Superior Collision

by C. A. Szarek

  Shannon didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t try. Emotional rollercoasters had never been his thing. He studied his basketball shorts and noted the differences in his mom’s hand, still entwined with his much larger one.

  “I think she was headed to you, you know. If she hadn’t collapsed, Taylor would’ve showed up at your house.”

  He laughed. “I still would’ve freaked.” Shannon managed to look into his mom’s face.

  “I know.” She smiled. “Do you want to see your daughter?”

  “Yes.”

  Tears flowed freely when his mom took him into the NICU.

  His daughter was tiny, and perfect, and she did look like him, complete with a minuscule dimple in her right cheek. But the incubator made him feel a million miles from her—she was untouchable, instead of right in front of him. It highlighted her unbelievable fragility.

  Shannon’s mom slid her arm around his middle and squeezed, as if she could read his mind.

  From all the neo-natal stories she’d told over the years, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold his baby, not yet anyway. He’d always felt bad for those parents his mom had talked about.

  Now that he was one, his minor regret for people he didn’t know melted into something serious and personal. Pain, because he wanted to know his baby was okay, and all the monitors said she wasn’t.

  Emotion caught in his throat and he swiped at his face. “When can I hold her?”

  “Not today, probably, but you can touch her.” His mother’s voice was low and solemn. She patted his lower back. “Go on. Talk to her. Touch her skin. She won’t break. Let her know who you are.”

  He blinked tears away, sucked in a breath then sank into the chair Mom had pushed over. “Hi, baby girl.” Shannon’s voice shattered, so he cleared his throat.

  He stroked her arm. Her skin was unbelievably soft. He lifted her tiny hand, and examined her little fingers, her nails.

  The baby turned her face toward him and he almost lost it again. Her eyes were open and she shifted, lifting one of her little feet.

  “I’m your daddy,” he whispered, gripping that tiny foot and kissing the bottom of it. “How’s she doing, Mom?” He looked over his shoulder to see his mother staring at them, a soft smile on her face.

  “Okay for now. Don’t let the monitors scare you. They’re standard and don’t mean her prognosis is bad. We’re keeping a close eye on her oxygen intake. It’s good now, but if she needs help, we’ll put her on the CPAP.”

  “She’s beautiful,” Shannon breathed, reaching out to caress her cap of downy dark hair.

  “She is. Certainly looks like a Crowley.” The pride in her voice made him smile. “Keep touching her, baby. Talk to her. Let her know your voice. It’ll help you connect since you can’t hold her yet. Keep in mind, it’ll be harder for Taylor. A lot of moms get very depressed they can’t hold their babies. It’s not a normal birth story. She’ll need you. They both will.”

  “I love her. I love them both so damn much.” His words were strained.

  His mother rubbed his back and kissed his temple. “I know, honey. So you’ll have to help them both, until you can bring her home.”

  Home?

  Where the hell was home going to be for Taylor and his baby?

  “When will that be?” he choked out.

  “It depends on how she does.”

  He nodded because he didn’t know what to say, and caressed his daughter’s little leg.

  “Doc Hayes will want to talk to you, too,” Mom said.

  “Okay…”

  Silence fell and Shannon watched and stroked the baby he’d thought would never be, until his heart was bursting with love for her…and her mother. “Mom, I need to see Taylor.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  He heard the smile in her voice.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Taylor came around slowly, and everything echoed. She blinked and tried to rub her eyes free of grit, but her hand smarted. She gasped when she spotted an IV sticking out of it. The tape pulled against her skin, and she winced.

  “Easy.”

  The familiar male voice jolted her.

  It has to be a dream.

  She needed to sit up. Movement was bad, because she hurt. It was a dull ache at the moment but—

  Everything slammed into her at once—the gas station, the ambulance, Shannon’s mom. The doctor telling her they needed to operate, now. Wanting Shannon, and being told they couldn’t wait for him.

