Love All the People (New Edition)

by Bill Hicks

  BILL: And that is not what I do. Yeah, I use some discretionary language because that is the way I kind of talk, but at the same time the language is just part of the character. We all have to grow up. This is the 1990’s. If you are shocked by a couple of slang words, it is your problem, not mine. Quite honestly being referred to as ‘blue’ by anyone not only bothers me but it really shocks me.

  Yeah, I have some very dark poetry that I do in my show. We talk about things very openly. But, again, like you said, there is a point to it. It all comes clear if you actually listen and not just ‘he’s so bad . . . he’s blue’. What can we do . . . change the world?

  CAT: The bit you did for HBO, how well was it received?

  BILL: That was a year ago, and it is better now. On a scale of 1–10 for me, I felt it was a 4. That went over a 23-date run and we filmed only one show, I was a bit tired. The meaning and the message were there but I am very critical of myself. It could have been much better.

  CAT: Tell me a little bit about how you got started in this business.

  BILL: I started in Houston at about thirteen. I started actually performing on stage at the Comedy Workshop in Houston when I was fifteen. That was about 1978. It was long before this comedy boom happened. It was very unique. When I first started, the guy came up to me and asked could I do 45-minutes. I said sure . . . but it was interesting. All the guys did that. People back then would come up to me and want to know how I had the courage to talk in front of people. Well, I think our nation has overcome that fear.

  CAT: So you started in the comedy club in Texas. Where did it go from there?

  BILL: I stayed there until I finished high school. I kept working at the club. When I graduated, I told my parents what I did. My brother and my sister went to college . . . it’s what you do. I said, well, I’m going out to LA to be a comedian. They said ‘Don’t you have to be funny?’ I said ‘Dad, as a matter of fact, I’ve been working as a professional comedian for about three years.’ It was really a shock to them. I left to go to LA with a guitar, $300 and a corduroy suit with a vest.

  I landed there. I went up the Comedy Store and I got in there as a regular and I worked there for two years. I was very very miserable. I loved the comedy and I liked being creative, but I was in the wrong element. I moved back to Houston and right then the comedy revolution began. When I went back to Houston, I was so miserable that I said to myself that I was going to college . . . even if I had to be a frickin’ accountant . . . anything but getting on stage again. Something was really weird about it.

  But, I was in college about six weeks when the club called and said they had a guy fall out and would I come down and do a couple of sets. I went down and it felt right all of a sudden. Gigs kept poppin’ and I kept going. Suddenly I am making a good living doing this.

  CAT: There was a network there.

  BILL: There was a network, there was a tour. I am now making great money as a twenty year-old kid. I’m thinking, ‘Wow, let’s not be foolish.’

  It’s like a mistress. It beats the hell out of me sometimes but it’s actually saved my life too. I’ve never been more happy or at peace about it. It’s been a long enough road, but what is length in the context of eternity.

  CAT: What inspires you to do the kind of comedy that you do?

  BILL: The first inspiration was when I was twelve actually. Suddenly I had become a night owl and they had the Late Show on, and what came on that night was a Woody Allen film called Casino Royale. I was a little kid and I was watching it and something struck me about it. Then the next week they had another film that he made, What’s Up Tiger Lily. I don’t know why, it just made me laugh. The next week they had What’s New Pussycat. I kept saying, ‘Wow, it’s that guy again’. There was this guy who makes people laugh and that’s what he does. I didn’t even know that this could be a career or anything. That summer, I was walking through a book store and there was this book that had just come out ‘Without Feathers’ by Woody Allen. I said to myself, ‘There’s that dude who makes me laugh.’ And I picked it up and started reading it in the store. I was walking up to strangers crying I was laughing so hard . . . . saying ‘read this, read this!’ Woody Allen was the first influence. I even wrote kind of like him then.

  I saw Richard Pryor’s first ‘in concert’ film and I went ‘Oh, my God!’ The guy totally used the stage and became characters. He was a one-man movie. That really loosened me up on stage. That is when I started using my personal life. All I knew then were my folks and the kids from high school.

