The Most Eligible Bachelor: A Texas Love Story

by Bella Winters

  “Good, good. Right well if you just hop up onto the bed then I’ll perform the ultrasound. We can take a little look at your little man or girl.”

  “Will I find out the gender today?” I don’t even know if I want to. I haven’t much thought about it yet.

  “No, we can’t do that just yet, the picture won’t be clear enough. If you want to know, you will have to wait until you’re twenty weeks in.”

  “Half way?” That’s so far away. Now I really want to know. “Okay, fair enough.”

  I lie on the table and pull my top up to reveal my slightly swollen belly. The doctor pours some extremely cold jelly across me which instantly makes me shiver. Then she grabs a white device that’s attached to an old fashioned looking computer screen.

  “Right, let’s do this.”

  The doctor smiles down at me one more time and I try to match her expression but all I can really focus on is the fact that Ben isn’t here. He should be, but he’s not. He’s missing out on one of the biggest moments in his baby’s life.

  Maybe he’s never going to be around.

  “The heart beat is strong,” the doctor mumbles as she rubs the machine across me. A black and white grainy image pops up, but I can’t yet see anything that resembles a baby. “Really strong. Actually that might be a bit erratic...”

  I tune her out as she speaks and just watch the screen fascinated. Ben flows from my mind as well, if he cannot be bothered to be here then that truly is his own problem. If he isn’t interested in this wonderful miracle of life that he’s created, then that’s up to him. Right now, all I care about is the gorgeous little being inside of me.

  There’s a stirring and lots of shapes but nothing I can quite make out. Still I stare at the screen as if it’s the most amazing thing in the world. It’s my insides, how weird is that? It’s a part of me that I never thought I would see and although I can’t quite tell what it is, it hardly matters now.

  “Yep, just as I suspected.” All of a sudden, the doctor pulls me from my thoughts. “There are two babies in there.”

  “T... two?” I stammer awkwardly. “What do you mean, two?”

  “Twins.” She says this in such a matter of fact tone that it makes my heart stop dead in my chest. “Are there any twins in your family? It usually runs through.”

  “I don’t think so.” I shake my head. If there were I would know about it.

  “And what about the father of the babies? Does he?”

  It hits me how little we know about each other. Of all the awful things that Ben said to me, that’s the one that’s stuck. We don’t know anything really, we just got stuck in a bubble We told each other little things and convinced ourselves that we were opening up.

  What me and Ben had was a sham.

  “I’m not sure,” I admit. “Are they identical?”

  “Again that’s something we don’t know at this stage, so I can’t tell you that I’m afraid.” I think she can tell by the look on my face that I’m not quite okay with this. “Would you like me to give you some literature so you can read through it? Get more used to the idea of having twins. The pregnancy will be different and so will the birth. It might be better to be well informed.”

  “Yes please,” I gasp back. “Thank you.”

  What do I do now? Do I tell Ben? On the one hand if he doesn’t want one baby he definitely won’t want two, but if I keep it from him am I the bad person? I want to let him know everything so I can’t be blamed for everything, but this is heavy. I just don’t know.

  I take the information from the doctor and thank her in a blur. Then I stagger out of the hospital in a real state of shock. I suppose if I’m going to tell Ben then I need to do it now. Before all sensibilities kick in and I absolutely lose it.

  Twins... that changes everything. Now I really need to get myself in order. There’s no more waiting around now. I have to do something drastic and quickly.

  Chapter Twenty One – Ben

  Dude, your phone has been ringing for hours,” Kyle slurs drunkenly at me over the music. “Are you going to answer it or can you turn it off already?”

  I don’t know why I’m out with Kyle actually, I’ve realised that I don’t really like him much, but he’s one of the clients that’s stuck around so I have to treat him right. I want to get out anyway, aside from working all I want to do is party and have fun at the moment. I need to forget the weird little new life that I created for myself, the one that ended in utter disaster. I need to get back to just being me. This is what I do, drinking, dancing, fucking around... this is more me. It’s good to have that side of me back. Or at least some of it.