  Taylor cried out, “My baby!” She tried to sit up. Agony assaulted her, radiating out from her middle, consuming her chest, but two strong hands pushed her back down, gently, until her shoulders touched the unfamiliar bed.

  “Our baby is fine,” Shannon whispered.

  She met his eyes and burst into tears. “I’m so sorry.” Moisture was hot on her cheeks and no amount of sucking in air was helping her regain composure.

  Why is he here?

  His mother had probably called him. He’d come? Probably for their daughter.

  What if he hated her?

  “I don’t hate you.”

  Damn, she’d lost all control. She was blubbering aloud?

  Heat burned her neck and settled in her cheeks. She still couldn’t stop freaking crying. “I’m so sorry, Shannon. So sorry,” Taylor whispered through her gulps.

  “Shhh,” he soothed, pushing her hair out of her face. “We can talk about that later. Do you want to sit up?” His voice was soft, as if he thought she was going to break.

  Taylor wiped her eyes, and managed a nod.

  Shannon pushed the button on the side of the bed until it inclined. He fluffed the pillow behind her and returned to his seat. The chair was pushed flush to the side of her bed, but he wasn’t close enough.

  “Are you hurting?”

  Not physically. “No. Where’s our baby?” she whispered.

  He caressed her cheek, which made her pulse speed up.

  Unfortunately, the heart monitor gave her away in that regard. When Taylor had the guts to look at Shannon, he wore a smirk. He was so handsome.

  He’d finally cut his hair, and she found herself preferring it shaggy. His whiskey-colored eyes were the same, and the tenderness in his gaze made her long for him, but it confused her, too.

  Am I seeing things?

  “She’s in the NICU, but she’s a little trooper, she’s breathing on her own. She’s beautiful, Taylor. Just gorgeous. She weighs four and a half pounds, but she’s doing well for being born at thirty-four weeks, or so my mom and Doc Hayes said.” His expression, a mix of wistfulness and pride, made her heart skip. He looked…happy.

  “Can I see her?” she managed, but it came out a half-stutter. “I need to see her. I didn’t get to see her.”

  “The nurse told me they’re running some tests, but I’m sure you can, in a little while. I’ll go with you. Listen, Taylor—”

  “Tests?” she demanded.

  “Everything will be okay, I promise. It’ll be a long road, but our daughter’s strong. Here, I took pictures.” Shannon handed her his phone.

  Taylor held the cell like a lifeline, thumbing through six or seven pictures of their tiny baby girl. She had circular monitors stuck all over her little body, but she didn’t look as bad as Taylor had feared.

  She thumbed through the pictures several times, but the ache in her body was only relieved a little bit. Her baby would be okay, but she still needed to see her with her own eyes. Touch her. Hold her.

  Tears cascaded again when she looked at the last photo—a close up. The baby had Shannon’s dark hair, his dimple, and definitely his nose.

  “I’m so sorry,” she blurted.

  Shannon’s expression softened. “I believe you, sweets.”

  Sweets?

  Her bottom lip wobbled and she lost the battle to stave off more tears. She needed to touch him. Taylor reached for Shannon’s hand.

  He didn’t turn her away.

  Shannon entwine
d their fingers and kissed her knuckles. With his free hand, he wiped her tears away. “I owe you an apology. For the things I said that day.”

  She didn’t know what to say, so she looked down. How could his need to apologize be stronger than hers? She’d hidden the existence of their child. And still… He’d returned to her side.

  He leaned over and gently guided her chin up. “I’m sorry, Taylor, for the things I said to you. The rest we can talk about later.”

  Taylor swallowed. “I’m not going to fall apart.”

  “You almost died today.” He stared at her hard. Like he was trying to figure out what to say next, or trying to read her mind.

  When his gaze slid to her lips, she squeezed his hand.

  “Do you want to kiss me?” she whispered.

  Shannon swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I shouldn’t.”

  “Shouldn’t want to or shouldn’t kiss me?” She tried not to wince. Maybe he was only there because of the gravity of what’d happened.

