiing with her on Friday.”
“What about Sunday?”
He resisted the urge to squirm, despite feeling like he was on the witness stand. Judith was obviously just making conversation and had no idea that Kate’s defection was a sore subject, so he answered as honestly as he could. “Kate decided to ski by herself and left me in the locker room. I assumed she made it home okay. She had a date with James last night.”
Judith sighed. “She was so looking forward to their romantic weekend and he gets stuck here.” Not realizing her words sliced into him like a knife, she set down her menu. “She mentioned in passing about maybe going up this weekend with him, so I guess they worked things out.”
He swallowed hard, as the knife twisted. “She’s driving to Tahoe with James this weekend?” Apparently, his instinct about Kate not ending things with James was right on, much to his dismay.
“Mmmm hmmm, it sounded like that.”
Paul’s mood went further south. Somehow, he got through the rest of the meal without making a fool of himself. He kept his comments on autopilot as he conversed with Judith, asking about her work and listening with only half his brain. The other half was busy trying to discern what had happened between Kate and his brother.
After Paul paid the check, he walked Judith out to the street, heading in the direction of her parked car.
“I assume you walked. How about a ride?” she asked, as they approached her vehicle.
“I have a lot on my mind right now,” he said, shaking his head. “I need the exercise to think things over. But thanks for the offer.”
He’d refused rides many times because San Francisco was a walking city and his apartment was only a few blocks away. Still, his refusal clearly surprised her.
She pressed the keyless remote to unlock the car, then considered him with a sad expression as a nervous laugh bubbled up. “I guess I have to get used to that.”
“What?”
“Letting you go.” Her features softened. “I needed to set the r
ecord straight for your benefit, but it still hurts. It was kind of nice to know you were there.”
His smile was quick. “Come here.” He opened his arms and immediately she stepped into them. He kissed her lightly on the lips to seal their friendship. When he leaned back, his grin spread. “Just because things didn’t work out between us, doesn’t mean I’ll stop caring for you. No matter what, you’ll always have a special place in my heart. One of friendship.” He couldn’t resist one more heartfelt hug. “And you are a good friend, Judith.”
Judith hugged him back. “I’m glad we worked things out. I think we should make our non-engagement official—put the word out, so to speak.” She smiled warmly, and reached up to pat his face. “You need to get out there and find someone special.”
Her words and sweet gesture told him he’d achieved what he set out to do, even as a sad thought flashed. He’d already found another someone special. Only she was no more available than Judith had been. He didn’t think he could survive finding a third.
He kissed the top of her head and looked down at her, offering a sincere smile. “That’s much easier said than done. You’re a hard act to follow. But, yeah, go ahead and tweet it, so it’s official.”
He opened her car door and she settled herself inside. “Drive carefully,” he said, shutting the door. “Call me if you need anything.”
He stood with his hands in his pockets, wistfully watching the car drive away before sighing and setting off in the direction of his apartment.
~
Kate rounded the corner and recognized Judith’s green Passat, sorry she’d agreed to walk off their meal when Mike suggested it. She tried not to spy, but couldn’t help zeroing in on the couple talking across the street. It hadn’t been easy to keep the conversation with Mike going, especially after seeing Paul wrap his arms around Judith and kiss her.
Jagged pain had ripped through Kate the entire time she’d spent viewing the intimate scene—one of lovers saying good-bye, rather than just good friends.
She watched Paul walk in the opposite direction, and her stomach clenched. How foolish of her to even consider the possibility that he would actually break up with Judith. Or that he’d be interested in a relationship with her, as she’d half convinced herself last night, figuring Paul’s comments to James meant something. What she’d just witnessed belied the idea and left her feeling totally bereft. There was no mistaking the love between her best friend and Paul.
Kate mentally shook herself, forcing her attention back to her date. She was able to coherently answer Mike’s questions as they walked, but most of her sentences consisted of one or two words. Thankfully, they neared her apartment building quickly and, less than a minute later, she was unlocking her door. Her only wish was to make it inside without falling apart.
Mike cleared his throat, drawing her out of her thoughts. “Is something wrong?” he asked, staring at her intently.
“No,” she lied, suddenly realizing her mooning over Paul wasn’t fair to Mike. He’d been amusing company all evening and she couldn’t allow her mood to ruin things now. He may not be Paul, but he was fun and the first guy besides a Morrison who interested her.
“Are you sure?” Concern shone in his gaze. “Because, up until a few minutes ago, I thought things were going great. You were laughing at my jokes and telling your own. Then, suddenly it was as if a light bulb turned off. Your brightness stopped.” He observed her for several long seconds. “Such a big change makes me wonder if I said something wrong.”
“No. Nothing like that.” Using a great deal of willpower, Kate forced a quick laugh, shoving the pain and Paul out of her mind, and concentrated on the guy in front of her. She exhaled a deep breath and offered a wry smile. “I’m sorry. You caught me daydreaming about work and one of my hard-to-please customers.”
“Gee, thanks. And here I thought we were connecting and you found my conversation riveting.” His eyes held a mischievous sparkle as he added, “Guess this means you’re not inviting me in for a nightcap?”
