Tomorrows Child

by Starr West

  “It still doesn’t explain why she wanted Psyche.” Phoenix was angry and held my hand so tightly, my fingers were turning white. “But if she thinks Psyche is dead, then maybe the attacks will stop.”

  “If she is truly a witch, then magick might explain the hellhound attacks, but it still doesn’t tell us why,” Libby answered.

  “She told me my magick was weak and that I was a disappointment.” I hated thinking about Volante and what she had done to me, but I knew it was important, “She said she had expected so much more. She tried to take my energy first. She said it was all she really needed, but when she couldn’t do that… well, that’s when she cut me.”

  “Well, we could discuss this all day and still not know why she did any of this, but Psyche needs her rest.” I felt as if I were being dismissed, “Phoenix, please see that Psyche gets some rest.” Now I was sure we were being dismissed.

  Phoenix followed me to my room I was glad to be finished with Volante. I needed some time with Phoenix.

  “I must be the only nineteen-year-old ordered to go to my girlfriend’s room.”

  “Did you feel like we were being dismissed too?”

  “It was pretty obvious. Libby must want to discuss it with Tahinah. I do agree with her though; you do need some rest.”

  “What I really need is you.”

  “I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea how worried we were when you just vanished.”

  “Stay with me.”

  “I should go and let you rest.”

  “I’ll rest better if you stay. I promise I’ll close my eyes and everything.”

  He kissed me then. It wasn’t like the first kiss. It was careful, gentle even, and for the first time in weeks, I felt alive.

  ~~~

  Another week passed before I was strong enough to spend a full day out of bed, but even then, Libby insisted that I rest. We didn’t talk of magick or even Volante. We weren’t ignoring it; we were just working our way past it. The unfamiliar reflection I saw in the mirror was pale and thin. Once, I had curves and plump cheeks and my hair was glossy and alive, but not now. Now, I was thin and my face seemed angular. My elbows were sharp and my hips protruded. It could have been worse.

  I heard a knock at the door, and no one knocked around here. The voices were familiar, but one filled me with fear. It was my father.

  “What on earth do you want?” demanded Libby.

  “I came because I heard the dreadful news,” said Mason.

  “What news?”

  “That my daughter has joined her mother in the afterlife.”

  “What? Where did you hear this?” said Libby, I could hear the confusion in her voice. How could he have heard this? Even if it had been true, it wasn’t as if someone phoned him with the bad news.

  “I thought perhaps there was some memento, something of hers I could take to remember her.”

  “And where did you come across this dreadful news?” I could hear the change in Libby’s voice. Mason’s deception ran deep, but there was only one place he could have gotten the information that I was dead.

  “I know this must be hard on you, so I can go through her things, save you the pain of it. I just want something personal, something to remind me of my daughter.” Mason’s voice oozed the same slime I remembered from his first visit.

  “I am surprised you came back.”

  “Is everything alright Libby?” It was Phoenix.

  “Mason here has come to give his condolences, says he heard the sad news about Psyche.”

  “Really?” said Phoenix. “I’m not sure what to think about that.”

  It was laughable really, this fake sympathy coming from a man I didn’t know and who had only met me once. I stepped out of the bathroom and walked into the kitchen.

  Mason stood there and I watched the horror drain the colour from his face. He started to back away, reaching for the door without turning.

  “Don’t come back.” I said, “You asked me once to let you into my life. Now I have made my decision. If you dropped dead this minute, I would spit on you and walk over your twitching body. If you ever come back, if I ever see you, again I will shoot you myself.”

  He seemed frozen and I wondered if he thought I was a ghost. His arrogance had dissipated and he stuttered without forming a full word. Then he turned and ran. It probably wouldn’t be the last time I saw him, fate being what it is, but I wondered if I had become the type of girl who could kill her own father. I hoped so.

  Chapter 20 ~ PENITENT SPIRIT

  It was dark when I awoke, really dark. There were no shadows or beams of light from the almost full moon, just darkness. For a moment I panicked, but I realised I was not trapped in Volante’s dungeon; I was safe in my bedroom.

  “Mum? Is that you?” The air was still and colder than it should have been. I could almost feel something in the room. Whenever I woke up like this in the middle of the night, I always thought of Mum and how my wishing her here would not bring her back, but I couldn’t help myself. “Mum?”

  A small hazy light appeared at the end of my bed, a vapour glowing dimly that almost looked like early morning mist had invaded my room.

  “Psyche, honey, it’s me… I’m sorry I had to leave…”

  “Mum?”

  “I’m so sorry I left you alone.”

  I rubbed my eyes, trying to remove the blurry sleep haze. I wanted so much for this to be more than my imagination, more than my dreaming.

  “Mum? Are you really here? I am so lost without you. Why did you leave me?” Even if it were my imagination, even if it were a dream, I wanted her back so badly. Just a single moment would be enough.

  “It was just my time, honey, that’s all. I tried to come before… but it’s so hard now. I tried… but I’m sorry… I made it so hard for you…” Tears streamed down my face, I missed her so much. “Don’t be sad, honey, I’m not gone, it’s just different now. I’ll always be here, always. I love you, Psyche.

  “Honey, do you remember your doll? Show Libby the doll I made you! It’s important, Psyche!”

  “What? I don’t even know where it is… Why? What is going on? My doll? Mum! Tell me what you’re talking about.” The hazy light was beginning to fade like mist in the breeze.

  “You have what you need to fix this, the answers lie in your heart. I’m sorry, Psyche… I love you,” and with that, she was gone. After all this time, she only stayed with me for no more than a few seconds. I wanted so much more, I needed so much more. Just one more hug, just one more moment. I still missed her every day as I pushed through the heartache and fumbled through my routine. As I grew up, I followed my dreams and listened to my heart the way she taught me, but her absence left a hollow space inside that I couldn’t fill. I kept these thoughts to myself, turning away when tears filled my eyes and seeking seclusion in the garden when the grief became too much. When I was a little girl, Mum would sing away the nightmares and the terror that they left behind. She kept me safe and her music filled my heart and took away the darkness. As long as love filled my heart, I would be safe, she said. She just never taught me how to fill the hole her absence created. Not even love or music or dreams could do that.

