Shattered Blue: A Romantic Thriller

by Jane Taylor Starwood

  “Well, honey, we don’t get to talk much, do we?” Gram said. “Let’s go inside and I’ll tell you all about Doug, and you can tell me all about Matt.”

  “It’s not the same, Gram.” Shane felt her face growing warm. “Matt and I aren’t engaged.” Out of the tail of her eye she caught Matt’s crooked grin.

  Gram looked at Matt, then at Shane, and her mouth turned up into a smile. “Let’s just go inside and talk, honey.”

  She put her arm around Shane’s waist and steered her into the motel room, leaving the two men in the parking lot with their butts parked on their respective vehicles, arms crossed in identical poses.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Inside the room, Shane hugged her grandmother again, then stood back and gazed at her. “You look fantastic, Gram,” she said. “You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you.”

  Gram twirled around, showing off her trim figure. “Nearly thirty pounds,” she said. “And I’ve got muscles. Feel that.”

  She held out her arm, flexing her bicep. Shane squeezed tentatively, then a little harder. “Wow, you do have muscles.”

  “It’s all because of Doug,” she said. “We power-walk three miles around the neighborhood, six days a week, and he showed me how to use light weights. I feel better than I have in decades. My cholesterol is way down, my bones are as strong as a forty-year-old’s, and that pesky high blood pressure is gone with the wind. My doctor can’t believe the changes in me.”

  Shane took her hands and squeezed them. “Gram, I’m so proud of you. And I’m happy you found Doug, really. He seems like a great guy. A little scary, but a great guy. And he’s obviously good for you.”

  Gram smiled slyly, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “He’s a younger man, you know.”

  “He can’t be that much younger than you.”

  “He just turned sixty-seven, and I’ll be seventy-two next month.”

  “Well, aren’t you the cradle-robber?”

  Gram laughed. “I’m so happy, Shane. After your grandfather died, I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again. And now look at me, giddy as a schoolgirl and twice as silly.”

  Shane’s eyes filled with tears. “Gramps would want you to be happy again, Gram.”

  “I know he would.” She sighed. “Let’s sit down. I may be stronger than I used to be, but these old legs do need to rest now and then.”

  Shane pulled the room’s single chair closer to the bed, gestured for Gram to sit there, and perched on the bed cross-legged.

  Gram studied Shane’s face for a moment, then reached out and cupped her cheek. “And what about you, my darling girl? Are you happy? Have you finally laid your ghosts to rest?”

  Shane pressed her grandmother’s soft, warm hand against her face, then kissed the palm. All at once her heart felt full, too large for her body to hold. Memories, sweet and poignant, swirled through her mind.

  Running along the sand with her father, kite string spooling into the summer sky, while her mother called encouragement from beneath a red beach umbrella. Sitting beside her father on their old brown couch, sharing a huge bowl of popcorn, watching his beloved Westerns. Standing on a chair in Gram’s kitchen, stirring a bowl of devil’s food cake batter with a big wooden spoon. Clambering up the steps of a bright yellow school bus, watching her mother grow smaller and smaller through the window. Riding on her father’s shoulders, waving to the neighbors outside their pastel stucco houses, singing silly, made-up songs. Why did Sally dilly dally walking down the street? Well, Sir Lumpkin, well, Sir Pumpkin, she had two left feet!

  Memories that stopped forever when she was six, the day the policemen came to the house and told them her father had been killed in a car crash on a fog-bound freeway.

  Her happy memories were frozen in another time, as if trapped in amber. But her ghosts? They haunted her still. Before she could stop them, tears spilled over and coursed down her face.

  Gram came out of the chair and drew Shane close. “Oh, my dear,” she said. “I don’t know what happened to you all those years ago, and I’m not going to ask. You’ll tell me someday, if you want to. I do know it changed you, made you withdrawn and unhappy. Your mother was so busy with her exciting new life that she couldn’t see it. She wanted to believe it was just normal growing pains and the move to New York.