  Maybe the endearment meant nothing. Maybe the apology was a courtesy for the mother of one’s child. Maybe the look in his eyes didn’t mean what Taylor hoped it did.

  “Both.” He flashed a half-smile that revealed a touch of guilt.

  She shouldn’t have the capacity to think he was sexy at the moment, but she did. Her everything hurt, and she was going to need pain meds soon, but perhaps she could relieve the ache in her chest regarding the man she loved. “What if I wanted to kiss you?”

  He smiled, this time a full one that under normal circumstances would’ve made her insides wobble. “And here I was, feeling like an asshole because of what you’ve been through today, and all I could think about was tasting your mouth.”

  “Not an asshole. C’mere.”

  Shannon dipped down, painfully slowly, as if he really did think she was going to splinter into a million pieces, and brushed his lips against hers. He kept it short and chaste, until Taylor slipped her unencumbered hand to the back of his neck, and buried her fingers in his dark hair. Then she opened for him, and their tongues dueled.

  When he pulled away, she whimpered, not because he’d hurt her, but because she’d felt close to him again, as if no time had passed, and the duration of his lips on hers was too short. She didn’t want the kiss to end. Or for him to leave her side. Ever.

  “Are you okay?” Shannon whispered against her mouth. He caressed her cheek and ran his other hand over her hair.

  “Yes.” She kissed him once more before he leaned back. “Shannon, I—”

  “Ah, you’re awake. How’re you doing, Mama?” A brunette nurse with a bright smile and royal blue scrubs swept into the room and destroyed the moment. She carried a pitcher of ice water, and set it on the bedside table.

  Taylor cursed. She’d been about to tell Shannon she loved him. It could wait, since it obviously had to. “I’m fine. I want to see my baby.”

  “Need pain meds?”

  “In a bit, I want to see her first.”

  The nurse nodded and looked at Shannon. “How about you, Dad? You doing all right?”

  He swallowed and nodded, and took Taylor’s hand again. “Can we see our daughter?”

  “I’ll check and be right back.” Then she was gone.

  “Dammit,” Taylor whispered.

  “What’s wrong?” Shannon’s demand was accompanied by knitted eyebrows and a squeeze of her fingertips.

  “Nothing. She interrupted me. I love you.”

  Wow, way to blurt things. Maybe the pain meds—or residual anesthesia—were muddling her brain.

  Shannon was frozen. His beautiful eyes were wide and his mouth agape.

  Is that bad?

  Her heart thundered and she didn’t even care that the monitor was giving her away again. She stared at the man she loved, the father of her baby. Couldn’t look away.

  He still had her hand in his.

  That has to be a good thing, right?

  Words fell out of her mouth. “I was coming to your place today. I wanted to tell you everything and apologize. Tell you I want to be with you and raise our baby together. Marry you. I just didn’t get a chance because…well, because of what happened. I’m so damn sorry for what I said and did, and I…” She shook her head. “I don’t know how to make it up to you. I just… I wanted you to know. You had a right to know. I was wrong. Selfish, like you said.” Taylor was babbling, and Shannon still hadn’t moved. She swallowed hard. Sucked in air that only made her middle hurt worse. “I’m so relieved our baby is okay, and that you’re—”

  “Taylor.”

  “What?”

  “Shut up.”

  She blinked. Her mouth snapped shut.

  “I told you we’d talk about all this later,” he growled.

  “But—”

  “I love you, too.” Shannon kissed her again, this time without the gentleness he had moments before.

  Taylor didn’t care. She fused her mouth to his, clutching his gray muscle shirt with both hands, although she regretted that when her IV hand throbbed a protest.

  He kissed her until her brains scrambled, and the heart monitor was fairly screaming. When they parted, his eyes shot to the monitor, then back to hers, and they both laughed.

  She flexed her hand, since she couldn’t rub the soreness away.

  “Are you all right? Was I too rough?”

  Taylor shook her head. “I love you.”

  Shannon smiled. “I love you, too. And yes.”

  “Yes?” She held her breath.

  “Yes to everything, especially the marriage part. And the raising Lily together part.”

