Revel

by Maurissa Guibord

  I swam closer, wondering why I did, yet at the same time understanding it completely. When Jax was around, everything I did was based on impulse, on instinct.

  And every instinct was the same.

  Closer.

  I couldn’t help but let my eyes drift to his chest and the network of horrendous scars. “How did you get those?”

  He glanced down. “There was a time when I cared about something, very much. This was the price I paid for caring.”

  “What was it that you cared about?”

  “My clan,” he answered. “I once sought to be leader. In part to please my father, Xarras. He’s a brilliant man, but quiet and reserved, always in the shadows of those louder and more aggressive than himself. But he thought I would be a good leader. He approved of my ideas to change things, to bring progress to our people.” Jax gave me a grim half smile that accentuated the hard contours of his face. “We’ve lived so long by the old customs that we don’t know anything else. And the old ways don’t really fit this world anymore.”

  I remembered Xarras from when Mikos brought me before the Council. He did seem quiet, more statesmanlike than Lukus, the clan leader. But Lukus seemed to respect his opinions and listened to his advice. Good thing for me. Otherwise, Lukus might have followed Dona’s idea of feeding me to the crabs. Apparently one of those good old ways Jax was talking about.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  I looked at him. “I was thinking that your father was right. You would be a good leader.”

  I would follow you. Anywhere.

  The thought came into my head without warning. I cleared my throat and tried to get my mind back on the subject. “What happened?”

  “Someone betrayed me,” said Jax. “Someone, I don’t know who, told the clan leader that I was raising a revolt against him. I was punished for treason.” He looked down at himself. “I was entombed in the Eluvian Trench for three days. So deep and dark that the only life inside it are the ravenous giant squid. Their tentacles cut like razors.”

  “But you’re a demigod. Don’t you have miraculous healing powers or something?”

  Jax’s smile was rueful. “We are not invincible. Any godlike qualities we inherited from Poseidon have been diluted through the generations. We are much closer to mortal than to immortal.”

  The admission obviously irked him.

  “Besides, the Eluvian Trench is a hundred leagues from this island. I was weakened by my distance from home.”

  “From the Archelon.”

  “Yes.”

  As Jax spoke, I had the almost irresistible urge to reach out, to touch one of the scars. As if I could soothe it or make it go away. Silly.

  “Who betrayed you?” I asked instead, although in my mind a shadowy image of his brother Mikos was forming. I could imagine him doing something sneaky like that. Maybe he had plans to be leader himself, even if it meant having to eliminate his brother.

  “I have my suspicions,” said Jax, as if he echoed my own thoughts. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. I have no designs on leading this clan. They spend their time on frivolous amusements. Hunting and fighting and all the while waiting for the day when the glory of our ancestors will return. I simply don’t care anymore.”

  “You must care about something.”

  Jax looked down at me. “No.” He frowned. “I don’t know why I tell you these things. It has been a long time since I’ve had someone to talk to.”

  “Sometimes it’s easier to tell things to a stranger.”

  “Here, it’s very calm. Lie back in the water,” he said. “If you want to.”

  I shook my head. “No. I can’t float. I’ll get water up my nose and it will be a whole thing. With flailing.”

  Jax smiled. It made his eyes crinkle at the corners and transformed his face into something almost beguiling. Somewhere a lightning-rod switch got flipped. An electric current sizzled between his eyes and mine and some hot, melty place in the center of my chest.

  “You’ll be safe. I promise you.” Jax came closer and, almost tentatively, put one hand on the small of my back.

  Somehow I believed him.

  I leaned my head back and felt the water creep over my scalp and tug gently at my hair. My arms drifted.

  “Now let go,” he said.

  My feet left the bottom as I arched my back deeply, feeling Jax’s hand, warm and firm, inside the curve of my spine. The water closed over my ears, blocking out everything but a soothing hiss. I closed my eyes and floated, moving with the gentle rise and fall of the water.

  Let go.