  “How I wish we’d been closer to you, could have seen you more often. I would have seen it clearly then. I would have insisted on—”

  Shane couldn’t stand it any longer; she interrupted the flow of words. “Gram, stop,” she said. She pulled away gently and touched her grandmother’s soft, lined cheek. “Please don’t blame yourself. Believe me, you couldn’t have helped.”

  “Maybe so, Shannon— Oh, dear. I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget.”

  “It’s all right, Gram.”

  “You’ll always be Shannon to me.”

  “I know. It’s all right, really. I’m still Shannon.”

  Gram smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her granddaughter’s ear. “Shannon,” she said, “you need to listen to me now, really listen.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “Are you? Because this is the most important thing I’ve ever said to you.”

  “What is it, Gram? I’m listening, I promise.”

  Gram took a deep breath, then fixed Shane with a steady blue gaze. “Honey, whatever happened to you, however terrible it was, you have to let it go now,” she said. “For your own sake and the sake of everyone who loves you, you have to put it in the past and let it go.”

  Shane went with her first instinct, reassurance. “I have let it go, Gram.”

  “Oh? Then what were those tears about?”

  “Memories, that’s all. Memories of Daddy, mostly.”

  Her grandmother smiled sadly. “Don’t try to fool me. I can see the truth in your eyes. They’re the window to your heart, and your heart is holding on to so much pain. And please don’t tell me I’d have to be a psychic to see that. I know you like my own soul. Your father could never hide anything from me. It annoyed the hell out of him, if you want to know the truth. And neither can you.”

  Shane’s heart skipped a beat and then began thudding slowly. She imagined if she looked down, she would see it hammering beneath her clothes. Because Gram was right, of course, and Shane was terrified that what her grandmother was asking her to do was impossible. What if, as hard as she tried, she could never let the terrible memories go?

  “You’re the only one who knows me, Gram, the only one who loves me,” Shane whispered. And if she couldn’t do it, couldn’t let the past go, the only one who ever would.

  “Now, you and I both know that’s not true. All you have to do is watch that young man’s face every time he looks at you.”

  Shane’s head came up and Gram wiped away her tears, gentle fingertips on her cheeks.

  “Matt?” Shane said.

  “He loves you, or I’m a monkey’s uncle. And you love him. You can’t fool an old woman. Remember, I can see into your heart.”

  Shane shook her head. “We just met a few days ago, Gram. We hardly know each other.”

  “Nonsense. You know everything you need to know.” She framed her granddaughter’s face with her hands. “Don’t let this chance pass you by. If you do, you’ll regret it every day, for the rest of your life.”

  Her grandmother was right about one thing at least. She did love Matt. As impossible as it seemed, she loved him with all her heart, she knew that now. But her mind was in turmoil. Without knowing the whole truth, how could Gram possibly understand what was holding her back? She didn’t want to tell her, didn’t want her to know what she’d suffered at her stepbrother’s hands. It would hurt her too much.

  But if Gram was right about Matt, too, if he did love her, then didn’t she have to tell him everything? It wouldn’t be fair to keep it from him, would it?

  She swallowed hard. “Gram,” she said, “do you think I should tell Matt about— About what happened to me?�
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  Gram smiled past the tears in her own eyes. “Yes, I do,” she said. “He’s the one person in the world you really must tell.”

  Suddenly cold, Shane shivered. “But what if, after I tell him—” She couldn’t continue.

  When Gram answered, her voice held a world of tenderness. “What if he doesn’t love you anymore?”

  Sunk in utter misery, she could only nod.

  “Look at me,” Gram said, gently lifting her granddaughter’s chin until she was looking into her eyes. “I know I’ve just met him, but anyone can see Matt’s a good, kind man. Doug likes him, and believe me, that’s saying a lot.”

  “How do you know Doug likes him?”

  “Do you think he’d have brought me here otherwise? He not only likes him, he trusted him almost on sight, and that man does not suffer fools.”