  “Lily?” Taylor gasped. She bit her bottom lip, but the damn tears had staked a claim again, clouding her vision and soaking her face.

  “My mom suggested it. If you don’t—”

  “I love it. I really do. I didn’t have a name picked out.”

  He cupped her cheeks, thumbing her tears away. Shannon kissed her forehead then pressed a tender kiss to her lips. “Mom will love that. She went to get Cailey, I hope you don’t mind. If it’s too much for today—”

  “It’s not. They’re family, right?”

  His smile was slow and full, and his eyes were misty.

  The nurse interrupted them again, but this time it didn’t bother Taylor. “Dr. Hayes says you can see her for a little bit.”

  Shannon kissed Taylor’s knuckles and smiled again. “Let’s go see our baby girl, sweets.”

  Her breath caught and she forced a nod, then sucked back some more tears. “Let’s go see Lily.”

  Also available from Totally Bound Publishing:

  Crossing Forces: Collision Control

  C.A. Szarek

  Excerpt

  Chapter One

  Her laugh got his attention first.

  Jared looked over his shoulder. Four women at a table. A blonde, a brunette, a redhead, and the last had long wavy hair somewhere between blonde and brown.

  Which had the laugh that intrigued him?

  She laughed again and his eyes shot to the one in the corner, facing the bar.

  They were all pretty, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from her long, wavy locks.

  Jared watched them talk, wearing a smile. He needed to see more of her body. Her purple shirt was tight and displayed large breasts. She was curvy. He could see it even from his distance at the bar. Not heavy by any means, but not his normal type.

  Gorgeous.

  Nowhere in sight was his usual wannabe supermodel. Too bad he couldn’t tell what color her eyes were.

  “All right, dude, I need to hit the road.” His buddy’s voice made him jump. Amusement flashed across Pete’s green eyes. “You okay?”

  Jared bit back a curse. “Yup.”

  Pete probably needed to get home to his wife, Nikki. Jared’s partner, Cole, had left to head home to his wife and two kids, too. Cole was married to Pete’s partner, Andi. Both his fellow detectives had someone to go home to.

  Env
y made his gut heavy.

  Since when do you give a shit about that?

  Jared swallowed a groan. He needed to get laid.

  Pete glanced at his watch. “See you in the a.m., then. Chief wants us all in for morning patrol briefing. Did Lucas tell you?”

  “Yeah, but he didn’t say why.”

  “Neither did the boss. We’ll find out in the morning.”

  “Guess so.”

  “Hope it’s not a long day. Hell, make that a long week.” Crane sighed.

  “Everything okay?”

  Pete made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Oh, yeah. My brother and Lee are coming in Wednesday with the baby for Thanksgiving. They’re staying through the end of next week. First time meeting my niece and all that. She’s two months old now, so I’d like to actually spend time with my family, ya know?”

  “Ah.” Jared nodded. Yeah, he got it.

  His adoptive parents were in Antioch, and his little sister away at school in Corpus, but they were all important to him. Although, Jared had no clue where his older brother was. He had Joe’s cell number, but he hadn’t talked to the guy in almost a year.

  “So, I hope it’s not a big deal, is my point,” Crane said.

  “We’ll deal, no matter what. It’s always tough before we get into the holidays. Hell, maybe he wants to talk the on-call schedule or some shit.”

  Pete arched and eyebrow and smirked. “At seven in the morning? Doubtful. Gut says it’s a case. Hopefully Andi and I get to say not it.”

  Jared laughed. “Me and Cole got your back. We can always make Sully and Jamison take it.”

  “Not likely. They’re immersed in that crap they’re helping the county with.”

  “Damn. That’s right. No worries. Me and Lucas can take it.” He thumbed his chest.

  “Good deal.” Pete glanced at his watch. “I really gotta run. Pregnant wives get sorta grumpy when you’re late.” The guy’s expression belied his words. The detective was on cloud nine about becoming a father. Everyone knew he adored his wife, too.