No Safe Place

by Mary Head

  “I can’t,” she said, her eyebrows knitting together as she shook her head again, her breath hitching in her chest. “Not yet, I can’t talk about it yet, please don’t make me.”

  David stood quickly, placing his hand on the side of her head as he leaned down to kiss her temple.

  “Okay, baby, it’s okay.” He closed his eyes, angry with himself for upsetting her so much. “You don’t have to.”

  “Please,” she whispered, her voice wavering a little. “Just tell me if he’s okay.”

  David sighed as he straightened, reaching for a tissue and handing it to Hannah as he sat back down.

  “He made it through surgery, but he’s still unconscious. He’s stable, though, and they think he’ll be fine.”

  “Thank you,” she murmured with a relieved nod, sniffling a little. He smiled, gently rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, and the two of them settled in to watch TV.

  It wasn’t long before there was a quiet knock on the open door, and they both looked over.

  Hannah frowned when she saw her mother standing in the doorway, anger swelling in her gut. She had finally figured out all those years ago that she just wasn’t a priority for her mother, and never would be, so she couldn’t figure out why Karen was even here.

  “Hey, Hannah,” Karen said softly, her lips curving slightly as she took a step into the room.

  Hannah glanced at her dad, and then back at Karen, her frown deepening as she turned onto her back to better see Karen.

  “What are you doing here?” she said sharply, staring hard at her mother and ignoring David when he murmured her name reproachfully.

  “I wanted to see you.” Karen stepped fully into the room and walked slowly towards the bed. “I’ve been in town since Saturday –” She frowned. “Your dad didn’t tell you?”

  “No,” Hannah replied, turning an annoyed look towards David. He stared back apologetically, his mouth open to speak, but Karen cut him off with a shake of her head.

  “Well, I have. I wanted to be here until – until they found you. Juliet called me last night to tell me you were okay, and then your dad called me this morning, and I had to come by.”

  Hannah stared at her, still frowning, not sure what to say. She was still angry with her mother for so many things, and felt confused at this sudden change in her priorities.

  Karen came to a stop beside the bed, resting her hands lightly on the railing. “I wasn’t planning to stay long. I understand that you’re still mad at me.” She shook her head, pressing her lips together for a moment. “I know I was never the best mother to you. I got a lot of things wrong, and I let you down. But when your dad called me and told me you were missing –”

  She broke off and shook her head again, and Hannah was startled to see the tears shining in her eyes.

  “I realized I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you, and I never tried to make things right between us.” She took a breath and bit gently on her lip before she spoke again. “I’m sorry, Hannah. For everything.” She reached tentatively for Hannah’s hand and looked relieved when Hannah let her take it, gently squeezing her fingers. “I may not have known how to love you, but I did – I do care about you, very much.”

  Her gaze dropped to their hands again, her brow creasing as she opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, as though she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say.

  “If you ever want to talk, your dad has my number,” she said finally, glancing at David, who nodded, and then looked back at Hannah. “I’m glad you’re okay, Hannah, I really am.” She hesitated and then added, “I hope you’ll call me, but if you don’t, I’ll understand.”

  She squeezed Hannah’s hand again and then let it go, glancing at David once more before turning and walking from the room, swiping a hand over her cheeks as she turned down the hallway.

  Hannah stared at the door for a moment, and then lowered her gaze to her hands, now resting in her lap. Ever since she was a little girl, all she had ever really wanted from Karen was for her to act like a mom, and time and time again, Karen had let her down. It was why Hannah had told her mother she never wanted to see her again, because there was no point anymore, but now, she felt that desire again, for her mom to be her mom, and was surprised at how quickly those feelings had returned.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” David said softly. “I should’ve told you she was here, but it just slipped my mind with everything that’s going on.”

  Hannah stared at her hands a moment longer before lifting her gaze to David.

  “Is she – does she mean it?” she asked quietly. She wanted to be hopeful, but also couldn’t bear the thought of Karen disappointing her all over again.

  David nodded. “I think she does. She came down here and decided to stay of her own volition, and told me in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t leaving until you were found.”

  Hannah looked back at her hands, worrying her lip as her brow creased slightly.

  “What should I do?” she asked when she looked at David again.

  He shook his head. “You know I can’t tell you that, baby. It’s always been up to you to decide what to do about your mother, and this is no different. But you know I won’t stop you, whatever you choose.” He reached for her hand and held it tightly. “You don’t have to decide anything right now.”

  She nodded, and he stood to kiss the side of her head before reaching for the TV remote.

  “Let’s see if there’s a movie on somewhere,” he murmured, settling into his chair once more.

  Hannah smiled slightly and shifted towards the edge of the bed, trying to get as close to her dad as she could. With a little more maneuvering, she was able to rest her head against his, and after a few minutes they were settled comfortably and quietly, their hands joined on the mattress.

  The quiet didn’t last long before someone else stepped into the room. Madison stared at them with wide eyes, and jerked a thumb over her shoulder.

  “Holy shit, did I just pass your mom in the hallway?”

  Hannah gave a short laugh, and Madison’s expression turned sheepish as she looked at David.

  “I know you said to wait, but I just couldn’t.”

  “That’s all right,” David murmured with a smile, and pushed to stand. “Think I’ll go grab lunch for Han and me. You want anything, Maddie?”

  “No, thanks,” Madison replied.

  David bent to kiss Hannah’s forehead, and then walked around the bed and out of the room.

  “Dad told you to wait?” Hannah said as Madison moved closer to the bed.

  “He said something about not overwhelming you –”

  “You’re the last person to overwhelm me,” Hannah murmured. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  Madison rested her hands on the bed railing, and Hannah could see her eyes roving over her face, her eyebrows knitting together.

  “Are – are you okay?” Madison blew out her breath in a loud whoosh. “Such a dumb question.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Han.”

  “For what?” Hannah asked, an ache building in her throat.

  “I just – I don’t know. I know you asked me not to tell your dad or Jules about feeling like you were being followed, but after I found out about what happened. . . I wish I had. I should have.”

  Hannah shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Maddie. There’s nothing –” She broke off abruptly, lowering her head as she pressed her lips together, and her tears spilled over when she looked up again. “I missed you, Lexie.”

  Madison sniffled. “I missed you too, Lisey.”

  Hannah shifted on the bed, turning onto her side to free up the other half of the mattress. Madison took the hint and set her purse down to climb onto the bed next to Hannah. They moved close together, Hannah resting her head on Madison’s shoulder, and Madison reached for Hannah’s right hand. Hannah watched her lightly run her fingers across the bruises around her wrist and then reach over to brush her fingertips over the
brace around her left wrist.

  “What did they do to you?” Madison whispered in a wounded sort of voice.

  Hannah pulled in a deep breath, the words rising in her throat, and then swallowed hard as she snuggled closer to Madison, sliding her arm across the other girl’s stomach. Madison sighed softly and lifted her arm around Hannah, sweeping her thumb over the curve of her shoulder and resting her cheek against the top of her head.

  Chapter 58

  The doctor came by again a few hours later to check Hannah over one last time, and then announced that she could go home. Madison had left shortly after lunch, saying she needed to get to work and promising she would visit Hannah again the next day, so a nurse helped her get dressed while David talked over some last minute things with the doctor. It wasn’t long before Hannah was settled in a wheelchair, and she looked hopefully up at David as he steered her out into the hallway.

  “Can we go see Eli? Just for a couple minutes?”

  He nodded with a soft smile. “Sure.”

  They arrived at Eli’s room after a few minutes, and David rapped his knuckles quietly on the open door. Eli turned his head to look at them and smiled broadly.

  “Hey.” He shifted a little, his smile dimming slightly until he was comfortable again. “Come on in.”

  David pushed Hannah inside, and the petite, dark-haired woman who was seated in the chair next to Eli’s bed stood.

  “I’ll give you all a few minutes,” she murmured with a small smile as she slipped from the room.

  “That was my mom,” Eli explained as David pushed Hannah forward, positioning her next to the bed, and then settled into the chair behind her.

  Hannah stared anxiously at the large bandage on Eli’s shoulder and the sling supporting his arm before raising her gaze to meet his. “How are you?”

  “Not too bad. Think the drugs have something to do with that, though,” he said, still smiling as he looked at Hannah. She giggled softly, and his smile brightened.

  “And how are you?” he asked, his gaze flicking to the brace on her wrist. “I guess it was sprained.”

  She nodded and gave a small smile. “Yeah, but I’m okay.” A quick laugh escaped her. “I guess we’re going to have to rain check on those plans we made.”

  Eli laughed too. “Guess so. But I fully intend to make good on those plans. I’ve still got your number.”

  Hannah reached into the pocket of her sweat pants and pulled out a creased slip of paper. “And I’ve still got yours.”

  Eli’s eyes widened. “You had it the whole time?”

  “Yeah,” Hannah murmured, looking down at the paper again before carefully slipping it back into her pocket.

  There was a brief pause, and then she shifted forward slightly, lifting her hand hesitantly onto the bed and running her fingers along the raised pattern of his blanket.

  “I just – I wanted to say thank you,” she finally said, her voice soft. “For everything.”

  Eli’s hand moved, and Hannah watched as he brought it closer to hers until their hands were just touching, and a heartbeat later he wrapped his pinky around hers. She raised her gaze to his face and smiled when she saw he was looking at her again, his blue eyes sharp as they met hers.

  “Any time,” he murmured.

  They were quiet a moment, and then his smile returned, his finger tightening a little around hers as he stared intently at her.

  “You have really pretty eyes.” He sounded so awed, and Hannah laughed, ducking her head and brushing away the tear that slid down her cheek when she closed her eyes. She didn’t know if it was the repetition of what he had said to her the first time they met, the tone of his voice, or the way he was looking at her, but it made her feel better in a way she knew the painkillers couldn’t.

  “Thank you,” she said when she looked back up at him. She paused and then added, “So do you.”

  His entire face lit up and she laughed again.

  There was a soft creak behind her as David stood, and she felt him take the handles of her wheelchair.

  “Think we should let Eli rest,” he murmured.

  Hannah nodded and reluctantly pulled her hand from Eli’s as she shifted back in her seat.