  The final influence was Sam Kinison. He started working at the club. What I learned from Sam was this. He was the first guy I ever saw go on stage and not in any way ask the audience to like him. That gave me extra confidence because then I knew you could just be yourself. Since then that has been my philosophy. Oddly enough your most oddball thoughts . . . the kind that most people say ‘I couldn’t tell that to somebody’ when you tell them on stage, people laugh the hardest. The most personal stuff is what people respond to as being so funny.

  CAT: What makes you so different from other comedians out there in the market these days?

  BILL: I think it is the way I live and think. A lot of people look outside themselves for what will make the audience laugh . . . what will they like. I always think . . . ‘What makes me laugh?’ I think that is where there is kind of a myth. Most comics, you don’t know who they are when they leave. We often tend to be like some ‘joke blower’. I don’t think that I am any different from the audience. So what will make me laugh, will make them laugh.

  CAT: Do you think that your audience is more sophisticated than most other audiences? Obviously you have done a lot of research on the material that you use.

  BILL: You have a really good sense of irony, and a great sense that you are watching a show. I have never gone around saying that I wish this audience was smarter or this town sucks. I have never thought that. I just always went out and did things that made me crack up and it was contagious. Most of what you see is in those gross terms about humanity. I think everyone is inherently good and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I think that I am real open and that opens people up. I have had just as bad or good a crowd in New York City as in Lafeyette, LA. Your crowd is the luck of the draw on some nights.

  CAT: I noticed that some of your political type of satire . . . for instance your Kennedy stuff, if they are not up on the details, the whole thing might just go over their heads. After all, that was thirty years ago.

  BILL: Good Point. I obviously have not found a mainstream venue for me in America. I can only hope that people want to have some knowledge of history and what is going on around them.

  Just as you called I am finishing the touches on a show that I wrote that we are doing next year in London. If you want that mainstream bullshit, most of the audience can do the jokes with you. It is like a sing-along. Do you really want that?

  CAT: You seem to be a pretty high profile star.

  BILL: Well, I get a lot of critical acclaim. I have a cult following, but it is funny. That next level is elusive.

  CAT: Why do you think the market is different in England?

  BILL: For one thing, they only have four channels on TV. It would be like the old days here. When there is a special on, it is really special. They aired my Montreal special, unedited on prime time and over one quarter of the English market saw the show and then they re-ran it. In America there are 5200 comics that have ‘specials’. So what the hell is special about it? In England it has happened in one year what in fifteen years has not yet happened in America.

  CAT: What specifically, from your viewpoint, was the deal with the Letterman Show?

  BILL: I believe that American television is afraid to have someone who makes sense on TV because that will inspire other people to think for themselves. . . . Not be a passive herd of consumers. And one by one people will go ‘This is crap’. Instead of sitting there with a beer in their hands and watching these horrible,
horrible images of America that I just don’t believe in. I am eternally hopeful. The America that I know is one where people are generally reasonable. I meet a lot of people and everyone is genuinely perplexed by the state of affairs but they just can’t believe that this box will produce so many lies on the news. They just won’t believe it. Even my dad and I go round and round about this. I’ve told him that they just want you to feel hopeless so that you will buy their crappy products.

  If it weren’t true, Why would I be censored from Letterman. The jokes are harmless . . . They are just jokes. The censors say ‘I’m offended’. Well good, I am offended by a lot of stuff. Where do I send my list? Life can be offensive. Why can’t you just be an adult and move on.

  I tell you something. That was my twelfth appearance on his show and I have never been more comfortable or happy with the material . . . ever. I felt it was like really me. It wasn’t edited or pre-edited and I killed that night. And what a shock it was to get back to my hotel room thirty minutes later and find out the whole thing was not going to be shown.

  LA is made up with a bunch of hopefuls just like me. You see all this junk on TV and you say to yourself ‘if they like this guy, they are going to love me!’ But they want what already works.

