Obsessed

by R. J. Lewis

  “I thought dancers had good cardiovascular systems,” Aston remarked on a smile, handing me a bottle of water from his bag.

  “They don’t eat quarter pounders after every session,” I replied, gulping it down.

  We approached the lookout and rested our elbows on the crappy wooden fence. It was a gorgeous site of the valley. Montley didn’t look so depressing from this far. In all seriousness, I felt at peace, like being here wasn’t so bad.

  “You gonna follow me after you’re finished?” Aston asked me sometime later, his voice quiet and solemn.

  I turned my head to him. He was wearing board shorts and a blue tank top. His shoulders were burnt red and covered in new freckles. It suited him, those freckles. I wanted to own every single one of them. His eyes were squinted as he gazed out and still they sparkled in the sunlight. His blond man-bun sat messy at the top of his head. He looked like he was made to be a surfer on an island beach, not a nature outdoorsman in the pacific northwest.

  “I want to,” I finally answered.

  “I’ll take care of you, you know.”

  “I kind of don’t want to be taken care of.”

  “I didn’t mean it like you’d be dependent on me or anything, but that you can think of what you want to do at your own pace without feeling pressured.”

  I grabbed at the end of my ponytail and nervously ran my fingers through the strands, contemplating his words. “I want to be a dancer.”

  He turned his head to me and smiled brilliantly. “Yeah?”

  I blushed at his intensity. “It sounds silly, though, doesn’t it?”

  “No.”

  “How would I even do it?”

  “You want to perform or choreograph?”

  “I don’t know, both? There are theatre programs in the city. I’ve looked some up, but they’re a bit intimidating. One of them expects you to have yoga classes under your belt, and all these weird criteria crap.”

  “So? You got a year. You can do all that.”

  “You think?”

  He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. My body pressed against his front. He looked down at me, the greens of his eyes mesmerizing. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. “You can do it,” he murmured, licking along the crease of my parted mouth. “I’ll be there with you.”

  “You promise?”

  “I promise.”

  I smiled back at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me up and rested my bum on the fence and crushed his mouth to mine. It was hot already, but I felt even hotter as he spread my legs wide and settled his hips against me. I felt drunk on love already, but lust was even more glorious. Lust sent ripples of need throughout my body.

  “Aston,” I panted, kissing him feverishly.

  He broke away and looked over his shoulder. His chest was heaving up and down, his need apparent and against me. “I want you,” he told me.

  “Nobody’s here.”

  He continued to look around, weighing our options. “I can’t risk it.”

  Before my hopes could be dashed, he picked me up and led me off the trail and into the dense bush. All the while his lips remained moulded to mine. Metres from the trail, he dropped me slowly to the ground and kissed my neck, chest, and stomach. I was shaking when he started pulling my shorts down but not my underwear. He removed a condom from his wallet and covered his body over mine, passionately prolonging our touches until I was moaning out loud for him to hurry.

  He had the corner of the condom packet in between his teeth when I heard heavy footsteps approaching. It’d come out of nowhere. My ears had been pumping so much blood, I didn’t know until whoever was there had reached us.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” barked a voice. “This is a public area! Kids walk this damn path all the time. Get up!”

  Aston’s eyes spoke of horror and they mirrored my own. We recognized the voice. We knew who it was, and all my fears came to light.

  We’d just been discovered by Dad’s partner, Adrian. What were the fucking chances?

  Aston pulled away from me, but he kept his body in front of mine as he slowly turned around and looked up at Adrian. I caught a quick glimpse of the middle-aged man. He was so like my dad in so many ways, but he was softer and funny too. He wasn’t in his police uniform, so at least I knew Dad wasn’t anywhere around. He was in casual hiking clothes, and with his age pushing fifty, it was surprising how in shape he was.

  “Aston?” The surprise was evident in his voice as he looked at him. “The hell, boy? What are you doing?”

  Aston kept my upper body hidden as he replied, “I’m sorry, Adrian. Got a bit carried away.”

  “Who are you with? Does the family know you’re in a relationship?”

  “Not all of them.”

  “Move aside. You’re both in for a lesson.”

  I blinked hard, keeping the tears at bay. God, this was a nightmare. This was not how I wanted our relationship to be found out. Aston hesitated, not wanting to move, but then he finally did. He pushed down my body so that my bottom half was covered up and rested my shorts over my underwear.

  What followed had to be the most awkward and uncomfortable moment of my life. My eyes connected to Adrian, and a myriad of expressions followed. Confusion. Surprise. Shock. And then…realization. He stared between the two of us, unsure of what to say. He was utterly speechless. Then he took a step back and left us there, hurrying like his ass was on fire.

  I sat up and with trembling fingers I slipped into my shorts, staring at Aston’s grim face.

  “Where did he go?” I whispered to him, worried.

  “To the lookout,” he whispered back.

  My heart battered inside my chest as I looked toward that direction. “Do you think he’s calling Dad?”

  “Probably. I don’t know.”

  “We-we can’t let that happen.”

  Aston’s lips tightened. “We can’t stop him, either, El. This is bad.”

