Shadow Walker

by Connie Mason

  Never had Cole wanted to hit anyone more in his life. But Sandy was his friend and probably knew him better than any other man. “Dawn isn’t what you think,” he said through clenched teeth. “She and Cobb were married five years, but technically she was an innocent until I … Never mind, the particulars won’t interest you. Come inside and meet her for yourself. She’s a tolerable cook, you won’t be disappointed.”

  Dawn set biscuits, eggs and ham before the hungry men and turned away to get the coffee.

  “Dawn, meet my partner, Sandy Johnson.”

  Dawn acknowledged the introduction with a quick nod. She was afraid to meet Sandy’s gaze, fearing he’d condemn her wanton behavior with Cole. She did note that he was a handsome man perhaps a year or two older than Cole. The color of his hair fit his name. And his face and hands were tanned to nearly the same sandy shade as his hair.

  “Howdy, ma’am,” Sandy said, removing his hat respectfully and setting it on the knobby back of his chair. “That food smells mighty good.”

  “Sit down, Dawn,” Cole invited when Dawn seemed reluctant to join them.

  Dawn perched on the edge of a three-legged stool which Cole pulled up to the table, her gaze fastened on her plate as she nibbled at her food. Had she bothered to listen she would have learned that the men were more concerned about the return of the money to the railroad than they were about her.

  “Frank Williams will be tickled to see that missing money,” Sandy said as he shoveled a spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

  “I reckon there’s a bonus in it for us.”

  “I won’t turn it down,” Sandy said with a grin. “Wonder where we’ll be sent next.”

  “I know where I’m going,” Cole said, surprising Sandy. “I’m taking a leave to visit my twin sister and her family in Oregon City. When you take the money to Wichita, you can tell the boss I’m taking a year off from my duties. It’s been a long time since I’ve taken a vacation, and there’s something I need to do.”

  Dawn heard Cole’s last words and stopped eating, the fork poised midway to her mouth. This was the first she’d heard about Cole taking time off. Was this something he’d just decided? Did it have anything to do with her?

  Sandy glanced from Cole to Dawn, guessing more than Cole gave him credit for. He sensed something intense flowing between them that not even Cole was aware of, and wasn’t sure he approved. He and Cole had been friends too long for him not to worry and wonder about this outlaw’s woman Cole seemed so protective of. What did he have in mind where Dawn was concerned?

  “So you’re taking time off to visit your family,” Sandy repeated slowly. “Would you care to tell me the truth?”

  Cole sent Dawn a quick glance and shook his head. “Not now. I do intend to visit my sister … eventually. If you’re finished with breakfast, I suggest we go outside. I don’t want to bore Dawn with our business.”

  Sandy rose, adjusted his hat on his head and turned to Dawn. “The breakfast was good, ma’am, thank you kindly. If I don’t see you before I leave, take care of yourself.”

  “Thank you,” Dawn said, still shaken by Cole’s words. “It … it was nice meeting you.”

  “What’s this all about, Cole?” Sandy asked when they had walked a safe distance from the cabin. “It’s not like you to decide things on the spur of the moment. Does your leave have anything to do with the woman?”

  “More or less,” Cole admitted. “I can’t leave Dawn here unprotected. Not with Pickens and Lewis still on the loose.”

  “What the hell does that mean? You’re not planning to stay here with her, are you?”

  “Not hardly,” Cole scoffed. “I’m taking her where I hope she’ll be safe. Then I really do intend to visit my sister. But I’ll need a year to do it all. Tell Frank I’ll be eager to go wherever I’m needed when this little matter is settled.”

  Sandy glanced toward the house. “Where are you taking her? Does Dawn know about your plans?”

  “I haven’t spoken with Dawn yet. Once I do, she’ll realize it’s for her own good. She’s better off with her own kind.”

  “Her own kind? Are you talking about Injuns?”

  “I’m speaking about Indians,” Cole corrected. “Running Elk, to be specific. She’ll be safe with him. Some young buck will be delighted to take her for his mate.”