  I have been to all these creative meetings out there (now there is a term for you ‘creative meetings’) and they say that this idea is really creative and really funny, but will it play in the midwest? If the people in the midwest knew the contempt that television holds for them. They think that they are Bibb-overall wearing crackers and they lower the standards to this imaginary stupid herd. That is what they do and I have heard it a million times. Thank God a couple of shows slip in. There has got to be hope. The Simpsons, one of the funniest shows ever, slipped in. Northern Exposure, another show I love, when they aired it six times and it didn’t do that well, the studio canceled it. Then they needed a replacement for the summer and ran it again and Boom . . . everyone caught it. Give stuff a chance, man!

  Everything is run by accountants and demographics and marketing. They need to look outside themselves. The people that write The Simpsons – you know they have fun writing that. They sit there and they say to themselves – THAT’S HILARIOUS.

  That’s the thing . . . back to Letterman, they have this preconceived notion. I wrote him a thank you note because it opened my eyes up to something that I have been missing. I love the Letterman Show and I am a fan of the Letterman Show. When they came to me and told me ‘Bill, we love you and we want you on anytime.’ Well I was kind of touched. I have turned down other shows to do them and I was really comfortable doing it. And yet, they would take me out to do material at the clubs before the show, they would cut out something. What I do is tell lengthy things that are all connected and when part of it is cut, it fragments the message and part of it can be lost. Therefore, what it appeared like was that I was just another joke blower. There was no continuity.

  They come to me and say ‘Bill, it is very funny but you have to understand our audience’. I asked ‘What, do you grow them on farms or something? Is your audience comprised of people? Well I know them! I play to them live every single night all over the country. They have no problem with this material.’

  I was like the wife who stayed with the abusing husband, but I finally had to say this is it. I have taken my final wack with the crow bar. I still love the show. I think Dave does the best talk show. But, I am bored by being limited. In England they say ‘Can you come out with your vision and we’ll produce it.’

  You have people that want to hear comedy where they don’t have to think about anything. To me they are missing the point. They say ‘I just want to escape from reality’. No you don’t. You want to escape from illusions.

  God has this weird little hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality. The best comedy is where people wake up to that. They actually leave feeling lighter, they feel hope. It’s like Dice Clay . . . ‘I’m just giving people what they want.’ Well you’re creating a lynch mob.

  CAT: What you’re doing is dividing them.

  BILL: Exactly! Exactly! Instead of being yourself and letting them be their true selves. Then, that to me is entertainment. Take the guys who write The Simpsons. It’s funny to them. Well, guess what? It’s funny to us too. We are all the same.

  That is what I try to do with my show. Let the voice of reason speak. Make sense and be funny and just see what happens. My audience learns from me and I learn from them. Obviously, I’m a dreamer.

  CAT: How long do you think it is going to take for the American audience to be as open as the English are?

  BILL: You have got to keep in mind that there are so many levels in America. I am doing well here and they are open to it. But on a mass level, not yet. Why? Because they haven’t been exposed to it.

  I think we are going through our ‘terrible twos’ as a country. ‘Get in touch with your inner child.’ How about this: ‘Get in touch with your outer adult.’ Take responsibility and move on.

  You have all this hype and all these shows about the terrible drug wars that are going on in America and in-between you have all these alcohol commercials. Come on, you can’t tell me that you don’t see the irony there. Cigarettes kill more people than all illegal drugs combined times 100. This is a fact and there is no way we can weasel around it.

  You wonder why kids do drugs? Well they do drugs because they see their lying hypocritical parents drinking liquor, they see liquor being sold, they know the effects of liquor . . . every kid has gotten drunk and they go ‘You’re lying to me! And you’re probably lying about drugs too!’ You are never going to stop the drugs by saying ‘Just Say No’ or showing some guy who had a cocaine heart attack. That is not drug education.