  I stood up on wobbly legs and used the tree next to us for balance. I felt sick with worry. What would we go home to? Oh, God, how were they going to react to this?

  “I can’t let that happen,” I said hastily. “I can’t.”

  “El –”

  I was already gone, marching in the direction of the lookout. When I emerged, I found Adrian standing where we had been minutes ago. He was staring out, rubbing at his face like he was stressed. I stopped beside him, my body turned to him. He didn’t acknowledge me, but he let out a long sigh, aware of my presence.

  “Adrian,” I choked out, “please, don’t say a word.”

  “About what?” he gruffly asked.

  “About what you saw.”

  “You mean you having a relationship with your adopted brother?”

  “When you say it like that, it sounds worse than it really is. It’s kind of mean, Adrian.”

  He looked at me briefly. “All I know, Elise, is you both have been thick as thieves since he was taken in. I never saw any looks exchanged in…that way. Both of you were so young, you grew up together as siblings. I thought it was completely innocent.”

  “It was never innocent,” I argued, breathing erratically now. “I always loved him and I never looked at him as a brother.”

  He raised a brow, studying me. “How long has this been going on?”

  “Not long.”

  “What do you think your parents are going to say when they find out?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Are you going to tell them?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do you know anything?”

  I cringed. “I don’t know. Everything is a clusterfuck.”

  “You can’t keep hiding this.”

  “Then give us the chance to tell them.”

  He laughed shortly; it wasn’t real, and I didn’t like hearing it. He turned to me, his brown eyes warming as they traced my face. “El, I’m your godfather. I knew you before you walked, before
you talked, before you were even born. Do you really think I’m going to tell your parents?”

  A tear fell from my eyes. I sniffed. “Not when you say it like that.”

  He let out a long exhale. “Let this be a wake-up call then. Be careful of your actions. It might have been your father walking in on you both, and that would have been a terrible way for him to find out.”

  I nodded urgently. “Okay, I agree.”

  He touched my arm and squeezed it gently. Then he dropped it and walked back down the trail, disappearing from sight a minute later. I returned to Aston and found him in the exact same spot I left him. I sat down next to him and pressed my body against his side. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

  “He won’t say anything,” I told him.

  He looked relieved for a moment, but then his face went hard again.

  “I have to let them know,” he replied grimly. “We can’t hide this from them any longer, El. It could have been worse. What if it was Deck-chair or someone else you know? They’d have used this like arsenal and the town would have blown up with rumours within a week. They have to know.”

  I swallowed hard, concerned. “But…you don’t think we should wait a little while longer, until I’m done school first? I don’t want to have to deal with them if it goes down badly.”

  “Elise, it’s hard enough hiding it now and we’ve been at it a few weeks. Another year would be impossible.”

  “I know, but then I think of Dad’s reaction, and… I’m just…scared.”

  He sighed. “I know you are. I’m scared too. But it’s the right thing.”

  “But…is it the right time?”

  “There will never be a right time.”

  I nodded stiffly. I was agreeing to something I was terrified of. “When are you going to do it then?”

  “He’s been talking about going fishing for a while now. I’ll put a day aside and we’ll spend time together. I’ll have to open up to him then.”

  “I should come with you.”

  He shook his head. “No, El. Let me do that. We’ll break the news together to Mom, but…Dad is going to be a different matter. If it goes to shit, at least he won’t take it out on you.”

  I nodded again, trying to suppress the dread that followed. I was petrified. My heart stretched and tightened over and over again, nerves conquering every inch of my being, as I wondered how our lives were going to change.

  At the end of the day, I loved Aston. I had to have courage to face the unexpected. No matter what, we would be together.

  That was all that mattered.

  15.

  Aston

  No more being a coward. I had to do the right thing by Elise, even if it cost me the respect of the only real father I knew.

  Dad came down that morning excited as hell. He had grabbed all our fishing gear and set it up beside the front door. Then he waltzed into the kitchen, squeezed my shoulders and ruffled Elise’s hair.

  “This is going to be a damn good day,” he noted, smiling. “I just have a feeling.”

  I felt flat but I managed a nod. “I hope so.”

  After he had a quick breakfast, I helped load everything up into the back our truck. All the while, Elise stood by the front door, staring at me and biting that sexy bottom lip. As Dad loaded the cooler into the backseat, I ducked into the house and grabbed her by the arm. I dragged her into the garage, pushed her against the wall, and smashed my lips against hers. My hands were everywhere. I couldn’t get enough of this tight little body.

  “Stop worrying,” I told her, biting that sexy lip of hers.

  She ran her hand down the back of my head, gripping a chunk of my hair tightly. “I’m just so nervous. Maybe we should wait.”

  “No more waiting. I want you. Fuck, El, I want the world to know you’re mine.”

  She pulled me back to her mouth and our tongues tangled for one last moment. I grunted, squeezing her to me, my hands sliding down her back to grab at her meaty little ass. Then Dad called out my name, and I broke free, panting, dick throbbing against my cargo shorts.

  “Go,” she told me.

  I ran my finger over her bottom lip once and smiled. “Don’t worry, angel. Everything is going to be okay.”

  She was red and breathless. “Really?”