  I did. The water no longer felt like something separate from me. I was weightless. Untethered from the world. The only thing that held me, my only anchor as the whole earth turned beneath me, was Jax’s hand against my skin.

  I’m not sure how long we stayed like that; it probably wasn’t the lifetime that I imagined. But when I opened my eyes, the sun had dropped lower and lit the air; everything seemed highlighted with gold. Jax stood looking down at me, his silhouette etched against the twilight.

  I’d never felt so exposed.

  I’d never felt so powerful.

  I wanted him to kiss me.

  “What?” he said.

  “What? I didn’t say anything.”

  God, did I?

  I stood up unsteadily, clumsy and dripping again. I was aware of him just behind me, his hand still on my back. I turned my head, searching for something to say, but Jax put a hand to my neck, urging my head back as he bent forward and kissed me.

  Our lips touched. The rest of my body completed a slow half circle as he turned me in his arms to face him. His kisses were gentle, tasting caresses on my mouth.

  “You’ve done something to me,” he said. His breath was ragged as his lips traced a line to my ear.

  “I think it’s the other way around,” I whispered, pulling him back to my mouth.

  I twisted my fingers through the dark coils of his hair. Just like before, I was floating. Only two words in my mind.

  Closer, Jax.

  He broke away gently, putting arm’s-length distance between us. He was looking at me oddly.

  “What’s wrong?” I whispered.

  “This is,” he said. He stepped back. “You’re a Lander. I apologize for any offense.” He turned away, going deeper into the water. As he did he transformed, the fin on his back growing and spreading like a magnificent wing.

  “What? Wait. When will I see you again?” I asked. My mind fumbled for something to say. “At Revel?”

  He stopped in the water and turned. He looked a little shocked, I thought.

  “Revel?” he repeated in a voice that had grown much colder. The smile was gone. The Jax who stood before me now was the fallen angel with hard, brooding eyes. “Yes,” he said at last, “if you wish. Goodbye, Lander.”

  With that he twisted and dove away, disappearing beneath the water.

  CHAPTER 15

  Something was happening to me. As if I was under some kind of spell, I found myself thinking about Jax—and about the water—constantly. Maybe he’d done something to me with that first touch, that first kiss.

  It was becoming a big problem. Easy enough for Sean to tell me to stay out of the water. He didn’t know how it drew me. Beyond the sheer physical pleasure I had in being immersed, there were other things. I tried to stay away, but after a little while my throat began to feel scratchy. My voice was hoarse no matter how much water I drank. My skin felt dry, and my clothing felt like sandpaper against it.

  Maybe it was all in my head. I was fascinated with Jax and he was in the water, so naturally that was where I wanted to be. But after his abrupt farewell the other day—no, more like his dismissal of me—I seriously doubted this was any more than a game to him.

  If I was a Lander, as he called me, maybe I should start acting like one. I should hang out with my own kind of people, not some moody demigod.

  Down at the dock, Buddy started barking as soon as he sa
w me, and came bounding to greet me like a canine King Kong. I bent down to hug him.

  “Yeah, you’re growing on me,” I whispered as he licked my hand, and whatever else he could reach before I blocked him.

  I found Sean working with the lobster traps on the Widowsong. The sight of him, so tall and strong and competent, so normal, made me feel at ease. I didn’t have the crazy, breathless feelings I had when I was near Jax, but maybe that was for the best.

  “Do you need any help?” I asked.

  “You want to bait lobster traps?” Sean asked dubiously. “You must really be bored.”

  I wasn’t bored, simply trying to stay out of the water, and out of trouble, as Sean had put it. I shrugged and said, “I want to learn about what you do, that’s all.”

  “Okay, sure. Here. Stuff this bag with fish guts.”

  He pointed to a bucket at my feet, filled with cut-up fish. Little bulgy eyes stared up at me and little mouths gaped. “Um.” I swallowed. “Maybe I’ll just watch.”

  Sean laughed. “Sure.”

  “How does it work?” I asked, eyeing the lobster trap.