  Why is the drug czar of this country a cop? Why is it not a guy who has been through recovery and recovered from drug and alcohol abuse who can offer real answers and real hope for people who are sick . . . and that is what drug abusers and alcoholics are. They are sick! The voice of reason is that what we are doing isn’t working and it is never going to work. How many lives must be lost? Why are we putting these sick people in our overcrowded jails? Have you ever heard of anybody getting healed in prison? What are the chances? It gets worse.

  I was raised Southern Baptist. What is one of the first things that you learn? The Kingdom of Heaven is within you. I am saying that it really is in you . . . seriously. These aren’t just hollow words that we repeat from generation to generation. The voice of reason tells you that it is within you.

  CAT: One of things that scares people is that you are so convincing and probably not mainstream by the way they have been taught and it scares them to think that maybe you might be right.

  BILL: That is an interesting point. I try to be a lot more funny and warmer now. I want them to get the message by acting as an example. I am not preaching at them anymore as much as I am living it. It keeps them from getting afraid. But why are we afraid of information, knowledge or someone’s point of view?

  That’s what happened on Letterman. They were afraid of my point of view. Jesus, I listen to Geraldo and I want to barf. He’s holding up people’s dirty laundry and crowing about it. Isn’t that ironic?

  I have got to look at my own life. I have had people tell me things that made sense and I rejected them for a long time. Maybe it’s just human nature. I’m getting better at it though because I’m living it rather than just saying it.

  CAT: What are your long term goals? What do you hope to achieve?

  BILL: I have no long term goals, whatsoever. My only real goal is to be myself. Here’s a great one.

  The word is ‘enthusiasm’. It is from ‘Enthios’ which means the god within. You know what that means. You do what excites you . . . what really brings you joy. It God’s way of saying you are on the right path. We are on it together and isn’t it fun. Do what brings you joy and all else will follow.

  CAT
: Do you think some of things you tell people or bring out in your show might scare people because it is anti-establishment?

  BILL: Sure. Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick . . . you hate this country, you hate the government and you hate religion. I have to tell him to step back. ‘Dad, I really don’t think you’re watching me. I just hate being lied to.’

  You hear so much about old family values. What about just values? Everybody should have values.

  Last week was Kennedy week and Dan Rather was doing this special once again supporting the lone gunman theory. He was questioning why nine out of ten Americans think there was a conspiracy. Well since the Kennedy assassination all we’ve seen is corruption in government. From Vietnam to Iran Contra to Watergate to the phony oil crisis, you have no credibility . . . they are obviously liars. Why are we supposed to believe them?

  CAT: Why do we keep electing them?

  BILL: Many people don’t think there is an option.

  CAT: Excuse me, but I don’t believe that. I hope this is not too liberal, but I think that if we gave everybody in the US Congress their walking papers today and elected a whole new group without any experience whatsoever, I don’t think we could be in much worse shape than we are now.

  BILL: I agree, but I don’t think we should fire them. I think we should kill them on the air live. That would bring people hope. (Just kidding about the killing part.)

  But you are absolutely correct. It is an old boys club that is about as corrupt as it possibly could get. They are getting kickbacks and pay-offs from major corporations and the last thing they are doing is representing humanity.

  CAT: Innocent people are getting hurt in the meantime. People who have put their faith in an establishment that is full of corruption.

  BILL: Let me tell you a story. This is a classic example of irony. My dad is a fairly well-to-do white man. He considers himself super patriotic and fought in WWII. Now, I love America but he doesn’t understand why I love it. We are arguing about our policy in another country. I’m asking him why we have to be the watchdogs of the world. Why aren’t we offering people education and food? There would be no animosity. My dad actually said this ‘I don’t think the peasants should be allowed to vote.’ I said ‘Dad. I think my version of Democracy – and maybe Thomas Jefferson said it best – ‘I know of no safe depository of the powers of the nation other than the people themselves. And if we deem them too unenlightened to wield their power with healthy discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them, but to inform them.’ How is that for a frickin’ sentiment!