Tomorrows Child

by Starr West

  Libby’s property wasn’t fenced and backed onto about a thousand hectares of wilderness forest. I figured my biggest problem wasn’t that I was lost and freezing to death; it was that potentially, I could get really lost, never-to-be-found lost!

  The little lizard was barely alive and the longer I waited, the worse he would get. I had to make a decision - stay put or find home. I thought about the spider webs that crossed the path and the other creatures that would venture out in the forest at dawn; there was no way I was staying put.

  I walked slowly at first, trying to find something that looked familiar. The cold had worked its way through to my bones, forcing me to take awkward, shaky steps. I looked deep into the forest, trying to see the garden beyond the undergrowth. The ferns were getting thicker and vines tangled across my trail, I knew I was headed in the wrong direction. I retraced my steps and found the place where I had squished the little lizard. I was thankful for that. The spider webs were no longer crossing the path so they provided no clues for me to follow. I chose a new path and headed off in that direction.

  The foolishness of my actions began to overwhelm me. How could I be so stupid? This was reckless and irresponsible. I was cold and miserable and clutching a dying reptile in my arms.

  I walked and cried, and cried and walk some more. My eyes stung and my nose ran in constant viscous stream. I didn’t even notice if the forest looked familiar or if the undergrowth was thick or thin. Suddenly, I’d had enough, I sat on the ground, the cold earth soaking through me while pointed sticks stabbed me in the back.

  Eventually the tears dried, but my nose still ran and my body shook. In the silence, I heard the faint trickle of water. The creek! I could hear the creek! The creek would help me find the pump and the path.

  Finally, I found the path and stumbled out of the forest into Libby’s yard as I hastily walked toward the house. I had no idea how long I’d been gone, but the misty clouds had turned into a drizzly rain and the wind stabbed at me like needles of ice. I almost fell through the door.

  “Flamin’ hell, Psyche! What happened to you?” Navarre exclaimed.

  Libby ran toward me with a towel and Phoenix pulled a seat from the table. They fumbled, fussed, and waited, but I couldn’t speak through my chattering teeth. Unfolding my top, I revealed the small creature I was carrying and handed it to Libby.

  “Phoenix, run the bath, she doesn’t need the chill in her bones.” I couldn’t stop shaking, I was sure the chill had already reached my bones.

  Phoenix and Navarre helped me to my feet and half dragged me to the bathroom. I was still shaky and cold, but my nose no longer streamed.

  “Do you want me to help you get naked?”

  “Just get out, Navarre,” Phoenix pushed his brother out the door, “Yell if you need help and we’ll send in Libby.”

  I nodded and caught my reflection in the mirror. Dirt caked my face and tears made streaks upon my mud-stained cheeks like bad camouflage. My hair appeared to be beyond repair. The crazy mess from this morning was now teased and twisted with sticks and leaves and pieces of bark. I removed my sodden pyjamas, which hit the floor with a thud and slipped into the hot water’s comforting embrace.

  Navarre was smiling when I returned to the kitchen. “I’ll leave ya to it, brother. And Psyche, next time you want to go for a walk, take some breadcrumbs… it worked for Hansel and Gretel.”

  Phoenix smiled, “We were so worried about you, but Libby said you’d be okay.”

  “One of the perks of having friends in high places,” Libby smiled. She was talking about her guides I guess. Mediums are supposed to know more then you expect.

  “Libby came and got me and Navarre about two hours ago and told us you were lost.”

  “Why didn’t you come and find me?”

  “It was a bit tricky because you kept moving around, we needed to wait until you stopped walking in circles. By the time you did, Libby saw that you would find you own way home so we’ve been waiting.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I should have… I shouldn’t have…”

  Libby put her arm around me. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, you were in no danger and you just learnt another valuable lesson.”

  “What about the creature? Is it still alive?” I couldn’t see the poor little thing anywhere.

  “We put it in a box near the fire.”

  I put a little comfrey and lavender ointment on the little fella. It looks as if it fell into a fire.”