  I didn’t know. “Yeah.”

  “Okay. I love you.”

  “I love you.”

  I returned outside and climbed into the front seat of the truck. Dad was already behind the wheel, looking me over with a furrowed brow.

  “You alright?” he asked me.

  “Overheating,” I answered, trying to keep my breaths under control.

  He turned the air conditioner on and we peeled out of the driveway. I looked at our house as we drove away, thinking of Elise.

  Always thinking of Elise.

  *

  The day was calm and peaceful. We set our camp chairs out beside a creek. The water wasn’t high, so I wasn’t liking our chances, but Dad wasn’t in it to actually catch fish. He just needed to get away from his job and unwind.

  Some days were dark for him. Just last week there was a hit and run and he had to tend to an eight-year-old on the road. She was still in the hospital, and the doctors said she’d never walk again. They say you get desensitized about shit like that over a period of time, but Dad always felt the pain. It was always fresh for him. He just found ways to block it out; kind of like what I did with numbers.

  “You’re nervous about something,” he said as we packed up our things and got ready to leave. “What’s going on, Aston?”

  I exhaled, not meeting his eye. “How about we grab something to eat at the fish and chip place and talk there?”

  He chuckled. “I would have preferred we eat our own fish, but alright, son.”

  Son.

  That word on this particular day put me in knots.

  He patted my back as I climbed back into the car. He drove us to the restaurant, keeping silent the whole way, as if letting me soak in my thoughts. It was mid-afternoon when we pulled up and found a table in the far back of the crowded room. We ordered our food, and all the while Dad studied me carefully, trying to figure out what the problem was.

  How does one go right out and say to a man that he’s screwing their daughter? And how does one do that when that man brought him into the family as one of their own?

  This was harder than I thought.

  Our food arrived, and I picked at it with a fork, my mind spewing numbers that would do absolutely nothing for me right now.

  “Is this about school?” he asked me, breaking the heavy silence.

  “No,” I answered. “It’ll be hard leaving, don’t get me wrong.”

  “We’ll be terribly lonely without you. I don’t know what Elise will do with the house to herself.”

  Just do it. Fucking do it, you pussy. “I love her,” I blurted out, staring at him evenly.

  He nodded and chuckled. “I know. You both grew up together, inseparable. She’ll have no one to torment.”

  I exhaled and shook my head slowly. “No, Dad,” I replied quietly, “I’m in love with Elise.”

  He stopped moving, and his smile dropped just like that. It was like watching a bomb go ka-boom. “What?”

  “I tried not to,” I explained hastily. “But the heart wants what it wants, right? It happened and…I can’t fight it anymore.”

  His fork dropped from his hand, clattering on the plate. He stared at me in disbelief. “You’re in love with Elise,” he repeated. “Is that what I just heard?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does she know this, Aston?”

  I chuckled dryly. “We love each other, Dad. We’re…together.”

  He looked away from me for several moments, thoughtfully scanning the restaurant with an indiscernible expression. I was still nervous, but I felt like a weight had fallen from my shoulders. The worst was over. It was out there. He knew, and that meant no more hiding.


  “How long?” he asked me solemnly, blue eyes back on mine. “How long has this been going on, Aston?”

  “Several weeks,” I responded.

  “So not long at all.”

  “Long enough that we’re attached.”

  Minutes passed. His mortification petered off, replaced with a morose look that was worse than disappointment.

  He hated me. I felt it. I knew it. I was almost close to apologizing, but I couldn’t do that. I didn’t feel sorry for loving his daughter. Not at all.

  “You can yell at me,” I told him sternly. “You can disown me. You can tell me you hate me. I’ll understand.”

  He looked at me, startled. “Hate you? I could never hate you, Aston. I love you, always.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I…I’m trying to figure out if I’m to blame for this. I guess…I always thought you both were too young, that you’d grow up together like…like siblings. I didn’t see this coming, and maybe I should have.”

  “It’s no one’s fault.”

  He took a steady breath, trying to maintain control of his emotions as he asked, “Have you…touched her?”

  I kept my eyes on him as my insides raged with guilt. “Yeah,” I admitted. “I have.”

  “In the house?”

  I wanted to bite my tongue off. “Yeah.”

  “Have you both taken it slow?”

  “We…tried.”

  Tried but failed, and he knew it.

  He forced a nod, but his horror was apparent. More silent minutes passed, and while it was uncomfortable as fuck, I kept my eyes levelled to his, never breaking away.

  After a century of this torture, he leaned over the table and said, “How is this going to work, Aston? This is a new relationship. What’s going to happen next? She’s staying here, and you’re leaving. Did you think about that?”

  “Of course.”

  “What are you going to do? There are a lot of problems already.”

  “If this is about keeping an image and letting everyone know –”

  “I couldn’t give a shit if the world knew you and her were together, Aston,” he cut in sharply, looking insulted. “Goddammit, I’m not like that, do you understand? Images are made to change. If the town hates us tomorrow, then we’ll give ‘em some pitchforks and let them have their say. I don’t care. What I care about is how this is going to work. So answer me. What are you going to do when you’re gone and she’s here?”