  “Oh, it’s Mom,” I slur back as I stand up. “I better give her a call back.”

  Kyle barely pays any attention to me, he’s too busy trying to get into the pants of the bar maid who’s much too young for him and definitely not interested, so I leave without saying anything more. He barely needs me with him to be honest, I don’t know why I came.

  I pick up as soon as I get outside into the fresh air and a bit of silence, but I don’t even manage to say anything before she starts of on a rant that must have been building for hours.

  “Ben, what the hell is going on with you? I’ve been trying to ring you for two days.”

  “Been busy,” I shoot back in a pathetic, snappy tone. “You know how it is.”

  “Busy? Sounds like you’re out drinking to me. What is going on with you?”

  “Nothing, Mom. I’m just focusing on getting the business back on track. Things slid for a while because I was distracted but it’s all good now. I’m only out now because I’m entertaining a client.” Why I feel the need to explain myself I’ll never know. That’s just the effect that Mom has on me. “It’s all good, Mom. You don’t need to worry about me.”

  “The business.” She sounds resigned. “And how does Serena feel about you spending all your time working and drinking again? I’m sure she’s very pleased. And when will I get to meet her? You promised me that I would soon but I’ve got nothing from you.”

  My heart aches at her words. She’s talking about a life I don’t have anymore, a version of myself that I had to sacrifice for my business. Much as I know I did the right thing, I know Mom won’t get it. I don’t even know how to explain it all to her. I’m going to have to leave some certain details out. The baby, for instance. I cannot tell her that.

  “Me and Serena are no more, Mom, so it’s probably a good job you never met her.” I kick a stone on the floor as I speak. I feel childish and silly, but the booze has loosened my tongue slightly. “I don’t know what I was thinking with her really. It was obvious from the start that we were never going to be. We couldn’t last because we are just too different.”

  “Oh, Ben.” Mom sounds sad for me now. I think there’s some pity there which I really don’t need. “Why do you always have to put the company first? If you’re having some troubles, hire some better management staff. Or scale back just a little bit, or even a lot, you can now. You’ve made more than enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life. I don’t know why you can’t focus on other things now. It seems silly to me.”

  I rub my forehead hard. “Mom, you don’t get it and you’re never going to get it. I work because I have to, I can’t have all these distractions. I’m young anyway, twenty eight years old, I don’t need to be thinking about girlfriends, or marriage, or babies...”

  “Babies?” Shit, I’ve said the magic word and Mom has leapt on it. “Was there a baby in the picture? Ben, you better tell me if there was.”

  I can’t tell her, but I can’t lie to her either, so instead I change the subject to get her off the phone. “Mom, I can’t talk about this right now. I’m in a business meeting like I said. Can we discuss it another time? Please?” I need her to listen, I’m desperate for her to just get it.

  “I’ll come and visit you then, alright?” She’s giving in, thank goodness.

  “Fine, whatever. See you then. Bye.�
�

  Once I hang up the phone, my head falls into my hands. A deep wave of regret washes over me. I wish I could split myself into two different people; one to do the things that I need to do, the work, the business, taking care of the money, and one to do the things that I want to do. That version of me could be with Serena, could be a dad, and could just be happy.

  Unfortunately, that’s simply impossible.

  I scroll through the numbers in my phone, all ready to call her in my slightly drunken state, but before I do a symbol at the top of the screen catches my eye. The voice mail symbol. Loads of people have been calling me, it could be anyone. I decide to have a listen just as a moment of procrastination. Maybe I need a time out so I don’t do anything rash.

  “Hi, Ben.” Holy fuck, it’s her on the other end of the voice mail. Instantly I sit up straighter and I run my hands through my hair. “I... I just went in for my ultrasound today, the one I text you about earlier.” Shit, I didn’t see that message, but I haven’t been looking at anything on my phone. I don’t know if I would’ve gone had I seen it though. That’s a bit too real. “And I know you don’t want to know, you’ve made that much obvious over and over again, but I think you deserve this bit of information. It’s twins.”

  “Twins?” I mutter in shock as my cell phone clatters to the ground. Twins? I do have twins in my family, but none directly linked to me. I never thought that would happen, but Serena wouldn’t say that for attention, I’m sure of it. It’s a lie that could so easily be unravelled.

  Now I’m not only having one baby. I’m having two.

  “Shit, fucking hell.” I press my palms into my eyes, trying to work out what I’m going to do next. Now that it’s twins I definitely should step up, I should be a dad no matter what I think about it. I can’t leave Serena to do this by herself, what sort of man would that make me? Just because I grew up without a father, doesn’t mean my children need to do the same. My dad didn’t mean to leave me, I would be doing it on purpose, that’s the difference.

  I need to go home, I have to sober up, then tomorrow it’s time to do the right thing.

  So why the hell are my feet headed back into the bar?

  “Fucking shots!” I yell to Kyle and the bar maid as soon as I get back inside. People turn to stare at me but I don’t care. “I need shots and lots of them. Keep them coming.”

  “Oh if we’re getting shots we should go to CeeLow,” Kyle says excitedly. “Then we can have those sexy shot girls all around us, teasing us all night long.”

  Maybe Serena doesn’t work there anymore, maybe after finding out about the baby she quit her job, but I can’t risk it. I don’t want to go anywhere that she might be. I don’t want to see her, and especially not now. I couldn’t face her, it’s all too much.

  “No,” I growl angrily. “Let’s have shots here. It’s nice here and there are plenty of gorgeous chicks to keep us going.” I grab some faceless blonde girl next to me and plant a wet sloppy kiss on her lips. She squeals but with glee. She probably wants me. To prove what sort of man I am I also grab her friend and do the same. I don’t want anyone to get any funny ideas. “See, we can have all the fun right here. You want that, right?”

  As Kyle agrees a little begrudgingly, I scan my eyes around. I need to find some chick worth burying myself in tonight – protected, of course, I will never make that mistake again! I need someone to help me forget...

  “Ah, you are here,” a voice purrs. “What a surprise, it seems that the loved up Ben is gone and my Ben is back.”

  Marie. Perfect. Just fucking perfect.

  ***

  “Urgh, fucking hell,” I groan as my eyes slowly slide open. My head pounds, my stomach churns, I feel incredibly sensitive to everything. “What happened last night?”

  “Don’t you remember?” A giggling voice replies, shocking me. I guess I’m not as alone in my bed as I thought I was which instantly spells trouble. “It was a whole lot of fun.”

  Flashes come back to me, a lot of them involving Marie which isn’t good news. Going back to her would ensure that Serena never looked at me again. Not that I want her to, I just don’t want the possibility completely ruled out. Just in case. I don’t want Marie any more anyway, I decided that. I hope I haven’t gone back on my idea instantly. She’ll never damn well leave me alone ever again. I’ll create an even worse stalker than before.

  “Yeah, it was amazing.”

  Huh. Another voice. As I finally brave looking down into my bed I see a blonde and a girl with light brown hair lying there next to me, both very naked and both sexy as hell. It’s clear we had a threesome last night, which would normally be very awesome, I love a good threesome, but today leaves my brain foggy and my body a bit disgusted in myself.

  At least it isn’t Marie, that’s the one god thing. Maybe it’s the girls from the bar.

  “Maybe we should do something to respark his memory.” The blonde hops up onto her hands and knees and starts crawling towards me. I wait for something to ignite in my downstairs area, but nothing happens. I don’t want this, and not just because I feel ill. Not now. “What do you think we can do to make him remember?”

  “Oh well I particularly like sucking on him,” the other girl suggests with a cheeky smile and a wink. “Maybe that should happen again, that was a lot of fun last night...”

  I need to stop this now, before it spirals out of control. Last night I wanted to be surrounded by people but now I just need to be alone.

  “I’m going to be a dad,” I blurt out in sheer desperation. Anything to make these girls vanish. “To twins, so no I can’t do this again.”