“Sorry.” She winced. “I’m a little old-fashioned. It’s a little too soon for nightcaps.” She shrugged. “And I do need to take care of a few business matters.” Her smile turned more apologetic. “But thanks for a wonderful evening. I had fun.”
He grinned, clearly taking her reply in stride. “Can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I’m not totally dissuaded, either.” He picked up her hand and laced his fingers with hers. He brought their intertwined fingers to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. “The thanks is mine. I had a great time. Can we do it again sometime?”
Kate nodded and her smile spread into a wide grin. “I’d like that.”
He released her hand and took her chin with his forefinger and thumb, tipping her head back. He bent forward and his lips met Kate’s in a soft, gentle kiss that sent tingles up and down her spine. Though not the same as kissing Paul or James, it was nice and made her think there would be life after the Morrisons.
Mike broke the connection and stepped back. “How ’bout Saturday? Dinner and a movie?”
Kate was caught a little off guard by the invitation, but his offer was a perfect solution to her dilemma with James. She didn’t want to risk bumping into Paul in Tahoe. “I think Saturday would be perfect.”
“Great! I’ll pick you up at seven, okay?”
“Seven’s fine.” She turned, unlocked her door, and added before going inside, “I’ll see you then.”
Chapter 15
Paul closed the file, disgusted because his attention span was shot. He reached for the remote. For an hour, he pretended to watch some thriller, yet stewed the entire time. He eventually gave up and went to bed only to toss and turn, while wondering what to do about Kate. Finally, around two he dozed, having found no solutions.
Wide awake at his usual five a.m., seconds before the alarm sounded, he shut it off and lay there, his thoughts still centered on Kate.
In a nanosecond, his past conversations with Judith flew through his mind, full of her overt messages that he’d ignored. He stared at the dark ceiling, and realized he’d missed her nonverbal cues, as well. Thinking back to Kate and their weekend together, he hadn’t noticed any similar cues that told him to keep his distance. To the contrary, her personality and body language spoke to him, pulling him closer. Obviously, the attraction was mutual. Had he misunderstood Kate’s messages, just as he had Judith’s all those years? That thought had him reevaluating their last day together.
He rolled out of bed and headed for the shower as more questions arose.
Why had she left him in the locker room? Why the note? She’d obviously decided to leave him earlier, so why couldn’t she tell him to his face? He never took her for a coward. If anything, she was too ballsy—demanding what she wanted instead of waiting for it to come to her—so why take the easy way out and run?
He turned on the water and waited until it warmed up before stepping inside, his thoughts racing to find answers.
Unless she was also affected by what they’d shared. Had she used her words and actions as barriers to keep him from getting closer? Mulling over the idea, as the hot water ran over his body, he decided it made the most sense. Once he accepted she might have run from what she felt, he viewed her actions differently, more objectively, which led to another conclusion. Kate might have agreed to the trip to Tahoe this weekend with James out of misplaced guilt due to what happened between her and Paul. He grinned. That also made sense.
Kate didn’t love James. If so, she never would have responded to his kisses like she had. That was the main nonverbal cue he couldn’t dismiss.
Paul turned off the water and grabbed a towel. Elation spiked, giving his energy level a boost.
“I’ve been an idiot,” he murmured, looking at his face in the mirror. He couldn’t let things go, hoping they’d work out, without doing something.
Even though Kate’s actions pierced his heart, he could understand her motives. They didn’t excuse her behavi
or, but did make him feel as if he still had something to fight for.
He dressed quickly, grabbed his electric razor, and headed for the kitchen and breakfast as his mind churned, moving to his next problem…James.
Paul knew James might take exception to his brother taking away something he thought of as his—and Kate fit that description. But James didn’t love Kate. Not enough for a lifetime. Of that, he was certain. So why would James ask her to go skiing with him? He’d have to find out, which meant confronting his brother and risking his irritation. Kate wanted commitment, something he could give. She was definitely worth fighting for, as was that something special they shared. He’d be a fool not to pursue her until he had her right where he wanted her, by his side. For a lifetime.
His mood soared higher. Since he’d gotten behind on work, he planned to accomplish as much as he could before driving to Tahoe this afternoon. He’d confront them together and see what was what. Of course, there was always the possibility that somehow his thought processes were still screwed up.
What if she really did love James?
“Nah,” he said, shaking his head.
He grinned and focused on eating his breakfast, eager to begin the day.
~
“Maybe next time,” James said, mildly disappointed that Kate was bailing on the trip to Tahoe. “Okay. Don’t be a stranger.” He hung up, leaned back in his chair, and swiveled to take in the view out the spacious wall of windows.
In the two days since she’d broken up with him, he’d waited for the pain to hit. Since all he’d felt was a sense of relief—once the shock had worn off and the bruise to his ego had eased somewhat—he couldn’t dismiss her claims. True, Kate had her faults, but he should have made more of an attempt to talk things out rather than hide his head in the sand. No one deserved that, especially Kate. He had been a tad selfish and self-absorbed for not putting her needs in front of his own. The thought brought him pretty low, and suddenly he wanted to help. But how?
He focused on the busy street below and a few pedestrians who were waiting at the light.