  Shane smiled. “No, I can see that. What’s his story, Gram?”

  “Oh, no, you’re not getting me to change the subject that easily.” She took her granddaughter’s hand, caressed it. “Look what Matt did for you. Can’t you see how extraordinary it is? He’s so concerned with your happiness that he drove you six-hundred miles—one way, mind you—just to see a foolish old woman.”

  “You’re not—”

  “Now, let me finish. Whatever happened to you in New York, no matter how bad it was, if Matt truly loves you, telling him isn’t going to make him stop. Everything that ever happened to you is part of who you are.”

  She held both of Shane’s hands in hers as she continued. “Tell him, and face the possibility of a life together without secrets. Let his love mend you. That’s what love is for. And that’s the best advice this foolish old woman can offer.”

  Shane looked into her grandmother’s eyes, and then she reached out to embrace her.

  “Oh, Gram,” she said, “you foolish old woman. I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too,” Gram said. She patted Shane’s back, then gently broke the embrace. “Now go splash some water on your pretty face and let’s get our men to take us out for a nice lunch. I’m starving!”

  With a much lighter heart, Shane did as her grandmother asked.

  TWENTY-THREE

  Doug insisted on treating them all to lunch at his favorite steak house in a suburban shopping center.

  Shane thought the restaurant was unlikely to be frequented by media types. Even though she felt ridiculously paranoid, she turned to her grandmother during lunch and quietly asked if she’d been bothered recently by reporters.

  Gram grinned. “That woman from the TV news called a few months ago, asking if I knew where you were. She said she’d put me on camera, like that would make me sit up and beg to rat you out.”

  Shane frowned. “I’m sorry, Gram. I’d hoped that would have stopped by now.”

  “Don’t you worry, honey. I told her to let me think about it a minute and then I handed the phone to Doug.”

  “And what did Doug do?”

  “Let’s just say that gal won’t be calling me back any time soon. I expect her ear’s still blistered.”

  Shane looked over at Doug, who gave her a sly wink as he shoveled a hunk of steak and mashed potatoes into his mouth.

  Shane laughed and said, “Gram, where did you find this treasure of a man?”

  “I told you, he moved in next door. That’s where all the best men come from, didn’t you know?”

  Shane looked at Matt to find him watching her with a bemused expression. “What?” she asked.

  “Nothing,” Matt said, and tucked into his steak.

  Back at the motel, Gram insisted that Doug leave her there and let Matt drive her home later. “You’ve got things to do, Doug, and I want to spend more time with my granddaughter.”

  Doug frowned, squinted at Matt, rubbed a hand over his chin and finally gave in. “You get her home safe, you hear,” he said, “or I’m coming after you.”

  “You’ve got my word on it,” Matt replied.

  Doug was about to climb into his Hummer when Shane put a hand on his arm. “Doug,” she said. He turned and squinted at her. “Thanks for taking such good care of Gram.”

  Doug smiled, digging his crow’s feet deeper. “My pleasure, ma’am.”

  Shane thought if he’d been wearing a Stetson, he’d have tipped it. As they watched Doug drive away, she said, “Gram, you’re one lucky cowgirl.”

  “Aren’t I just?”

  After the two women had disappeared once more behind Shane’s door, Matt went into his room, kicked off his shoes, settled on the bed, and downloaded an Elmore Leonard novel to his smartphone.

  About three hours later a knock on the door woke him from a light doze. He got up and opened the door to see Shane and Gram standing there with their arms around each other’s waists. The sun had gone down but the air outside was still bone-dry and oven-hot.

  “Gram’s tired,” Shane said. “It’s time to take her home.”

  Gram yawned to prove the point, then she laughed, a hearty bark that once again reminded Matt of Shane.

  “I hate to leave,” Gram said, “but I need my beauty rest.”

  Matt laced on his work boots while they said their good-byes, then he and Gram climbed into his truck. Shane waved them out of sight, went into her room and shut the door.