  “Thank God,” Sandy said with a heartfelt sigh. “For a minute I thought you meant to marry the girl yourself. I’ve never known you to act rashly about anything.”

  “I’ll never marry again,” Cole said with such conviction that Sandy had no reason to doubt him. “I’m taking Dawn to Running Elk and that’s the end of it.”

  Chapter Seven

  Dawn watched from the doorway as Sandy rode away from the cabin. Cole had returned to the cabin briefly for the sack of money and Sandy had stowed it in his saddlebag before heading back to town. Dawn was still surprised that Cole hadn’t left with his partner and didn’t know what to make of it. She waited until Cole reentered the cabin to broach the subject.

  “Why did you stay? If you’re worried about me, you needn’t be. I can take care of myself.”

  Cole sent her an oblique look. “Sit down, Dawn, we need to talk.”

  “About what?”

  “About your future.”

  Dawn bristled as she plopped down into the nearest chair. “My future isn’t your concern.”

  “It is now.”

  “Why, because you bedded me? You took nothing from me, Cole. I gave to you freely and expect nothing in return. You’re not responsible for me.”

  “I’m making you my responsibility. Pickens and Lewis will be back. If not them, then other men will come sniffing around for reasons that have nothing to do with money.”

  Dawn’s chin lifted. “I’ll manage. I’ve decided to take the reward money after all. You did say it was mine, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, if you’ll take it. But seven hundred dollars won’t get you far, or last very long. Face reality. Dawn. You’re a half-breed. It’s not going to be easy to provide for yourself in a world such as we live in now. You’ll probably marry again, but you should weigh your choices carefully before settling down again. I’d hate for you to get tangled up with another Billy Cobb.”

  All this talk about her future was making Dawn’s head ache. Didn’t Cole know she had already considered her options? She’d never marry again, that much she knew. She’d had enough of abusive men to last a lifetime. If all men were as kindhearted as Cole it would be wonderful, but men like Cole were few and far between. And they weren’t interested in marrying someone like her.

  “I don’t see why that should matter to you,” Dawn replied. “Go to Oregon. Visit your sister. You’ll soon forget I ever existed.”

  “I can’t do that,” Cole said softly. His eyes were hooded, revealing nothing of his inner thoughts. “I’ve come to a decision, Dawn, one I hope you’ll accept.”

  Dawn went still. She didn’t like the sound of that. She was her own woman now. She wasn’t required to follow the dictates of any man.

  “You’ve come to a decision,” Dawn repeated with a hint of sarcasm. “Shouldn’t I be the one to decide my future?”

  Cole shook his head. “Not since … not since I learned just how innocent you really were. Just listen to what I have to say.”

  Dawn rose abruptly and went to the window. She’d spent five years in this isolated cabin, without friends or human contact except Billy and his men. She’d grown to hate this place and what it represented. She looked forward to leaving, but she was not planning to go to any destination Cole had in mind. Their moment of shared bliss had been incredible, but she was astute enough to realize that Cole had bedded her because she was available. He cared about her future because basically he was a good person. His love was reserved for his dead wife.

  It wasn’t as if she loved Cole, she told herself. She hardly knew him. He had taught her passion and she was grateful, but she wasn’t sure she’d ever trust a man
with her life.

  She did wish, however, that after they parted he’d not forget her easily. Cole would be haunting her memories the rest of her life. It seemed only right that he should remember her at least for the space of a single week.

  “Dawn, are you listening? Don’t you want to know what I’ve decided?”

  Dawn turned from the window to stare at Cole. “Go ahead and have your say. Not that it will matter one way or the other. What I do after you leave is entirely my decision.” She returned her gaze to the scene outside the window.

  Suddenly Dawn was aware of Cole standing behind her, so close she could feel his warmth seeping into her. She wanted to lean back against him, to hear him say she was going to be all right, to feel safe and protected. Instead she stood rigid, shoulders squared, chin high. She refused to accept his pity. Not even when he placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him did she give him the satisfaction of knowing that his nearness affected her in ways that disturbed her. Once Cole left, her life would never be the same.