  He tied a mesh bag filled with bait and hung it inside the front part of the cage-like trap. “This is called the kitchen,” he said. “Where we put the food. And this is the parlor.” He pointed to the end of a funnel-shaped tunnel that opened into another chamber of the trap. “Mr. Lobster comes inside the parlor, then he can’t get back out.”

  I sighed. “You had to call him Mr. Lobster, didn’t you? Now I feel bad.”

  “Yeah, well,” said Sean, quirking a smile. “I throw all the cute ones back, okay?”

  “Great. Now I feel bad for the homely ones.” Buddy nudged up against me and I rubbed behind his ears, then scratched the thick ruff of fur at his neck. “How long does it take to catch them?”

  “We set the pots in the morning and collect them the next day,” said Sean. “The Glauks usually help out, herding the lobsters toward the pots. That’s how we get the biggest and the best. Gunn’s Lobster is the finest on the coast,” he said, with obvious pride. “The wholesalers in Portland can’t figure out what our secret is.”

  “Bet they’d be pretty surprised if they did.” I pressed the toe of my sneaker against the railing of the boat. “Could I come lobstering with you sometime, when you go out?”

  “No,” said Sean. “Sorry. It’s …”

  “Let me guess, not allowed,” I finished with a huff of impatience.

  “I was going to say dangerous,” Sean replied. “But, yeah, it’s against the rules too.”

  I nodded. “Why dangerous? What’s going on? Have there been more Icers?”

  “No,” he said uneasily. “It’s been quiet. Don’t worry about that stuff, Delia. Okay? That’s my job.”

  I sighed and fluttered my lashes. “My hero.”

  His face grew somber as he looked at me. “Well, yeah,” he said softly. “I’d like to be.”

  Something in his expression deflated all my sarcasm.

  He peeled the heavy yellow gloves from his hands and seemed to choose his words carefully.

  “After you lost your mom,” he asked, “how did you keep going?”

  I hesitated, wondering why he was asking me this. Maybe Sean was still grieving for his dad, I thought with a pang. Or maybe his mom’s condition was more serious than I’d realized. Maybe sharing would help him somehow.

  “For a long time it seemed like I didn’t,” I told him. “Keep going, I mean. Everything just went on around me, past me. And I didn’t really care. After a while I started moving again, you know, inside. But slowly. Sort of on autopilot.”

  Sean nodded and looked at his fingernails. “And how long did it hurt?” he asked quietly.

  “It still hurts,” I said. “But I’m okay.”

  Sean always seemed so strong, so independent. I wished he would let me in a little. “You know, if you ever want to talk about your dad or anything, I’m a pretty good listener.”

  Sean nodded. “Thanks. I’m good.” He frowned. “What made you want to come here to Trespass?”

  “I wanted to bring Mom back to where she was born,” I said softly. “And I wanted to find out if it could be a home for me too.”

  “So what do you think?” asked Sean. “You like it here a little bit, don’t you?”

  I smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah, I do like it here.”

  “Revel is in less than a week,” Zuzu said dreamily, resting her chin in one hand. “I can hardly wait.”

  We were at her house, one of the small bungalows that sat on the cliffs overlooking Trespass harbor and the dock. Zuzu’s mother was a plump, friendly woman with curly black hair who fussed over Zuzu constantly. “I’m so glad that Zuzu has a nice girl like you to spend time with,” she told me in her soft, fluttery voice as she poured us iced tea. “And I don’t pay any attention to those things people are saying in the village. We’re very open-minded in this household.”

  “What things?” I asked.

  “Oh, Mom,” said Zuzu.

  “Well …” Zuzu’s mother patted her throat nervously. “The way your mother left, of course. And all the strange things that have happened since you came, dear.” She turned to Zuzu. “Do you know that Ned Laquinn went out to pull traps yesterday and there was not a single lobster in them? Not one.”

  I frowned. Sean hadn’t told me anything about trouble with the lobster catches. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t. “I don’t have anything to do with that,” I told her. “How could I? And you don’t always catch something when you go fishing. Surely that happens sometimes.”