  In the truck, Gram turned to Matt and smiled. “Thank you for bringing my granddaughter to see me,” she said. “I can’t tell you how wonderful it’s been.”

  “I was happy to do it,” Matt replied.

  “Well, it means the world to me. She’s had a rough time of it.”

  “I know. Or at least I know part of it.”

  “But you know there’s more.”

  He frowned as he navigated the on-ramp and merged with the flow of traffic. “Yeah. Something she can’t, or won’t, talk about.”

  “I don’t think she’s ever told anybody the whole story. I’m hoping she’ll be able to tell you.”

  “I hope so, too, Ms. Malone.”

  “Oh, don’t call me Ms. Malone! It’s so formal, and I feel like we’re friends already. Please, call me Susan.”

  Matt grinned at her. “Okay, Susan.”

  “Naturally, after you marry my granddaughter, you can call me Gram.”

  Matt laughed. “Whoa! You’re moving pretty fast, there, Susan.”

  “You don’t have to pretend with me, young man. I can see how much you love her and how much she loves you. And don’t give me that bull about hardly knowing each other. Shannon— I guess I can call her Shannon with you, since you know that part of it.”

  “All right with me.”

  “Shannon tried that lame excuse and I shot her down, too. Do you know how long it took me to fall in love with her grandfather?”

  Matt shook his head.

  “No time at all, that’s how long. I looked at him and he looked at me, and we both knew, just like that.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Love doesn’t always take time, not when you find the right one. It’s like finding the other half of your heart, when you didn’t even know it was missing.”

  Matt didn’t even have to think about it as her words clicked into place. Susan was right. That’s exactly what it felt like.

  Gram smiled and patted his arm. “You’re a good boy, Matt. I’m counting on you to take good care of my Shannon.”

  “I will, if she’ll let me.”

  “Don’t you worry. I have a feeling everything’s going to work out just fine. There’ll be some bumps in the road, of course. There always are. But you two are going to be just fine.”

  A short while later Matt pulled up in front of 127 Desert Rose Lane and parked behind the shiny black Hummer. By the time he’d walked around to open the passenger door Doug was ambling down the flagstone path.

  “Got her home safe, I see.”

  “Told you I would, didn’t I?” Matt helped Gram down from the cab and kissed her on the cheek. She looked up at him and winked.

  “You go on and g
et busy, young man,” she said. “I haven’t got all the time in the world. I want to see my great-grandchildren before I kick off.”

  Doug barked out a hoarse laugh. “Well, pal,” he said, “I guess you’ve got your marching orders. Good luck with that.” He stuck out his hand and Matt shook it.

  “I guess I have,” he said. “You two take care, now.”

  Gram waved from the doorway until he turned the corner, headed back to the motel. Headed back to Shane, the other half of his heart.

  Shane kept looking out the window until she saw his headlights, and then she stepped out the door, standing in the hot, dry air while he parked the truck, climbed down and walked toward her, his stride full of purpose. So much emotion filled her heart, and it all flowed in one direction: Toward the truth. Toward the future. Toward Matt. She ran to him.

  Matt caught her in his arms and held her close. “Your grandmother’s a remarkable woman,” he said.

  She laughed a little against his chest. “She certainly is.”

  “She told me something I already knew, but wasn’t quite ready to say out loud.”

  Shane looked up at him with shining eyes. “And you’re ready now?” she asked.

  “Oh, yeah,” he said. “I’m ready to shout it from the rooftops.” He cupped her face in his hands. “I love you, Shane. As crazy as it sounds, I love you.”

  Tears hazed her vision, making the parking lot lights sparkle like fireworks. “I know,” she said. “Gram told me. And I must be just as crazy, because I love you, too.”

  Matt claimed her mouth in a sweet, tender kiss. As his lips moved warmly, gently over hers, as his love sank deep into her heart, filling all her empty places, Shane felt the cold wall of fear and shame that had held her captive for so long tremble and begin to fall. Stone toppled from crumbling stone until a powerful message hurtled through the growing gap: