Threads of Silk

by Grieve, Roberta

  Ellie wished she could persuade her to move to Essex. But she’d never leave Bert. ‘You’ll find somewhere,’ she said. ‘Now, tell me about the family.’

  ‘Well, Harry must have told you he was working for Sid until he died.’

  ‘Yes, but where’s he living now? There was so much to talk about on the way down – I didn’t get round to asking him.’

  ‘He’s living here, love – didn’t you know?’

  Seeing her puzzled look, Mary’s lips tightened. ‘There wasn’t any baby, she just pretended to be pregnant,’ she said.

  Anger flared. How could Gerda do such a thing? Ellie could see her mother was upset so she changed the subject, asking about Sheila. Mary’s voice grew stronger as she spoke of her two little granddaughters. Vicky and Debbie were both now at school but visited at weekends and holidays. Sheila was still married to Tommy and, although she spoke disparagingly of her son-in-law and the source of his wealth, Mary seemed to have accepted her daughter’s choice of husband.

  ‘She seems happy enough – and Tommy absolutely dotes on the girls,’ she said.

  Ellie, worried that her mother was getting tired, forced a laugh. ‘I’ve been here ages and not even put the kettle on. But first, here’s a present for you.’ She pulled the silk scarf out of her bag and arranged it tenderly round her mother’s shoulders.

  Mary smiled and fingered the soft material. ‘It’s lovely, Ellie,’ she said. ‘Did you really make this yourself?’

  ‘It’s my latest design,’ Ellie told her.

  She turned the scarf round, reading the signature across the corner. ‘Helene,’ she said. ‘Is that what you call yourself now?’

  ‘I’m still Ellie, Mum. Helene is sort of like a trademark.’ How could she tell her mother she’d rejected her name when she’d run away, determined to make a new life for herself?

  As she laid a tray, Ellie knew that she’d have to ask after her father. She hoped he wouldn’t come home before she’d made the tea and taken it into her mother. Then she’d make her escape.

  She helped Mary to sit up and adjusted the pillows behind her. As she handed the cup to her she said as calmly as she could, ‘How’s Dad? Is he working these days?’

  ‘He’s at the Club.’ Mary glanced towards the door. ‘He won’t be home yet. But I think it’d be best if you weren’t here.’

  ‘It’s OK – I’ll go soon. Besides, I only came to see you.’

  ‘He was furious when you ran off. He’ll go mad if he sees you.’

  Seeing her mother’s nervousness, eyes constantly flickering towards the door, Ellie found the courage she’d never had before. She had a right to visit her own mother, didn’t she? How many times over the past few years had she convinced herself that Bert could no longer scare her? But since entering the flat the old apprehension had returned and she’d found herself listening for his steps on the stairs with the same dread she’d felt in childhood. Now, her protective instincts towards her mother made her brave.

  ‘He doesn’t scare me. I’m not a kid any more,’ she said.

  Mary nervously smoothed the sheet between her fingers. ‘You know I can’t stand rows and arguments, Ellie. Please – don’t upset him.’

  ‘It’s OK, Mum. I’ll go soon, but I’ll come again. Maybe you can come and visit me when you’re feeling better.’ She smiled. ‘I want my baby to have a proper family – a grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins.’

  ‘We were a proper family once upon a time,’ Mary said wistfully.

  ‘Oh, Mum.’ Ellie hugged her close, unable to voice what was really on her mind. Had Mum forgotten the rows, the money squandered on drink and gambling, the fact that Bert had wanted Harry put in a children’s home? Maybe she was thinking back to an earlier time, before Ellie had been born, when she’d been happily married to Jim Scott.

  She sighed. Nothing had changed and, despite her promise to keep in touch, Ellie knew she couldn’t face coming again. Her mother was getting better. Hadn’t she said she would soon be ‘good as new’?

  ‘I still get tired though. Don’t know what I’d’ve done without Harry. He’s been so good to me,’ she said.

  ‘You need a holiday, Mum,’ Ellie said. ‘When I’ve had the baby, you must come up to Essex and stay.’

  ‘We’ll see, love.’ But Mary’s voice was tired.

  Ellie noticed the lines of pain etched on the dear face. She had to go – but how could she leave her like this?