  “I’m leaving tomorrow, Dawn, and you’re coming with me.”

  “What! That … that’s ridiculous.”

  “No, it makes good sense. I’m taking you where you’ll be safe. Where I won’t have to worry about you once I return to my job.”

  Now Dawn was really confused. It sounded as if Cole intended to drop her off somewhere like unwanted baggage. “I don’t want to go to Oregon.”

  “I’m not talking about Oregon.”

  Dawn hadn’t really expected that Cole would take her to his sister, but she couldn’t conceive of another place he could take her where she’d be safe. “I don’t like this game, Cole. This is my life you’re talking about. Speak your piece, then leave like you planned.”

  He led her over to the bed and sat her down. Then he began pacing back and forth in front of her. “I think I’ve mentioned that I was married once to a woman named Morning Mist. She was beautiful, sweet, kind … well, never mind, that’s not important. Morning Mist was killed in a raid upon her village while I was away. When I returned and learned her fate, I couldn’t bring myself to return to the White world.

  “Running Elk, Morning Mist’s brother, asked me to stay with his people. I spent four years with the Sioux, learning to live with my grief. They taught me skills that I would never have learned otherwise. I left when Running Elk decided to move his people to the reservation.”

  Dawn was moved by Cole’s story but couldn’t see how it affected her. “What is the point in all this?”

  “As I’ve said before, you’re too innocent, too vulnerable to be left on your own.”

  Dawn bristled indignantly. “I’m not helpless. I can hunt, fish, plant a garden and glean edible food from the forest. I don’t need a man.”

  Cole ignored her protest and continued his explanation. “Running Elk is a good man. He’s like a brother to me. You will fit in with his people and in time learn to adjust to a new way of life. Running Elk will treat you well and find a good husband for you.”

  The color drained from Dawn’s face. “I know nothing about Indians, their culture, or the lives they lead. How can you expect me to fit in with people who are foreign to me? Besides, I don’t want a husband.”

  “You said you speak the Sioux tongue.”

  “Not fluently. My mother taught me what little I know. I don’t want to live with Indians. You can’t make me do something I don’t want to do.”

  Cole stopped pacing and sat down beside Dawn. “I’ve thought long and hard about this. It’s the only solution. I believe you’ll feel more secure with Indians than with Whites. Half-breeds are despised by White society. I can’t bear the thought of you being abused and tormented by society because of the color of your skin. You’re coming with me and that’s final. Pack up your belongings, we’ll go into town later today and buy tickets on the first train to Cheyenne. From there we will make our way by horseback to the Red Cloud Agency.”

  “I can’t believe you’ve planned all this without my approval. I’m not going anywhere with you.” She started to rise, but he grasped her hands to prevent her from leaving.

  “You have no choice. I’ve already accepted responsibility for you and I want a clear conscience where you’re concerned. If I hadn’t bedded you …”

  “If you hadn’t bedded me you would have ridden out of here and promptly forgotten me,” Dawn supplied.

  “Perhaps. But that’s a moot point now. What’s done is done. I’ll never marry again, I decided that a long time ago. There will be other women, but none who mean anything to me. I’m telling you this so you’ll know that I’m doing the best I can for you under the restrictions I’ve placed upon myself. What I’m saying, Dawn, is that I can’t marry you, and I want you to understand it’s not because of what or who you are but what and who I’ve become since Morning Mist’s death.”

  “I have no desire to marry a man I hardly know. I’ve tried marriage, it isn’t for me. Taking my virginity is not a valid reason for accepting responsibility for me. It could have happened at any time. I’m grateful it was you and not one of Billy’s men.”

  Cole stared at her. At her sweet face, so like Morning Mist’s it took his breath away. Her long black hair, blue eyes and dusky golden skin seduced and enticed him. He didn’t usually take advantage of innocent woman, but just looking at Dawn made him ache to make love to her again. Her red lips were moist and lush and incredibly tantalizing. Despite her slimness, her breasts were full and firm. Her earthy beauty was rare and highly erotic.