  “Not here,” Zuzu’s mother murmured as she adjusted a crystal barrette in Zuzu’s hair.

  “You two are going to be the prettiest girls at Revel,” she said, smiling and giving her daughter’s shoulders a squeeze. “And the First Ones will smile on us and give their blessing on the fishing boats. It’s going to be a good year, I can just feel it. Why don’t you girls take your drinks upstairs? You could show Delia your dress.”

  When Zuzu and I were alone in her room, I asked, “So what’s the big deal about Revel anyway?” I’d seen the preparations taking place in the village center. Strings of little white lights were being wrapped around anything standing, and green and blue starfish decorations hung in the windows of all the shops. “Gran goes all inscrutable about it every time I bring the subject up.”

  Zuzu took a cardboard box down from the top shelf of her closet and set it on her bed. “Revel is the ceremony we have every year on the night of the summer solstice. This is the first year I’m eligible; you have to be sixteen.”

  I hadn’t realized that Zuzu was actually younger than me. Maybe because she always seemed so confident, so sure of herself and her place here on the island.

  “Reilly seemed kind of upset when you brought it up,” I said.

  Zuzu rolled her eyes. “Reilly likes to pretend he’s my older, wiser brother or something. You wouldn’t know it by looking at him, but the guy’s kind of intense.” She opened the tissue-lined box and lifted out a tunic-style dress. It unfolded in a graceful cascade of silky white fabric. “They’re passed down from mother to daughter,” she said with pride.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  Zuzu raised a corner of the material to her cheek and smiled. Then she tossed a fall of mahogany hair over her shoulder and leaned toward me with a conspiratorial look, her green eyes gleaming. “So. The Revel. Every year, any unmarried girl over the age of sixteen from Trespass gets presented.”

  I took a sip of my iced tea and sat on the edge of her bed. “You get presented? It sounds like a debutante ball or something.”

  “For sex.”

  I choked.

  Zuzu slapped me on the back. “Watch the dress, Delia. Are you okay?”

  “No. Not really,” I sputtered. “You’re … not kidding. You mean with them, the First Ones? That’s just wrong. It’s barbaric.”

  “It’s an honor,” Zuzu declared, raising her chin. />
  “Oh, really. For who?”

  She didn’t answer me, only folded her dress and, with a last reverent touch of the smooth fabric, put it back in the box. How could Zuzu treat this so casually? How could this whole community look the other way as this happened? Not even that, I realized. They seemed to encourage it.

  It was obscene.

  “Don’t worry. I don’t think they would choose you.”

  “Good,” I exclaimed, and then sat back and reflected on this. “Why?” I demanded. “What’s wrong with me?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with you,” said Zuzu in a reassuring tone that made me want to heave something at her. “I just mean being a stranger and everything.” She sighed. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I knew you wouldn’t understand. And now you’re upset.”

  I was sick of people on this island telling me I wouldn’t understand. “I’m not upset,” I said, in what I thought was a pretty calm voice under the circumstances. “Why don’t you explain it to me.”

  Zuzu folded her arms. “The First Ones need us to strengthen their bloodlines. It’s some kind of inbreeding thing. If there aren’t some human genes mixed in there somewhere, they end up having monsters for children. Every summer at Revel the young men of the clan can choose to visit with the girls of Trespass. It’s only for procreation. First Ones only choose one of their own kind as mates.”

  “But why would you want to do this?”

  “Because it’s important,” said Zuzu, her eyes shining. “For the good of all of us. And,” she added, after a moment’s hesitation, “if you get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby to the clan, well, you’re pretty much set for life. Anything you want. You live like a queen.”

  “But I thought you and Reilly were together,” I said.

  Zuzu smiled. “Really? Well, maybe someday, I think,” she said, her cheeks turning pink. “He’s incredibly smart, you know?” She shook her head. “But that doesn’t have anything to do with this. It’s separate. This is for the island; we have to remember that.”