  ~~~

  The only doll I ever owned was a ragdoll Mum made for me when I was a little girl. We called the doll Butterfly, because she was filled with dreams and one day would fly away so my dreams would come true. I remember Butterfly being with me all the time and lying beside me as I slept so she could catch my dreams and take away the nightmares. I just don’t remember when I stopped needing her. The nightmares never stopped. Maybe Mum thought that Butterfly could help fill the space in my heart.

  Our former life remained packed in boxes, in the old bus parked in the shed at the back of Libby’s garden. I could search the bus, but what would Libby want with Butterfly?

  There was no way I could sleep now, my emotions raged, and my mind raced. I had avoided going into the bus since Mum died. I deliberately left the memories entombe
d in the old Bedford. It had been our home for years as we travelled to every town in every remote pocket of the country. There were just too many memories.

  As I walked barefoot over the cold, wet grass, I realised the bus was further away than I thought. The moon hid behind a thick blanket of cloud, and the darkness felt like it was consuming everything. I stumbled in the night, tripping on unseen objects, until fear and grief overwhelmed me. I couldn’t see the bus and by the time my hand felt the cold metal, I was sobbing like a lost child. The door gave way as I pushed on it, just as it always did. I reached under the driver’s seat and felt for the torch. It was there, just as it always was.