  The blonde’s expression hardens. “Last night you told us that you can’t have kids. That you never have and you never will, was that a lie, or is this?”

  “Er, that was. I don’t know what I was saying I was drunk... I need to go in the shower so if you two can just... you know...” I can’t say go, it sounds too harsh. “Go.” Oh, oops it’s out there.

  I run away from my two brand new enemies, I’m sure that’s what they’ll become, hating myself the entire time. I really need to decide how I’m going to act before I do anything else. Am I going to be a man and start acting like a decent human being or am I going to continue down this spiralling path of self destruction? I need to know because whatever I do next is utterly vital to my future.

  Who am I going to be?

  Chapter Twenty Two – Serena

  I can’t believe I’m here, I just... I cannot believe it. It’s horrible.

  I’ve resorted to the one thing I never thought I would do, the one thing I tried my hardest to avoid... I’ve come back home. My home town still looks exactly the same; remote, run down, shabby. It’s almost as if it wants to remind everyone all the time that it’s the sort of place that’s going nowhere and that no one ever wants to visit. That’s why I haven’t wanted to come back since I left. The sleek lights of the modern city are so much better than this.

  I’m working, I can’t afford the travel, I have to look after Jenny... there have been many excuses that I’ve used over the past few years to avoid coming back home for the holidays, and now I’m here again, as a surprise. With a surprise or two. This is going to go really well.

  “Hello there, Serena,” Old Men Ted calls out to me in a tone that suggests he only saw me yesterday rather than five years ago. “How are you?”

  “Erm, yeah fine.” This place must be a time trap, people just get stuck in the same moment and nothing ever changes. “How are you?”

  “Oh good, you know how it is. It hasn’t been easy since my wife died...” Oh God, that’s something I didn’t know about. I don’t know what to say. “But I’m getting there.”

  “That’s erm, yeah good. I think I better go. My parents are waiting for me.”

  He nods and lets me leave, but as I go the fact that I’m in a time warp doesn’t leave me. It’s almost as if everything that happened out of this town was a dream; the jobs, Jenny, Ben... all of it.
If it wasn’t for the reminder in my belly I might truly forget about it all. It’s almost as if I haven’t left school yet, I’m still with Luke, I haven’t done any growing up.

  As I stand outside my childhood home, I feel odd, like I don’t belong. All I need to do is take a few steps forward and I’ll be there. But those few steps feel like climbing a mountain. I don’t know if I can do them. I’m aware that I need to, that I can’t move on with my life without making those steps, but I just can’t do it. What am I going to say? Hi guys, I’m back! Oh and I’m pregnant with twins and the father doesn’t want to know. Yeah, that’s going to go really well.

  With a deep sigh I take those steps with heavy feet. I don’t think I ever intended to come back, not really. I certainly didn’t ever intend to return here. When I lift my hand to knock on the door, it’s trembling like crazy, but still I make myself do it. When my fist hits the door, the sound reverberates right through me. It makes my head ache and my chest feel weird. I’m filled with utter regret about everything that I’ve done so far.

  “Oh.” The door swings open and my dad stands on the other side, looking at me like I’m a ghost from his past. I suppose in a way I am. “Serena. We weren’t expecting you...”

  “No, I know. This is a surprise.” I try to smile but it definitely doesn’t reach my eyes. “I just thought I would come home because.” I shrug. There isn’t a reasonable explanation for this. “Because I haven’t in a very long time.”

  “No, of course not. Come inside.”

  As I step in, I’m in yet another time warp. It’s almost as if I’ve never left. I’m sure if I head upstairs I’ll see my old bedroom looking exactly the same as it always did.

  “Hey, sis.” I turn to see a tall boy who’s grown skinner but more manly since the last time I saw him. His presence actually shocks me and reminds me that while nothing looks like it’s changed, absolutely everything has. “How are you? Long time no see.”

  He wraps his arms around me and has me gasping in shock. “Ethan, you’re actually taller than me now. I can’t believe it.”