  The downstairs door slammed and Ellie jumped. She hoped it was only Harry. But she bit her lip as stumbling footsteps and muttered curses told her Dad was home and she knew the fear was still there. The door opened and there he was, swaying slightly, his eyes bloodshot, face flushed with rage and booze, just as it had been the last time she saw him.

  As he registered her presence, he glared and raised his clenched fists. ‘So, the whore returns. I’m surprised you dare show your face here after the grief you caused your mother,’ he said.

  ‘I’ve told her it’s all right, Bert. I’m glad she’s here,’ Mary protested weakly.

  Bert’s fist slammed against the doorjamb. ‘It’s not all right. I said I wouldn’t have her in the house and I meant it.’ He looked Ellie up and down, a sneer on his face. ‘Look at ’er, all dolled up in ’er posh clothes – and with a bun in the oven, too. ’Oo does she think she is?’

  He paced the room, muttering incoherently. Ellie longed to flee, but she summoned up her courage and faced him. And as she looked him in the eye she wondered how she could ever have been frightened of this pathetic blustering bully.

  She spoke calmly. ‘Look, Dad, I don’t blame you for being upset. But I’ve told Mum I’m sorry. And I’m a married woman now, expecting your first grandchild.’

  Bert turned to her viciously. ‘That don’t alter the fact that you ran off and left me a laughing stock. You would’ve ’ad it made if yer’d stayed at the club – meeting all sorts, famous film stars and that.’

  ‘Oh yes. The likes of Philip Devereux, you mean. I’m not a naïve little girl any more, Dad. I know what you had planned for me.’

  Bert’s eyes flickered nervously towards his wife, but Mary had her face in her hands. ‘I don’t know what yer talkin’ about,’ he said.

  ‘Don’t worry, Dad – I won’t say anything. But you know why I ran away.’ She held out a placatory hand. ‘Look, I’m only here because I heard Mum was ill.’ She didn’t say that Harry had brought her home. ‘I’ll go now – but I’ll come back and see her – and you can’t stop me.’

  Bert looked at her with loathing. ‘I’m master in my own house – I say who comes and goes.’

  Ellie’s lips twisted in a semblance of a smile. ‘I’m not scared any more, Dad. You’re all bluster.’

  ‘I’ll show you….’ He stepped towards her but a cry from the bed stopped him.

  ‘Leave her alone. You drove her away once – I won’t let you do it again.’

  Bert gave a short laugh. ‘You won’t let me? We’ll see about that.’

  Mary started to cry. ‘What’s wrong with you, Bert? Don’t you remember how you doted on her when she was little? How you used to play games with her and call her your little Angel.’

  At the mention of the old pet name Ellie felt the rage rise in her throat and she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out. ‘It was his little games that caused all the trouble, Mum. When I didn’t want to play any more, he forced me – and threatened he’d do worse if I ever told. He hurt me, Mum – that’s why I ran away.’

  Her mother’s face was chalk-white, her eyes wide with disbelief and a dawning horror as she turned to her husband.

  ‘Bert, please tell me it’s not true,’ she gasped.

  ‘Of course it ain’t true. She’ll say anything to justify the way she treated you. She’s just like her sister – always was a little tart, leadin’ blokes on. Look at the way she used to fawn over that so-called brother of hers.’

  The pain in her mother’s eyes made Ellie w
ish she could retract her hasty words. She took a step towards the bed. ‘Mum, I didn’t want you to know. That’s why I stayed away – I couldn’t face you, or him.’

  But her mother turned her face away and tears slid down her cheeks. Ellie looked at Bert and saw her own loathing reflected in his eyes. She picked up her handbag and turned towards the door.

  ‘I’m sorry, Mum – I can’t tell you how sorry.’ Blinded with tears, she stepped on to the landing as her father’s hand shot out and gripped her arm.

  ‘I told you what I’d do to you,’ he hissed, his face close to hers.

  Ellie managed not to flinch. ‘You can’t hurt me any more than I’ve been hurt already,’ she told him, pulling her arm away.

  ‘Oh, can’t I?’ he said, aiming a vicious punch at her stomach.