  “I wholeheartedly agree,” Cole said earnestly. “That fact makes my obligation even more pressing. It will work out, love, you’ll see.”

  “Don’t call me that,” Dawn said, refusing to look at him. “I’ve never been anyone’s love in my life. I’m not as innocent as you think. Billy did … things to me that I can’t even talk about. After a while, when he realized he couldn’t perform with me no matter what he did, he resorted to beatings.”

  “Forget Cobb,” Cole said angrily. “No man will ever hurt you like that again. I’m going to make sure of that. You’ll be fine with Running Elk. He will treat you like a sister and see that other men respect you.”

  Dawn’s eyes grew misty. No one had ever cared about her enough to want her happiness. Yet something inside her resisted Cole’s plans. He had no right to organize her life for her.

  “I’m sorry, Cole, I won’t go. I know what you’re doing. You’re salving your conscience where I’m concerned, but I don’t want you to feel guilty about what we did.”

  “The hell I am!” Cole cried, leaping to his feet and jerking her up with him. “Conscience has nothing to do with my decision.” Those words were not exactly true, but Cole preferred not to admit that his guilt over bedding Cobb’s widow was enormous. But he wasn’t sorry it had happened. Hell, no! He’d enjoyed their mating, and was glad he’d been the one to initiate her to passion.

  “Listen to me, Dawn,” he said more reasonably. “Just try it for a while. If you don’t fit in, or if you hate it, you can leave. I’ll tell Running Elk you’re free to leave whenever you wish. Just give it a chance.”

  Cole wanted to say more, but Dawn’s nearness was having its usual effect upon his body. They were standing so close he could feel the tips of her breasts pressing against his chest. The thickness of their clothing did little to protect them from the scorching heat arcing between them. Taking an aggressive step forward, Cole pulled her further into his embrace. He stared at her hard, unblinking. Green eyes flashing. He wanted to kiss her so damn bad he ached.

  Dawn went still, the line of her spine rigid. Did Cole think he could use sexual persuasion to bring her around to his way of thinking?

  Then all thought fled as his mouth came down hard on hers. His kiss deepened. Her lips softened beneath his for a brief moment as she opened her mouth and touched his tongue with hers. Then reality returned and she pulled away. In aching silence she watched him drop his arms and step back.<
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  “Your method of persuasion won’t work,” Dawn said. Her breathlessness belied her words.

  He searched her face; his intent gaze plumbed the very core of her soul, recognizing something she feared to admit. A reluctant smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “That kiss wasn’t meant as persuasion. I wanted to kiss you. Regardless of what you say, you’re going to accompany me to Running Elk’s village.”

  “Cole, this is—”

  “… The right thing to do. Pack your personal items. Cobb’s horse is a good one. He can serve as your mount. Does he have a name?”

  “Billy called him Wally, don’t ask me why.”

  “Wally and Warrior can travel with us on the same train. Old Betsy will find a happy home at the livery. Can you be ready in an hour? Perhaps we can get a train out of here yet today.”

  Dawn glanced around the ramshackle cabin, seeing nothing she cared to take with her as a reminder of her former life. Except for the clothing Cole had bought her and a small memento from her mother, she had no personal effects. She could flee this place with no regrets if it wasn’t for the way Cole was bullying her into leaving. He’d made it perfectly clear he didn’t want her for himself, so why wouldn’t he just leave? He complicated her life and disordered her thoughts.

  When Dawn stared at him mutinously, Cole said, “I mean it, Dawn. You have one hour to gather your belongings.” Then he strode out the door without waiting for an answer.

  One hour later Dawn and Cole rode away from the cabin. Dawn didn’t look back once. She was leaving behind no fond memories, nothing she’d miss or regret. But that didn’t mean she’d meekly follow Cole. She didn’t want to live with Indians. She might look like an Indian, but in her heart she didn’t feel like one. It was disheartening to realize that she belonged to no particular race or culture. She was a product of two cultures, despised by both Indians and Whites. Billy had been right when he’d said she was worthless to anyone.