  The bus itself wasn’t very big, but it was friendly, comfortable and familiar. Now it was just cold, empty and lonely. The torch came to life and the narrow beam made me realise that there weren’t many places to stash things. The mattress on the big bed was askew and I remembered that the bed base was made of four large storage trunks secured to the floor. We stored all the things we couldn’t part with: old photos, books, old art projects and… maybe my old doll. Nothing was as neatly packed as I remembered, but I expect the bouncing of the bus along old gravel roads had dislodged our keepsakes.

  After about an hour and a thousand tears, I found the doll. Butterfly was dirty and tattered, just as I remembered her, but she was well-made and wrapped in brightly coloured thread. To me, she looked like a rainbow. I stood with my prize, pleased I was able to do one last thing for my mother.

  As I slid the mattress back in place, I felt the hair on my neck prickle and a rush of dread washed over me. I turned slowly just as the torch flickered and went dead. I cursed the torch and hit it against the palm of my hand. I felt the springs give way and sink under the weight of an incredible burden entering the bus. The torch flickered back on, its golden beam reflecting a pair of shiny, red eyes, while the putrid stench of death filled the air.

  My charms! I reached for my neck, felt for my wrist… Both my charms were sitting safely on my dresser. I was alone, trapped, without protection and without a weapon. The torch flickered out and I was in the dark again. I stepped back without turning and edged my way to the rear of the bus. There was no exit and no escape. I knew I would die tonight.

  I could hear the clicking of claws on the floor as the beast drew near. The stench forced my stomach to heave, but I didn’t vomit. Its thick, rasping breaths grew louder and I knew that even if the predator were blind, it would still be able to track me by the scent of fear perforating the air around me. The back of the bus prevented any further retreat and I placed my palm on the rear window to brace myself for what I knew was about to come. At least, it would be quick.

  The beast lunged and I felt the claws smash against my arm and drag into my flesh. The sudden impact threw me against the back window. As I flew through the air and tumbled to the ground, amidst broken glass, I realised my weight had forced out the rear window, thereby creating an escape exit.

  I scrambled upright and ran into the darkness. The beast was screaming and its whimpers echoed into the night. It was trapped in the narrow entry to the bedroom, but the timber doorway couldn’t hold for long. This was my only chance and I prayed I could find my way in the dark. The beast continued to scream into the night, I heard the sound of breaking timber just moments before I fell through the door, into the house. In seconds, the beast was clawing and scratching at the door, howling and whimpering. Libby ran to my side.

  “It won’t get in, Psyche, it should never have gotten this close. Come away from the door.” The beast continued to howl and pace. “The house is protected, Psyche. You’re safe now.”

  Libby led me through the house and into the kitchen, “I expect it will give up soon. They don’t normally hang around in the daylight and we are just minutes away from dawn.” Libby lit a candle and as the light flickered, I felt the first stab of pain and watched the warm flow of blood trickle down my arm.