  Ellie gasped and clutched the newel post. His fist clenched for another blow and all the pent-up rage and humiliation of years exploded as she swung her handbag at his head. The metal clasp caught his temple and he raised a hand in disbelief. Then with a roar of rage he rushed at her. She stepped to one side and watched in horror as he tumbled down, to lie in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs.

  Harry signed his name with a flourish, a huge grin on his face. He was now the proud owner of Barnes Garage on the Southend road – owner of a mortgage at least. Now it was up to him to rebuild the business that Sid’s old mate had sadly let go. As he leaned across the desk and shook hands with the solicitor he was confident that hard work and the skills he’d learned in the army would ensure his success. Nobby had faith in him anyway, and had promised to help him get started.

  He left the office and rushed out into the street, hurrying through the market, waving to his stallholder friends. Anxious to get home and tell Mary and Ellie, he didn’t stop to chat.

  Still grinning he pushed open the side door into the passage. The grin vanished when he caught sight of the still form slumped at the foot of the stairs. Stupid, drunken fool. Served him right, he thought, prodding the body with his foot.

  There was a muffled groan and Bert moved. He was still alive then, more’s the pity. Bending down, Harry quickly examined him. There was a cut on his head, the blood already congealing, and one arm was twisted awkwardly beneath him.

  Harry supposed he ought to help, but it was tempting to leave him there. With a sigh, he eased Bert into a sitting position. ‘You oughter take more water with it,’ he said with a laugh.

  Bert groaned again and opened his eyes. ‘Where is she – the little cow? I’ll teach her—’

  Harry gasped. ‘Ellie,’ he shouted. Leaving the injured man propped against the wall, he rushed up the stairs into Mary’s room. ‘Where’s Ellie? If he’s hurt her….’

  Mary turned a tear-stained face towards him. ‘She’s gone, love. He hit her and she pushed him. I heard him fall. Then she screamed and ran downstairs. I heard the door slam, then it all went quiet.’ She started to cry and Harry went to comfort her.

  ‘Don’t worry, Mum, I’ll find her. We won’t lose her again.’

  ‘Is he…? I was frightened to look.’ Mary clutched at him, hope and fear at war in her eyes.

  ‘No, he’s not dead – unfortunately. He’s got a nasty cut on his head and I think his arm’s broken – but he’ll live.’ Harry stood up. ‘I wish I’d stayed now. But I thought he wouldn’t be back. And I had some business to attend to.’ Suddenly his news didn’t seem so important any more.

  ‘Go after Ellie, love. She probably thinks she’s killed him. It all went so quiet, I thought he was dead myself.’

  ‘I told her I’d drive her back to Essex,’ Harry said. ‘Why didn’t she wait?’

  ‘I expect she was frightened. She didn’t even say goodbye to me,’ Mary sobbed. ‘Find her, Harry, please.’

  ‘I don’t like to leave you alone with him,’ Harry said.

  ‘Don’t worry about me. Just go after her.’

  Harry kissed Mary’s cheek and went downstairs. Bert was still propped against the wall, looking dazed. ‘I can’t believe the little cow hit me,’ he said.

  ‘You probably asked for it,’ Harry’s voice was filled with contempt.

  ‘Well, she ’asn’t ’eard the last of it. She needn’t think she can come back ’ere throwin’ ’er weight around with her lah-di-dah ways.’ Bert got up, staggering a little.

  Outside, he crossed the road towards the Red Lion, clutching his arm to his chest. ‘I suppose you’ll go runnin’ after her. Well, tell ’er from me, she don’t show ’er face again or I’ll ’ave her for assault,’ he shouted over his shoulder.

  Harry ignored the threat and made his way to the railway arches where he’d parked the van. Where would she go? She shouldn’t be wandering the streets in her condition. Perhaps she’d gone to the station. The Chelmsford train left from Liverpool Street and he drove there as fast as he could. But the station was crowded with commuters. He left the van, not bothering to find a parking meter, and raced up the stairs leading to the walkway connecting the platforms. From here he had a good view of the departing passengers. But there was no sign of a pregnant woman in a blue, fur-collared coat.

  He turned away in despair, not knowing what else to do.

  Back at the flat Mary was sitting at the kitchen table in her dressing-gown. She looked up expectantly as Harry came in, her face falling as she saw he was alone. ‘You didn’t catch up with her, then?’