  “What is it?” I looked at Phoenix.

  “Libby, have you seen anything like that before?” Phoenix didn’t sound like he knew either.

  Libby shrugged, “I don’t think so. Maybe it’s a baby forest lizard, some juvenile something.”

  “That’s what I thought, a forest lizard,” I said as if I had some knowledge of rainforest creatures. Phoenix raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

  “I don’t think so, but we will save its life first and figure out what it is later,” he said.

  Phoenix continued to fuss over me for a while bringing me hot coffee and milky sweet porridge. Meanwhile, Libby stayed with me, waiting for my shaking to stop. While the worst of it was over, I was occasionally overcome with uncontrolled shudders.

  “So, do you think we could do some work today?” Libby realised that another day was about to pass without applying any effort to my magickal training.

  “Yeh sure, I’m good to go,” I shuddered as I tried to sound enthusiastic. Each day had presented a new delay and for that, I was secretly thankful. I just wished the events had been a little less dramatic.

  The prophecy was supposed to be my main concern, though it seemed I had learnt a good deal about magick and nothing about the prophecy. I read the prophecy again, this time written in my own handwriting. Although I was filled with doubt, my doubt didn’t relate to these words. I was sure these were the words spoken to the first daughter hundreds of years ago. My uncertainty lay in the notion that none of it was relevant to me, nor even remotely related to my life.

  “You’ve had a few days to think about the prophecy. What do you think it means?”

  I wanted to say I thought it proved I was from a line of crazy women, but I knew Libby would not find it at all amusing. Instead, I said, “I guess the first part is saying that we are children of the earth, rather than human children, like the earth is our mother. But I don’t understand the reference to yew, willow and oak.”

  Libby explained that all humans are children of the earth and we are most certainly human. All belong to the earth. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust and so on. “Yew, willow and oak are three very potent sources of magick. They remind us that we are also daughters of magick. And of course you realise this began in England, not here in Australia.”

  “The next verse is about the veil and how it was used to protect us, but won’t in nine generations,” I hesitated at this because I really wasn’t sure.

  “Yes, that’s very good. We’ll get back to the veil shortly. I’m still not sure what conclusion you came to the other day. The final part says the knowledge will pass from one daughter to the next as it always has. The prophecy is the eternal link that bonds you to the first daughter and all the other daughters. The Darnell Book of Shadows is the memory of that knowledge.”

  “So what about the veil? I read that it was formed because people used dark magick to take advantage of other people,” I asked.

  “I expect that’s very true, though it happened long before I was born or any of the Darnells. The important issue for us is that we live in the generation when it will fail. Perhaps it will just dissolve into nothingness.”

  “Is that why so many people got sick and died? And why there have been so many disasters and wars?”

  “Perhaps, but that may be an entirely different issue. I can’t be sure that one didn’t affect the other, but I don’t know.” And I thought Libby knew everything.

  “There are many ancient tribes that warned us about the veil, but they never said we
could prevent it. A number of ancient civilisations said that our only course of action was to find fellowship with the earth; and even that wouldn’t be enough for some.”

  “Is that why you came to live here? To get away from it all and live in harmony with the earth?”

  “More or less, but my mother came here and started this life for us. She was the foundation builder, the sixth daughter,” she paused and looked at Phoenix. He was quiet, but sat watching me as if he were testing my knowledge… or something.

  For a moment, I said nothing and waited. Then, as if my brain kicked into gear, it came to me, “My great grandmother was the sixth daughter?”

  “Yes, so I’m the seventh daughter,” Libby spoke slowly, deliberately, allowing me time to think this through.

  “No, that can’t be right. That means… Mum was the eighth and I am the ninth? That means I am the ninth daughter? No, how can this be?” I sat in silence, trying to shape the thoughts and sort the confusion raging in my mind. Libby didn’t say a word.

  “No, this is wrong, I’ve been learning about the family’s history, times past, generations before me, long dead women who left a legacy of magick and madness,” I heard myself shouting.