  “Oh child! What have you done?” Blood dripped from my forehead and spread onto my pink chenille dressing gown like burgundy hair dye, but it was my arm that caused the pain. Blood flowed and dripped from my fingers, forming a puddle at my feet. The smell of my own blood filled my nostrils and the taste reached my throat. Slowly, I felt the darkness return. The last thing I noticed was my blood pooling on the floor.

  ~~~

  When I woke a few hours later, the sound of voices replaced the desperation of the beast.

  “You can’t keep her locked up forever.”

  “Well, what do you suggest, Phoenix? I won’t have her killed because of her own stupidity.”

  “You’d be no better than that witch that kept her prisoner.” Phoenix paused, “Plus you know she’s stubborn, how long do you think you can keep her locked up?”

  “I think we just need to be more careful; she understands the danger now,” I heard Tahinah say.

  I sat up, my head spinning from the blood loss. I still wore my blood-soaked pyjamas, which were now stiff and sticky. As I entered the kitchen, the argument stopped and everyone rushed to assist me. I wanted to push them away, but I needed the help. My head ached, my arm throbbed and dizziness threatened to floor me any second.

  “You know you should lock me away… and for that matter you should throw away the key,” I said. This time, I agreed with Libby, but for an entirely different reason. I added, “but you know that’s not practical or reasonable.”

  “I’m sorry, Psyche, I just don’t know how to keep you safe.”

  “The truth is that danger comes looking for me and I put everyone in danger just being here.” I replied. Libby simply ignored my statement.

  “What in heaven’s name were you doing outside?”

  I didn’t want to tell them about Mum visiting, but there had already been enough secrets and these people were not the enemy. I relayed as much of the events as I could remember.

  “I just don’t understand the doll. I don’t understand why it is important, but I must have lost her when I was running to the house.” Phoenix offered to look for the doll and returned a few minutes later.

  “You must have dropped it when you were thrown through the window.” Small specks of blood were evidence that I was holding Butterfly when I fell. “It really is a mess, there’s so much blood out there. You really are lucky, Psyche.”

  I cringed, I knew I was lucky to be alive… even more than they realised. Phoenix handed me the doll and I passed it to Libby.

  “Oh Celeste, what have you done?!” She gasped before Butterfly even reached her hands. She turned the doll over a few times and tugged at the rainbow ribbon.

  Tahinah took a deep breath as if the air had just been sucked from her lungs “Oh my! May the goddess be gentle with this one.”

  I knew these women were prone to bouts of strange behaviour, but never more so than now and the moments that followed. Tahinah spoke to the goddess; I’m not sure which one, sometimes it seemed as if there was one for every occasion. Libby, on the other hand, paced and yelled at my mother.

  “Celeste! You had better get in here this minute. I don’t care if you’re dead. You know that’s no excuse. I knew there had to be a reason why you didn’t show yourself - why I couldn’t connect. What have you done? My God, Celeste! What have you done?”

  Libby never said anything about not being able to contact Mum. I knew that she didn’t spend all day in conference with dead people, but I didn’t realise that she had never spoken to her at all.

  My lips trembled and the words I spoke were soft and weak; “What is wrong? What has she done?” Tahinah was rubbing my back and chanting like a crazy woman, but I didn’t understand what she was saying.

  “This is a binding, Psyche. Your mother bound your magick so you couldn’t use it, so you couldn’t access it. She crippled you, Psyche. It’s the same as if she’d clipped your wings. Celeste made you a prisoner, you just never knew. She had no right, it wasn’t her place to take away your magick.” Libby took a deep breath. “Please Tahinah
, you’re scaring the child.”

  Tahinah stopped chanting and hugged me. “We can fix this, Psyche, I know we can. It will be okay.”

  “Maybe; maybe we can fix it, maybe it’s too late.” Libby interjected for the first time. She was solemn, her words careful. “Psyche, you had so much potential, so much was promised. You are the future, but you carry the past. A simple binding… yes, we could fix that, but this? She has bound everything. I am surprised you can even dream.” She took another deep breath, “Every Darnell comes into her power slowly, little by little, over many years. As you grow and learn, your power grows. If we remove the bindings now, it may be too much, all of your power turned on in an instant.”

  “Could we just remove some of the binding? Little by little? The way it’s supposed to be?” I hated that Libby was mad at Mum and I hated that Butterfly was the cause of something bad. There had to be a really good reason for the binding or Mum wouldn’t have made me find the doll. Phoenix made tea and placed the mugs in front of us.

  Libby tossed the doll in front of me. “Look at the bindings, Psyche. There is no way to remove just one. They are woven and bound; the wrappings are quite secure. If we remove one, we remove them all. Celeste, where the hell are you? I can’t do this without hurting the girl!”

  “Just leave it then! What does it really matter?” I said. It really didn’t matter to me.

  Libby snorted in disgust “Now you sound just like your mother. What I don’t understand is why I didn’t realise what was happening. I should have felt it.”

  “That vampire witch knew. She told me I was bound and of no use to her. I didn’t know what she was talking about, but I think that’s when she decided to kill me and be done with it.”