  ‘She’s probably home by now. I’ve got her phone number – we won’t lose her again. Now, tell me what happened.’

  ‘I knew there’d be trouble if he saw her. He’d been drinking, of course.’ Mary’s face twisted in pain. ‘I was so happy for those few minutes. Then he turned up and everything went wrong.’ She started to cry. ‘Oh, Harry, I can’t believe the things they said to each other….’

  He put his arm round her. ‘People say things when they’re angry. It’ll all blow over in time.’ But he was speaking more to comfort her than from any real conviction.

  When Mary hesitantly told him what Ellie had revealed about her relationship with her father, it was all he could do to stop himself rushing out of the house and dragging Bert out of the Red Lion. He’d like to beat him to a pulp. He’d seen the fear in Ellie’s eyes when she’d opened the door to him that morning – until she realized who it was. And he’d sensed her apprehension as they neared home. Now he understood why she’d cut herself off from her family.

  Mary sobbed as she berated herself. ‘I should have realized. I had my suspicions about what he was doing to Sheila. God forgive me, I blamed her. But his own daughter….’ She bit her knuckles, stifling her sobs.

  Harry comforted her, blaming himself for being the cause of stirring up so much grief. But when he tried to say so, Mary insisted it had been worth it, just to see Ellie for those brief few minutes. ‘I can’t thank you enough for making her come,’ she said. ‘How did you know where to find her?’

  He told Mary how he’d managed to track her to the lovely old farmhouse and how she’d nearly fainted when she opened the door and saw him standing there.

  ‘I nearly fainted too – when she walked in the room. I had no idea you were trying to trace her. Why didn’t you tell me?’ Mary asked.

  ‘I thought of it as soon as I recognized her from that magazine. But it wasn’t easy. And I didn’t want to raise your hopes. Suppose she’d refused to see you?’

  Mary nodded, imagining how she’d have felt. ‘If I’d known where she was I’d have jumped on a train straight away – however bad I was feeling,’ she said.

  ‘Yes – and you were in no fit state to do that, or to have the worry of it. Anyway, I would have gone sooner, but what with Sid being ill – and then having all his business to sort out after the funeral. Today was the first chance I had.’

  ‘Thank you, Harry. You can’t imagine how much it meant to me, being with her just for that little time. After today’s upset, she might not come again – and I wouldn’t blame her. But at least I can picture her in
her nice house with a good husband and her baby. All I ever wanted was to know she was well and happy.’

  Harry smiled at her. ‘She might not come here again, Mary. But I’m going to make sure she visits us in our new place – even if I have to drag her by the hair.’

  ‘You mean, you’ve found somewhere – we won’t have to go in one of those awful council flats?’ Mary had always dreaded being stuck ten floors up in a block miles away from the people she’d known all her life.

  Harry took the papers from his jacket pocket and passed them to her, smiling at her shocked expression.

  ‘You’ve actually bought this place? It’s yours?’ she asked.

  ‘All signed and sealed. I told you I’d put Sid’s money to good use, didn’t I? And I’ve done his old mate a favour into the bargain.’ Harry leaned forward and took her hand. ‘You will come with us won’t you, Mary? I can’t bear to leave you here with him.’

  Mary looked confused. ‘You mean – move out of London? Leave Bert?’ For a moment she looked frightened. Her hands shook and she bit her lip. Then she looked up and smiled. ‘Why not? I’ve done my best by him all these years – and after today I don’t think I owe him anything.’

  ‘We’ll keep it between ourselves for now, shall we?’ Harry said.

  ‘I don’t relish when the time comes to tell him I’m going,’ Mary confessed.

  ‘You let me worry about that. Now, sit by the fire and get comfortable and I’ll go and get some fish and chips. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. While I’m out I’ll try phoning Ellie, make sure she got home all right.’

  He went straight to the phone box on the corner. But there was no reply. When he’d bought their supper, he tried again. Still no answer. He let it ring for a long time before giving up and going back to the flat, wondering what to tell Mary. He didn’t want her to worry, although he could feel the knot of apprehension growing in his stomach. Even if Ellie hadn’t reached home yet, her husband should have answered the phone. Hadn’t she told him Alex was due back later that afternoon?