  Libby was calm. “I thought it was understood, Psyche, you were told it was the prophecy of the ninth daughter. I thought you understood this.”

  “You never said I was the ninth daughter!” This was crazy, I had read the words and there was no indication that I was the one.

  “You didn’t want me to understand, you wanted me to make promises and get sucked into your stupid magick before I could escape. That’s why you spoke in riddles and half sentences! That’s why everyone looks at me like they do! That’s why… huh?” I spun to face Phoenix, “Did you know? Oh, of course you knew, and Tahinah and Navarre! Everyone knows, everyone! How could you?”

  “Psyche, you are blowing this way out of proportion, not everyone knows. Sure Phoenix and Tahinah know; even Navarre knows some of it, but not everyone. There’s no need for all this…” I didn’t let her finish, I stood up to run. I had to escape. I had to get out of there. As I ran for the door, Phoenix stepped in the way.

  “How could you?” I spat out and ran out of the house and down the driveway. I could hear Phoenix calling me.

  I should have left when Mum died. I thought about it then, but I was afraid. Instead, I stayed with a woman I hardly knew and promised to learn her stupid magick and a prophecy that meant nothing to me. I did it for Mum, I stayed for Mum. I felt more betrayed than ever, not only by Libby, but also by my mother, the woman who was supposed to protect me and keep me safe. Instead, she lied to me, abandoned me, left me an orphan, and left me with a legacy that was both insane and impossible. These people think I am special when I’m ordinary. Eight generations had lived their lives with the promise that I would be exceptional, when the truth is, I am everything but.

  My mind raced, I had no way of tracking my thoughts and there was no way to make sense of this. At least now, I had a reason to be angry. My ears were ringing, but for once, I wasn’t crying. I was too mad to cry and too stupid to understand who I was from the beginning. Saying no would have been so much easier.

  My running slowed to a stomping march and eventually into a slow walk. The walking calmed me a little, but I had reached the end of the drive too fast to turn around and go home. I was still angry and the last two people I wanted to see right now were waiting for me to return.

  I headed for the old road and found Raven sitting in the former bus shelter. I considered ignoring her, but in reality, she was the only one who had not yet betrayed me. She hadn’t actually ever spoken to me, so I figured that was a good start.

  “Hey, Raven, how are you?”

  “What do you want?” She spat.

  “Nothing. I am having a bad day actually and …” I didn’t get a chance to finish.

  “Be careful the boogie monster doesn’t get you,” Raven snickered.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. You think you’re so special… Everyone’s worried about poor Psyche. You snap your fingers and Phoenix runs. You sneeze and Navarre jumps, poor Psyche, poor friggin’ Psyche. Psyche’s so special, Psyche’s this and Psyche’s that, Psyche, Psyche, Psyche…”

  “I’m sorry… I didn’t realise…” Holy crap, where did this come from? I had never been despised before, but the venom she spewed out made it obvious, Raven detested me.

  “Didn’t realise what? That you’re a spoiled brat and take everyone’s attention? You know you do… The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know, and you can’t make it.”

  “I didn’t realise you felt like this. You hardly know me.”

  “I know more than you think… more than everyone thinks…” She was still spitting out her words and I recoiled as she spoke, “Phoenix gets privileges because he’s so ‘special’, Navarre’s the big hunter and Jalani… well she’s their little princess… As if I didn’t have enough trouble before you came. She told me you’d be…”

  Raven’s eyes squinted and her jaw jutted. I now understood the phrase “if looks could kill.” For a minute, I thought she might vomit in my lap, but she didn’t. With one final scowl, she stormed off.

  “Whatever Raven! You can think whatever you like,” I yelled to the image of her back, departing through the rainforest. This was all screwed up. Raven’s malice had stolen my anger. Anger I deserved to own, even if it were only for an hour or two. Now there was nothing left except shock. There was no warning for Raven’s outburst and her hatred toward me was beyond reason. I thought I was messed up, but Raven was bordering on psychotic.