  “I’ll see you later,” she said, and he nodded, still smiling.

  David wheeled Hannah out into the hall, and they headed for the elevator, both of them anxious to get home.

  Chapter 59

  “Here we are, baby,” David murmured sometime later as he guided Hannah over the threshold of the house, careful not to move too fast or jostle her too much.

  Keeping his arm around her waist, he twisted to close the front door and then walked with her into the living room. There wasn’t a box or a file or even a trace of scrap paper to be seen, and he felt a rush of gratitude towards Juliet.

  Footsteps sounded from upstairs, and they looked up to see Juliet descending the stairs, smiling broadly as she hurried to meet them.

  “Hey, sweetie,” she said, pulling Hannah into a hug as David took a step back, smiling as he watched them.

  Hannah hugged her back, holding her tightly as she hid her face against Juliet’s shoulder. She had seen her so sporadically the night before that seeing her now made Hannah realize how much she had missed her.

  A moment later Hannah gasped softly, and Juliet instantly pulled away as David moved forward, his expression concerned.

  “Oh, sorry, I’m sorry, Han,” she said, her eyebrows knitting together as Hannah shook her head.

  “It’s okay, the drugs haven’t completely worn off yet.” She smiled slightly. “Just a little tender still.”

  Juliet smiled back and reached up to push Hannah’s hair over her shoulder. Even though it was to be expected, she was still a little shocked at how dirty Hannah’s hair was, and something must have shown on her face because Hannah grimaced a little.

  “Yeah, I know, it’s disgusting.” She raised a hand to the lank blonde strands, her nose crinkling. “Definitely need to shower.”

  “I’ll take you upstairs,” David said, setting Hannah’s bag of Reese’s Pieces and the small white prescription bag in his hand on the table behind the couch before stepping forward to slip his arm around her waist again.

  He helped her up the stairs and down the hall, pausing a couple times to let her rest, and then pushed into her room.

  “Dad,” she said almost immediately, sagging against him, and he looked at her, a little bewildered.

  “What?”

  She gave him a look and then pointed towards the bed. “What’s that?”

  “A laptop,” David said, his lips twitching.

  “It’s a new laptop. Dad –”

  “Honey, your old one was broken,” David said a little incredulously. “You’ve still got a lot of school to get through, and besides, I was going to get you one for your birthday anyway. It’s a gift; you can’t say no. And this one is way better than your old one.”

  Hannah sighed, and David grinned, pressing his lips to her temple.

  “I had Jules go out and get it while she was running errands. She said she was going to pull all of your stuff off the old one and put it on the new one. I assume she did, anyway.”

  Hannah laughed, shaking her head slightly, and David grinned again. Her arm tightened around his waist and she sighed again.

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Of course, baby,” he replied, holding her closer and kissing her once more.

  They separated after a couple of seconds, and she stepped over to her desk first, withdrawing the piece of paper with Eli’s number on it from her pocket and slipping it carefully into the top drawer. Then she turned and walked to her dresser, taking out some fresh clothes and tucking them under her arm as David walked with her to the bathroom.

  “Do you need any help?” he asked, looking a little apprehensive.

  “I think I can manage,” Hannah said, smiling slightly.

  He nodded, though he still looked worried. “Okay. Let us know when
you’re finished, I don’t want you walking down the stairs by yourself. And don’t lock the door. Just in case.”

  Hannah’s smile widened. “Okay, Dad.”

  David smiled back and stepped from the room, pulling the door shut behind him and heading back downstairs.

  The living room was empty, and he moved into the kitchen, finding Juliet leaning against the counter, sipping a mug of coffee.

  “Han’s meds?” she asked, nodding at the bag she had set on the counter.

  David nodded, tugging it open and peering inside. “Painkillers. I’m sure she’ll love them once the stuff they gave her at the hospital wears off.”

  Juliet laughed softly and nodded, taking another sip of coffee as David set the pill bottle down with a quiet rattle before stepping over to the back door to inspect the new window.

  “Finished a few hours ago,” Juliet told him. “Nice, thick, double-paned glass, virtually unbreakable. Or at least that’s what they said.” She saw the corner of David’s mouth twitch, and she smiled. “Bill’s in your office.”

  “Think I’ll save that for later,” he muttered, turning away from the door and returning Juliet’s smile as he stepped around the bar.

  She nodded towards the coffee pot. “Coffee’s fresh.”

  A happy sigh escaped David’s lips as he moved to take a mug from the cupboard. “Oh, thank god. That crap at the hospital was terrible.”

  After he fixed his coffee, he came to stand beside Juliet, his arm brushing hers as he leaned against the counter.

  They sipped in silence for a couple of minutes, and then David looked over at her, a slow smile spreading across his face. He turned towards her and set his coffee down on the counter before lifting his hand to her face, resting his palm on her cheek. Her eyes drifted closed, her hand rising to cover his as she tilted her head into his touch, and she sighed softly. The memory of how he had kissed her the night before flooded her mind, the way his fingers had disappeared into her hair as he tilted her head up, the way his body had felt just touching against hers. She wanted to kiss him again (and again, and again), but a sudden thud from upstairs made her open her eyes.