  When I arrived back at the house, Libby and Phoenix were sitting at the table, watching the door. Phoenix stood up in such a hurry that the old wooden chair fell to the floor.

  “Raven just abused me. She’s crazier than the rest of you. Psychotic even,” I remarked.

  “Why? What did you do?” they asked in unison. Why would they assume I had provoked this?

  “What did I do? I sat beside her in that stupid shelter where she hangs out. She said I was a spoilt brat and that I thought I was something special. She said everyone runs to help me all the time. I had no idea… She just lost it.”

  “And you? Have you calmed down?” Libby ignored everything I’d just said. I had hoped my ranting would change the subject, but it never did.

  “No. Yes. Maybe, but you’re not getting off without a really good explanation, neither of you.” I tried to give them a frosty glare to let them know I was serious, but it just made them smile. My anger really had evaporated and I couldn’t channel anger that no longer existed.

  “Psyche, I’m sorry, but I can’t keep apologising to you. It’s time you grew up. I can only do so much. If you want no part of this, then so be it. We’ll have to do the best we can without you.” Libby said as though she had finally given up.

  “All you have to do is be honest with me. I don’t know anything about anything.” Raven’s explosion proved that. “All this focus is on me and what I am going to do. I think you expect too much.” I protested. I really didn’t know what they expected. “You and Phoenix look at me like… I don’t even know. You have to tell me what is going on. You have to tell me the truth. And why does it matter anyway?”

  “I’ve been trying, but there have been so many distractions and there’s so much to learn. You’re nowhere near ready and I fear that time has run out,” Libby replied.

  More riddles, I forced back a scream. “I’m hungry. I’ll make lunch. You two figure out how to bring me up to speed, today.”

  I tossed more logs into the wood stove and filled the kettle. “Also, you need to know I’m not Superwoman. There are no superpowers and no magick, I am what I am and that’s all.”

  I left them and went to check the little lizard in the box. He was sleeping, but had moved around. His bedding was shifted and he had disturbed the small water dish. I used the dropper to dose him with water an
d found he was much better than I anticipated. Perhaps I was no murderer after all. The ointment Libby made was sitting beside the box in a small jar and I applied it to the wounds on his side.

  I carried the box to the table and took the lizard out of the box. I expected it to scuttle away and prepared myself for a dash to save it again before it fell to the floor. Instead, it glanced around the room and sniffed at the table, then wandered over to smell Phoenix’s hands and then to Libby’s. It behaved more like a puppy than a wild animal. Then, still in puppy mode, the creature romped back across the table to me. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he wagged his tail.

  “He looks to be recovering well,” I commented. The tension in the room had dissolved into sheer amazement as we watched him explore the terrain. Puppies do that, I thought, soften your heart and break down barriers, except this was a reptile.

  “You two can watch it while I finish getting lunch.” I returned to the stove and made tea. Fresh bread was sitting beside the hob and an assortment of salad ingredients suddenly materialised on the bench. Thoughts of ham and tuna flicked across my mind, but these weren’t options anymore. I tried not to reflect on what we didn’t have. But the idea of ham made my mouth water and this only made the craving stronger. I pushed it out of my mind and carried the food to the table.

  “What do you think it eats?” I shoved a piece of lettuce in his face and watched it crunch the fresh leaf. “Obviously lettuce,” I mused as I placed him on the floor.

  “And bugs.” Phoenix pointed as a small green bug was snatched from the floor and hastily devoured.

  This morning, the lizard’s skin was pale and dry. Now, it glistened with rainbow iridescence. In the sunlight, he appeared to be covered in shimmering rainbow scales. Every so often, the flash that caught my eye in the forest sparkled around the room, but only long enough to make you think you were seeing things.

  The reptile had all our attention when he began to cough. Small dry coughs. I thought he was choking on the bug. Suddenly and very unexpectedly, the creature coughed again… and out streamed a wisp of smoke. He coughed again… another larger puff of smoke. There was no mistake… this creature was…